


Another Beginning

by NebulaEyes



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Aziraphale and Crowley Met Before The Fall (Good Omens), Aziraphale and Crowley Through The Ages (Good Omens), Aziraphale is "just enough of a bastard to be worth knowing" (Good Omens), BAMF Aziraphale (Good Omens), BAMF Crowley (Good Omens), Bottom Crowley (Good Omens), Caring Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley Loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley Was Raphael Before Falling (Good Omens), Crowley is Good With Kids (Good Omens), Female-Presenting Crowley (Good Omens), First Kiss, First Time, Fluff and Angst, Good Parent Crowley (Good Omens), Good Person Gabriel (Good Omens), Holy Water, Hurt Aziraphale (Good Omens), Hurt/Comfort, I Made Myself Cry, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Bad At Titles, Idiots in Love, Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), Injured Aziraphale, It's another through the ages I can't help myself!, Let it be known I am not a historian, Library of Alexandria, M/M, Male Crowley (Good Omens), Oblivious Aziraphale (Good Omens), POV Crowley (Good Omens), Pregnant Crowley (Good Omens), Protective Crowley, Protective Gabriel (Good Omens), Romantic Soulmates, South Downs Cottage (Good Omens), The Arrangement (Good Omens), The Author Regrets Nothing, Top Aziraphale (Good Omens), Wings, Worried Aziraphale (Good Omens), mentions of alternate universes, mentions of supernatural fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-25
Updated: 2019-12-04
Packaged: 2021-01-03 03:54:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 26
Words: 96,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21172994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NebulaEyes/pseuds/NebulaEyes
Summary: At first Heaven is a happy and loving place. Then the war happened and Raphael (Crowley) steps in front of a lethal strike from Lucifer that was meant for Aziraphale. However, God's not done with him yet. Now, with Crowley still completely aware of his angelic life and Aziraphale not recognizing him due to God's alterations, they go through the years together and learn about each other in new, but opposite lights. What will happen to the bond they once had? What tests will they have to face? What wounds will need to be healed? How do they gain the unlikeliest of allies with only Crowley knowing about it? How does Crowley go through the years knowing that Aziraphale thinks his angelic self stayed dead? What happens when everything is brought to light and long kept secrets are revealed? What will happen when Heaven and Hell find out about the switch?





	1. In The Beginning

I was dust. I didn't know I knew that, but I knew. I knew I was being pulled, pushed, held, dropped, lifted, kissed, embraced, and I knew I was gaining more and more knowledge with every action. I also knew I was being given a form somehow. Soon, I felt warm, cold, happy, sad, angry, loved, curious, confused, concerned, and it was strange, but with every new emotion, I felt it become a part of me, but I wasn't FEELING the emotion at the moment.

As everything continued to rush to me, becoming a part of me, I felt the particles of me being formed out of dust. It was an important dust too. It wasn't a normal dust like the image that appeared in my mind. A dust that grows green things and feeds walking things...that...weren't created yet. No...it wasn't a dust like that. It was a dust that when melded together can create a living thing. When altered, can breath. When breathed into, can feel. When moved, can be given color. When spoken to, can be given shape. When embraced and loved...can become anything that the holder and controller of the dust wishes. It was a remarkable dust, but I didn't know it's name yet.

Once I felt whole, warm, and filled with love, I opened what I knew to be my eyes, and I was standing in front of a beautiful being. The being's hair was glimmering white that cascaded down in waves and ringlets, her eyes were every color I knew and some I didn't know yet, but I knew they would be given a name in time, but it swirled like the state of matter I knew to be liquid. Soon, they stopped on a wonderful silver color that shined like a glowing light I would know eventually, but didn't know at the moment. The being's cheeks held a slight tint of pink, the being's lips were a shade of red like a fruit I knew I would know given time, they had skin nearly as pale as the light coming off of them, and they were wearing a white and golden cloth that I knew to be a dress. "Who are you? What are you? Who am I? What am I? How is it I know some things, but others I don't know, and the things I don't know...how is it I know I will know them eventually? I was once dust, then I knew I was dust, then I could feel. Please, tell me?"

The being let out a sigh, and it was a comforting noise somehow. They then nodded their head with a joyful smile. "So many questions. Yes, you are exactly what I need." She waved her hand and an object I knew to be a mirror appeared. "Tell me if there is anything about your appearance you do not like, and I will change it."

I held a hand to my chest as a loving beat suddenly started. "Wh-What is this pounding in my chest?"

"It is called a heart. It is where emotions will be stored, activated, altered, affected, and cherished."

"A-And the warmth here?" I asked as I pointed just below my heart, in the middle of the muscles of my flat stomach.

"That is a soul." She smiled, then I watched that smile grow wider. "Oh! I have another idea!"

"A-An idea?" I wondered as I watched her come around to me, pushing me gently towards the mirror, which I now looked into and noticed that my eyes were golden with shades of burnt orange here and there. "What is the color of my eyes?"

"The color of your eyes will be known as amber. When not in the presence of my light or when light isn't shining on it, it will seem a light brown. Now, an idea...is a thought. It can be a thought to do something, to create something, or to be something. Now..." As she looked at my back, and pressed her warm fingers against it, I noticed another distinct difference.

"Why do you wear clothing, but I do not?"

"Because I have made you so. If I had made you with clothing, the clothing would've been a part of you just as easily as your skin is, and that is not what I wanted."

I nodded my head, accepting the answer as I noticed how red my hair was. It was striking, but at the same time, just dull enough to be beautiful. "What are you doing? What is your idea?"

"I will make a manifestation of your grace, but it will also hold rank, power, history, beauty...it will almost be a physicality of your soul. Almost. Your soul won't ever change."

"Why not?"

"That is for me to know."

"Are there things I won't be allowed to know?"

"Not entirely." She answered with a thoughtful expression, before she started to take her left and right fingers and started drawing three curved lines on the right side of my back and the same on the left side. I then watched in the mirror, as the mirror itself grew incredibly large and wide, as she stepped back, spreading her hands and arms.

At that moment, I felt the lines become warm, loving, powerful, wonderful, overwhelming, beautiful, light, soft, strong, fierce, magnificent, and they were mine to control. Once they were done growing, rows of feathers of various softness, lengths, and strengths appeared in every wing. That was another thing. I knew these to be my wings. They were wonderful. They were a color I instantly knew to be Ebony, but there were small dots of silver, blue, gold, white, purple, green, and every color in between. It was the dust I was made out of. "They're gorgeous!" I whispered out once I was able to control them and bring them in front of me. "They're mine?"

"Yes. Completely yours and uniquely yours. No one will ever have your wings."

"There will be more like me, then?" I quickly asked with a beaming smile as excitement bubbled in my chest, but apparently my wings were connected with that excitement, because they started to flap wildly. Once I realize it, I reigned in my emotions. "I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean-" I was interrupted by her laughter. It was joyous, bright, and wonderful. It soothed my soul's instant worry.

"Please, don't be sorry, my child! You'll gain control of your wings and the connection they have with your grace, soul, and heart. Now...as far as there being others like you. That won't be possible, as I will make you unique. You already ARE unique. I will create others with the same physical features, but some will have less wings, some will have the same number of wings, some will merely have light where their wings will be, and there will be different classifications and ranks. However, all of you will be my children and you will be called my angels."

"Okay...what about my earlier questions?"

"Your name is Raphael. You will be the oldest and wisest of my angels. You'll also be the most caring, giving, selfless, and loving. You will be known as a Seraphim or Seraph until I move you to a different rank, but you will keep your original power. I am Ineffable."

"What's Ineffable?" I questioned with a tilt of my head. "Something beyond comprehension. I am light, dark, love, fury, happiness, sadness, everything, nothing, everywhere, and nowhere, and I am so much more. So much more beyond anyone's comprehension other than my own. As far as names go...one cannot name their being on their own. Someone has to name them. Everything will have a name, but someone must come up with the name carefully."

"Why?"

"Because names are important. Names have meaning. The names of my angels will have meaning only to me, but I will know their meaning and their light. So...what would you call me?"

"Wait...I am to name someone as Great as you? You formed me! You created me! Every inch of me is me because of you! How could I possibly name you?"

"With careful consideration, Raphael. What you name me, I will always be and it will be how I introduce myself to my angels and anything else I should create."

"I...a-are you sure?"

"Are you doubting me?" She asked and the instant her smile turned down I felt something clench painfully in my chest. Heartache. I hate it.

"No! Of course not! I doubt myself!" I hurried to reassure her. When the small sympathetic smile returned, the pain eased immensely, but it still hurt that it had to be eased in the first place.

"There's no need for that. You will be amazing, wonderful, and you will be a part of my plans. I've made you unique. I will not tell you how or why, and that brings me to answer your other question. Yes, there will be things I won't tell you, but there are also a great many things you will need to find out for yourself. So...my name?"

"Careful consideration?" I swallowed a nervous lump in my throat and she nodded.

"Take your time."

"What's time?"

She let out a soft giggle as she shook her head. "We'll discuss that later."

"Okay...um..." I thought carefully of everything I had heard, known, felt, and learned from Her since I was created. I had many words in my head, and she deserved many more. "I'd give you many names." I stated as I brought a hand to my mouth in contemplation. I thought it over quite a bit as I looked at her, and she was being ever patient with me. While I took in her appearance and my knowledge, I could practically see the words floating behind her, but the ones that didn't fit turned red, so I waved them away. I hadn't even realized I was actually physically waving away words until I noticed a smirk on her face. I gasped in shock as I immediately looked at my hands with widened eyes. "What?"

"You were creating. With incredible ease as well. I'm impressed."

"Y-You um...didn't make me this way?"

"I gave you the ability, but the skills of how you use it, the dexterity you use them with, what your heart, soul, and grace agree upon for the intention of your powers, the emotion behind them, the thought behind them, and the EASE or DIFFICULTY of how you do it...that's all up to you. That's your decision and your's to discover. You've so far exceeded my expectations though. Please continue. I made myself unknown to the words behind me, but I could tell you gave them physical form, emotion, and when you would try and link them to me, the words themselves decided they didn't fit. Please, keep going. You're doing wonderful."

I let out a soft happy laugh before continuing as I was. Red words continued to appear one after the other. Words that just didn't fit, and I continued to wave them away. Then, I remember what she said about my wings. Grace. That word appeared but it was yellow. "Oh..." I looked at the word with a small amount of joy jumping around in my chest. I tilted my head back and forth at the word 'Grace' and felt it was the start to a good word, but it wasn't full yet. "That's it!" I laughed out. 'Graceful!' I set the word off to the side, leaving it in physical form as it shined a bright Green, tethering itself to her, and I watched as her eyes widened and her smile grew.

"You've picked a word? A name?"

"Not yet." I answered.

"Not yet?" She furrowed her brow at me and a good feeling happened in my chest. It wasn't joy or sorrow, but...confidence? Pride? Yes...Pride...but...I felt in my heart that the word had a rough meaning. A meaning that hidden deep within it was telling me to be careful with that feeling.

"No, not yet. I feel as if you should have three names."

"Three?" She blinked a few times, her smile growing. "Why three?"

"Honestly? I don't know. I think it's because I really like that number."

"Hmm...interesting. Well...continue, then."

I nodded my head and watched as more red words appeared, then yellow, then I would organize them until the yellow would turn green, and with every green word, it seemed to make her happier. After I was satisfied with all of the words that described her and what I felt from her and for her, and what I learned from her, I took one step back and took the first letter from every word and rearranged them until the beginning letters made words of their own. "There, finished!" I walked up to her until I was standing by her side and smiled at her. "You can turn around and look at your names now."

She turned around and gave an open mouthed smile as her eyes shone with glee, making the prideful feeling in my chest become warm once more. "They're beautiful names! What do they mean?" She looked at me just as excited as I had been earlier about there being more angels.

I waved my hand at the first one I had formed and allowed the words to spell downwards in wisps of green color, showing the words that each letter meant.

Graceful

Omnipotent

Diligent

"That one says God. All these names are to show how powerful, loving, and kind you can be, but they will also show how fierce you can be. You said you're Ineffable, but you also said you were other things and that should never be forgotten."

"Remarkable!" She breathed out. "Show me more!"

"Right..." I chuckled lightly.

Loving

Omnipresent

Regal

Defining

"That one says Lord." I told her and watched as she nodded her head.

"And the longest one?"

"This one might be one of the most important, because it describes the good and the bad."

"Truly?" There was an honest surprise in her eyes as well as something thoughtful. It was almost as if she was taking consideration as to what I was saying. "Why do that?"

"Well...this place we're in...it's dark...but you and I...we are light, but you are the brightest light. The colors...black and white. Everything seems to need an opposite to be defined. One cannot exist without the other it seems, and it feels...when I say it...it feels right. So...in this word...everyone will know that you are most important to us."

"Show me then, Raphael." Hearing her say my name left me feeling content and loved, and I knew immediately I would always cherish that feeling in all it's forms, and I knew there would be other forms.

All-powerful

Light

Methodical

Ineffable

Glorious

Honest

Tenacious

Youthful

"The one says Almighty. It's what you are. Among other things of course, but every word in this one...is both good and bad."

"How so?"

"Well...All-powerful, that's good, because that means that we have you and you're all-powerful and you will be able to teach us...well...I say us...the other angels and I...about our powers and what we are...what we're meant to do...but sometimes...I believe too much power might be dangerous. Light is a wonderful thing, but too much of it or if it suddenly creeps into a persons eyes without gentle words or warning...it can be harmful. You were VERY bright when I opened my eyes. Almost...blindingly so, but my eyes adjusted. Methodical is a very good word, but sometimes...I feel like an individual's methods...if not thought through properly...could lead to pain for more than just one person involved. Ineffable...well...you know. Then, there's glorious, which sounds completely positive, but...well...as you were congratulating me and praising me...I felt something like Pride. I feel it needs to be controlled. I think Glorious is the same way. I think that too much glory...leads to the bad sort of pride, but if well controlled...can be kind and positive. Honesty is nice, but I feels as if too much of it...and if not handled with kindness, compassion and a steady heart...it could harm others. Tenacious is all well and good...holding on to things you hold dear or love...but...it can also lead to a G word that just didn't seem right for you and it was Greed. I think it's just as bad as pride. Now, Youthful, that one was tricky, but I figured it out. I don't mean by looks. I mean by action. When I saw the word, I looked into it more...as if...I was spinning out the word strand by strand...and I saw the word and knew it...did you give me this ability?"

"Yes, go on."

"All right...well...do you know the word like I know it?"

"I know every word in every language that will ever be. I know what every word means, but meanings placed to others is important and should be done from one person to another. Not just me. You will see in time."

"That word again..." I shook my head with a small smile. "...well...I think acting youthful is fun. You're energetic, bouncy, joyful, mirthful, and filled with joy, but if not controlled...you may not be taken seriously. So...that's it. Those are your names. God, Lord, Almighty, and then we call you what you would like for us to call you. You said I was your son...and I saw an M word...Mother. I like that one too."

"Then that is what all of my angels shall call me, among the other names you've chosen, but...and this is important...no one is to know that you gave me those names."

"I understand." I nodded.

"Good. This is the beginning, Raphael, and I am God. The beginning is me."

"Yes, Mother." I let out a joyful laugh.

"This is going to be so interesting! Now, let's get you some clothes." She waved her hand and robes were instantly on me. "So...now that you have some robes, how about you change the coloring of them? Change it to anything you like. Design and all."

"Truly?" I asked with another bout of excitement and earned a reassuring smile in return. "Okay...does color have meaning like names do?"

"Do you want them to?"

"I think it would be a great idea. That is...if you don't mind." I felt a bit small, but hopeful. I think I'll call this feeling shy...for now.

"I think it's a wonderful idea, Raphael."

"Right! Okay then...so...what kind of angel will I be?"

"A wise one, a healer, and a Guardian. What you will Guard, I will not tell you just yet."

"Alright...I think...a kind and good color. One that puts people at ease...but the color should be deep." I waved my hand at my robes, turning them a deep, but definitely noticeable green. I then looked at the shoulders of my robes and hovered a hand over them, creating intricate golden designs that stood out among the deep green. "I like this. I just feel like there's something missing."

"I think I know, and since you will be my eldest, you shall have it. Your siblings will have it as well, but I will also add something. I will give each angel a unique mark or item that is for them alone." She stepped forward and kissed my forehead, making a crown of light appear above my head. "You can turn the light off and make the halo invisible if you wish, but it will be proof you are mine. It's your light, and just like your wings being physical manifestations of your grace, this is a physical manifestation of your emotions. If your emotions become too much, or you are overwhelmed with a feeling, it will glow brighter and brighter until you calm down. This way, your power remains in check as well as your emotion." She placed her palm in the middle of my chest, making me curious as I felt something be made into my skin. Once she took her hand away, I moved my robes to see what she placed there, and to my surprise, it was a golden mark that was curling in on itself.

"What is it?"

"It will eventually be known as a snake. Remember, Raphael, I have a reason for everything. Good or bad...I have a reason, but I will not tell ALL of my reasons. Remember that. Please?"

"Of course, Mother."

"Good. I should get started creating the other angels. You will have an opportunity to meet all of them, but do not feel as if you have to answer all of their questions. I will create a place for us and call it Heaven. It will be marvelous. You will see."


	2. Let's Get Started

True to her word, I had met nearly ALL of the angels she has created, and I learned many new words. I didn't tell the others that I was wise, or that I was supposed to be. I didn't tell them I was unique. I just didn't want to. It didn't feel right. From what I could tell, there were thirty million angels, and God said that's how many we had SO FAR. It seems that she plans to create more angels at some point, but not at the moment. For now, it would just be the thirty million.

Heaven itself was expansive. It was wonderful, amazing, and incredible. It was infinite and it held Garden after Garden, cloud fields, endless space for flying in, Almost all of us had our own rooms, I know I did, and Michael, Gabriel, Lucifer, and Uriel did, but my room was a Garden on its own. I made it so, because it felt beautiful and right. My room had lush green grassy floors, large trees that bore fruit, bushes that grew berries of different types, there was more greenery than I could've ever imagined, I had a bathing pool of my own that had a water fall and crystal clear water that was so deep, I could dive as far as I could and still never reach the bottom. It was beautiful. However, I had to leave my room today to go and meet with the other angels, because Mother said that she had an announcement concerning all angels.

Once in the Grand Hall, I saw Gabriel there, so I moved to his side. "What do you think this is about?" He asked me as soon as he felt my presence.

"Not sure, but whatever it is, it's sure to be important. All of us are here. What do YOU think this is about?"

"If I knew that, dear brother, do you really think I would be asking you?" He scoffed out a laugh, and I just shook my head.

"No need to give attitude, Gabriel. I was only asking for your opinion."

He was about to say something, but God quickly interrupted him, and appeared in front of all of us. "My children...my angels...thank you for gathering before me today. As all of you know, you are here for an announcement I am to make. I have decided to gift you all something rather special. I will gift you with love."

"But Mother..." I spoke up with confidence, gaining the ire of Gabriel, Michael, and a few of the Cherubs that didn't know I was the first angel, mainly due to the fact that everyone was created in groups. "...we already love. We love you, we love each other, and we love everything you create." The ire quickly died down and settled into an air of 'He has a point.' So, I waited patiently for her answer.

"That is true, Raphael. That is so very true. However, that is not entirely what I meant. I will give each and every one of you someone to love and cherish. Someone that will be connected to your grace more so than I am. What I mean by that is, their happiness will be your happiness, their sadness, their anger, their pain, their struggle, it will be shared between the two of you. Each of you will get what will be called a mate, or a Grace Mate. They will be one individual angel unique to solely you. They will also not come from the same rank or classification either. I have seen how different ranks and classifications treat each other, and it saddens me greatly, as I had the purpose of creating all of you with love and kindness. So, I will do this to remedy the situation. Now, I will not alter your personalities, but I will link your graces together with the one I intend for you. If you wish, you can fight it, ignore it, or even pretend this assembly never happened, but know this, if you do so, you will be going against me and my plans, and that hurts my heart."

"Mother..." I started again, and once again everyone grew irritated with me. "...how will we know who our...Grace Mate is?"

"When I am done speaking, I will cast my light onto all of you, and you will instantly know. Now, I will say this, they will be your only Grace Mate. No one will ever get another one. This is your mate for all eternity...even IF you ignore the fact you have one. Cherish them, know them, be there for them, learn from them, and most importantly, love them in only ways that you can." She shined her light on us, and I knew in not just my Grace, but in my heart and soul as well, the name of the angel that I was to be with. He was a Principality and is name was actually almost similar to my own. Once the light and God vanished all of us looked around and felt our own individual pulls, tugging us towards our intended mate.

I could feel him getting closer and closer, but I couldn't tell exactly where from, because everyone was crowding my senses, but I was looking around frantically for him. It was a connection unlike any other, and I suppose that's because I additionally have a heart and a soul, but it...the feeling was Ineffable and wonderful! It was a heavy feeling, but it also had me feeling lighter than ever. Then, I felt someone tap me on the shoulder, and I knew who it was, so I turned around and saw him. "O-Oh! Hello!"

"Hello." I replied with a small smile. "What's your name?"

"My name is Aziraphale, and yours?" The smile he gave...it needed to be put somewhere in creation. It needed something to prove how beautiful it was. How simple it was, and yet, how it drew my smile wider. His eyes were strikingly incredible! There were greens, blues, and small hints of amber close to the pupils.

"My name is Raphael. You're a Principality, correct?"

"Yes, but I'm having trouble figuring out what you are. You're not a Principality, an average angel, and you're most certainly not a Cherub...so...where are you? An Archangel perhaps?"

"Well, yes and no." I tilted my head as I drew out the word 'well' with a slightly higher pitched voice. "My classification is Archangel, but my rank is Seraphim." His eyes went wide and his jaw dropped a bit, and a tint of pink appeared on his face, which was interesting. I had seen that tint on God's face after she had laughed a great deal, but never on another angel. I brought my hand up gently to his cheek and furrowed my brow, feeling a twinge of concern in my chest, and as soon as my hand touched his cheek, he made a squeaking noises. "Are you all right? Your face is red."

"Y-Yes, I'm fine. I believe it um...is called a blush. It um...can happen when someone is feeling a lot of something or if they're laughing a lot."

"What are you feeling?" I asked, slowly taking my hand away while silently asking myself why I brought it up to his cheek like that in the first place. We had only just met after all.

"Um...well...flustered, I suppose. You, um...you're a Seraphim. The Seraphim were first out of all of us, and you're..."

"I'm your mate, and between us there will be no difference of rank or classification, all right? You and I will just be ourselves." I smiled at him, noticing how my words ever so slightly relaxed his shoulders, showing his fuller form, rather than the tense form he took after I touched his cheek.

"How do we be ourselves when that is exactly what we are? Will we learn more about each other that way? Have you somehow become able to separate yourself from your titles? How did you get those titles anyway?" He questioned, and I just shook my head in a fond manner. I now knew why God chose him to be my mate. Questions, so many questions.

"We'll have plenty of time to discuss that later, Aziraphale." When I said his name he seemed to flinch, but somehow in a good way. "What is it?"

"Oh...it's um...nothing. I just...I like hearing you say my name is all."

"Well, good. You'll be hearing it often. Now...I know the perfect place where we can figure out how to be ourselves rather than our titles. You see, our titles are for God, but ourselves are...well...I would say ourselves, but now they're for each other...and HER of course, but that's not what we're talking about right now. Come, I can show you my favorite Garden."

"Oh? Where would that be?"

"My room." I stated honestly, but then I noticed a surprised look on his face. "What?"

"You have a Garden in your room?"

"Yes, but we don't have to go there if you don't want to. We can go flying for a bit, or I can even teach you a little of what I know. She did say to learn from each other."

"Oh! I do like the idea of learning from you. Yes, let's do that, but in the training grounds. Perhaps you can learn something from me."

"Confidence!" I grinned at him as I looked at him, completely impressed with the turn around his personality just had. "Yes, I would love to see what you're capable of. Let's go." I followed him to the training grounds, and I realized that I had forgotten how dull it was. It was pure white, no windows, no color, and of course...there were weapons of choice, but that's the only color it offered. "Now I remember why I never came back here."

"Do you not like this place?"

"There's no color in it."

"Oh, but you're mistaken!" He breathed out with a fond shake of his head that was a bit similar to how Mother shook her head when I was being 'adorably foolish'.

"If you're going to tell me that the weapons have color and that white is a color, then save it. I already know that."

"No, My Dear...oh..." He stopped and so did I at the term of what HAD to be endearment. "...that phrase rather came out on its own. I...I quite like it."

"So do I, if I'm going to be honest." I answered with a stuttering heart. "Um...right...you pick a sword yet?"

"I-I do believe I have." He answered picking one up.

"A flaming sword! Beautiful!"

"Yes, I think so. Say, why do you pick a staff? Does it do anything special?"

"No, it doesn't do anything special, but I choose it, because I never want to do harm like a blade does. You'll likely noticed that I'm the only one that uses a staff as a form of weapon. Everyone else has a blade, or if they don't have a blade, if they have some trinket or another, it does something special, but nope, not mine. Just a piece of wood I crafted myself from a tree from God's own Garden with her permission. It's plain, ordinary, not blessed, and it's just mine, really. Now, what was it you said about color in the room?"

He readied himself eight paces across from me which was unusual, but I allowed it as I watched him smile at me, causing an instant strike of something in my chest that rang clearly with two thoughts. _'I shouldn't underestimate him.'_ And _'How do I get him to smile like that again!?' _He cleared his throat once before suddenly lunging for me, but I dodged him without lifting my staff. "Well, there's you for instance!" He laughed before trying to strike me again, but his movements were too wide to really do anything, and the way he held himself with each lunge or swing practically screamed where he was going for.

"Oh?" I asked as I dodged a swing to my chest by jumping back. "How so?" I smirked.

"Well..." Another swing. "...your robes..." Another lunge. "...your hair..." Another Lunge. "...your eyes..." Another swing. "...your pale skin..." Another lunge, but this one he was exactly one inch closer with his movement to his chest and shoulders. "...and now..." He smirked before keeping the sword where it was for just a moment before he twirled around and surprised me with the blade cutting my right cheek. "...your blood on the floor." He huffed before backing away. "See? There's color in this room. Now there's a splash of gold."

"You tricked me!" I laughed as I touched my hand to my cheek. "You were bad on purpose!"

"My own technique. It allows me to gauge how an opponent might respond. You preformed beautifully, My Dear."

"Oh, but I haven't done anything yet." I grinned before taking my staff in both my hands and started going after him with all my speed, forcing him to fly away from me. I lifted into the air after him in the infinite room and I ever so gently tapped the elbow of his right wing, throwing him off balance and therefore to the ground, where I then crouched over him with a leg on either side, holding the middle of my staff against his throat. "And I still have energy to spare, Dearest." I tested out my own little nickname on him, which earned me, not another blush, but a joyful smile with shining eyes.

"Seems we can learn a lot from each other. I'm eager to find out what else we might learn."

"Well, perhaps I can teach you Gardening. I did help with all of the Gardens." I breathed out as I got off of him, allowing him to stand, but then he did something that no one had ever done or been able to do before; He took my staff from my hands, hit me on my back with the length of it, jabbed the top of it in my stomach, quickly grabbed his sword before kicking the back of one of my knees, wrapped his arm around my shoulders to hold me against him, and used the other hand to point the tip of the blade at both of us, but mainly my throat.

"I think I'll leave that to you, My Dear. I'm more of the combat variety."

He was about to move, but I grabbed his robes and threw him over my shoulders and onto his own back in front of me. "I'm sure we can find something!" I laughed out before picking up my staff again. Then, with a thought, I miracled it back to my room. He stayed on his back so I got on my knees, lifted his head, and pulled lightly to tell him to lay his head on my lap.

Once he did and once he seemed comfortable he looked up at me with a mirthful smile and a slight chuckle. "I'm sure we can. What kind of powers do you have? I may have some that could prove useful to you and you may have some that could prove useful to me."

"We'd basically end up with the same powers with how you're talking." I told him as I gently petted his cloud soft hair, which he apparently liked if the hum of approval and his eyes being closed was any indication.

"And what would be the harm in that? If God doesn't like it, we'll stop. She said to learn from each other, and we are. It would be good if we had the same powers I think." His eyes then suddenly shot wide open with worry. "Oh! I hope you do know that I'm not trying to just...gain more power, I-"

"Relax, Dearest." I shook my head at him as I continued to pet his hair. "I know. I can feel you. You're connected to me."

"Yeah, but it's likely not the same." He sighed out before getting off my lap, causing me to feel a distinct lack of warmth.

"What do you mean?" I questioned cautiously as I stood with him.

"I'm different. Far different from the other angels." He seemed to honestly shrink in on himself, and I knew immediately that I didn't like that look on his face.

"How? Aziraphale, tell me how you're different? I won't think any less of you, I promise." I rested my hands on his shoulders to get him to look at me, but when he did, there was a sort of sadness or...fear...in his eyes. "You have my word." I stated, seeing the silent question hidden behind the endless pools of blues, greens, and amber.

"W-Well..." He took my hand and moved aside his robes with his other hand so that he could place my hand on the middle of his chest. When he did, my eyes widened exponentially. A steady thump-thump beat pounded against my hand and it was frantic. He then moved his robes even more, revealing his core, which for some reason made my own heart stutter for a moment, but once my hand rested on his core, I felt and heard the steady wisp, whine, whisper, and hum of a soul. He let go of my hand and readjusted his robes with a shy sort of look on his face. "...that pounding you felt..."

I wasn't going to let him finish. I practically tore the top of my robe off as I slid it off my shoulders and arms. I then grabbed both of his hands and placed them in the middle of my chest and core. "I'm the same, Aziraphale!" My voice was shaky and I felt tears coming down my cheeks while his eyes widened.

He stuttered out a laugh as he looked back and forth between his hands and my face. "I...you...and we...we're...we're similar. Oh...there must be a grand reason for this!"

"I think you may be right." I told him as I let go of his hands to put my robe the rest of the way on.

"Oh! Raphael! Your cheek! It's still bleeding! Oh...I wish I knew how to heal. I'm so sorry! And when we have this very important thing in common too!"

I smiled at him, shaking my head slowly. "Don't worry about it, and you're fortunate at the moment." Before he could ask how, I hovered my own hand over my cheek, healing the cut almost instantly.

"Amazing! A-And you'll teach me?" He asked as he gently touched my cheek. At that moment, I understood why he blushed so much when I did it. It felt nice, warm, and it sent very pleasant tingles all up and down my body.

"Y-Yes. There's a lot I can teach you. We can learn from each other just as she wanted. I'm sure she did this on purpose, for a reason, like you said. We should share everything we can."

"You're right, My Dear. Let's get started."


	3. Sacrifice

Aziraphale and I were in the Garden and we were finishing up his lessons for me on basic elements when God came in. I knew more advance things to do with the elements, but the basics were actually fun. Especially light. It was bouncy, heavy, light, warm, and sometimes it could be cold. I knew how to meld it with other things and how to take it from things, but I didn't know how to make it appear or how to just simply control it and move it like I could with air, time, and fire, and I suspect that's what God came to talk about anyway. It felt nearly time to start time, but where? "Hello, Mother. How are you today?"

"I'm well, thank you, Raphael. I suppose you know why I'm here?" She asked as Aziraphale and I both stood to speak with her.

"I have a suspicion, but I can't know everything like you can, Mother." I grinned at her, but I could also feel the confusion and intrigue rolling off of Aziraphale in waves.

"I am going to create something new. I will announce it today and then after I've announced it I would like for you to come and create something important with me."

"Wait...Raphael is to...create with you?" Aziraphale whispered out in awe.

"I take it...you haven't told him?" She questioned with an amused smirk.

"I have not." I sighed out before turning to face Aziraphale, who was now staring at me wide eyed as if he would find the answers in my eyes. "You know that I'm a Seraph, right?"

"Yes, it was one of the first things you told me." He nodded with a furrowed brow.

"You know how I'm different? I'm different like you."

"Again, I know. Where are you going with this?"

"Well, there was one other thing I hadn't told you." I glanced at Mother, silently asking if it was really okay to tell him and she nodded her head reassuringly. So, with a heavy sigh, I continued, "I'm the first angel. Before Mother created all of the other angels in groups, she made me. It was just me and her, and I had so many questions. She used me to model the rest of the angels, or to at the very least figure out what she wanted all of us to look like in a way. I'm the oldest angel."

"Y-You're...really?" I nodded my head, but at this point I was looking at the floor, worried about how he might react. Time wise, we've been together for about a hundred years, but time hadn't technically started yet. I was trained in it and skilled with it, but time hadn't begun, and yet it felt like it had still frozen in this moment. "Well, that explains how intelligent you are. Oh, and it does explain your different types of powers." I snapped my head up and dropped my jaw in shock. "What?" He asked once he saw my expression.

"I...you're reaction wasn't what I expected. I thought you'd be intimidated, or that you felt like I was lying to you this entire time."

"No, I can understand why you didn't tell me. There's MILLIONS of us, and you're the first. I can't imagine how intimidating that must be FOR YOU. I still love you very much, Raphael." His words impressed me, soothed me, and made me love him that much more. I had asked God if she forced us to love each other, and she said no. She said how we chose to love each other was our choice, and I'm glad we both made this one.

"Thank you." I sighed before turning to Mother once again. "When will you announce it?"

"Very soon. If you want, you can walk with me to the assembly hall." We both nodded and followed her there.

Once we were there, we stood next to each other among the other angels. "What do you think She's going to create this time?" I heard one angel ask.

"I'm not sure." I heard Gabriel answer.

As interested as we all were, she quickly gave us her answer. Humans. Not only that, but that she would be building a place for them. An entire planet. A world. Whatever that was, and they would have dominion over it. She would guide them, but the world was there's to use as they saw fit and we were to love them. Love them more than Her. She also said they would be given power to create more humans. Aziraphale and I looked at each other, intrigued and amazed by the idea. We agreed it sounded incredibly interesting and fascinating, but just as I was about to ask him if he thought maybe we could help teach them, Samael spoke up with an unkind voice. "Love them more than you? You're giving them an entire world? What is that anyway? Whatever it is, it has to be massive with the way you worded it! Not only that, but being made in OUR image? Why not just make more angels and give them this...world...as you called it. You said they'll be wingless! How will they fly? How will they go through the clouds? How will they show they're grace, they're power, they're rank? Why make something that seems so weak? Are we not enough for you anymore? Or is it we're TOO much for you? We have power like you, not as much, by far, but we have powers, and now...you don't want creations that have powers like us anymore. You want something weaker. Not only that, but you're going to GUIDE them AND give them free will! Just how much 'in our image' will they be!?"

_**"SAMAEL! ENOUGH!" **_She shouted, and her voice was everywhere and in everything. Even in the stitches of my robes. A brilliant and blinding light was shining from her, and I could feel the wrath coming off of her. I had never felt this from her before. Other angels, yeah, when they would lose in a sparring match or in the middle of one, but not from Her. She soon calmed her light and her wrath before speaking again. "Do not question me."

"Oh-ho!" Samael sneered. "That's a lie!" He shouted, earning the gasps of everyone in the room. "We've heard other angels question you! Raphael has asked you more questions than ANY of us! Now you say we can't as soon as I point out the flaws of your soon-to-be creation!?"

"There's a difference between ASKING questions, and QUESTIONING ME and MY decisions! You could ask what it's about, you could ask what to expect, but what you do instead is question WHY I would create them, and you question my decisions, trying to convince me against it. You accuse me of not loving all of you just as I always have and you're being cruel."

"Oh, but _Mother_..." The way the word came off his tongue was horrible. It was like a vile liquid that hadn't been invented yet. "...I'm not the only one that feels this way!" There were thousands, perhaps millions of agreeing murmurs, and I could sense the sickening confidence as if it became one with the air. Pride. That's what it was, but it was the worst side of Pride. There was also Envy, Greed, and vengeful Wrath.

"I suggest to you all that you not question me." The sentence was not a mere sentence or just a mere suggestion. It was laced with warning and promise. "Go against me at your own peril. Heaven has no place for cruel angels. It has no place for those that question me and my decisions. You can be angry with me, you can be upset with me, you can even vent at me, but do not question my decision and CERTAINLY do not look down on MY creations. I will create them no matter what, but before then, I will create what I will call a universe and it will be filled with chemicals, light, matter, elements, and emotion. Raphael will help me in doing this, but the world the humans will be on...that will be all my doing. Now, I have told all of you what will happen. You are all dismissed, but heed my warning. There is no place in Heaven for Cruel angels who question and accuse me." With that, everyone left while Aziraphale and I remained. "Aziraphale, you're still here."

"Yes, Lord." He nodded his head before interlocking his hand with mine. "I didn't want to leave." We both watched as her shoulders relaxed and her smile widened into a soft relieved emotion.

"Aziraphale and I won't question you, Mother. We won't accuse you of anything either, and we find the idea of humans fascinating, but I'm curious, and of course, you don't have to answer, but...what questions ARE okay to ask?"

"Questions like that." She sighed out. "Samael...I think I put too much emotion in him. Even if they continue to question me, and I'm forced to send them somewhere else, I'll still love them. How can I not? They're my children, but...it still hurts all the same. Now, you can ask questions about what's going on, what something is, where it will be, what I would like for you to do, but never ever ask me me what my plans are, why I've done something, and never question my love for either of you no matter what may happen. As for what my plans are and why something has happened...I will not answer those, because those answers will come in time. Speaking of which...Raphael, Aziraphale, let's go create a universe!"

"W-W-Wait...me too!?" Aziraphale asked carefully, but I was ecstatic!

"Yes, you too." Mother chuckled lightly. "You've stayed by his side, and the two of you were quite literally made for each other. You are each other's halves. There are many reasons why I created both of you the way I did, but I do not think I will reveal that at this point in time. However, it IS what I need. Now, before you ask again, no, I did not in fact force you to love each other the way you do. You could've loved each other the way that Michael loves Samael, which is sibling love, or the way that Uriel had taken quite the parental shine to one of the newer angels. It was your choice, and you have chosen well. You've also both learned together just as well. Both of you now both have the same powers, and masterly so. I would like for the three of us to go and create the Universe. I will allow you to freely create just as I can, and I will give you my knowledge of creating, but only HALF of that knowledge will remain with the both of you after we've finished with the universe. Once we're done, I will have Raphael help me start time, and the Universe will begin to spin, breath, feel, and live."

"That sounds wonderful!" I jumped up and down with excitement. "Oh! I can't wait! Now I can FINALLY fashion something after the beauty in Aziraphale's eyes!"

"I...erm...wh-what?" I heard him squeak out his stutter, so I looked at him and quickly noticed how his entire face and even his ears turned red.

"Well...they ARE very beautiful." I replied matter-of-factly before turning to face Mother, who was beaming a smile at us both.

"Come, let us go." She snapped her fingers and a large black door appeared, and we all walked through.

"This is..." I started as my eyes widened with realization at where we were.

"That's correct, Raphael. This is where you were created. I did tell you way back then that this was my beginning. I meant it in every sense of the word. Here, it is infinite and massive, and empty. There is nothing in this blackness. No air, no nothing, and so...we will create many somethings." She kissed both of our foreheads and we gained the knowledge she had for the area, but we also knew that the shapes we created on our own, would be just that. Our own.

"Shall we get started, Aziraphale?" I asked as I let my wings out to their full expanse. He's seen them before and even groomed them as well, but I've never let them out to their full expanse, which caused him to gasp in astonishment.

"Y-Yes let's!" He grinned.

"Perfect!" God smiled then she held her hands out and her voice was everywhere and nowhere again as she said, "Let there be light!" All at once, at her command, several sphere's of light appeared and some in front of Aziraphale and I. "Well, are the two of you going to get started?" She asked with a slight chuckle, to which I looked to Aziraphale and he nodded his head frantically and we both began to breathe life into the light that we gently held in our hands. He wove color in the wisps of light and I twisted it while gently kissing the light, bringing forth a bright and shining sphere that floated in the palm of my hand.

He continued to work with what God decided to call a Nebula, and I focused on the sphere in my hand. It was golden with it's light, and all it was, was a golden sphere, but I felt like I could do more. I opened half of the sphere up and I hollowed it out. Then, I made another unique sphere appear. I focused what I wanted it to do. I wanted it to hold it's own, to live a very very long life and to be able to pull other spheres around it, but still keep them at a distance, almost a same distance. The smaller sphere fit well inside the bigger one, and so I closed it, and it started pulsing with light. As it was doing that, I tapped it as many times as possible, giving it hints of different shades of orange and red. I then made it a ball of infinite fire and heat. Fire and heat that won't burn me until I'm done forming it. Once I was satisfied with my work I kissed it gently, thinking, _'Provide warmth, heat, light, hope, and joy.'_ I then pushed it out away from me, using the energy I still felt in my hands to expand it until I was satisfied. Once I was finished, I felt it's warmth on me in the endless expanse of nothing. "Beautiful!" I breathed out in awe of how it started to spin on its own.

"Yes it is." God commented while she was building several stars at once. "What will you call it?"

"Hmm...Sun. I call it...The Sun."

"Excellent! I will have it be the light for Earth, which is where I'll put the humans. Go on! Keep creating! Go help Aziraphale build the Nebula he's working. It should be something you do together. I'll work on the rest of this Galaxy and the planets in it."

"Thank you!" I laughed joyfully before joining Aziraphale, who was sending out his Nebula in a very similar way that I had done with my Sun, but when I brought my hand on his shoulder, I felt us being pushed a far distance away from my Sun. I looked behind me, and I couldn't see it anymore. "You all right, Aziraphale?"

"Yes, I thought that since she said this place was infinite that I would produce color, shapes, stars, and possibly planets out here. It's amazing the knowledge she's given us, My Dear. Won't you help me?"

"Of course, Dearest." I nodded, and together we built the Universe. Every now and then, we would see God or we would go and get her approval, but eventually, after what felt like nine hundred years, we had all finished with the Universe, and the two of us met up with God once more, noticing her brilliant Galaxy in a sea full of stars. There were so many new words and weather conditions we now knew of too! It was incredible!

"There the two of you are. Now, I must confess. While we were in here, in the nothing, I had stopped time in all of Heaven. We have been here for nine hundred years in Earth time. So, the two of you have been together for a thousand years...today in fact."

"What about the others?" Aziraphale asked with a curious expression. "What about them and their mates?"

"I will tell them what I have done, and like it or not, I've already done it. It was necessary for my plans to come to fruition. I do everything for a reason. Even minor things. Now, Raphael, time has not quite started here. Will you help me?"

"Of course, Mother!" I held her hands in my own and reached within all the power I had as I reached out to feel my connection with her, and once it my power met with hers, we both felt time energy pulsing from our own bodies. I slowly separated from her and crouched down on my knees while she looked down below us, and as I shot up to stand, reaching my hands high above my head, she reached down and spun in a circle sending her energy down and out the same way I was sending mine up and out. It reached the furthest corners of the Universe, not that it had corners, but it did, and I was able to relax, but I was so tired after that. I soon found myself in Aziraphale's arms. "Alright, that took a lot out of me."

"Just curious, Lord..." Aziraphale started as he helped me sit down in the middle of space. "...how many other angels can affect time?"

"Two from each rank in my top two tiers of angels. Aziraphale, you're the only Principality that knows how to control time, and that's because Raphael taught it to you. You're the only angel in the bottom tier that can control time like Raphael can, but certainly not to his extent. However, you can stop it and resume it. The bottom tier of angels will be made aware of this, do not worry. Now, let us go back and announce what we've done."

It took about an hour to tell everyone everything, but then Samael started to cause more trouble again. "So, let me get this straight..." He began with a haughty laugh that sent shivers down my spine in the most unpleasant way. "...Raphael, the one who asks more questions than anyone else...got to help YOU create an entire UNIVERSE filled with light, life, stars, planets, Nebulae, and Galaxies!? Oh, and Aziraphale of all Principalities got to help as well? Not only that, but while they got to be together for nine hundred years, we were all stuck, frozen in time, without even being aware of it!?" He turned around to face all of the other angels and let out a loud scoff. "Do you all see what she's done!? She's picked favorites! First, I thought it was bad with the...ugh...humans...but NOW, she picks her favorite angels! How many of us will be cast aside as if we were nothing? She tells us not to question her, but then she goes and allows the loudest and most frequent questioner to help her create a Universe for her precious little humans! And when they've created their other humans, and they've dominated an entire planet, they'll likely go to the other ones to continue such things! Don't you see!? It won't be long before she gets rid of us and only keeps those she likes, and that could be anyone if something as innocent as questioning isn't allowed! Well, I for one won't stand for it! Those that won't either, follow me! I have a plan! And YES! I know she can hear me! I'm not afraid! I'm not going to be looked over! I have plenty of good talents and powers just like Raphael! If you don't want to follow, I'll ignore your cowardice for now, but once MY PLAN is seen through, I will cut you down until you don't get back up again! I will make my OWN element of fire. One that will be harmful and painful...possibly even deadly to other angels. Pray that you don't get caught in the crossfire!"

With that, he left and I counted. Fifteen million angels followed him while fifteen million angels remained. "Mother?" I asked her as I took in her expression. It was pained, heartbroken, angry, hurt, guilty, and somewhat resigned.

"Raphael, gather the angels that can heal. Aziraphale, gather the angels that can fight. Split them up into even numbers, or try your best to. It seems that Samael, who will now be known forever as Lucifer, wants a war. It will be unavoidable, but if there are as many healers as there are fighters, we may not lose that many. However!" Her voice became louder. "There is still a large chance we will lose many friends and loved ones in this war. I never ever wanted it to ever come to it. I love you all equally and I have plans for each and every one of you. So great and special plans, but Lucifer...he is blinded by jealousy, wrath, and greed. Stay vigilant and find your mate. Tell them how much you love them. I suspect the battle will begin either by the end of the day or the beginning of tomorrow. It will be a quick battle if I have anything to say, but the war will last until something is completely done on both sides, which will take a very long time, but bare with me, because I will write that into my plans as well."

"Yes, Mother." I nodded my head, feeling her sorrow as my own.

"Yes, Lord." Aziraphale replied, but there was a hint of fear in his tone. Fear that he would lose me. The worst part was, I couldn't promise him he wouldn't.

It took us both two hours to gather everyone, and once we did, it was just in time, because Lucifer started stalking towards us, and true to his word, the flaming swords had a new putrid flame attached to them. It provided no warmth, no hope, no love, and no mirth. It held a promise of death, pain, agony, heartache, and fury as the deep red, burnt orange, and black flames twisted in and out, up and down, and around the blade as if it were trying to attack the metal itself. "Hello, Lucifer. Nice to see you and the others again."

"Wish I could say the same, Brother."

"No you don't." I growled low. "You would hurt everyone here just because you're afraid of what the humans might become. What the humans might do. If God wishes them to be better than us, than why not see how they'll accomplish such a feat rather than belittle them before they even exist!?"

"I will not cease to exist for a flightless, wingless, powerless, weakling of a being! Come and join me, Raphael! You'd be excellent with us! You're powerful, strong, resourceful, intelligent, creative, and you don't even need a weapon! I've sparred with you enough times. Come on...aren't you so tired of asking questions?"

"My place is here, Lucifer." I told him as I placed a hand on Aziraphale's shoulder while we remained by Mother's side.

"Then you will remain there...on the floor...Golden blood dripping and painting the floor of the new Heaven I will create with MY angels!" There was a cry of fury, and we all started fighting. The Healers stayed with me in the very back of the fight, instructed to heal those that wore white halos now instead of gold.

The battle raged, screams were heard, fire was burned into skin, golden blood was spilled everywhere, pleas were heard, but unanswered, the ringing of blades sounded throughout Heaven, and soon I saw Lucifer head towards Aziraphale. I've seen what his blade can do. No one has gotten up from it, and the healers have said it completely destroyed an angel's grace, and now he was heading for Aziraphale. I couldn't let that happen so I jumped in front of my mate, allowing the blade to pierce my grace while I wrapped my wings and arms around him. "Raphael! No!" He cried out as he held me up. "Wh-Why!?"

"That's a foolish question, Dearest." I chuckled darkly. "I love you. That's why."

_**"ENOUGH!"**_ God's sorrowful and mournful voice crackled throughout all of Heaven like the lightning and thunder she has yet to create, but I still knew of it. _**"As the battle raged I have created a place for the cruel and traitorous angels! You will not know my love. Will not know my light. You will not know of my gentleness. You will not know my voice. You will not know my touch! All you will know is pain, fire, blood, and you will receive the injuries you have inflicted on your fellow angels TEN FOLD! I cast all of you who have betrayed me...OUT and into the abyss of boiling sulfur called Hell! Holy things will harm you forever more or until I decide to end it, but that is not likely as it is now! BEGONE!" **_Once they all vanished, her voice became soft, kind, gentle, but still filled with such sorrow. "My sweet angels that have fallen in battle while fighting for me and on my side, I cannot recreate you, because this battle will be ingrained in your grace, and I cannot bare for you to live that pain, to live knowing that this happened. There are only ten of you that can hear me as of this moment, and I am sorry. I am so so sorry. I will make you stars in my Universe that way you can still ever shine. There will be millions of new stars for my sweet fallen angels."

"N-No!" Aziraphale's voice croaked as he held me in his lap, clawing at the blood that was dripping from the space that laid between my heart and soul. Where my grace was. Where Lucifer's blade pierced me all the way through. "I don't want him to be a star! I want him here with me! No! It was supposed to be me! Lucifer was coming for me! I-"

"Shh..." I told him as I held up my hand to his cheek. "...it'll be all right. The stars she said, Dearest. We created them. We twirled, laughed, and played among them as we created life, light, and color, my angel...my Principality. I'll be there, and now you'll have even more of a reason to look up and admire what we did together with God."

"B-B-But...i-it won't be the same! It'll hurt! I...I can't!"

"You can. Please, Aziraphale..." I whispered out as I felt my grace beginning to thin. "...live as you would've if I was just among the stars physically creating more, or as if I was busy. So...so...busy. Please. Don't live as if I died. I won't be dead if I'm among our stars. You know...perhaps...perhaps I can be in the stars that you and I accidentally created together when we bumped into each other. Alpha Centauri I think God called it. Perhaps...perhaps you can teach the humans its name."

"I-I will. Please don't leave me! I...don't know...without you, I don't know how I'll..."

"Yes, you do, and I'm afraid...you don't have much of a choice...I love you." I felt my grace slip away as my eyes closed without my say so, and soon all I knew was...nothing.


	4. The SECOND First Meeting

When I woke up, the first thing I noticed was that I woke up at all and that I was most definitely not a star. I was also in Mother's bedroom. My senses slowly started to come back and as they did, I also noticed that there was a hand slowly petting my hair and my head was in someone's lap. "Mother?" My hoarse voice questioned.

"Yes, Raphael?"

"I...I'm not a star."

"What an astute observation!" She sighed out with a broken laugh.

"Why would you make the others become stars, but not me?"

"Because, my sweet boy...you also have a heart and soul, and I was able to reform your grace safely AND keep your sanity in tact. If I had tried it with the others...they would've only been far more miserable than those in Hell."

"Mother...you're petting my hair."

"Are we going to just point out things that you notice so plainly?"

"And you're rather tetchy."

"And you're rather mouthy." She replied with a stuttering breath.

"I'm not going to be staying in Heaven...am I? You're trying not to cry, but you said you were able to heal me...which can only mean that I'm not staying in Heaven anymore."

"Oh..." She finally broke and began to sob, her hand leaving my hair, allowing me to quickly sit up. Well, as quickly as I could. I looked down where the blade pierced me, realizing my robes were drooped at my hips, and there was golden snake spiraling around my torso that wasn't there before, and come to think of it, neither was the animal snake...in my mind. The wound was scarred a brilliant silver and gold, revealing a nasty burning scar, but I ignored that for now as I moved to wrap my arms around her, allowing her to let out anything she needed to. She just lost ten million of her children basically, leaving only ten million in Heave and ten million in Hell. "...my sweet boy. My sweet Raphael. Sometimes I wonder why I made you one of the wisest. Yes, you're correct." She said as she patted my arm, silently telling me to let go, so I did and moved to a sitting position.

"What about Aziraphale? Does he know I'm alive?"

"No, and I've altered your appearance just slightly. Your eyes, weight, and wings are different. You're thinner than you once were, your hair is a bit shorter, and there's more ringlets. You also have a mark I've personally given you that wraps around your torso, and another snake mark on the side of your head. The mark that was originally on your chest is the one I've moved to the side of your head and it is now black. The golden mark will protect you SOME Holy things. However, they will ALL still do immense damage to you, so be careful when they come about. You'll also have the ability to change into a snake and change back again at will with the golden mark. However, to do that...I also had to add something to your soul...which as a result...changed your eyes into yellow serpentine colors. You have the eyes of a snake."

"W-Will I ever see Aziraphale again?" I stuttered out, noticing my voice was rougher and deeper.

"Yes, but he will not recognize you and he will still be grieving a great deal. However, he'll try and not show it. Now, even with the other angels and demons, they all still remember who they were mated with, because I think it's important to remember how fragile and important something can be and how quickly it can be taken for granted if not cared for properly. I made Hell in a bit of a rush, and I must know how it functions from time to time under Lucifer's rule, because now...they see him as their Lord. Not me. I will send you. When you go, I will make it to where they think that you were one of the strongest fighters. I don't like manipulating the mind, but it's necessary for you to be able to be there. Don't worry, no one will recognize you, but...Aziraphale's connection to you...was severed. That being said, you'll still be able to sense him and sense his feelings. Now, you're going to have to do your best to be a demon, despite your grace only being partially twisted. Just enough to be a demon. You'll be like the rest of them. You'll be unforgivable, hated, despised, looked down on, and many other horrible things that I cannot change, but you're alive and you'll see Aziraphale again. I promise. Your new name is Crawley, now..." She waved her hand, redressing me, but this time I was in black robes and I was missing two sets of wings. She then waved it again, making a staircase appear and nodded her head to it.

"Right...I'm just gonna...saunter down?"

"If you like." She chuckled sadly. "I'm so sorry, my sweet boy."

"I'll see Aziraphale again. That's all that matters. I'll be able to protect him properly from the other demons." Without looking back, I walked down the stair case, but quickly fell down my face in almost the blink of an eye. I got up as fast as I could and noticed that no other demons were around to see that, but I could feel where they all were.

I walked towards the other demons and was met face to face with Lucifer himself. He was once beautiful, but now, he was a red hideous monster with, instead of a crown of jewels, a crown of horns. His eyes black as the nothing I had created in, and his skin as red as my hair, but a fiercer shade as well. His wings that once span a lengthy way across and up and down were now featherless and nothing but skin and bones. "AH! If it isn't the fiercest demon from battle! Oh, I watched you a great deal, but I can't fathom how you ended up without any injuries. We were cursed to have injuries ten fold of what we received. Tell us...what is your great injury."

_'Time to be a demon.'_ I smirked as I looked around the room, exuding confidence as far as they were concerned. "Oh, apparently I was so terrible and so great in the battle that she COULDN'T merely reduce me to injuries and wounds. No, like you, Lord Lucifer, I also have a different form. A curse really as you can tell by my eyes and this mark on the side of my head. I could show it to you if you'd like."

"Oh, yes!" He growled out with a wicked smile, which soon had the entirety of Hell in an anticipatory uproar.

"Of course, My Lord." I gave a dramatic bow before focusing on becoming the creature that she planted in my mind. There were so many species of it that haven't even been made yet, so I picked the biggest most frightening one I could find in my mind, and I made myself bigger than that. I turned into an extremely large black snake with a crimson belly to match my hair, and I was so large that the other demons had to hastily get out of the way so I wouldn't smash them into walls or squish them under my large belly. "Thissss isss my punissshment. I acccept it gladly, becausssse it further provessss how devoted I wasss to sssshhhowing her that sssshhhe could not expect ussss to jussst not asssk quessstions! Essspecially when that fool Raphael wasss allowed to! It ssssickensss me! Oh, but my Lord, I have an idea if you're willing to lissssten."

"Turn back into your normal demonic form." He grinned wickedly. "You've pleased me. I will hear you out."

I did as he asked and cracked my neck as well as my back before continuing. "I could go top side, My Lord, considering that I don't have any other deformities other than my eyes, and I can lead her humans astray. Prove to her that she was mistaken in creating them, and even if they do create more humans, we can further prove her more and more wrong. It will surely damage her oh so holy heart. I could keep an eye on things on Earth. I could be your most trusted demon on Earth and I could report back to you every week or every month with what the humans have learned, done, and when they become too numerous, I can always tempt them into what God apparently has deemed deadly sins. What better way to prove how wrong she is than to secure souls for you? They would belong to you, My Lord."

"You are a very intelligent beast! Yes! That is what shall be done! What is your name, Demon?"

"Crawley, My Lord." I bowed with a hand over my heart.

"Excellent! When the time is right, I want you to go up there and stir up some trouble. After that, keep a close eye on her...humans."

"As you wish, My Lord."

Many days later, I did just that, God sped up Eve's pregnancy, I met with Aziraphale again, he didn't recognize me, and I learned that he gave away his flaming sword to the humans. Now, he was standing next to me, a demon he didn't know, shielding me from the rain. "How do you think they'll do?" He asked me and I let out a small sigh.

"Not sure, Angel. I'm meant to be up here with them, tempting them in every way possible, causing trouble, but..."

"...but?" He asked as he blinked several times at me.

"But..." I breathed out before turning to look completely at him rather than just the side glance I was giving him as the storm continued. "...I might be the only demon down there that actually _likes_ the humans."

"Wait...then why did you join Lucifer?"

"Ah, what sort of demon would I be if I told an angel all of my secrets?" I smirked at him before looking out to the horizon. "Seems like the rain's coming down harder. We should take shelter, and although I have no doubt in the strength of your wing, I can tell it's becoming a bit strained from the weight of the rain. Come, there's a cave behind a waterfall down there."

"Why should I follow a demon?" He questioned with a furrowed brow as if I just suggest he blow up one of our stars.

"Why should you shield one from the first ever thunderstorm on Earth?" I replied as I crossed my arms with a small smirk. It hurt that he didn't recognize me, but in a way it felt like I was being allowed to fall in love with him all over again. The 'fall' word being a bit literal this time apparently. "Why would an angel, the very angel that was to be guarding the Eastern Gate of Eden give away his flaming sword? Why would you not smite me? You're a Principality. It's well within your power to do so, flaming sword or no." I waited for his answer, and knew very well that it was probably NOT the best idea to agitate my grieving angel, but I'm a demon. I'm built to agitate now. Especially angels.

He seemed to struggle for an explanation and I couldn't help but laugh. "Now that's rather rude!"

"Oh, but it's not. Not in the grand scheme of things."

"You're a demon. You went AGAINST the grand scheme of things."

"Hmm..." I hummed not saying one way or another. "...now about seeking shelter?"

"Yes...I will follow you."

"Good." I grinned, allowing my wings to take their new full length just before diving down into the Garden. Almost immediately I heard him following me, and it almost felt like old times. The two of us flying high above a Garden without a care in the world, but it wasn't the case when one of us was burdened with the knowledge that I'm alive and there's no need for him to mourn, because I could tell by the lines on his faces on the wall that he was mourning for a lot more than the loss of Adam and Eve.

Once we made it into the cave, I flapped my wings a few times, shaking the water off, but there was still a great deal of it in my wings. The same was able to be said for Aziraphale once he came in right after me. "Oh my...my wings feel so heavy!"

"That's what happens when you've held one wing up, allowed both to get soaked, and then fly in the downpour. Sit down a moment, angel, and I'll start us a fire to get us both warm, because despite how much I'm sure you'll want to deny it, you're cold. Earth's atmosphere, chemicals, and air are far different from Heaven or Hell, and if we're here, we're forced to abide by Earth's rules, which means..."

"I'm cold." He nodded as he clutched his arms, shivering ever so slightly.

"I'll be right back. I'll go get some wood, dry it off, then start the fire." It didn't take long and I did exactly that. At most, it probably took me thirty minutes, but in that time, Aziraphale seemed to be shivering more and more. I sat against the cave wall, a safe distance from the fire, and spread my legs, patting in between them on the floor to signal for him to sit there. "Come and sit, and I'll set your wings straight."

"NO!" I winced at the reaction, which he apparently immediately felt bad for if the slight grimace on his face was anything to go by. "S-Sorry, it's just...did you really forget how...intimate...grooming another's wings can be?"

"I haven't forgotten a shred of Heaven, Angel." I sighed out. "Now come on. You really do need your wings fixed. It won't do for you to go back to Heaven with heavy, soaked, and unkempt wings, now would it?"

"I-I suppose you're right." He stuttered out before sitting down where I told him.

"Where would you like for me to get started?"

"The...the top please, and work your way down." Well, that was interesting. Usually he always wanted me to work my way up then down again, but I did as he asked, gently raking my fingers through his feathers, which surprisingly earned a familiar noise that I would usually only hear in my bedroom when I would be grooming his wings. We hadn't done anything like what Adam and Eve did in order for her to get pregnant, but the sounds of pleasure were quite similar.

"Do you want me to stop?"

"N-No." He breathed out shakily, and a part of me had the funniest and strangest feeling. I was getting jealous of myself. He was still making these noises that only I was able to draw out...but it was STILL only I that could draw them out. It was strange and ironic, but mostly, I found it funny. Either way, I continued my work on his left wing, where I had just gotten started. "C-Can I ask you a question?"

"I thought that's how angels fell." I muttered as I moved a particularly stubborn feather back into place, gaining a light whimper from him.

"I-It's not questioning God or Her plans, so it should be okay."

"Then ask away, Angel."

"R-Right, um..."

"Wait, before you ask...there's a few feathers that need to be pulled out...I'm not there yet, but will you allow me to pull them out? I promise I'll do everything I can to make sure it doesn't hurt. I remember when my mate would pull out my feathers. It stung and it was a sharp pain, but he was careful and showed me how to be careful."

"For a demon...you're awfully nice."

"Nah, just plan awful I'm afraid. I did just get Adam and Eve kicked out of the Garden. So, what's the question?"

"Your mate...did they fall with you?"

"They did not, nor would I want them to. You still didn't say if it was okay to pull the feathers out."

"It's fine as long as you keep your word about being careful."

"You can always trust my word with you, Angel."

"For some reason I believe you." He chuckled lightly. "Why wouldn't you want them to fall? Wouldn't you want them to be with you and Lucifer?"

"Not in the slightest. I lost many things in my fall, Angel. More than you can imagine. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Besides, I'm more...mischievous than demonic. What they do down there...with their...experiments on each other...well, I'm glad to be stationed up here for the rest of eternity."

"What were they like? Your mate, I mean."

"He was..." I paused for a moment to breathe in a shaky breath before letting out a stuttering one. "...incredible. I learned a lot from him and he learned a lot from me. I still have a great deal of my powers from Heaven, which, I should consider myself lucky I suppose, but he was beautiful, witty, intelligent, endlessly kind, persistent, determined, stubborn beyond belief, and...he was my Best Friend in all of Heaven. Even after I've fallen...he'll still be my mate, but...I feel as if I could still love. If anything...more freely now. Besides, I'm not sure they'd want me as a mate right now. You know...me being a demon and all. "

"Do you still love them?"

"Demons aren't capable of love, Angel." I shook my head as I gently tugged a feather out.

"Th-That's not what I asked." He huffed out from the slight sting of a crooked feather being pulled out. "I asked do YOU still love them. Not 'could a DEMON still love?'."

"Why would I be any different?" I smirked as I stopped for a moment, my curiosity piqued.

"Oh, I don't know...you knew that I could smite you without a sword and you still slithered up the wall, you spoke with me as if we were equals and you were consoling me about my decision. Then, before either of us knew it, we were having a civilized conversation and now you're being so gentle with my wings. An angel's wings. Something you and your kind sought to destroy before your fall. Something tells me you're vastly different in more ways than just being more mischievous rather than demonic."

"Well, you'd be right." I laughed in disbelief. "You've certainly got me pegged, but I'm not about to tell you everything about me. We have the rest of time. What fun would it be if I let you know everything about me?"

"Just tell me that, then. At least about your mate, anyway."

I continued my work on his wing, tugging feathers when they needed to be tugged out, and straightened the ones that needed it the most. After a while, and after I was finished with this wing, I finally answered him as I began working on the other wing. "Yes, I do, and before you ask...as far as I know, there are only about a hundred demons out of ten million that can still feel any semblance of love. I'm one of them apparently, but having such an ability of emotion is highly frowned upon in Hell. Anything GOOD is frowned upon. Even smiling, which is why most everything is frowned upon."

At my attempt at a joke, Aziraphale actually snorted a laugh, which lifted my heart to the stars once again. "You're funny."

"At least someone thinks so."

"Did your mate think so?"

"You know...I think he did, but I'm not entirely sure. Either way, this is a new beginning. I can't think about my old life anymore. Besides, right now I'm focused on you at the moment. Any other questions, Angel?"

"Well, I do believe I should tell you my name. My name is Aziraphale."

"What a unique name." I hummed lightly as I carded my fingers through his feathers. The right one wasn't as bad, because he hadn't held the right one over me. "May I ask...what happened to _your_ mate?"

"He um..." His shoulders immediately sagged in immense sorrow, making me feel instantly guilty for asking a question I knew the full answer to. "...he died. He was brave, true, loyal, faithful, and just to the very end, but he um...he died protecting me from Lucifer's blade. He took it instead and that's when they were all cast...that's when all of you...were casted out of Heaven."

"Has God said anything about the bonds and mates?"

"Actually, yes! She said that those that were separated during the battle, either by their mates becoming demons or them falling to their death in battle...that they were allowed to choose who they love after."

"You're still in mourning though." I stated as I tugged a few feathers out as gently as I could.

"I am. However, I think it'll be okay. Someday."

"Well..." I started as I finished with the last feathers at the bottom. "...I look forward to the day when you can smile as much as you may have when your mate was alive." After tugging the last feathers I patted the middle of his shoulders softly. "There. All done."

He swiftly turned around and oh...the fire behind him made him look radiant, forcing me to me to swallow a lump in my throat. "Oh, you must let me return the favor. Let me groom your wings as well."

I rose an eyebrow at him as my lips didn't do what they were told, and smiled despite me trying to force it to NOT do that. "Coming from the angel that said it was very intimate?" I challenged, but he only smiled a bit more at me.

"Oh, but you were so kind and gentle-"

"That's another thing..." I quickly interrupted him. "...you can't be calling me...nice and good things. It never ends well when a demon is caught being nice, pleasant, or even good."

"Yes, well, either way...oh...unless you think your mate would be upset..."

"I highly doubt my mate would be upset. Don't ask why, but I know they wouldn't be upset."

He nodded his head. "All right...then may I?"

I let out a sigh and nodded my head. I moved into the same position I had him in, but in opposite roles. Once his fingers went through my feathers, I couldn't hold back the groan that left my lips, and for a moment...for a blessed moment so far...it was like I had never fallen at all. I also knew in that moment, that becoming a demon makes you rather touch starved, which could turn out to be a bad thing for BOTH of us. I guess we would have to see how this turns out once we separate again. It should definitely be interesting.


	5. Nova and Tana

"Aziraphale, we have to do something!" I growled out as the rain was coming down on us harder than the first thunderstorm.

"Well, what would you suggest!?" He quickly and frustratingly whispered shouted.

"The kids! At least the kids! There has to be a feed storage for all of those animals! We can hide them down there. I'll do it, you get aboard the Ark and convince Noah that you will take care of the animal feed for him. You're an angel of the Lord and what not, and if I'm not meant to save ANY children, I'll be struck by lightning. Either that, or she'll let me save a few kids and THEN I'll be struck by lightning."

"Is there any scenario where you don't get struck by lightning?"

"Yeah, not doing anything in the middle of God's wrath. That means you'll be watching innocent children, who have done nothing wrong...die and drown and scream and-"

"Alright! Enough! Can you get to enough of them?" He questioned, and I couldn't help the relieved smile that appeared on my face. Also, my heart decided to take over my brain in that second as I suddenly kissed his forehead with a giddy laugh. "Even just one is enough in this downpour. Thank you, Aziraphale!" With that, I took off and searched for children, trying not to think about the completely stunned expression that appeared on Aziraphale's face. The first child I saw wasn't a child, but an infant on a piece of drift wood, likely either put there or accidentally there, since it wouldn't have been able to be there by itself. I swooped down and picked the small infant up, quickly noticing that it couldn't have been more than. Two weeks old. I miracled the water out of the small infant's lungs, gaining the sweet shrill cry of desperation, confusion, and pain. "Hold on little one! I've got you!" I flew the infant as fast as I could to the Ark while thinking, _'Please let me get the infant aboard!' _Apparently She heard me, because I could see the opening at the base of the Ark that Aziraphale had made. Well, not exactly at the base, because that was currently underwater due to how hard, heavy, fast, and dense the rain coming down was. This wasn't just a normal thunderstorm that would lead to flooding. This was a storm meant to flood in mere hours, but the opening Aziraphale made anyway was close enough to the base yet just far enough from the water that I didn't have to worry about it too much. It must've been where the animals were. Either way, I flew in and handed him the infant. "I'll be right back, I'm going to see if I can find any others." I flew out without another word and allowed the lightning to illuminate the murky water, but it did just a bit more than that for a fraction of a second, and I immediately dove down into the water to pull out a familiar young human girl that I was actually very glad I found. I pulled her out of the water and took her back to the Ark.

"Crawley, I do think that's enough! Oh! She...is she an adult!?"

"No, she's fourteen. She just looks like an adult. Trust me, she's no harm to us, or Noah's family." I held my hand over her lungs and did the same thing I did to the infant, thankfully earning her gasping and coughing up water. "There you are!" I told her as I laid her down onto the floor. "Alright, one last trip and I'll be done, okay?"

"Crawley!" I heard him gasp out, but I wasn't paying attention as I flew out of the opening and into the sky, but just as I reached a high enough height to see everything, I felt a lightning bold strike my right wing, sending me spiraling out of control and in pain into the water. When I hit the murky depths, I lost consciousness. Once I gained it back again, I was obviously back on the ark as I looked around and saw the young human girl I knew well and she was holding the infant. I looked up and realized that I was actually on my stomach, which was disorienting, because I could've sworn I was just on my back. "Sorry, Crawley, I had to turn you over just now." I heard Aziraphale's voice say with a hint of true remorse.

"Oh..." I groaned out, but that was a mistake, because all of the breath was apparently out of my body from being struck by lightning. "M-My wing..."

"I know. I wasn't going to remove your robes, but if you'll allow me, I can heal it."

"D-Don't...don't know what it'll...do to me. Y-You're...Holy. H-How did I get back to the Ark anyway?"

"Save your strength and limit your talking until you're healed." He breathed out. "I dove into the water and pulled you out, bringing you onto the Ark. Will you let me heal your wing or not?"

"I...I will, but if it...if it burns...stop. Just...why did you rescue me?" I asked closing my eyes, not wanting to allow the grateful and relieved tears to slip through.

I heard him sigh before I felt a time stopping miracle be placed on the children I saved. They were frozen in time and wouldn't hear any of what he would say, or me for that matter. "Why did you kiss my forehead on the shore?"

"I..."

"Tell me honestly."

"...I couldn't help it." I relented with a heavy sigh, quickly feeling Aziraphale's gentle healing, that surprisingly didn't burn, touch my wing. "I was so happy and r-relieved...my...well...I felt deep within me...that I was extremely happy and my...emotions took over for a moment. Sorry if it upset you."

"It didn't upset me. I...It may sound strange, but...I actually quite liked it. It...seemed to soothe my anxiety like you did on the wall."

"You..." My heart pounded like the thunder outside at his words and that self jealousy was back again. _'Oh, Aziraphale, if you only knew!'_ I couldn't help but think as he continued to heal my wing. "...but I'm a demon..."

"Truly? My, if you hadn't have told me, I wouldn't have guessed."

I couldn't help the bout of laughter that left me despite it hurting to do so. "...Ow! Okay...who taught you sarcasm?"

"I believe that's something I've learned from you. We've seen each other off and on through the years, haven't we?"

"We have, but I don't think I actually sat you down and said, 'Hey, Aziraphale, how about I teach you the skills of sarcasm?' Yeah, I don't think I did that."

"You didn't, but I decided to learn anyway. It took a while, but I realized there's a certain tone one MUST use when applying the falsity of ones sentence in order for it to be recognized as sarcasm. Otherwise, it's just lying."

I rolled my eyes as I let out a huff of a laugh. "Nothing get's past you, Angel." At my words, I felt his hand and his healing abruptly stop. "What's wrong? Why'd you stop?"

"You...you called me Angel."

"Yeah...and?" I asked as I turned my head to look at him with a furrowed brow, ignoring how it sent a searing pain into my shoulder blade.

"It...It was the WAY you said it."

_'SHIT! I said it like I said the word, 'Dearest' didn't I!?'_ I cleared my throat and shook my head. "What do you mean?"

"I...well...it was a similar way to how...my mate called me a fond name. It's silly and rude of me, I'm sorry."

"It's not rude, Aziraphale." I sighed as I turned back to where I was supposed to be. "You miss him. You loved him a lot. It's not rude to do either of those things."

"Yes, but to find another thing you have in common with him...it's like I'm comparing and I shouldn't do that. I don't know why I'm doing that. It's...strange and unprecedented."

"Wait...ANOTHER thing?"

"Of course you caught that." He huffed out a breath of agitated air before finishing up the healing on my wing and added some healing on my shoulder blade just for good measure. Once he was done, I sat up and looked at him patiently. When he seemed to realize that I wasn't going to budge off of his apparent mishap of words, he let out a resigned huff of air and nodded his head in defeat. "You're like him in many ways. It's almost uncanny, really. The way you took care of my wings back in Eden for a start. Then, there's the way you fly, the way you look at things as if you're analyzing them from their core components, but it doesn't take you more than five seconds. You're similar in the ways that you heal, because I remember that some time after we left the Garden, I had gotten injured, but you healed my leg. I've seen how you teach the humans, which was with nearly the same amount of patience that Raphael taught me with. It's strange, but I suppose not EVERYTHING could be unique to each angel. Oh, and I also know that you can affect time! So, that must mean that you were an important angel in whatever rank you were a part of...but yes...those are how you're similar."

_'More than you know, Angel.'_ I rolled my eyes, unable to hide my smile, and I snapped my fingers to unfreeze them. "So, Tana, do you know this child?"

"I do." She nodded, obviously completely oblivious to the halt in time that happened to her, but that was common. "I also don't. She wasn't born long ago at all, but as far as I know, she wasn't given a name."

"Was her father like one of us?" I asked carefully as I looked at the small babe in her arms. When she slowly nodded her head I groaned as I placed a hand over my eyes and slid it down my face. "Right. Of course."

"Crawley..." Tana started hesitantly as she guarded the infant. "...please don't toss her into the water."

"WHAT!?" I whisper shouted, because if I had really shouted then the 'hiding' part of my plan would be completely ruined.

"It's just...when the villagers would discover that the child didn't have a um...human...father...they would um...get rid of it."

"I thought you said you knew this human." Aziraphale said with a concerned air about him.

"I do, but I only bother to get to know the children unless I'm sent to tempt adults. The children can sometimes help me with my job in the most cunning of ways since children are ALWAYS honest. Sometimes more than you want...but..." I turned back to her and furrowed my brow. "...how come you never told me this?"

"We were told not to tell you, since you were obviously not human...what with your eyes and the one time some adults caught you healing a woman that was injured, because some horrible men that tried to...well...anyway...we were told not to."

"I understand why the OTHERS didn't, but why didn't YOU?"

Aziraphale tapped my shoulder, gaining my attention once again. "I'm sorry, but what does it matter that she specifically didn't tell you?"

"Because he's been raising me as if I were his." She stated and I cringed. "I'm completely mortal, but I was still abandoned completely. I don't know a whole lot about it, because I was a day old when he found me, apparently, but I was left in the wild far from the village. He found me...named me...and raised me."

I looked at Aziraphale's face to gauge a reaction, but what I saw there was not what I expected. What I HAD expected was disgust, disapproval, disdain, confusion...anything negative really, but what I FOUND was entirely different. It was shock, astonishment, awe, and almost...adoration, but that couldn't be right so I just shoved that one away for later. "You...You became a father?"

"I um..." I looked at Tana, who then smiled at me while nodding her head. "...yeah. I did." I chuckled out fondly. "And now..." I said as I took in a deep breath and let one out before taking the infant from her, cradling it in my arms just like I did with her fourteen years ago. "...it seems I am again."

"Crawley...you can't be serious!"

"Why not?" I asked him as I looked down at the infant. "If I raise her right, she could use whatever powers she has for good. I wouldn't want her to be a demon like me. Wouldn't wish this on anyone. Besides, it's not like I can give her to anyone else, and if Heaven saw YOU with a Nephilim, you'd instantly either be met with fire, or you'd be Hell's newest resident, and I'm not going to allow either of those things. So, if you want her...dealt with...you'll have to take her from me." I glared at him, my blood boiling, my heart thundering, my soul spinning out of control, and my grace daring him to just go ahead and try. Him being my mate or no, this is an infant, and she hasn't done anything wrong yet.

He seemed to contemplate it for a while, and the fact he had to think about it caused an ache in my chest that I wouldn't have been able to imagine if I tried, but somehow, I knew, that it wouldn't be the first time an ache like this would happen. After about a full minute, he finally seemed to relent with sagging shoulders and a long exhale of air. "What's her name?" He asked with a small smile as he continued to look down at the small infant.

"Are you serious?" My jaw dropped and all of the ache, the pounding, the silent rage inside me instantly died as it bursted into something...grateful.

"Of course!" He nodded his head as he looked at the infant in my arms. "You know I don't condone killing of any kind. She's small, innocent, and as long as you raise her to be good and keep her away from Hell and other demons, then I see no issue with it personally."

"I'll take it." I chuckled fondly as I looked down at the now sleeping infant. "So...you need a good name. A strong but beautiful name. How about...Nova?"

"That sounds beautiful!" Tana exclaimed as she grinned from ear to ear. "Does this mean I have a little sister?"

"Yes it does." I smiled at her, and watched as she started to silently cheer while bouncing up and down.

"Crawley...that's awfully...nice of you." The, 'Are you well?' or 'But...you're a demon.' or 'What are you playing at?' All went silently unsaid at the same exact time.

"I'm not nice, Angel. I'm a demon."

"I don't know, Father. First you adopted me, and now you adopt a Nephilim. A being that could get you in a lot of trouble from both Heaven AND Hell, but you're doing so anyway, because she has no one else. That seems awfully nice to me."

"_Father_..." I trailed off as my heart made a delighted thud against my chest. She had never called me that before today. "...I like that, but rest assured...! I am still a vicious, evil, mischievous demon! Nothing Holy about me! Straight from Hell! I tempted Adam and Eve, and this is me being selfish! My own little fledglings! Well...one is a bit more literal, but...the two of you are mine. No one else's!"

"What ever you say." Tana shook her head, but there was a smile there.

"So, Crawley, the great and powerful tempter. The first tempter..." Aziraphale started with a highly amused grin, that I decided I very much liked, but not when it was practically mocking me. It's not my fault I can still love and care! It's HER'S! "...what will you do when she learns how to fly?"

"Oh, someone help me!" I groaned, not wanting to even think about that.

"What does it mean when an angel learns how to fly?" Tana asked with sweet curiosity, because that's how she asked most things.

"Well, Tana..." Aziraphale started. "...Angels weren't created like humans are. Like you know them to-Um...Crawley...did you um...talk to her about..."

"Yes, she knows about the blessed birds and the bees angel." I rolled my eyes, forcing the embarrassed flush back from whence it came.

"Oh, good." He nodded matter-of-factly. "Well, Angels aren't created like that. We were just...made. All adult and grown up and with lots of questions, but only the right questions at first, like who we are, what we are, and what we're supposed to do. We're created...knowing how to walk, but not knowing how to fly. When an angel learns how to fly, it's quite similar to humans learning to walk. Once they get going, they never quite stop and they get faster and faster, testing their limits, but as you can imagine, a fledgling flying, is quite different from an ANGEL flying. A fledgling is a baby angel, or in this case a baby Nephilim. Human and Angel. She'll be I assume from what I've seen and heard...about five when her wings suddenly appear, about eight when she learns how to put them away, about fifteen when she starts her first molting, and about eighteen when she finally learns how to fly."

"How did you learn all of that?" I asked him with a furrowed brow.

"Heaven kept an eye on all of the Nephilim until they grew to be adults. Their progress was written down and passed down to every angel that visited Earth."

"How old do they get?" Tana wondered as she got on her knees in front of me.

"Well..." Aziraphale drawled out with a tilt of his head back and forth. "...that rather depends really. She could technically live for...well...forever. Like Crawley and I. However, since she's part angel, Hellfire can still harm her, permanently scar her, even, and because she's part human, she can still permanently die by human means. Head cutting off, stabbing, drowning, anything really...but if nothing physical happens to her...she could live forever. Ageless. She'll likely stop aging around mid to late twenties due to being a Nephilim, and she'll be able to change her appearance however she wishes once she has the mind to do so. Her powers will also be different from a normal angel of any rank and a normal demon of any rank. So...what she's able to do is quite up in the air at the moment."

"Wow! That's incredible! Do you think she'll tell stories about me when I'm gone?" Tana beamed a brilliant smile, which honestly, wasn't the reaction I thought she would have to that.

"I'll make sure of it, Tana." I reassured her. "Now, she's asleep and so should you be. Go find a comfortable feed bag and-" She looked up at me, making her eyes all big and glossy, and she stuck out her bottom lip, quivering it ever so slightly, clasping her hands together under her chin as if she were praying, and I just...I couldn't say no! Why could I NEVER say no to that look!? I groaned and nodded my head before shuffling to the wall of the Ark, letting my wings unfurl, and with a happy squeak she quickly shuffled over to my left wing and curled up in the mass of feathers.

"Goodnight, Father."

"Goodnight, my little manipulator!" With a giggle she closed her eyes and I waved a miracle over her, making her go to sleep instantly like I usually did during stormy nights.

"Crawley..." Aziraphale whispered with so many emotions in his voice it was difficult to pinpoint which one he was feeling the most of. "...you have two daughters." At that moment, I caught the awed tone. "One is a Nephilim..." There in that simple sentence was fear and concern, but why fear, I had no idea. It's not as if he really knew who I was. "...and the other is a human..." That sentence held sympathy, which was likely due to the fact that compared to me, Aziraphale, and Nova...Tana's life was relatively short. "...what are you going to do?" Ah, and the sentence that had an underlining sentence that always came from him in concern that never should, considering I'm a demon and he's an angle. It was hidden with, 'Is there anything I can do to help?' And really, it was so like him. Even when we were in Heaven, but we're not, and he's not offering that to the me that he loved so much, but to the me that he knows as a nefarious demon, who got Adam and Eve kicked out of the Garden.

"I'm going to do the best I can. I know what it's like to start off with nothing, and they've both started out that way. Whenever Nova becomes of age to learn how to fly, we'll have to be somewhere pretty secluded and I'll have to work my ass off to get commendation to the point where they won't be monitoring anything I do, and I'll have to hope I can get her trained in that time. Her powers...I can do at my own home that I'll build for us, and it will have wards against angels and demons alike. I'll adjust them for you, of course, but-"

"Wait! Why for me?"

"Well..." I furrowed my brow at him. "...because your my friend, or at the very least, you're kind to me. Besides, you're letting me keep her and you're not going to say anything. It would be a shame if you couldn't watch her grow too." My heart made a resounding thump, telling me that I was about to step over a line so I backed off a bit. "Besides, who's going to teach her how to master a sword for self defense?"

"I gave my sword away, Crawley." He rolled his eyes with an agitated huff, and I couldn't help but laugh at it.

"I'll make you a new one. I know a little bit about making things."

"How would you know if I was any good with a sword, if the moment you met me I didn't have one?"

"I remember Heaven. I think I've told you this. I remember watching you spar. You're better than me, that's for certain." I scoffed a laugh. "Teach her how to handle a blade of any size, and she can at the very least defend herself against humans. I'll teach her how to defend herself with her powers if and ONLY if there is no other choice. Other than that, I'll show her minor miracles that can go easily unnoticed. Since she isn't entirely of Heaven, her powers and miracles won't be recorded."

"That's true. Alright. I'll visit every now and then, but how will I find you?" He started fiddling with his ring nervously, and I just let out a heavy sigh as I shook my head. "Don't worry about that. I'll find you. I can always find you. You're the only angel that STAYS on Earth, and the first angel to be kind to me as a demon."

He looked as if he was about to disagree, but nodded anyway. He was silent for some time after that, but soon he cleared his throat and spoke. "Can you tell me...what were you like as an angel?"

"Angel, I won't tell you much. I won't tell you my rank, classification, my name, or my mate's name." I narrowed my eyes in sympathy, and received a nod of understanding. "All right, then." I breathed out as I looked down at Nova, who started to stir slightly, but it was apparently nothing, so I continued. "As an angel, I got along well with ALMOST everyone. There were a few or actually...there were several, who didn't like me, but that was okay. I was always a bit...um...different. Some angels felt the same way, but I sometimes felt that I felt that way the most. Anyway, I was intelligent, powerful, polite, curious, eager, and OH did I love flying! If I could, I would fly forever! The wind rushing through my feathers and my hair, the sound the trees would make as I flew past them. It was my favorite sound. Now, I just relish in the sound the wind naturally makes through the trees. Very few demons kept their wings. Most wings are either deformed or they, by choice, or by command, had them ripped off. Knowing that, I immediately hid my wings, and pretended that I didn't have any."

"You seem to look back on being an angel rather fondly for a demon."

I shrugged as gently as I could without waking Nova or Tana. "You asked what I was like. I was the kind of angel that was like, but not at the same time, I enjoyed flying, and I was always eager to learn. That's all I'm going to tell you. If I tell you more, I'm afraid you might guess who I was, and sorry, but I'm not going to let that happen. I'm like this for a reason."

"Did we know each other?"

"You knew a lot of angels, Aziraphale."

"So...we DID know each other?"

"Yes, we did. Now enough, please." I slightly begged, but I didn't care. I could put up with being jealous of myself, but remembering a life I had with Aziraphale, looking back on it, and reminiscing in it...knowing I could never have that again...I would rather fall a thousand more times before talking about a life I could never have with the very person I could never have it with ever again.

"I apologize." He looked down ashamed that he overstepped a bit.

"It's alright. I look back on it fondly, but talking about it...is different. You're the only person I can talk about it with and please don't ask why."

"Very well, I won't." He nodded. "So..." He quickly started to change the subject. "Nova and Tana. Quite strong and special names there. Will you build a big tent?"

"I'll have to. Nova will need a nest of her own, infant or no, and I know how much room Tana can take up. I'll have a garden of herbs, fruits, and vegetables, probably a few animals, a pond, a couple of trees, and they'll learn. They'll live, play, and learn, and eventually, when they're old enough, they'll love."

Aziraphale suddenly made spluttering sounds as if he couldn't believe what just came out of my mouth. "You'll...you'll let them love?"

"Of course I will. I know I'm a monster, Aziraphale, but not that much. They're humans and I have no desire to control what they do with their lives. All I ask is that I meet the person they've decided to love. I'll have to find a way to hide my eyes, and explaining to Nova what her love life might be like will be...difficult...but I'll let them. Now, I'm going to rest. I'm still worn out from getting electrocuted by God. Night, Angel."

"Goodnight, Crawley..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I've done a fanfic with Crowley having a kid before, but I just couldn't help myself! I have no regrets!


	6. Nova and Zee Zee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I. Am. Sick. I have a cold. I'm sorry if updates are slow, but I will still be writing as much as I can everyday! Also, sorry for this being a short chapter. Thank you for reading the note, and please enjoy the chapter! <3

The Ark had been a success, Tana grew up and learned to love a good strong human man that quickly noticed what my eyes looked like, asked if I was a demon, I answered honestly, and he still loved her and still accepted me, which made him more than alright in my book, so I allowed her to marry him. They now live a ways away and on his large piece of land, where I now have three grandchildren, which is nice, and it warms my heart, but as I step out of my tent and view from the front large Garden, practically in the middle of nowhere, and watch Aziraphale teach Nova how to hold a sword, my heart does more than simply warm. It melts completely. Tana is twenty now, which makes Nova six years old, and if I didn't know any better, I'd say that Aziraphale was quite taken with her, which made me feel less and less like a demon, and more and more like I was truly with my mate again. However, the lack of weight on my back that I could still feel, and the continuous need to keep an eye out for Heaven or Hell always reminded me what I really am.

Either way, the sight made my morning. So, I continued to watch as they continued to not notice me. Nova is proving to be far more advanced than any other Nephilim that was ever reported and those were Aziraphale's words, not mine. She started showing signs of powers at the age of three, which was NOT fun when I had to stop the rest of our tent from catching on fire, because she had a bad dream. Aziraphale wouldn't stop laughing, telling me it served me right to have a little Nephilim fledgling that, OF COURSE, would show her first signs of having powers by ACCIDENTALLY starting a fire, but I was not amused, by any means. I tried not to think too much about it though, and just focused on them.

"Alright, now Nova, I know it's difficult to remember, but don't worry, you'll get the hang of it. Your stance should be like this." He showed her with his own feet, and she stuck her tongue out as she looked at her own feet to mirror his own. "No, other foot, sweetie." Oh, and that was another thing, he called her nicknames, and every time I almost called him 'Dearest', but if I did that, he would DEFINITELY know who I am. Talk about testing patience and resisting temptation. I wanted to scream at him that I'm alive, I'm here, I still love you, but I couldn't, and really, as a demon, how could I ask for more? I'm not completely sure as to why she didn't just make me a full demon, or why she didn't just remake me from scratch with whole new memories, but something in me tells me that this is a part of one of her plans somehow. Which plan that could be, I have no fucking clue, but I don't think I like it much, and yet...I still get to sort of be with Aziraphale. In a human-ish way. "Right, now show me how you lunge forward." Aziraphale continued.

"Like that?" She asked with an excited expression.

"Very good, Nova! Now, just adjust your arm like this..." He said as he gently moved her arm just a bit down to the right position, but that's when he noticed me standing just outside the tent. "...ah, the snake awakens." He grinned, causing my own eyes to widen while my heart started pounding against my chest.

_'Well...that's new.'_ I thought to myself as I tried to commit that grin to memory. That was an entirely different grin, and it wasn't for Nova. It was for me. It wasn't for the Raphael me, but the Crawley me. I smiled either way and walked towards them. "Are you listening to your teacher, Nova?"

"Yes, Daddy!" She giggled. "Watch!"

Aziraphale chuckled warmly before stepping towards me, placing a hand on my shoulder while facing away from Nova so he could whisper in my ear. "She's rather proud of herself. Keep that in mind." He then turned around, taking his hand away and the warmth he had briefly put there. "Go ahead, Sweetie. Show your Father what you've learned today."

"OKAY!" She shouted as she bounced with enthusiasm, forcing me to hold in my laughter, which Aziraphale noticed if him jabbing me in the ribs with a small and dare I say it, fond smile on his face. I then watched Nova take her wooden sword and showed me how she was supposed to hold it. "This is how Zee Zee taught me how to hold it."

I snorted out a laugh, quickly covering my mouth. "Hold on..." I told her as I looked at a blushing Aziraphale, who immediately looked away from me. "...Zee Zee?" I questioned, trying and miserably failing to hide my amusement.

"I can't say his name real good, so I call him Zee Zee. He said it was okay." Nova explained with complete seriousness, making it that much more hilarious.

"Did he now?" I questioned with a calm smirk.

He let out a huff before finally turning to face me with a still embarrassed face. "Yes, I did. I thought it...well, I thought it was adorable! Now, Crawley, if _you_ start calling me that, I'll find it _far less_ adorable."

"Of course." I chuckled lightly before turning to face Nova, instructing her to show me the rest of her moves. She did, and it took great effort not to laugh at the adorable seriousness with which every attempted move was preformed, but I could tell she was learning, and she was only six years old. Once she was done, I applauded her and congratulated her. "That was very good, Nova! Now how about some lunch, huh?"

"OKAY!" She cheered as she quickly left to go put her wooden sword away while I prepared some lunch. Just some roasted vegetables, some cooked chicken and a few berries.

Once it was ready, I had Aziraphale sit down and made him a plate. "Oh, I don't think...I don't think I should." He tried to tell me when I set the plate down in front of him.

"You've never had food, Angel?"

"No, because as you know, we don't really require it." He furrowed his brow at the food in front of him and scrunched his nose a bit.

"Do me a favor, Angel, close your eyes and smell the food in front of you."

"What in the world would that accomp-"

"Just do it." I groaned in agitation, interrupting whatever he was going to say next.

He let out a frustrated huff of air, but did as I asked. I knew it worked when his eyes flew open and a gasp left his mouth, followed by a giggle from Nova. "My...that...that wonderful smell is the food?"

"Yes, and each food tastes different. Every recipe, every slight change in spice or how it's cooked makes it taste different."

"Surely, you're joking." He laughed in disbelief while all I could do was smile.

"He's not joking, Zee Zee. It's true! Here!" I watched as she ran out of the tent, apparently washed something off and came back with a freshly clean carrot. "Take a bite of this carrot and then take a bite of the carrot on your plate."

Aziraphale nodded his head and did as she politely requested. I watched in silent enjoyment as I knew he could never really say no to her either, unless it was something that affected her life. So, he took a bite of the raw carrot and started chewing. "Try and taste it, Aziraphale. Don't merely think about the action of eating. Allow your taste buds to work." I scoffed, seeing that he found nothing remarkable about the carrot. Not that there was, but the look on his face said he was tasting nothing but molecules. He seemed to do as I asked when he swallowed before taking another bite, but this time, his eyes widened in surprise.

"This is...this tastes...good!"

Nova covered her mouth, stifling a giggle, which I so loved watching her do. Such a happy little Nephilim. "It's just a carrot, Zee Zee. Try the cooked food! That has spices and extra flavor! Oh! Especially the chicken! I helped with that!"

"Alright." He nodded and did as she said. I looked at her and gave her a confident smile and a wink before looking back at Aziraphale, who definitely took a bite, because the fork was still in his mouth.

"You alright, Angel?" I asked as I started to become concern. His eyes were wide, his cheeks were red, and he hadn't moved.

He started chewing the food after slowly taking the fork out of his mouth, and once he swallowed he stared at me slack-jawed. "That's...that's food!? That's what humans eat all the time!?"

"Well, to be fair, it's only one section of food. You only tasted a raw carrot and a few cooked vegetables. There's thousands of different ways to cook different things. I learned this one from Tana and her husband. I have a feeling you're going to really enjoy food if your reactions are that intense to the littlest things."

"I think you may have accidentally introduced him to Gluttony, Daddy." Nova stated with an amused look, but that statement was anything BUT amusing, and I could tell that Aziraphale felt the same way.

"Perhaps." I nodded slowly.

"Ah, but I'll be careful. Don't worry, Nova sweetie."

"I'm not worried." She cheerfully said as she began to eat.

Meanwhile, Aziraphale and I shared a glance at each other before looking to her again. "Nova..." I started. "...why aren't you worried?"

"Because, if Zee Zee were to get in big trouble for anything it would have been when he gave his flaming sword away, or when he helped you get me and Tana onto the Ark, or even while he was showing me how to fight with a sword. If Grandma were to get really mad at Zee Zee, we would know."

"Grandma?" Aziraphale sputtered out with pure shock, and I wasn't in much better shape as my jaw was dropped and my eyes widened to an impossible size.

"Yeah, I hear Daddy call God a She, and God made Daddy, and Daddy is my Daddy, and God is his Mommy, which makes God my Grandma."

"Erm...that's not quite-" Aziraphale started, but I just held up a hand to him, shaking my head.

"If you want to call her Grandma, you can, alright?" I told her. It was a lot easier than explaining everything else to her for now.

"Okay!" She happily bounced. "Can we eat now?"

"Yes, of course!" Aziraphale nodded, letting out a relieved breath, but I was anything but relieved. I was squirming inside my own skin. There was so much Nova didn't know, there was so much that Aziraphale doesn't know, and now I almost wish I didn't know so much. I still had questions too. Why did I fall? Why couldn't she just have me observe demons as an angel? Why not just remake me? Surely it wouldn't be too difficult for an all knowing God. Why allow me to remember Heaven? Why allow me to be near Aziraphale? Why give me an entire world inside of one being, but I'm not allowed to see that world for all it has to offer? Why let me know everything that happened between me and Aziraphale, only for it to be impossible for it to happen again? So many questions, but as I watched Aziraphale sit down with Nova and I to enjoy a meal, the questions were silenced. If only for a moment.


	7. The Library Incident

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SOOOOO The Library incident will be split in multiple chapters, because if I didn't it would be WAAAAAAAAAAAY too long of a chapter! So...here's this one :) Thanks for reading and...sorry for the pain train...
> 
> CHOO CHOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nova grew into her powers, and they were interesting to say the least. She was a master swordsman thanks to Aziraphale, an Expert Healer in both the mortal way and the miraculous way, but she could also transform into an owl. I thought I was the only being that could transform like that, but apparently not. It doesn't matter what breed either. Also, if she turns into an owl, her entire aura, everything that makes her noticeably her to any other supernatural creature...vanishes. Almost as if it never existed and doesn't return until she returns to normal, which was an entire Nebula of anxiety off of my shoulders! From what I know right now, she's currently taking on Aziraphale's interest in the written word or any written word, really. She goes chasing after scrolls, learning new languages to read, write, and speak in just like him. It's almost endearing. At least it would be if either of them knew of the distant past, but the angel himself is exactly how I found myself entering the Library of Alexandria.

As I entered it, I found Aziraphale dressed in much different robes than I had last seen him in about a hundred years ago. He actually wore some added color to these. He seemed to be wearing something similar to mine, but instead of a black short sleeved robe underneath, he wore a lightly tanned one, and instead of a large charcoal gray sash that went from one shoulder, to the opposite hip, and then proceeded to droop down to his ankle while still covering the remainder of him from the waist down...his was white, but somehow...not. Probably more cream colored than anything. Either way, a spot of color looked good on him.

At the moment, he was currently scratching his cloud soft hair as he pursed his lips at whatever he was reading or working on. There were other scholars around, of course, but none seemed to pay attention to him. So, I took the initiative since he wasn't bothered at the moment. "Hello, Aziraphale." I chimed like I had once done just before the flood happened, but instead of tapping his shoulder and swiftly moving to the other side of him, I merely sat in front of him.

He immediately looked up at me with widened eyes that shined gold with the way the sunlight came through one of the upper windows, hitting him just right, and if the scholars had been paying attention, they would've noticed the faint glimmer of an actual halo, but one would have to be looking for it. "Ah! Crawley! What brings you here?"

"You do, actually." I admitted as I looked around the building. "You know, I've never been in here. I've heard Nova go on and on about this place, but I never actually visited."

"I'm surprised you're here at all." He blinked several times while I did the same, but mine was of amusement, not surprise.

"Well, if you feel that way about it, I can just go-"

"N-No! I'm sorry, I just...It's been so long since I've seen you. What um...what brings you here?" He questioned, abandoning the scroll he was working on, which honestly made me feel a bit flattered. He never put scrolls down for anyone. Not even scholars.

"Well, I'm meant to tempt a mother of twins into adultery with another man and wrath against her children. Not too far from here actually. Just a few paths around...that way." I told him as I pointed to the left side of the library. "I need you to thwart me, or at the very least I need it to appear on a report. You don't have to actually hurt me, but if I'm in the middle of tempting and it's stopped, THAT appears on the report and all I'll have to tell Hell is that you threatened me with holy wrath. I've already tempted about fifteen people in town to lust, envy, and greed, but..."

Then there was a certain knowing look that appeared in his eyes that was ALWAYS accompanied with a slight smile that tried to not be a smile. "...but this is a mother, and you can't stand to watch kids get hurt. My, that's almost nice of you." He leaned back in his chair as he interlocked his fingers, placing them on his stomach with a risen brow, the cocky bastard.

"Not nice, Angel. I'm being lazy, okay?"

"Lazy is asking me to thwart you?" He snorted out a laugh of disbelief. I rolled my eyes and just glared at him, earning a nod of understanding. "Whatever you say, Crawley. When will this happen?"

"Now, if you're not too busy. I'll take you to that new restaurant that was built not too far from here."

"I look forward to dinner." He grumbled before standing to go tell a scholar he had things to attend to for a while and that he would be back.

I took him to where we needed to be, and almost flawlessly, he stopped me in the middle of tempting her to show wrath to her crying children. Then, as she continued down the path, a rather attractive man appeared, eyeing her up and down while I gently pushed some tempting power to urge her to do the same to him, but then Aziraphale cut in, accidentally singing my right shoulder just a bit, but it was barely a cut. However, it was holy evidence that I was thwarted so that was even better. It will heal in about half a year and I only know that because I've heard other demons make 'medical' reports about it and they usually didn't lie about a 'medical' report like that. I gave him a nod as thanks and he went back to his library.

By the time he was in the library, I waited for Hastur so that I could get the report over with and take Aziraphale out to eat. "Hello, Crawley." His gravelly voice called from behind me.

I turned around and gave him a brief smile before miracling a report in my hands. "Here's everything. I've tempted fifteen people here and about ten in the other place you sent me to. It would've been a total of twenty six if I wasn't interrupted by the blasted Principality." I showed him my injury and he winced at it.

"And you got away. Impressive. How did you get away exactly?"

"Threatened him with Hellfire and he left with his tail in between in his legs." We both laughed at that. Mine was fake, but his was highly amused. He then made a red report scroll appear next to my white one, and he sent them away. We waited exactly five minutes and a swirling white and red scroll appeared in front of us. I took it, read it, and my eyes widened. "Well! A commendation! Half a year's worth!"

"You faced off against a Principality, got twenty-five temptations done, and in half the time it takes other demons. You may continue to tempt as you please and...Considering the color of the scroll, you won't be monitored for your miracles or be spied on."

"It says here it's also going back to last month when I tempted fifty people into lust."

"Sounds about right. Now, I have my own mission to attend to soon. Gonna start a fire with some Hellfire, let it stay for ten minutes like Beelzebub wants, and then I'll take it back so I can get back to Hell. Should cause a great deal of chaos and the best part is, a human will be tempted into helping! Might burn the docks, too. Not sure yet. Have fun with your commendation, Crawley." The only reason why he was acting so pleasant was because there was going to be fire involved soon, but I didn't know where, and since I didn't know where, I couldn't do anything! For right now, I was just going to go get Aziraphale and take him to dinner like I promised.

I was only about a block away when I sensed, smelled, and felt Hellfire near, and it was near the library! With a pounding heart and a shaking soul, I ran as fast as I could without my wings threatening to burst out, but once I reached the library, I wish I HAD used my wings as the heat and warmth of Hellfire was felt on my face. Now, to anyone else, it could murder, kill, and damn in a matter of seconds. For demons it was no different than basking in sunlight. Angels, however, complete and utter destruction!

Without another thought, I ran into the burning building while people were running out with burns that would never heal for as long as they live. I stopped the scholar that I saw Aziraphale talking to. "Where's Ezra Fell!?"

"He's still inside! He's trying to save the scrolls!" He coughed before yanking his arm free of me.

_'Of course he is!'_ My mind growled before I ran the rest of the way in. "Aziraphale!" I screamed at the top of my lungs once I realized that it was just a little past the ten minute mark that Hastur had mentioned and the library was engulfed in mortal flames now, but it was the Hellfire I was more concerned with. "Aziraphale! Where are you!?"

I heard coughing and shuffling so I ran to it. Once I got there, it wasn't Aziraphale, but instead it was a human trapped under a bookshelf. I moved the shelf, and they ran out of the building as fast as they could through the flames. There was more coughing, but that one sounded familiar so I went deeper into the library, not caring that my robes were getting burned in the process or that my skin was starting to feel the heat of mortal fire. Fire, as a rule, didn't do much damage to demons. Hellfire didn't do any, but mortal fire could burn us in a similar way to a human getting a sunburn and that was it. "Cr-Crawley!" I heard him rasp out finally and I was close!

I ran closer to him, hearing him continue to try my name. "I'm here! Keep talking!"

"I-It burns!"

"Shit! Keep talking! I'm almost there! Don't you die on me!" I shouted as I ran through more flames, jumped over fallen beams, and dodged collapsing wood. _'I don't want to learn what it's like to lose you! Don't make me learn that! Don't make me have to lose you before you know! I'll tell you someday! I promise! Not now, but someday! I wasn't going to tell you ever, but if you just fucking live through this, I'll tell you someday! I promise! Please! Dearest! Stay alive!'_ It was almost a frantic prayer, but thankfully it wasn't an actual one or he might've actually heard it, and then that would mean a lot more questions.

"I-I c-can't...Cr-aw-ly..." As the last syllable of my name left his lips, I found him surrounded by fire and there were burn marks on his legs as well as his arms. He also seemed to get a nasty gash on his head. I saw the satchel next to him and saw that there were miraculously twelve scrolls inside, so I put the satchel around my neck, draping it over my shoulder, and I picked Aziraphale up with one arm under his knees, and the other protectively holding his shoulders.

"I've got a place nearby, Aziraphale. Well, not _exactly_ nearby...it's in Rome, but we should be safe there." There was no answer, and the connection I had with him was wavering, so I spread my wings and burst through one of the last remaining windows, miracling us practically invisible to humans and angels alike. A trick Aziraphale taught me.

As I flew us over the waters, I looked down at him to check for any further injuries or any signs of Hellfire, but it was too difficult to tell. What I _could_ tell was that he likely had a concussion and would be out of commission for a while. "God, if you can still hear me..." Praying to her out loud felt like too much salt on my tongue with nothing to chase it away, but I wasn't going to stop. "...I'm taking Aziraphale to my home. It's in Rome, it has a large Garden, it's actually a rather large home as well, but I'm taking him there. He saved twelve scrolls from the burning library, which was caused by the Duke Demon Hastur, so perhaps he can get some commendation for that? A-And he thwarted me today...twice...same tempting...um..." The taste was getting worse, but soon I realized that it wasn't the taste of too much salt, but merely the salt water coming from my eyes, trailing into my mouth as I steadily, but swiftly continued flying us towards my home. "...just...don't take him from me. I-I don't know what I was supposed to do...entirely. You gave me a brief description...I think...but it's been so long, and I...just please. I'll do anything. Don't take him from me, God!" Trying to keep the crying to a minimum in case he woke up and saw my tears, I focused on flying. We weren't far with how fast we were going, but I still needed to focus.

Once we finally got there, I immediately rushed him to the bathing pool I had for me and my wings, and I sat him on one of the benches that was against a pillar. The pool was always filled with the purest, cleanest, and warmest water that my miracles could manage. Hell knew about it and approved it due to the fact that I said it was allowing me to indulge in the sin of Pride. To make my wings better than an angel's. Either way, I slowly and carefully removed Aziraphale's clothing that was now covered in golden blood that was his, and red blood that must've belonged to a human. Once his clothes were off, it was hard to miss that he had apparently made an effort, and I mentally kicked myself as I actually felt my own desire build. _'Focus! Bad Grace Mate!'_ I shook my head and took my own clothes off so that I could get in the bathing pool with him.

After picking him up and getting him into the water as gently as possible, I miracled a bench that would hold his back up comfortably, keep his waist and legs from slipping, and would keep most of him in the water, leaving the only part of his body out of the water being everything from the shoulders and up. With a thought, I miracled some healing herbs to the water, most of it surrounding Aziraphale, and I miracled a bunch of towels, rags, soap, a special wound cleaning liquid that Nova and I had worked on together in case Aziraphale or myself were injured since the normal mortal ones wouldn't do much, and I began to was his body first, avoiding the wounds for now.

As I gently washed his arms with the lavender soap, I had to stop my tears again, because it was physically and emotionally painful to see him like this. The connection was steady, but it was SO weak, which hurt even more. I pushed through it though, and wiped away the few drops of tears that started to fall again. "Please..." I started again as I began rinsing off his arm. "...if I was only to lose him so soon...before we barely got to know each other again...like we were in Heaven...you should've just made me a star. Don't take him from me. I'll tell him. Eventually. I...I don't know when, and I don't know how long it'll take to gather the courage to tell him I'm not dead, but...just...please. Let me help him!" I shook my head, pushing the prayer upwards as much as I could as far as it would go, willing it to somehow reach Her as I continued to wash the rest of the dirt, ash, and smudges off of him.

His legs were the most difficult part, but I got it done, then I did his back as well as I could without moving him too much. Now, it was time for the next most painful part. I had to begin to clean his wounds. They were burns, so they were extremely sensitive and if it turned out even just one of them was Hellfire...I don't know what I'll do, but I had to get his burns under control. The herbs seemed to be helping though. I looked at his burned forearm on his right and the irritation around the burn was significantly less red, and the bleeding had stopped, so there was that.

Surprisingly enough, cleaning the wounds wasn't as painful as I thought, and it went well. He even winced slightly in his apparently concussion induced sleep. I eventually got him out of the water and carried him to my room where I miracled my night clothes to be white, but all I could manage was a very light gray, due to the fact it was a demonic miracle. Once he was dressed, I treated his burns the rest of the way and bandaged all of them up as best I could with some healing salve I made for when Nova was learning some of the newer cooking recipes that the humans have come up with and she kept burning herself. I then laid him down on the bed, covered him up, and knelt at the side of it, crossing my arms, and placing my head on my arms to watch him sleep.

About thirty minutes later, I felt a warm light behind me, and if it were God, I may have been comforted a bit, but it definitely wasn't. No, this light was familiar. I shot up, spread my wings and somehow, summoned a staff into my hand that had a snake wrapping around it. It was plain, nothing real special about it except for the snake, but...it was my staff from Heaven.


	8. The Library Incident Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel decides to pay Crawley a visit.

Trying not to focus on how the _Heaven_ my staff is in my hand, I readied it against _Gabriel_, who appeared in front of me with an all too calm demeanor. "Raphael, put that away, would you?" He sighed with slight irritation and a fond smile.

"W-Wait...I...Everyone thinks I'm dead. How is it you...?" I turned my head slightly, becoming a bit skeptical, yet very confused. "Aziraphale thinks I'm dead, so how...?"

"You really think I wouldn't realize you're alive? The one other angel that I was closest to in Heaven before God assigned us our mates? You really think I wouldn't recognize a snake symbol on the side of a demon's head that once belonged on my brother's chest? Put the staff down, brother."

"I...I'm not your brother." I stuttered out. It hurt to say and I didn't want to, because before Aziraphale, I was close with Gabriel. "...not since I fell."

"You'll always be my brother. I just can't let the rest of Heaven know that I know. God knows, of course, but..." He looked past me and took in a deep breath before letting one out despite not needing it. "...it's still difficult to give Aziraphale orders for Earth, knowing he'll likely meet up with you, and I'm the only angel that knows you're alive."

"How do I know you aren't going to douse me in Holy Water or turn my pool into a Holy Water bath?" I questioned as I still stood guard with my staff at the ready.

He stepped towards me and looked me in the eyes with his violet ones. If I didn't know any better, I'd say there was a silent plea behind them. "I couldn't...wouldn't hurt you."

"You've been a right ass to Aziraphale. He's told me. You've overworked him, you've called him lazy, you've accused him of doubts, you've sent him letters telling him to not use so many miracles...I've heard a bunch."

He let out another sigh of frustration as he pinched the bridge of his nose. "Those are only because I have to."

"Oh? And why do you have to?"

"Put the damn staff down and I'll tell you." He growled with his irritation lacing every syllable.

I nodded my head and willed the staff to go back to wherever it came from. "I'm going to be honest, I don't know how I summoned it."

He shrugged his shoulders with a confused look of his own. "Don't look at me for the answer to that. You're a demon now. By that fact alone, you shouldn't even be able to TOUCH your staff from Heaven. Anyway, I have to say and do those things as a part of the ruse I have to put up. Yes, I know he's a Principality and technically above my station, but I know what he is to you. I know what he meant to you. If he kept up all the miracles, he could be spotted by a demon that is NOT you, and before he even realizes it...BOOM! Hellfire! Then, you would truly be lost. I'm not sure you would be able to survive it, to be honest. You already died for him once. I tell him to keep a hold on it, to protect him from other demons. I'm an _ass_ to him, because if the _other_ angels saw that I actually cared...the questions would be...pardon my phrasing...but it would be damning. I wouldn't have a leg to stand on. I protect him from the other angels as best I can. Sandalphon hates him, Uriel is pleasant to him...on a good day, and Michael...well...she LOOKS for faults in all angels. She lost her mate in the battle. Killed by an angel she thought was her friend, but sided with Lucifer."

"And you?" I asked as I miracled two chairs for us to sit.

When he sat down across from me, he miracled a bottle of wine and two wine glasses that were already full, handing me one of them. I took it gladly and began sipping as he spoke. "I'm...heartbroken." He admitted, which was saying something for the angel that usually kept his feelings well-guarded.

"How?"

"My mate...she fell. I believe she's the Prince of Hell."

"Beelzebub?" I blinked several times in surprise, but then I realized it made sense from when she had invited me into her room in Hell, which was surprisingly cleaner than the rest of Hell.

"Yes." He nodded his head, and I could see it. The heartache. It was the same I had at knowing that Aziraphale thought me dead. "But...she's not the only reason I'm heartbroken. I'm also heartbroken because you died. I watched you die. I watched you step in front of a blade meant for Aziraphale, and you died. I was never mad at him for not getting killed, but it hurt. Then, as an invisible observer sent by God to make sure the humans left Eden, I saw you and Aziraphale talking on the wall, and I saw the EXACT tattoo marking on the side of your head. You smiled at him and it was nearly the same. Your eyes were...haunting...but it was you. I knew it was. So...I...um...requested that I be allowed to look over all of Aziraphale's Earthly assignments since I was closest to you before the two of you became mates. God granted it, and that's how I'm here. I'm also heartbroken, because I know he doesn't know. I know that he lives every day thinking that Raphael is gone, dead, but...I think perhaps he's actually learning to love you a bit."

"WHAT!?"

Before I could blink, Gabriel practically flew to me, covering my mouth before looking at Aziraphale, who was still thankfully asleep. "You IDIOT!" He whisper shouted. "If he wakes up and sees me here, we're BOTH going to have to explain things to him that we really don't want to." He backed away and sat back in his chair with a slight groan. "Yes, you heard me. I think he may actually be beginning to love you again, but this new you instead."

"I...but...he can't. I'm...I'm a demon! I...it's not right! He...He deserves an angel! I mean...I still love him...I do..."

"I know you do. It's written in how you took care of his injuries and how you flew him out of a burning library. Actually it's also written in how the two of you took care of the Nephilim you raised. Nova."

Panic and dread washed over me like the flood I rescued her from. "P-Please...don't..." I croaked out my plea pathetically, but the thought of him taking her and burning her...it was too much to bare.

"Calm down, Raph. I'm not going to take her from you. She's actually rather sweet and calls me Uncle."

The panic and dread quickly switched to confusion and curiosity. "How do you know her?"

"Who do you think taught her how to turn into an owl?"

"B-But...you can't do it either..." I tilted my head, only falling further into the depths of confusion. "You can't transform..." He smirked at me before he held one finger up and turned himself into a dove. "You! You were the dove on the Ark! The olive branch!"

He transformed back and nodded his head. "Yes, I was. There was a third dove, and that dove was me. I watched you rescue a human and a Nephilim."

"Wait...are there others who can transform?"

"No." He smiled. "I personally asked God for this ability. I had to explain to her that I knew about you. That I knew you still lived. It was part of my request to take over Aziraphale's assignments. I would be able to watch over the both of you. So...she granted it. She said I would be allowed it as long as I didn't reveal your existence to anyone. Now, knowing what I know and how to transform, and the fact that I know that Nephilim powers are VERY flexible, I taught it to Nova. She chose an owl, which suits her well considering she's so intelligent and methodical."

"And she hasn't told me because...?"

"I asked her not to." He said simply with a shrug of his shoulders. "Now, back to Aziraphale loving you...why do you refuse to acknowledge it?"

"W-Well...he can't. I mean...he hasn't said it, he hasn't...well...I don't think I'd know if he shows it..."

"Obviously." He muttered, but I heard it anyway. "Well, then I guess you're going to have to wait for him to say it. As for him, I highly doubt that he even realizes he's started to love you. It's small, but it's there. I suppose the reason why he can't sense your love...is because it hasn't changed even after you died and then fell. He can't sense what's always been there."

"True." I sighed out as I looked at him. "So...you're not here to take him back or to smite me?"

"You're an idiot sometimes, you know that?" He raised a brow at me with an amused smirk on his face, telling me my answer. "You don't have to worry about me, but I DO still have to be an ass to him, and I have to be at least as...I don't want to say dumb...but...the other angels don't know the humans as well as the three of us do..." He made a motion indicating me, him, and Aziraphale. "...so I have to act the same. As if I don't know much despite the fact that I've been on Earth nearly as much as you and him. I'm just allowed to be missing from Heaven sometimes." The joyful smile at the mere fact of his own words was enough to tell me that Earth was basically his vacation spot, which then told me I didn't want to know what Heaven was like now.

"Okay...so...you're not here to take Aziraphale, to smite me, or to kill Nova, which I'm still a bit lost on how you know her, but I'll have you explain that later...my question now is...why ARE you here?"

"Honestly? I saw the library burn, knew Aziraphale was inside, and knew it was Hellfire. I watched you rush in and waited desperately...as a dove...before you ask how you didn't realize I was there...and I watched you rush out. I then followed you to your home from a safe distance, and I was hidden in the hallway as you treated his wounds. I heard your prayers. I can't say if God did or not. I hope she did, but I heard them, and I knew I couldn't stay in the dark anymore. You had to know I was here, and I'll continue to be." He miracled a silver upper armband into existence and showed it to me. I quickly noticed that the etching on it was written in God's own hand. There was also an instrumental horn that had Grace blue and deep violet swirling inside the small indention. "God took a piece of my grace and formed it into this bracelet. The horn is my symbol just as the snake is yours. If you wear this, I'll be able to communicate with you without having to be there in person. That way Heaven doesn't get suspicious too much, and I can stay in Heaven most of the time."

"So...you'll be...tricking the REST of Heaven. The other angels...and you'll be keeping contact with me...to do what exactly?"

"Ah, well, in order to put my grace in there, God made me make a sort of...vow or oath. She has plans for you that she won't even tell me, but She said that if I wanted to KEEP protecting you and Aziraphale and if I wanted to KEEP watching over you, Aziraphale, and...My niece...then I would have to do this. This holds my promise and my grace."

"What does the grace do?" I wondered curiously as I looked at the armband. "What was your oath?"

"I vowed to keep your identity a secret for one. She wasn't happy with me for finding out so easily. She also cried for a few days at the remembrance of you dying and how she had to send you to Hell...it was...quite the ordeal. Only I was allowed into her room, and if anyone wanted to speak to her or if she had anything to say...I was to deliver the message. Anyway, I told her that I knew, she wasn't happy, but once she calmed down...she asked me why I told her, and why I hadn't told Aziraphale or any of the others that you still live, and I told her that I figured if she wanted at the very least for Aziraphale to know...he would, but Aziraphale didn't know. She told me I was right. I then told her that I still thought of you as my brother and that I knew how much Aziraphale meant to you. I told her that I wanted to make sure the two of you remained safe and at least as happy as you could be given the circumstances. However, Aziraphale doesn't know ANY of what I'm doing. No other angel does. As I've explained."

"Gabriel..." I started with pure concern rushing through me as I looked at his symbol. "...your grace is in there. You vowed a lot more than to keep my identity a secret. What else did you make a vow or oath for? What else did you promise?"

He let out a defeated sigh as he looked down at the armband, nodding his head. "I...I vowed to keep your identity a secret from everyone including Aziraphale, I vowed to teach and protect Nova when she needed it, I vowed to protect ANY children that you and Aziraphale should have together...that is...if either one of you made the proper efforts to where ONE of you got pregnant, but that's...anyway...I um...I also vowed that I would protect you and Aziraphale at all cost without starting another war in Heaven."

"What do you mean by 'at all cost'?" I questioned with a worried tone, hoping he didn't mean what I thought he meant.

"Raphael, don't worry about it, I-"

"No, you tell me now what you meant."

"Raphael, just please-"

"That's an order!" I commanded with an aching heart.

He seemed to suck in a breath, staring at me, completely stunned. My command held no real power over him, but it has been SO long since I've ever had to say that to him. "R-Right." He nodded with a slight smile. "I-I never thought I'd hear you give an order again."

I raised a brow at him in slight confusion. "You like it when I give orders?"

"In a way. It um...shades of the angelic you come through when you do that."

"Huh...so...tell me what you meant." I ordered more calmly this time.

He nodded his head, but this time he kept eye contact. "It means I defend you through deception, betrayal, sword and shield, and even at risk of my own wings. The last one meaning I fall."

"Why would God do that to you!?"

"Because it wasn't originally in her plans for me to know who you are. It wasn't in her plans for me to ask her for an extra power, that being transformation, and it definitely wasn't in her plans for me to protect you and Aziraphale. She said she appreciates it, but something like this was a complete surprise for her and if I was to do it, I would have to face the good and bad consequences of my actions. So...do me a favor...don't get yourself killed and for God's and my sake...keep Aziraphale from getting killed! I can only do so much, and I REALLY don't want it to come to the 'at all costs' bit, so if you could just...you know...take on a major role for him, that'd be great. That way I can still focus on protecting him, but I can put my main focus...other than what God asks of me of course...on you. Now, the good thing about this armband is that it will morph into whatever piece of jewelry you want it to. A bracelet, a necklace, a ring, or even an earring and it will still maintain my symbol, but once you accept it, you can't take it off unless I take it off."

I nodded my head and thought about it. I'm a demon, Aziraphale's an angel, and if either of us were caught by either head office, it would be disastrous for both of us and I'm not ready to lose him. I don't think I'd ever be ready. Having Gabriel as a secret ally would actually be a great thing. Not to mention that Nova apparently likes him from what he's said. "Okay." I breathed out before lifting up my sleeve. "I accept. I'd be an idiot not to. I just have to ask...if I decide to tell Aziraphale who I am..."

"Then that is up to you, and it will be up to him who he tells. What you reveal is up to you, but when you reveal who you are...I will show up and he may not react kindly to that. I wouldn't do that now though." He placed the armband on me and it felt like something cold was added to my grace. Not a bad cold like...cold hearted cold, but a cold that's relaxing during the summer. A river spring is the closest thing I can describe to it.

Once it calmed down, I felt his oath and his promise as if it were a tangible thing and I was immediately thrust forward into a white light. When the colors finally came back into play, I was not in my room. I was in God's throne room, and I was not walking how I would normally walk. I was walking how Gabriel would walk. I looked around and noticed no one was around but God herself, who was reading something on her throne. _"God, I was wondering if I might have a word with you." I spoke, but it was Gabriel's voice._

_She looked at me with a risen brow before making the book disappear and stepping off of her throne to come towards me. "What is it, Gabriel? You look somehow troubled and as if you've received the greatest news."_

_"Well, that's perhaps because...it's true." I let out a huff of a laugh that was a cross between disbelief, joy, concern, and doubt. It was at that moment that I understood I was experiencing Gabriel's memory as he experienced it. "You sent the humans away..."_

_"That's hardly something good, Gabriel." She sighed. "It can yield good results should they decide wise choices and do good things, but...I wasn't aware you disliked them."_

_"No, it's not that, Lord. I um...I saw Aziraphale on the wall just before the storm arrived..."_

_"Yes, I sent you out there with an amount of invisibility, but you were only meant to see them leave the Garden..." At that she rose an inquisitive brow, but her smile twitched down in concern. "...you were supposed to leave after they left. I just needed you to make sure they left."_

_"I-I know, Lord, and I'm sorry, but...I stayed, and I saw Aziraphale...and the serpent." At that her eyes went wide with surprise._

_"You weren't meant to see that, Gabriel."_

_"I assumed so, but I did, and I...well...the serpent...he had the same exact marking that Raphael had. When he smiled...I knew...I knew it was him. Mother...R-Raphael is alive and I know it's because of you. I-I'm overjoyed, truly! However, I am also troubled by the fact that he's fallen. He's...done nothing wrong. He fought on our side and defended his mate in the most noblest and glorious of ways. I-I know I should never question you, and Raphael was always so good at questions...but...why not tell us that he's alive? Why not tell Aziraphale!? When they fell...I had to console Aziraphale. He wouldn't even TALK for most days and he would barely leave his room, only letting ME in. The most energetic and talkative angel, and he was so distraught."_

_"Gabriel, you have to understand..." Tears began fall from her eyes, and she began to sway, but I caught her in my arms and she began to cry. Somehow, as she did that, I knew that it was at that moment that the storm got worse. I then remembered on my own, not in Gabriel's memory that I was living, that at the time of the first thunderstorm, I had told him that it seemed like the rain was coming down harder. It took a very long time, and I watched in the memory as I...or rather...Gabriel...kept going in and out of the throne room, but she eventually calmed down. "...I didn't want to send him to Hell. I know so much, Gabriel. So many different paths, so many different possibilities. A lot of them horrible, but many of them good as well, and I didn't want it to have to come to me sending him to Hell, but I had to...in order to keep him alive at the very least." She wiped her eyes and got up from my arms, and then she was angry. She turned around with a hurt, yet furious expression. "You were NOT supposed to find out about Raphael! No one was! It was...It was supposed to stay between me and him, and whoever HE decided to TELL, but he didn't TELL, you caught him! Even if any of you were going to find out on your own, it wasn't supposed to be that soon!"_

_"Mother, please...I haven't told anyone. I haven't even told Aziraphale, I was just wondering why you hadn't."_

_The surprise was back on her face once again. "You...you haven't told anyone? Not even Aziraphale? Why? Why not say that he lives?"_

_"I...well...Aziraphale clearly didn't recognize him, or the symbol, or perhaps he hasn't SEEN the symbol, but you also changed his appearance and his voice...slightly. If you wanted Aziraphale to know...you wouldn't have done that, so I assumed you didn't want others to know."_

_"You'd be right, but I assume you didn't come to me to tell me something you knew I already knew."_

_"You'd be correct, Lord, but...I...I would think that...this would be all a part of your plan or something."_

_"It wasn't." She crossed her arms as she looked at me patiently. "I have always enjoyed it when my angels surprise me, but this is no such time. I am not happy for this surprise. Tell me...why have you come to me with this?"_

_"I...well...I know that Raphael is alive, I know that only you, me, and possibly HE knows...and I know how much he meant to Aziraphale and how much Aziraphale meant to him, but they are on opposite sides, Lord."_

_"If you are asking me to separate them..." She furrowed her brow in a skeptical manner, uncrossing her arms, but I reacted quickly by bringing my hands up shaking them back and forth._

_"No! I would never ask that! I...It was a tragedy when Raphael died. It was true that everyone...including myself...didn't quite like it when he kept asking questions, but other than that, everyone loved him and loved being around him. I would never ask that. No...What...um...what I ask is something that might be too bold of me to ask. I...I wish to watch over Aziraphale and Raphael. Raphael is now a demon known as Crawley, and the demons have Hellfire. If any harm should come to Aziraphale by Hell's wrath, he won't forgive himself and I doubt he'll survive it. I could deter demons and angels alike. He...Raphael is STILL my brother. Demon or no. He's still there. I saw it in his smile. I know it! I want to make sure that they have a second chance at being together again. It was obvious that Raphael still knew Aziraphale, but that Aziraphale didn't recognize him. I admit...I can't blame him, but...Raphael died for Aziraphale. My BROTHER DIED for his Grace Mate! I...I want to make sure he's safe. That they're both safe. Now...I know I can't stop all of Heaven or all of Hell, and I would never dream of going against your plans, but I want to do this. I'll still follow whatever orders you give me, but...I want to do this."_

_"You speak directly from your Grace, Gabriel. The core of it, in fact. You feel so strongly about this that you are holding back your tears. Are they tears of pleading, tears of joy, tears of fear, tears of sorrow, or tears of guilt?"_

_I looked down to the floor as I felt her words envelop me, judging me, analyzing me, looking into me, around me, above me, and below me. "All of them." I answered with a choked whisper. "I'm begging to be allowed to do this, I'm overjoyed that he's alive at least in some form other than a star, I'm afraid I've overstepped and angered you and that you will either cast me out, smite me, or not allow me to do this, I'm sad because Raphael has to live KNOWING while Aziraphale lives GRIEVING, and I'm feeling guilty, because I keep thinking that maybe I could've done something! I could've moved him out of the way or SOMETHING! I was RIGHT THERE! I was fighting against...my...Grace Mate. It was...difficult."_

_"Gabriel..." She sighed as she brought a hand to my face, rubbing her thumb gently against my cheek like only a Mother could. "...you have suffered, I know this. You have lost your Grace Mate in the Fall, you have watched your brethren fight, wound, kill, and damn each other, you have watched Raphael sacrifice himself for his Grace Mate, and you have watched him...almost literally...rise from the ashes. Gabriel, my messenger...my sweet dove...this isn't a part of my plans."_

_"I-I know! I...I assumed as much...I...I just...from the shadows. I...I can be hidden somehow, and...I'll keep Heaven off them...or as much as I can, and I'll lead as many demons away that I have to, and...I...I'll act as I'm supposed to. As if nothing's changed...no matter how much it may hurt, but...I...I need to do this."_

_"Oh?" She brought her hand away and it felt as if she took all the warmth, air, and life of me with her. "Now it's a need? Before it was a want."_

_"Y-Yes, Lord. I...I know my request is already a bit much, but...if...if my request is granted...I...I would like an...additional power. One similar to Raphael's new one of changing into a snake. I don't care what animal it is as long as I can keep watch. I...I won't interfere unless I absolutely must."_

_"Archangel Gabriel. You are requesting to interrupt my plans. You are requesting to alter them. You are requesting to have more power than I've already given you. You are requesting that I allow you to look after two beings more than your fellow angels. You are requesting to be different from what I've made you. Are you aware of this?"_

_"I am, my Lord."_

_"And if I were to decide to fell you now?" She scoffed._

_"I would be able to protect Aziraphale from Hellfire and Raphael from whatever tortures Hell offers him."_

_"You're determined to do this aren't you?"_

_"I...yes...if I'm to be honest, Lord. He's my brother and even though I can't be with my mate, he still deserves to. Even if they develop a new relationship of some sort, at least they'll get to have each other again."_

_She seemed to contemplate for a moment, but then nodded her head. She then kissed my forehead adding a transforming power. When she backed away she miracled the armband, but the symbol was hollow and dark. It was as if she encased the nothing in it. "If you are truly serious with the full knowledge that you are interrupting my plans and are practically forcing me to alter them, then I will take a piece of your grace for you to give to your brother. It will hold your grace...and an oath. An oath that you will never be able to back away from. You are asking to be something else, you are asking to protect two beings more than others, and you have just received an added power. Your oath will be severe and will be binding between you and Raphael. You may add to the oaths, but you may never take any of them back. Through this armband...should he accept it...and your only chance is IF he accepts it...then you will be able to communicate with him telepathically wherever you are. Now, if he doesn't accept, then you must return to Heaven and you will never set foot on Earth again or ever see Raphael again. Now, if you fail in your oaths...should he accept...you must forfeit your wings and willingly fall. Do you understand?"_

_"I understand. May I just ask for one more thing? Could I be in charge of Aziraphale's assignments? That way I can keep a better eye on him."_

_"I don't see why not. Are you ready?"_

_"Yes."_

Once I spoke the words I was suddenly falling forward, but Gabriel caught me. "Alright..." He said, sounding a little unsteady himself. "...didn't expect that."

"No, I didn't either. So...that's what happened?"

"Yes. That's what happened."

I couldn't help it, I snorted out a laugh at him as I sat back down in my chair. "She looked about ready to smite you."

"I know." He chuckled. "Well, now that you have that..." He closed his mouth, but then his voice entered my mind, _'Can you hear me?'_

_'Yes.'_ I replied back with wide eyes. "Hey, hold a sec...I can still have my own thoughts, right?"

"As long as you're not trying to talk to me, your thoughts are your own. With that said and done...I should go. I've been here long enough and neither of us wants him waking up to me being here. Farewell, Raphael."

"That's another thing, Gabriel...unless we're...telepathically talking...you can't call me that. You have to call me Crawley or whatever my name changes to. I'm dead, remember?"

"Yeah..." His eyes grew sad, but there was a heavy understanding in them. "...all right." With that he miracled himself out of the room.

Once he was gone, I miracled the second chair away, turned mine around to face Aziraphale, and at that moment a white scroll appeared on his stomach. I carefully grabbed it with the hand that had the armband on the upper arm, and I opened the scroll. It said that he had commendation for six months due to the fact that he risked his life for religious texts and for his forty miracles that he's preformed in the past two weeks. I gently placed it on the nightstand and began to wait for him to wake up.


	9. The Library Incident Part 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last part of the Library incident :) Enjoy, and I will be working on the next chapter as soon as I post this!

It had been two weeks and I had treated his wounds, retreated his wounds, bathed him every day, washed his hair, and every day I made meals for him in case he woke up. I was about to bring him dinner when I found him sitting up, looking around completely confused. Not noticing me in the doorway with a tray of food, he moved the covers and looked at his bandages. "Who...?"

"That'd be me, Angel." I answered as I brought him his food, the soft calm night coming through the window assisting the candles in their illumination of the room.

He looked up at me with a slightly dropped jaw and widened eyes. "Y-You...but why?"

_'That's a loaded question.'_ I internally thought to myself. "You're going to have to be a bit more clear. Here, I made you dinner."

"I...I mean why heal me? Why risk being caught and bring me here...wherever here is...and why rescue me? It would've been nothing if I discorporated."

"Except, you wouldn't have discorporated." I explained to him as I set his tray down across his lap, miracling it to stay in place so that his food wouldn't spill. "The fire had Hellfire in it."

"I-It what!?" He whispered out, but I could swear I heard a shout.

I sat down in my chair, working hard to control how pissed off I was at Hastur. "Hastur, one of the Dukes of Hell. He lit the library on fire with Hellfire. Unfortunately...that means the burns you got on your arms and legs...will heal the human way and they'll take some time. I've been treating your wounds every day as well as um...bathing you. It was the only way I could properly clean the wounds in the only way I knew how."

"What do you mean every day!? How long have I been-OW!" He cried out as he held his head that I had put a bandage on shortly after his burn bandages.

"Yeah...um...something hit your head, or you hit your head pretty hard on something. I didn't want to risk healing you with a miracle, because I didn't know how it might've affected the Hellfire burns, or if whatever you hit or hit you...if it had Hellfire in it...I didn't want it to react negatively. "

"Crawley, how long have I been here, and where exactly is here!?"

"You've been in my home in Rome for two weeks now."

"TWO WEEKS! CRAWLEY! Heaven could've come and destroyed you!"

_'Not really...not after Gabriel's visit.'_ I smirked before grabbing his scroll, tossing it to him. "Actually, you have the same amount of Commendation as me. Six months. Plenty of time for you to heal."

He opened the scroll and read it it, then his brow furrowed. "It says I saved religious texts, but...I lost those when I fell."

I got up and grabbed the bag from under the bed, plopping it onto the foot of the bed. "Everything should be there."

At the sight of the bag of scrolls, he dropped the one from Heaven and stared at the bag. "I...you...wait...we're in ROME!?"

"Yes." I slowly nodded. "We're in Rome. This is my home. It's quite large, so whenever you DO get around to being able to TRY and walk, I'll show you around."

"A-And...you...you said you bathed me."

"Yes, I did. I had to when I flew you here. You were covered in ash, dirt, and I had to find what wounds you had so I could treat them. Then, I didn't want them to get infected so I bathed you everyday and changed the bedding."

"That's..." He swallowed as he looked at his bandaged arms and then his clothes. "...I'm...wearing your clothes..."

"Your clothes got burned and your blood was all over them along with human blood. I'm sorry, but I had to burn them. Now go on, eat your food. You can ask me all the questions you want, but you haven't eaten in two weeks, and despite us not needing food, I know that you would feel as if you've had two weeks of missed opportunities to try new food. Besides...I promised you dinner anyway." I got up and was about to leave the room when he called my name.

"...I just...you know...there's no way of getting around this. What you're doing for me is nice. You do know that, right?" He smiled at me with a light blush on his cheeks. What for, I had no clue. He had no reason to be embarrassed...about anything.

I tried to look for a way around it. Tell him I'm not nice, but I had nothing. "Do you really want to know why I did this?"

"Yes, I really do, because of all your talk of not being nice, you raised an awfully sweet Nephilim, you've saved humans, you've asked me to thwart you so that you didn't end up hurting children or a mother, and you've healed me, bathed me, and have brought me food. That's nice."

"I did it because I consider you a friend. Someone I can trust. Someone I believe in, and in my line of work, that's non-existent. I consider you someone I'd like to spar with, if possible, someone I could enjoy meals with, someone who I can TALK with even if we don't have a whole lot in common, and you're kind to me. I'm not so completely heartless that I wouldn't pay that forward. I'm just...different from others. Now, are you alright here?"

"I..." His blush increased, further confusing me, but I patiently waited for his answer. "...yes. I'm...I'm alright here. Where are you going?"

"Just to take a bath. My wings need to be cleaned and my hair needs a wash."

"How should I tell you if I need anything?"

"I'll know. Don't worry. This is my home after all. I know what everything in it needs. I won't be long."

"If you're certain." I nodded and made my way to the bathing pool. About four days after I first bathed Aziraphale, I decided to make an effort, too. I made mine just an inch longer, but not as thick as his. It was still weird to get used to, but it did make clothes shift easier.

Once I got to the water, I undressed and submerged myself until all of my hair was soaked. _'Gabriel?'_ I tested, focusing on turning the armband into a necklace in case Aziraphale came in. I had already tested out all of the jewelry I could turn it into, and the necklace didn't reveal the horn the way it hung around my neck. Unless I moved it deliberately, no one could see Gabriel's symbol resting on one of the chain links in the back that was hidden by my hair.

_'What is it, Raphael?'_

_'Aziraphale is awake.'_

_'That's good...isn't it?'_

_'He called me nice.'_

_'You are.'_

_'I practically poured my damned heart out!'_

_'Did you admit you love him?'_

_'I KNOW I love him!'_

_'Not like that, you idiot! I mean did you tell him!?'_

_'Not in so many words, no. I told him what he meant to me, but I didn't say the words 'I love you'. I don't want to. Not yet. It's not right at the moment.'_

_'You have him for six months, Raphael. What are you going to do?'_

_'I don't fucking know!'_ I groaned vocally as I grabbed some soap for my hair. _'Oh, warning, I'm in the bathing pool. I needed a bath.'_

_'Nakedness doesn't bother me, Raphael. Adam and Eve were naked for some time.'_

_'SOME time.'_

_'That IS what I said.'_

I furrowed my brow at his attitude before beginning to wash my hair. _'What's with you? You seem bitter.'_

_'Probably because Sandalphon recently asked me about fifteen different questions about Aziraphale and his Commendation that I couldn't answer! I eventually had to tell him that it was up to God. That I was only following God's orders.'_

_'Sandalphon...you said his name before. Is he my replacement?"_

_'An awful one, but essentially yes. Due to that, he thinks mighty high of himself and has been warned of his pride numerous times.'_

_'I wouldn't like him, would I?'_ I asked as I went down into the water to rinse off the soap.

_'Raph...I'm pretty sure if you were still here, you would beg to spar with him just so you could punch him in the face.'_

_'Well, that's something when you consider the fact that I only sparred to help angels train and grow.'_

_'I know. Sorry for my attitude. He finally left me alone. So, about you and Aziraphale...I get you don't know what you're going to do, but...I have a question.'_

_'Alright, go ahead and ask.'_ I told him as I started to wash my body, not understanding why he wouldn't just ask it.

_'You two had kissed in Heaven. A lot. What's going to happen if the two of you kiss before he finds out who you really are...or were?'_

I froze at that, my eyes going as wide and circular as the moon. _'I...I'm not sure. I...I don't think he'd think much of it considering he thinks I'm dead. I promised to eventually tell him who I was, but there's not a right moment to be a demon AND the reason why Adam and Eve got kicked out to just walk up to him and go, 'Oh, hey, Dearest! Do you remember me? I was once Raphael! I know you watched me die for you, but God brought me back and I haven't told you, but I've been here the whole time!' Yeah, no, that's not good.'_

_'You're right, that's awful, but eventually...'_

_'I know!'_

_'Before it's too late, Raphael. There is a point where 'eventually' meets 'Too Late' and I don't want you to reach that.'_

_'Neither do I. How do you think he'll react when he finds out someday that you and I have been talking?'_

_'Not great, I imagine, but I've made my decision, and I'm not backing down now.'_

_'No, because backing down would mean falling, and sorry, but Hell already has two former Archangels. It doesn't need another. Besides, you'd make a terrible demon.'_

_'Oh, and you're so much better?'_ He scoffed a laugh. _'I have to go, Michael's knocking on my door.'_

At that, I let out a frustrated groan before diving back down into the water, this time with my wings out. It felt to good to have the water rush through them like a thick wind. When I got out of the water, I turned around and noticed there was an added person in the room, sending a chill through my body. "Aziraphale..." I breathed out before diving back into the water to swim up to the edge as I thought about the snake that was swirling around my torso. "...what are you doing out of bed?"

I was worried about him seeing it, considering it was golden, which meant it was given by God, but that worry was quickly replaced by fresh panic as he started to sway. I immediately jumped out of the pool, not bothering to grab a towel, and I held him steady. "I..." He started, but then he looked at my torso and his eyes widened in surprise before narrowing in Heavenly fury. In almost no time at all, I found myself pinned to the wall with his left hand while his right hand had miracled a sword in his hands. "HOW DARE YOU!?" He growled, actually growled!

"Aziraphale..." I tried to calmly speak while holding my hands up. "...calm down, Aziraphale."

"DON'T YOU FUCKING TELL ME TO CALM DOWN! HOW DARE YOU WEAR HIS MARK! WHO DID YOU GET TO GIVE YOU THIS!? WHO GAVE YOU RAPHAEL'S MARK! I THOUGHT THAT PERHAPS THE MARK ON THE SIDE OF YOUR HEAD WAS STRANGELY SIMILAR, BUT TO HAVE A GOLDEN SNAKE WRAPPING AROUND YOUR TORSO...HOW DARE YOU!?"

"A-Aziraphale, I need you to calm down." I repeated as calmly as I could as his sword drew up higher, ready to make a strike at my chest where my Grace was. His eyes were glowing with a lightning blue color that PROMISED to discorporate me if my answer was something he didn't like.

"Why should I listen to a single fucking thing you say, DEMON!?" Hearing him say the 'F' word was new, and any other day, I would revel in it and tease him about it, but I was on the tip end of a Principality's blade. Now was not the time to joke at him.

I watched as tears spilled from his eyes like the waterfall from Eden. With the calmest voice I could, and the most cautionary movements I could make, I gently placed my hand on the one pinning me to the wall while the other touched the hand wielding the sword. "You are still injured. Calm yourself, Aziraphale. I can explain, but you have to be willing to trust me."

"Why should I believe anything you say?"

"I'm not telling you to believe me. I'm telling you to trust me. There's a difference. Believe what you will, but I haven't said anything that requires believing yet."

His eyes flickered like a candle in the wind, and he seemed to realize what he was doing, because he looked at me, his blade, his hands, and he kept looking at the three as if they were the strangest and most horrific thing he had ever seen. "Cr-Crawley!?" He stuttered out in terrified whisper as he miracled the blade away and fall on his butt, quickly backing away from me as fast as possible. "Wh-What just happened!?"

"I think..." I started with my own widened eyes, because the way he was reacting told me that another side of Aziraphale was hidden and it just came out. "...I think perhaps you're still mourning Raphael, and you saw me with the mark around my body, and the part of you that was still in mourning, the part of you that is still so very attached to him, I think that broke free. I think you're Grace has moved on, but perhaps..." I swallowed a thick worried lump in my throat as I stepped closer until I was in front of him, where I knelt down and placed my hand over his chest. "...your heart...because you have one...I think that perhaps that part of you hadn't moved on. You also have a soul." I told him as I gently placed my hand where his soul was. "You're very unique, Aziraphale, but where the angelic you has moved on from him, but the uniqueness that God added to you...the more human aspect of you...it seems that's not moved on yet." At this point, I didn't give a dam...bless...whatever that I was naked. All I was worried about right now was my Angel and the tears streaming down his face. I moved my hands and wiped his tears away.

"Cr-Crawley...I could've...I could've discorporated you!"

"But you didn't." I smiled at him softly. "I'll thank you for that later, but right now, let's look at your burns, redress your wounds, and get you something to eat to calm your nerves, okay?"

"N-No!" He shook his head as he backed away some more, still apparently horrified with himself. "Y-You said you could trust me, and I-"

"Aziraphale, listen to me..." I sighed out. "...your heart and soul suffered a loss that no one else will ever know..."

"Millions...billions of humans have experienced the death and loss of a loved one!" He spat as he shook his head.

"Yes, but they didn't love the angel you loved. Even if they had the same amount of years, or if other angels had the same amount of years, no one would understand, because they're not you, and no one can ever replace the angel you loved. No one can no how you loved him, because they didn't feel what you felt for him."

"You..." He furrowed his brow at me, then his eyes widened as if he realized something incredibly important. "...your mate. You...you said he was still an angel...you lost him?"

"He hasn't died yet, but in a way I did." It wasn't a completely lie. Actually, if anything, it was nearly a whole truth.

"A-A-And that mark?"

I looked down at it and let out a heavy sigh. "A parting gift from God Herself. It's how I turn into a snake."

"I-I thought that perhaps that's what the symbol on the side of your head was."

"No, that's to show who I am. The serpent of Eden. The first tempter. This is embedded with a sort of...curse...you might say. I can turn into a snake and back at will, but I'm the only demon that can, making me far different and even more cast out from the other demons."

"It...It does look awfully similar to Raphael's symbol."

"Angel, I've learned the hard way not to question Her. Don't you go doing the same thing." Everything in me was telling me to tell him I was here, it's me, your Grace Mate! But I was just met with his sword, and somehow, that tells me that conversation might not go well. "If I'm this way, it's because She wanted it that way. Now, let's get you treated, alright?"

He slowly nodded his head, moving to stand, but then he looked down a bit lower than my mark, and an interesting blush crossed his cheeks. That wasn't all though. No, not by a long shock, because there was a subtle wave of lust that went from his entire being and into mine. I then watched as he swallowed a lump in his throat before looking up at me. "Hmm?"

Without my permission, my heart and soul took over and I found myself bringing a hand up to his cheek and leaning in to press my lips against his. Once it happened, the softness of his lips, accompanied by the gasp and the hands that suddenly gripped my hair, they all made it feel like coming home. A real home. Then my brain decided to oh so kindly remember that I wasn't home. Not in that way. I was a demon in Aziraphale's arms, I was Crawley that was ONCE Raphael, but Aziraphale didn't know, and most importantly at the moment, Aziraphale was still injured. I backed away slowly, licking my lips, watching him do the same, and I stood up. "I-I'm sorry." I stuttered out before helping him to stand. "I shouldn't have done that." I stated once we were eye level again. "Come on, let's treat your wounds."

"Crawley? What's wrong?"

"What's wrong!?" I asked in complete astonishment. "You're heart and soul wielded a blade against me for having similar markings to your deceased love, I kiss you once I feel a wave of lust coming off of you, and you ask me what's wrong!? I kissed you as if none of that happened! Not only that, but you're obviously still mourning Raphael."

"You're a demon, what do you care!? He was an Archangel that fought until his last breath!"

"I think you need to pick a concern." I suggested coldly, my heart shattering for the fact that he was acting this way at all, thinking I'm dead while it was also pounding with Joy that he still loves me so much, but then it shatters again, because he doesn't love ME, he loves HIM! "You ask me what's wrong as if you care why I instantly got upset at myself for kissing you, then you act as if I don't care, which, is really confusing after all the times you try to say I'm nice. Pick a concern, Aziraphale. I'm not saying pick me or Raphael, not by a long shot, but I'm saying pick a concern and stick to it."

He seemed to calm down at that, but the anger was still in his eyes. "I do still miss him. Words cannot express how heartbroken I was as I watched him die, and then he faded in my arms. He asked me to live as if he DIDN'T die, but...I have and I'm angry at myself for it, but when..." He shook his head with a slight wince and a heartbroken expression. "...in Heaven, there were those that said Raphael was a traitor, that he was only pretending to be on God's side, because he asked more questions than anyone, there are those that took it for what it was...a sacrifice to save me from Lucifer's sword, and then there are those who still mourn his loss. The one's that say he was a traitor...they didn't know a thing about him!" Tears started to fall from his eyes as he began to look at the ground.

I moved forward, still not caring that I was naked, and I wrapped my arms around him. "Shh...it's all right, Angel. It's going to be okay, you'll see. I'm sure...I'm sure he would be more than proud of the life you've lived. You've helped so many people, I've seen you look up at the stars with both joy and sadness, you've pursued things that YOU want in life, and you've been brave. In every sense of the word."

"I-I shouldn't be cr-crying!" He whimpered as he wrapped his arms around my torso, his hands gripping into my skin as if they were cloth, but I didn't mind.

"Cry as much as you want, Angel. You're safe here, I promise you. I have six months of commendation and demons don't even know where this place is. You shouldn't be up at the moment, but when you can, when I have confidence that it won't further your injuries, I'll take you out to the Garden at night so you can look at the stars. Sound good?"

"Why are you so nice to me?" He sniffled, but kept his grip on my back and his face hidden, tears still steadily falling.

"Not nice."

"Yes you are."

"I'm a demon, we're naturally not nice."

"Well..." He huffed out a sobbed laugh, and it was music to my ears. "...you're bad at being a demon."

"I'm a bit different. It's one of the reasons I'm stationed up here."

"You're nice, Crawley."

"Only to you, Nova, and maybe one other, but that's still up for debate at the moment." That last part I said with a little more amusement as I thought of Gabriel and my new jewelry. "Just don't go around saying it unless I have commendation. That's the ONLY time you're allowed to say it...AND it would HAVE to be inside either my home, or yours...when you get one."

"Okay. I can agree to that." He nodded his head against my chest. "Just...why were you upset about kissing me? Why WOULD you care about Raphael, or whether I still thought about him or not?" He leaned away from the hug, looking up at me with wet eyes and a questioning expression. Then, before I could answer him, he started to collapse, but I scooped him up like I did at the library, letting out a frustrated sigh.

"I told you that you weren't ready to be out of bed!" I looked down at him and his jaw was dropped as he stared at me. "What?"

"I...but...aren't I heavy?"

"Not to me." I shrugged before taking him back to the bedroom. Once we got there and I laid him down, I noticed he finished all of his food that I had made him and that it was neatly placed on the nightstand. I then snapped my fingers and I was dressed once again. "Right, I'm going to go put this away and I'll be back to redress your wounds."

"Thank you, Crawley." He muttered before looking away from me.

"Angel, what's wrong?"

"You're not going to answer me, are you?" He asked, causing me to let out a defeated sigh.

"I will, but your wounds need to be treated." I took the tray, cleaned it, put it away, grabbed medicine and the necessary things I would need for his wounds, and returned to the room only to find him asleep. I shook my head at how peaceful he looked, but how incredibly exhausted his form seemed too. I released the wrappings on his legs first and began to treat them like I always did. "They're looking better. You wouldn't know it, because you're asleep again, and because you weren't awake to see the initial damage, but...they were awful. They'll scar, like I told you, and you can't miracle the scars away, but at least you're still here."

As I was finishing up with his legs and about to work on his arms, he stirred awake. "Crawley?" He questioned with a sleepy tone that forced a smile onto my face.

"Evening, Angel. Just finishing up your legs."

"I fell asleep."

"So I noticed." I chuckled lightly. "Do you want an answer to that question now?"

"I...yes." He nodded as he moved to sit up once I finished bandaging his legs.

"I was upset about kissing you, because it was wrong. I knew what Raphael meant to you in Heaven. I remember it. Clear as if it happened yesterday. The fact that you're still mourning him made kissing you wrong."

"Wait...that...almost sounds as if you've thought about kissing me, but you haven't...for moral reasons."

"Gonna make fun of how different of a demon I am?" I asked him as I started working on his right arm.

"No, I'm fortunate for it, and I have to believe there's a reason for it, but what I mean is...it sounded as if you've wanted to kiss me."

"Not gonna lie, I did."

"Why?"

"Those reasons are my own."

"Reasons...as in...more than one. Then...at least tell me one?"

I looked up at him with an agitated huff of air blowing through my nose. He's making it harder and harder to not tell him, but the time isn't right! It's just not! He's injured, fragile, and in a sensitive state! I can't! "Just one?"

"Just one." He nodded with a slight smile that said, 'Yay! I'm victorious! He's going to say or do something!' It's a look I was well acquainted with when it concerned him.

"Right...well...your lips...look kissable, and...as a demon...I hadn't kissed anyone in that way. Not on the lips."

"Cr-Crawley! B-But it's...we're FAR from the beginning!"

"Really?" I gasped as I placed a dramatic hand over my heart. "I had no idea! Thank you for reminding me!"

"Oh, hush, you." He rolled his eyes. "So...as a demon...I'm the first being you've kissed?"

"First _anyone_ I've kissed, because I certainly hadn't kissed any humans on the lips."

"What if...What would you say if I told you I liked it?"

My heart did a back flip and flew off with my tongue before I could control the next words that came out of my mouth. "I'd tell you that I loved it." My own words left me frozen and my body feeling as if it were dissolving into nothing. _'Why the Heaven did I just say that!?' _I shook my head, steadying my nerves and hopefully gaining control of my mouth. "BUT! I would also have to ask, 'What about Raphael?' and 'Is it something you want to repeat?' Then...if that's the case my next question would be, 'For how long?' There's questions, Aziraphale, and I won't actually do anything...well...again...until you want me to, not that I expect you to. There's a list of reasons for you to not want to. One, I'm a demon. Two, I'm fallen. Three, I'm damned. Four, I-" Before I could finish, I was grabbed by my robe and my lips were on his, and I was unable to stop the groan of pleasure that left me as I instinctively returned the kiss.

I brought my now shaking hand up to the side of his face, gliding my thumb against his cheek bone like I used to. The pleasure and joy of it all going straight to my groin, somehow pulling out more pleasure and more noise as he continued to kiss me, moving his mouth against mine, and I matched his movements. It was strange that I was kissing my mate, but to him he wasn't kissing Raphael. He was kissing Crawley the demon. It kind of felt like he was cheating on me...with me. Adultery against me...WITH me. An amusing concept and an ironic one to be sure. Then, he slowly left the kiss and I was left breathless and very confused about multiple things. "I..." He started, but his voice didn't quite work so I watched as his Adam's apple bobbed down then up with a swallow before he tried again. "I liked it."

"I...I loved it." I admitted, because what else would I say? But then I remembered what I said I would say. "B-But...what about Raphael? I-Is it something you want to repeat and...if so...for how long and...why?"

"I...I'm not quite sure...but I..." He furrowed his brow as if he was contemplating how to word his next sentence so I would understand it better before smiling at me with an amused look in his eyes. "...I think...I think he would've been okay with this..."

_'More than you know.'_ I thought as I tried desperately to hold in the joyous mirth I felt at the statement.

"...and I think he would've liked you..."

_'Well...I'd liked to think so.'_ That time I couldn't hide the smile, but apparently it encouraged him to continue.

"...and I know he asked me to live my life like he hadn't died, but doing so...made me sad and angry. He wouldn't want that for me..."

_'This is very true, and I am so so sorry! I should've never asked that of you.'_

"...and kissing you...it made me happy. I...I'm not sure why, but...it did."

_'If he says he loves me, I'm done for!'_ I swallowed a thick lump in my throat. _'If he says he doesn't, I'm done for! I'm screwed either fucking way, but...it made him happy.'_ I nodded my head. "It...It made me happy too, but...Aziraphale, I'm a demon, you're an angel, and neither office would like if they saw us together. I know you're not looking for a relationship, because you're still very much in love with Raphael, and believe me, that's fine! However, it sounds as if you want to do more kissing...and...from the lust coming off of you...you want to do more than kiss." I raised a challenging brow at him and earned the deepest blush I had EVER seen on him.

"W-Well, I...I can't say you're lying. About any of it. I...I do...want to kiss you and...try...more."

"But why? Why with me? There's other angels up there for you that would be better than me. I'm a demon, Aziraphale. So, why?"

"Because I've known you longer than I've known those in Heaven. It's awful to say considering we likely never met in Heaven, but I feel like I haven't known any of them. I was a loner before Raphael. I kept to myself. I didn't talk to anyone but Raphael...at least...until after him, then I talked a bit, but no more than I had to and it's STILL that way. However, with you...I can be myself. I don't have to worry about saying the wrong thing, and if I do, you don't judge me for it. We fight about it, talk about it, and get over it. I trust you, and I know you, or well...I'd like to think I do and if I don't, I'd like to get to know you. I...I want to be your friend." He winced as if that last sentence would explode in his face like immediate Hellfire while I was left with a dropped jaw, empty brain, pounding heart, singing Grace, and dancing soul.

"Aziraphale..." I breathed out once my lungs remembered how to, and I tilted his face up so that his eyes would meet mine. When they did, I saw the worry and embarrassment swimming in there like a fish in the ocean. "...I was under the impression we already were friends." At my words the worry and embarrassment was quickly replaced with joy, curiosity, mischief, and wonder. "What do you want to do?"

"I...I want to do what you thought I wanted to do. I want to kiss you...and more. Like the humans do."

"I'm going to need you to be sure, Aziraphale, because once we start this...arrangement...I won't want to stop. I'm greedy that way."

"I'm sure." He frantically nodded his head, causing a laugh to escape my lips.

"Alright then!" I grinned at him before kissing his forehead. He would likely have no idea how happy he just made me, but perhaps he'll know when I eventually tell him the full truth. "Just kisses for now, though. You're still badly injured."

"Oh...fine." I felt his lust and happiness come off of him as if it were a tangible ocean wave that nearly knocked me over.

"Good. Now, you're just going to have to be a good patient until then."

"I am ALWAYS a good patient!" He scoffed as if he were scandalized.

"Yeah, okay, sure, whatever you say, Angel." I chuckled warmly, unable to calm the RIGHTNESS I felt in my entire being! _'Hey, Gabriel!'_

_'Yes, Raphael?'_

_'You busy?'_

_'No, I'm in my room, reading. Is something wrong?'_

_'No! Something is right! I...well...I accidentally kissed Aziraphale and-'_

_'How do you ACCIDENTALLY kiss someone!?'_

_'Shut up and let me talk!'_

_'Okay, okay!'_ He laughed warmly through our connection, and as I treated Aziraphale's wounds, he didn't seem to notice anything amiss or...Holy happening, so I just continued doing what I was doing.

_'Anyway, I accidentally kissed him, and I panicked!'_

_'How is that good!?'_

_'I swear to...SOMEONE if you don't let me finish I will come up there and kick your ass!'_

He let out an annoyed sigh through our connection before speaking again. _'The sad thing is I BELIEVE you would do something that stupid. Go on.'_

_'I'm going to pretend you didn't say that. Now, I panicked, we had a bit of a fight, but...he said he liked it! We talked about it, I won't tell you what was said, because there was a lot, but...WE'RE FRIENDS! He admitted it! Not only that, but he said he wants to kiss me and...do more, but we can't right now, because he injured, but yeah! That's my good news.'_

_'Permission to speak oh great and wise Raphael?'_ The sarcasm was palpable, causing me to chuckle lightly.

"What's so funny?" Aziraphale questioned with a small smile.

"Oh, nothing, just a thought. Ignore me."

"Oh, alright then."

_'Yes, you can speak.'_

_'You sound like a love-struck, hormonal, teenage, human, girl!' Then there was laughter, his laughter, in my head._

_'Right, remind me not to tell you when I need you, when I get in danger, and we'll see how well that promise holds up.'_

_'You wouldn't dare.'_ I could practically see the confident and fond smile he was wearing.

_'You're right, but you don't have to be an ass about it. I know you far better than that. You're happy for me.'_

_'I am, but you have to admit...you are acting like it.'_

_'I never thought I would have anything with him ever again! Let me be a bit of a love-struck fool!'_

_'Permission granted. Now, tend to your mate.' _That I did and I did so feeling the happiest I've felt in a very very very long time!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will be the cause of the rating changing from 'M' to 'E'. Sorry for any inconvenience, but the next chapter will be an 'E' and I don't know if I'll add another or not. I might, but until then...yeah...thank you for reading my scatter brained message! :)


	10. Being Loved

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Though I am a religious person (PLEASE DO NOT JUDGE) I do NOT claim to know the whole bible, so please, please, PLEASE no one find any of this offensive! It is FANFIC! Please and Thank you! Please enjoy! Besides...that's only about half the chapter...maybe 1/4...ANNNNNNNNNYYYYYYYYYWAAAAAAAAAAAAY Enjoy! :)

We never got around to actually doing more than kissing, because once his commendation was up, he was called back and apparently big important things were going to be happening soon. That was YEARS ago! Now, I was in Galilee, and have been for a while. Nova was actually letting me live at her place. It was pretty big and cozy with an extra room for me with beautiful cloth and clothing for me to wear that was suitable for the punishment I'm to serve for allowing a human to leave the Library while it was on fire. I had told them I wanted to see the carnage up close and inside, but when they figured out I let a human escape...they told me I had to be a complete woman for three hundred years. Apparently, the man I had let go, was the man the fire was for in the first place. He had escaped Hell's clutches three times by avoiding death, tricking a demon, and thinking that if he said a brief prayer over some water and tossed it at a demon it would work. So...now I'm a woman with EVERY part a woman has! There was also the fact that my voice hadn't changed into a higher or lower pitch or even to something more feminine. It was just softer and less rough. However, I have NEVER been more grateful to have Nova for a daughter than I am now! She's had to teach me things I didn't know and that I wish I had taught her long ago! The hormones alone are fucking horrible! I will say this though, it made it easier to wear Gabriel's jewelry. At the moment I was wearing it as a bracelet, willing the symbol to be on the inside just in case.

"Mother, can you come look at this a moment?" Nova called to me. She said that since I'm a woman now, that I was her Mother instead of her Father. She wasn't entirely wrong on that decision, but it still felt weird after hundreds of years of her calling me Father.

Either way, she seemed troubled by something, so I left my small part of the Garden to go meet her on the other side of it. She was looking at our table and the two benches that came with it. It seemed as if they were charred and broken. "Nova..." I drawled out as I crossed my arms at her. "...were you trying to learn how to control fire again?"

"Well, I..."

"Nova, you are thousands of years old, do not lie to me."

"Why do I have this power if I can't even use it!?" She blurted out in exasperation.

"You can, but there is a time and place for training, and abusing our picnic bench is NOT one of them!"

She looked down with a defeated huff and nodded her head. "I'm sorry."

"It's fine." I relented seeing the obvious and genuine guilt on her face. "I'll have to go see if there's a carpenter in town."

"I just moved here two months ago, so I'm afraid I don't know anyone or even who to ask. Are you sure you'll be fine, Mother?"

I smiled at her as I grabbed my scarf to put over my hair and around my neck. "Yes, I'll be fine. I'm the original tempter, if I get into trouble, I can just...tempt my way out."

"Good luck." She chuckled lightly as she looked back at the table.

I made my way into town, and it was then that I realized it was nearing dusk and people were heading into their homes. 'No point in asking someone this late.' I mentally sighed to myself. When I turned around to go back to my home, I accidentally bumped into someone and fell on my backside. "I am so sorry." I immediately said, trying to make my voice sound a bit more feminine.

"No need to be sorry, Raphael, and there's certainly no need for you to disguise your voice around me." It was a voice I didn't know, but somehow the voice knew me. Completely.

I looked up and my jaw dropped as I noticed the light in his gentle aura. "Y-You're Jesus!" I started backing away, but he just smiled at me as he came closer and held his hand out.

"Let me help you up."

I looked at his hand as if it were the most foreign thing to me, and really, it kind of was. I haven't read auras in so long, because frankly, they gave me THE WORST migraines, but his had me curious, and now I wish I wasn't. However, I took it anyway, and allowed him to help me up. "Thank you...I guess."

"You're welcome."

"So...why call me Raphael?"

"Because that is your name." He laughed as if I asked him a stupid question, which honestly, ticked me off quite a bit. I wasn't pissed yet, but I could tell I might get there very quickly with him.

"No, it's not. That was who I was in Heaven. My name is Crawley."

"Oof!" He chuckled brilliantly. "Did Mother pick that name out for you?"

That got a reaction out of me as I rose my brow nearly to my hair line with widened eyes. "Thought you called Her...Father and He."

"I do, but that's because I was told to by Her and Gabriel. Her reasons? I do not know, but if I was meant to know it, I would know, and I don't. So...here we are. Now, did She give you that name?"

"Yes, before I fell." I answered and I had to admit, he didn't seem so bad, but I still don't like being treated like my questions are stupid.

"Would you allow me to give you a new name?"

I couldn't help but laugh at that. "Really? You do know that I'm a demon, correct?"

"I know you're from Hell." He smiled as if he knew something that I didn't and the ticked off feeling was back, quickly forming into pissed off. "I also know that you have a Nephilim daughter that God has decided to allow you to raise and keep. Otherwise, she would've died in the great flood."

"Just how much DO you know?"

He grinned and shook his head. "I know as much as I need to. As much as I am allowed to. As I'm sure you are aware, I'm mortal, and some information just isn't for us. Son of God or not. Now, will you please stop deflecting my questions?"

I let out a frustrated sigh and nodded my head. "I think I might actually like a new name. Crawley...it's too..."

"Squirming-at-your-feetish?" He inquired and I snorted out a laugh in reply.

"Yeah, actually."

"Hmm..." He looked at me up and down and seemed to decide as his grin grew. "...your new name should be Crowley."

"Huh...not bad. Still sounds a bit like the last one but it's not at the same time. It's not too far from what God gave me, but it's different too. It's perfect. Thank you."

"You are very welcome, Raphael."

"But...I will have to ask you not to call me that."

"Very well, Crowley. So, why were you in town this late anyway?"

"Ah, well, that daughter of mine you mentioned?" He nodded, telling me to continue. "She tried to practice with her powers and she set our picnic table on fire. She put it out before I got there, but...we don't have a picnic table anymore, so I was coming down here to look for a carpenter, but...it got late so..."

"Ah, we must've been put in each other's paths. I'm a carpenter here in Galilee. I can take a look if you like and possibly even teach you if you want."

"You'd...teach a demon...carpentry?"

"I'd teach someone willing to learn." The words were just that, mortal words. They didn't have any Holy or Godly power into them. They were just honest, and just like when I'm around Aziraphale, Nova, or even Gabriel when he would visit...I didn't feel that much of a demon anymore.

"I'll learn. It could be a useful skill to have on my jobs."

"Or if someone needs help with something, and of course, you can make your own things. Design it yourself, but we'll get to that."

So, he came to our house, making Nova jump quite a bit, but soon they became friends, and then later he and I became friends. She became his friend in about a month, it took me about half a year to admit he was my friend. He didn't judge me when I had to go off and do demon work, but whenever I would get commendation, big or small, we would spend it with me learning how to do carpentry. In about two and a half years, I finally mastered it. We had sold all of the work we made since Nova's house was already filled with furniture, and at the moment, we were sitting down at the picnic table that we made as our first project and we were having fish with some fruit and bread. "Thank you for teaching my mother how to do Carpentry." Nova said before taking a bite of her fish.

"I enjoyed teaching her." He stated as he looked at me with a kind smile.

"It was actually a bit fun...learning how to do all that."

"Yes, and you gained a bit of money for you and your daughter should you travel again or need anything." Jesus added. "However, I must now do other things. After this meal, I'm afraid I won't be seeing much of either of you again. If we do meet, it will be in passing and hopefully we can talk about our adventures and travels for a while."

"I hope we meet again." Nova began. "You're always welcome in our home."

That caught Jesus' attention as his smile grew and his eyes widened. He then turned to me with a questioning look. "Crowley?"

"Yes?"

"AM I welcome in your home? Even if you no longer live with Nova?"

I don't know why, but my Grace took hold of my mouth and forced me to answer without hesitation, "Yes, of course you are. You're my friend." On the inside I was dumbfounded that I would say or admit that. I'm a demon after all! I wasn't supposed to welcome him into my home, I wasn't supposed to learn from him, and I wasn't supposed to befriend him, but here we are and I was still very confused, feeling as if I was drowning in a sea of 'What the Heaven is going on?' and I was never going to be able to come up for air.

"That's good to know."

My life was beginning to get weirder and weirder. I die for Aziraphale in Heaven, God fells me, I live knowing everything between the two of us and that I'm alive, I gain two daughters, I save Aziraphale from the library, gain Gabriel as a secret ally, and now I have Jesus as a friend. I feel as if there's a door, and I've turned the knob, but I haven't pushed or pulled it open to see what the Heaven is on the other side, but that everyone knew what was there. Everyone but me.

It was some years later that I was sent to tempt him, we both had a laugh about it, but he let me GENUINELY TRY anyway. He told me to honestly give it all I had, to be a ruthless tempter and I tried, but of course, it didn't work.

Some time after that I was hearing some of the worse things, and I just couldn't believe they were true, so I went to investigate it for myself. At this point, I had taken to traveling since there was still a good amount of money in my pocket and if need be I could do some carpentry or medicine work, but while I was traveling, Nova moved to Rome and got another large house with two bedrooms and a Garden in the middle of it. It was beautiful and so completely her. Anyway, I walked into the crowd, and I saw it. What the people had been talking about. I watched Jesus carry his cross as he was lead by soldiers, taunted and jeered at by people, and there was so much blood on his back. He had been whipped.

I followed the crowd until they all stopped and began to prepare his crucifixion. That's when I saw Aziraphale. Hearing what I heard, it was Heaven that decided he needed to be crucified. Why God would do this to her own son was beyond me. Why she would allow the humans to treat him this way...it hurt, but that same pull on my Grace that answered Jesus about being welcome in my home told me it was going to be okay.

That didn't stop how angry I felt though, and Aziraphale was here watching it! We talked about it, I told him I knew him and about my new name, but I didn't tell him who gave it to me.

Everyone had left except the soldiers of course, and I could feel the guilt radiating off of him. I placed a hand on his shoulder and leaned down to his ear. "There was nothing you could do for him, Aziraphale. There was nothing _I_ could do."

He sniffled, making it clear that he was crying so I just wrapped my arm around his shoulders and led him to town. "Crowley..."

"Yes?"

"Do you um...do you have anywhere you're staying right now?" He asked without looking at me.

"No, I've been traveling."

"I um...I have a small place nearby. It's not much, but it holds a bed, my scrolls and books, and it's a sort of temporary base of operations. I was wondering if you might keep me some company."

"Sure, Angel. No problem." I took my arm away from his shoulder and he started to lead me further into town. Eventually we actually made it a bit past town, but there it was. Practically away from everyone else.

"A bit eerie here, Angel. 'No one will hear you if you scream' kind of place."

"You don't mean my home, do you?" He gasped in what seemed to be a genuinely offended expression.

"NO! I just mean the location." His home was actually rather nice. It wasn't a structured home for a start. It was a large tent and I could see and smell herbs all around us as we got closer. "What do you use this place for?"

"Oh, well, I um...Nova taught me a bit about herbs, what they do, what they can help with and what not to use, then I learned from a few other men and women, and well...for now...other than reading, writing, and searching for more written words, I do this to help others. I sell herbs and medicine. I make them and grow them. I've gotten better at growing plants."

"Seems like." I replied honestly as I saw the herb garden he had off to the side that also started wrapping around the back.

"Forgive me if I'm wrong, Crowley, but...are you presenting as a woman?"

"I am, but not by choice." I then told him about my punishment and its circumstances.

"Oh, my...that does sound awful."

"Yes, but I cope."

"Seems like." He returned at me with a small smile. "Would you um..." He started as if he realized he was smiling, and suddenly didn't want me to know that, which was strange. "...I mean, there's some ingredients, I can...well...I don't know if you've eaten yet, but...I suppose...a bed...or...dinner...or..."

I made him quiet the only way my brain told me how. I gently cupped his face and kissed his lips. It feels like forever since I've kissed him. It's really been since he was at my home after the Library incident and we hadn't done anything further like he wanted, but kissing was definitely a thing. When I pulled away I gave him a soft reassuring smile. "Whatever you want to do, Angel."

"I-I think more of that." He blushed as he looked down at the ground beneath him.

"Are you sure?" I asked with a risen brow. "You just watched Jesus be crucified. Death is never and will never be easy for you."

"Yes, I'm sure." He nodded before looking up at me with a sympathetic expression. "Besides...you were more bothered by it than I was. Why is that?"

We continued inside, and it was incredible. There were blankets and pillows everywhere, there was color all around us, and it was EASILY the most comfortable looking tent I had ever been in. There was a mortar and pistol along with a few other ingredients and tools off to the side near the entrance, and there was a curtain off to the far left, indicating that a bedroom was there, or at least a form of one. There wasn't much for furniture, but it was definitely amazing and it suited him well. "I um...I knew him."

"Yes, you said that, but how? I assume for more than just tempting." He kept walking, so I eventually followed him into the make-shift bedroom where there were even MORE blankets and pillows, but this time, rather than set up so people could sit or relax or receive treatment, it was obviously meant for actual sleep.

"I um...learned from him. WOW, Aziraphale! This place is beautiful!"

After I spoke, he stopped and turned to give me a stunned look. "I'm sorry, say that again? I must've misheard."

"This place is beautiful." I repeated.

"No..." He shook his head, letting out a nervous chuckle. "...not that. I mean...you learned from him? What did you learn?"

"Oh, I learned carpentry. Nova burned our picnic table so I was going into town to find a carpenter, but it was getting dark. On my way back, I bumped into him, apologized for bumping into him before knowing who he was, and he called me by my old Heavenly name. He offered to teach me, we had a conversation, and I learned from him. We um...we became friends. Nova liked him nearly instantly, but it did take some getting used to for her."

"You..." He gawked, making his blue eyes shine with hidden delight and amusement. "...became friends with Jesus of all people."

"Yes. Problem?" I asked as I crossed my arms.

"No! No problem, I just...didn't expect it and oh..." It seemed that the revelation of what I just witnessed caught up with him as the amusement vanished from his eyes. "...Crowley...I'm so sorry."

"Please, don't worry about it, Aziraphale."

"A-Alright, if you're sure."

"I am." I nodded before taking my scarf off, exposing just how long my hair had gotten. It was now in waves and ringlets as it cascaded down my back until it stopped just at the base of my back.

"My dear!" He breathed out as he stepped forward and ran a hand through my hair, causing me to lean into the familiar touch, unable to stop the light moan that left me. "Oh..." He sighed as if he realized something.

"I uh...couldn't help it. It felt good." I admitted.

"I erm...realized that." As he said it, I felt the wave of desire coming off of him, and honestly, it was still a bit surreal to me how he was feeling desire for me at all given all of the circumstances, and given the fact that we just witnessed something horrible.

"Oh." I so eloquently said as he looked up at me. "Um...did you want to try out that...'more than kissing' bit?"

"I..." He swallowed thickly as he nodded his head. "...I think I might. I...I'm afraid I can't explain it, My Dear. You...just have this affect on me. I..."

"What about falling?" I asked as the thought occurred to me instantly and regrettably.

He furrowed his brow at that and seemed to think about it, but then he shrugged lightly. "Honestly, I've indulged in Gluttony, Sloth, and Envy. I can't see how Lust would do me harm at this point."

"Aziraphale, I won't do anything that may lead to your fall. You can't possibly understand how it would break me." Dammit! I hate being a woman! So fucking emotional and my worry for him and my love for him is through the fucking atmosphere! How did Nova deal with it from birth!?

"No, I don't, and I'm sure there's thousands of reasons I would not be allowed to know even if you were my mate..."

_'Not true! It's BECAUSE OF THAT!'_ I wanted to scream!

"...but regardless, I do not think I will fall."

Completely unbidden and unwanted, a memory came to mind and it was Gabriel explaining that he would protect whatever child me and Aziraphale had, should either of us have the correct and full effort to become pregnant with, and all I could do was glare up at the sky._ 'Are you serious!? I...If I get pregnant then what!?'_

"Crowley? Are you all right?"

"Yeah, just...thinking. Well...if you're sure, but...have you um...done what we're about to do before? With a man OR a woman, because right now...I'm a woman and I can't change it back for quite some time."

"I have not." He blushed as he started to fiddle with his ring. "I assumed you might, being a demon and all."

"Ah, well, I haven't either. No one." I watched as his eyes widened when the flitted back up to me.

"Oh, well, I don't know whether that makes me feel better or worse."

I snorted out a laugh and nodded my head. "I think I understand. Let's...let's just see where our instincts take us, yeah? We're not exactly normal like humans. We have wings for a start." I moved closer to him and kissed him gently on his right cheek, then his left, then finally his lips, earning a soft sigh from him. He wrapped his arms around my neck and deepened the kiss by sliding his tongue across my bottom lip, yanking a moan out of my throat as I pulled him closer by winding an arm around his waist and back. When my mouth opened because of my moan, he gently slid his tongue inside, nearly making me weak at the knees, so I guided him to what was apparently his bed.

He carefully started taking my clothes off, as difficult as they were to get off, but he somehow managed to do it eventually. Once I was completely naked in front of him, breasts, effort, and all, he stared with a dropped jaw. "Cr-Crowley..." He stuttered out while I was nearly knocked clean out with another wave of desire, but it was mixed with something else. Something I knew coming from him once, but I couldn't quite remember what that sense was. I remember the sense had all five senses in it. It had a sound, a taste, a touch, a smell, and a look. If he kept it up, I might be able to figure it out again, but at the same time I was scared to. So, I just focused on the way he was looking at me.

"Is something wrong?"

"N-Not at all. You're...you're beautiful." He then looked down on himself and quickly wrapped his arms around himself. "I...I'm afraid I'm not so much."

_'Oh...now that's adorable.'_ I thought as the sad blush crept on his cheeks. I reached forward and grabbed his arms, separated them, and held his hands in mine with a soft smile I might've given him in Heaven once, but hey, we agreed to go on instinct. Sort of agreed. I looked him in the eyes and shook my head. "No, I don't think that's possible, Aziraphale. For the remainder of our night together, I'm going to be rather sappy and romantic and if you ever bring it up to anyone...ESPECIALLY Nova, I will deny it, and if this should happen again...this night...I will react the same. All sappy and romantic. Will you allow me that?" He made a spluttering sound, but eventually nodded his head. "Good, because honestly, I do find you attractive. Will you allow me to undress you or would you rather do it?"

"I...um...well...I erm...this is...I just...I never...I expected...I DIDN'T expect...for you to um...be so out of erm...character from the...demon I know. I...I know I've called you nice before, but...I...I had no idea you might...in bed, I just..."

That got my attention as it tugged painfully at my heart. "Aziraphale, what did you think I'd be like?"

"I thought maybe...rough, a bit forceful, or even...I don't know...demanding, but...I...I like this much better."

Of course he thought, and I couldn't blame him. Other demons, when PHYSICALLY inspiring and causing lust and adultery...they were like that. The only ones that weren't were Beelzebub and myself. She was softer than she let everyone else believe. I think I'll ask her one of these days why she only lets me see it, but at the moment, my mind wasn't on her, it was on the worried angel in front of me. "I'm glad you like this much better. Now, will you allow me to undress you?" He nodded his head, so I got to work, slowly giving his skin gentle kisses as I revealed more of his naked body, gaining soft gasps and sighs as I went until he was eventually completely unclothed like me. "You look stunning."

I was about to lean forward and touch his chest where his symbol of a sword going across an apple was and on the blade of the sword there was the letter 'E'. It symbolized he was the Guardian of the Eastern Gate of Eden. However, I didn't reach his chest. He reached mine, and he gently massaged my right breast, sending a calm shiver down my spine before it switched into a sort of lingering pulsing pleasure that slowly made its way downward. "I-I'm sorry..." He stuttered softly as he continued his movements. "...I...I don't know exactly what I'm doing." He started to take his hand away, but I quickly grabbed it and put it back.

"Neither do I. That's why we're doing this together. It'll be awkward at first, but I'm sure we'll figure it out. We're smart like that. What have you seen the humans do?"

"Ah, well...I um...I remember Adam and Eve, and there have been humans doing it against walls, but then they would always go indoors. I never...not since Adam and Eve, and I averted my eyes as quickly as possible. I'm trying to mimic what I've seen, but..."

"Ah...that might be the problem. Angel, that's what other humans want to do with each other. What do you want to do to me or with me? I imagine it would be better if you think about what you want rather than what you've seen."

"I want to kiss you." He rushed out as he gently tugged his hand back and this time I let him. "I...I want to..."

"Aziraphale..." I kissed him on the lips soft and quick before giving him another small smile. "...whatever you want to do, you have my permission to do. Whatever is going on in that head of yours, don't tell me...show me. You won't hurt me, you won't upset me, and whatever awkwardness we meet, we'll at least be able to laugh about it later."

"Oh...Oh, Good Lord. You are being sappy and romantic!" He laughed gently, the soft tone of it mimicking a soft bell and soon he was nodding his head. He then moved forward and brought a hand behind my neck, crashing our lips together, and to my surprise, rather harshly at that. He then turned me to lay me down on his bed until I was entirely on my back, my head resting comfortably on his plethora of pillows.

Once he pulled away from the kiss that was lighting up my nerves more than I lit up the stars, I watched as he miracled the small candles to light, since dusk and moonlight now shone through his tent, and then I saw a look in his eyes when he returned his gaze to mine. It was a look I was sure I would never see again. It was the 'look' part of the sense I felt earlier that involved the five senses. This was the look he used to give me when we would kiss or spend time with each other and I saw this look a lot when we built the stars together. It was a look that said, 'Let me take care of you.' It was a look stated, 'You're important to me.' However, most importantly it was a look that promised, 'I'll be there for you no matter what.' It was all I could to not cry, and I was rather proud of myself. "Aziraphale, you're positively shining in the moon and candlelight." I brought a hand up to his curls, tucking some behind his left ear, earning a smile. "If that kiss is what I have to look forward to when you do what you want, by all means, continue."

He lowered himself without another word, and began kissing my neck while keeping a gentle hand on my shoulder. That's when I found the other sense. Smell. What was included in the main sense was the smell of lavender, sage, and petrichor. The kisses alone caused me to lightly moan with ever kiss. It sent sparks of pleasure up and down my arms and just like before, straight downward to my effort, which I quickly realized was getting more and more wet. "You're so beautiful, Crowley. I don't think you realize..."

_'Oh!'_ My brain supplied along with the moan that came from the lightning strike of pleasure he sent down from ear, to my spine, to everything! 'And I thought I was going to be sappy and romantic!' I placed my hand on his shoulder, which made my own hand feel like it was burning, but not in a dangerous way. "Now, I think you're lying, Angel. I'm all bones and angles. Even in this form that's slightly curvier, I'm still bones and angles."

"Like I said..." He chuckled warmly and for a moment it didn't feel like I was a demon and he was an angel. For a moment, I felt...human. I felt free from Hell and no longer terrified of Heaven. My heart pounded against my chest and I prayed that he wouldn't feel it, because then he would know who I am, and I don't want to explain that. I don't want to ready myself for that heartache, that fight. I want to live here, in this moment, and I don't want the sun to rise, because when it does, we have to go back to our everyday normal. "...you don't realize it."

"How long have you been thinking about how beautiful I am?"

"Do you want the honest answer?" He questioned with a slight smirk.

_'How the fucking Heaven or Hell was this the angel that was skittish, nervous, and awkward just a few fucking moments ago! God! If this is a test, I'm going to fucking fail! What in the actual...!'_ I cleared my throat and nodded my head. "Y-Yeah, I really do."

"I believe...since Eden. You were just so strikingly beautiful. Your hair and your eyes...it...they..."

"I remind you of him, don't I?" I asked, not minding the answer, because He was Me, but that pang of jealousy at my self was back. I shooed it back from whence it came when he gave a guilty nod. "I don't mind in the slightest. I feel honored."

"I sure hope so." He grinned before moving down with a slight uncertainty on his face, but before I could ask about the look he gave, he placed his mouth on my nipple and began to twirl his tongue and suck as if he's done this before, but he hasn't, and I couldn't hold back the cries of pleasure it sent all over my body, but many to my lower half. It was incredible and I didn't want him to stop, but I needed friction! My body was craving it. He moved to the other breast before I could get even a syllable out, then he started using his fingers on the other one, causing me to come untouched as I arched my back in pure pleasure that I have never known before, only merely heard about and the rumors did it no justice. The amount of just pure...FEELING his movements caused, forced my wings out when I finally lowered my back. "That...was that...?"

"Yeah..." I breathed out as I watched Aziraphale through half closed eyes bring a curious hand down in between my legs, causing me to twitch in pleasure...AGAIN!? My body was ready to go again, but somehow I knew it would be far more sensitive to whatever he would do next.

He carefully placed a middle finger in between my folds, apparently causing him to moan at the feeling. "Oh, Crowley! You're...so wet. I...I believe I like you like this."

"Like a woman?" I rose a brow with a slight smirk.

"No." He shook his head before he gave me a VERY familiar look. It was the look he would give me when we sparring together. It was confident, happy, and filled with...that other main sense I could figure out still. I had sight and smell. Now all I needed was taste, touch, and sound. "You below me. I find it quite enjoyable." Well, FUCK! There it was. The sound. The sound of his confidence, his mirth, his voice low and sultry, and in a tone only I ever heard it in. EVER.

I swallowed the huge lump in my throat and nodded my head. "Well, you know...demon and all...I'm beneath you anyway."

"No, you misunderstand." A sad expression over took his features and I hated it. I despised it. It shouldn't be there! "Not beneath me. Just below me. A bit hard to explain right now, but..." He looked at his finger and seemed to have an idea.

As it turned out, that idea was to send me into blank minded ecstasy as he switched from one finger to two and started pumping in and out of me, making a squelching noise with what already happened there. I didn't moan. I screamed. I screamed his name, I begged for more, he gave at my request, I begged for faster, he said he'd be happy to, and when I said harder, he had the nerve to actually go softer at the same quick pace as he laughed at my expense, only calming down my ire at that with kisses on my thighs, stomach, and a sensitive part of my hip. "Aziraphale! I'm gonna...again...I..."

"What do you want, My Dear?" He asked in a soft tone that seemed to caress my body as if his hands were doing it. That was the next sense. The touch. I felt him enveloping me without him having to try. I felt soft, protected, and cared for.

"I...I want...y-you i-inside!"

"I am inside..."

"No!" I huffed before I grabbed his large effort. "THIS! I want this! Inside! P-Please!"

He nodded his head and carefully aligned himself up to me. "Alright, I've heard it may hurt for your first time. I've also heard it wouldn't."

"We'll just have to see won't we? Now, please, stop fucking talking and just-AH!" He interrupted me by plunging directly into me, striking a very sensitive spot on the first try. "Th-There! A-Again if you can!" I panted. It hurt a bit, because he stretched me a little further than his fingers did, but it felt more than good or even amazing.

"As you wish, My Dear." He promised before kissing me, delving his tongue gently and far different from before. It was slow and almost...reverent. It tasted...that was the final thing...it tasted like...home. I tasted him and all the flavors in his mouth, the vibration on his tongue, of how gentle he was being, of how kind and careful he was being with all of this. With that, my eyes widened as I finally realized what all of it together meant. What all of that I was sensing...coming from him...nearly as easily as I could sense his lust. Something I, as a demon, would of course not be able to sense.

As he thrusted faster and harder into that spot, I held onto his back and nearly cried at the realization, at the feeling of it, at the curiosity of it all, at the wonder, the hope, the pleasure, and also...the small amount of pain. "A-Aziraphale!" I cried out as I came without warning.

"Cr-Crowley!" He apparently did the same pushed to the limit with my own orgasm as I watched as his back arch and his wings come out to wrap around us in a protective barrier, hushing all of the candles around us, and I had never seen a more beautiful sight in my life as the look of him at the height of pleasure, in the moonlight that now shine through the top of the tent, shining on his skin as if it were made to do so. I could also tell that he was happy. He was genuinely happy.

Eventually he pulled out, tucked his wings back in, grabbed a damp wash cloth and cleaned us both up until neither of was sticky or wet from fluids, and then finally, he brought a cover over me as he came to lay next to me in his bed. Neither of us clothed yet, but I did remember to put my wings back. "I...I enjoyed that." I told him. "I feel like I got to see the real bastard side of you."

"Yes, while I got to see the side of you that's a good person." He brought his hand gently to my cheek, rubbing his thumb back and forth with a shy sort of smile, but he was SO happy. So unbelievably happy. I could see it in his eyes, and if it weren't for me knowing that sense from earlier, I wouldn't know why. "I had an amazing time, Crowley. Would you um...want to do that again?"

"Yes." I answered quickly as I frantically nodded my head. "G-Sat-Somebody! Yes!"

"Maybe when you're done with being a woman, we can try it as two men."

"Wow..." I chuckled low. "...you really are a bastard, aren't you, Angel."

He shrugged with a sly smile, kissed my forehead, and turned over. "Go to sleep, Crowley."

I stared at him a good ten minutes before I decided to finally think it. _'I'm loved. He loves me. He loves me in a similar way as he did in Heaven, but this is...a bit more powerful. It hurts, but...he loves me. Gabriel was right. He loves me, and he likely won't ever tell me, because of 'Raphael' and because of me being a demon. He also likely won't tell me because of Heaven and Hell, but there's no doubt. I sensed love. I sensed I was being love. I was surrounded by not just love, but his specific love...for me.'_ I leaned over and kissed his shoulder, earning a small smile and a soft sigh before I turned over and had one final thought before drifting off to sleep. _'I love you too, Dearest.'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also...I'm trying to get better at writing 'E' so if it was bad, thank you for putting up with it! Y'all are amazing! <3


	11. What to Expect...

It had been two months since that night, and we had both been wrapped up in work almost immediately. I had to make a swift exit that morning, because Aziraphale was going to have Heavenly company, and though it would likely be Gabriel, Aziraphale wasn't supposed to know I was fine with Gabriel and he was fine with me. Two months since then and the night was playing in my head over and over again. Unfortunately as I was traveling through Rome, I realized something. Something that left me feeling cold, terrified, and helpless. _'GABRIEL! HELP!'_ I shouted in my mind as I felt my heart pounding far faster and harder than it ever had in my entire life. I ran into an alleyway where no one else was, clutching a hand to my chest as panic started to set in.

_'Raphael!? What's wrong!?'_

_'Come here! Help me! Please! I'm going to have a fucking panic attack! Help!'_ I had never asked for his help before and if I had, it was never like this. It was never this urgent, and I quickly realized as I slid my body down the wall that I was crying. Thankfully no one saw me or noticed me running away like I was, but I couldn't get rid of the terrified feeling in my chest.

In a brief flash of light, Gabriel appeared next to me and crouched down, placing a worried hand on my shoulder. "Raphael, what's wrong?"

"I...I need you to check something for me, b-but not here."

"I have a place nearby."

"Y-You do?"

"Yeah, figured I should have my own place near wherever you are frequenting the most, and that so happens to be Rome at the moment. No one from Heaven visits me except God. They've been instructed not to visit me at my personal home, so they don't. Come on, let's get you cleaned up and then I can check whatever you need me to check."

"A-Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure, Raph. You're paler than I've ever seen you and you're shaking like a leaf. Let's go, come on..." He grabbed my hand and wrapped an arm around my waist to help me up. "...that's it. Come on, it's not too far. Try and stay steady, alright?" I nodded my head, trying to hold back the tears that were continuing to fall.

When we got to his home, it had a garden in the front, it was large on the outside with pillars of marble, beautiful satin, silk, and transparent silk sheets hanging here and there of various different shades of purple and silver, and as we walked through his home, I noticed there were some pieces of furniture that made it feel like a home. We eventually made it to his room that had a very large bed with a purple and silver bed spread, and it looked extremely comfortable. "Y-You sleep?" I asked to try and quell the terror still beating in my chest.

"Yes. It's a human indulgence I actually take pleasure in. Now, let's get you washed up. The bathroom is just through there. I have a nice bathing pool all right? Will you let me help you?"

I nodded my head as I choked on a frightened sob. "I-I don't think I have m-much of a-a choice! I'm...I'm still shaking."

"Yes, I can see that." He stated with pure sympathy, which warmed my heart a bit, but it also hurt, because I was the only one left aside from God that was able to see this side of him anymore. He helped me get undressed all the way, and carefully helped me into the pool of miraculously warm water at just the right temperature. It was then that I realized I had scratched myself in several places in my run towards the alleyway, and I could feel the sting of a skid mark on my back, which was likely from sliding down the wall. He then got in without taking any of his clothes off.

"Gabriel! Your clothes-"

"-are able to be dried with a snap of my fingers. Come, let's get the dirt off of you and your wounds. You can tell me what happened after, okay?"

"O-Okay." I nodded my head as I watched him grab a soft looking wash cloth and some lavender soap. He started with my arms, my chest, then continued on my back. While he was slowly and carefully washing my back with the same amount of care that he did with the other parts, and I couldn't help but laugh despite everything.

"Found something funny, did you?"

"Yeah. Oh, if Heaven could see you now?"

"If Hell could see YOU!" He chuckled.

"If they could see EITHER OF US." I returned.

He finished washing me before rinsing my body off and got started on my hair. As he started washing my hair, I started to realize just how tiring sobbing and panicking can be, and I allowed myself to drift off to sleep, feeling he wouldn't mind.

When I woke up, I was in his large bed, and I was clothed in purple robes, and all of me smelled like lavender. I felt so soft, so comfortable, and so safe. I wanted to drift off to sleep, but the reason for my panic quickly returned, causing me to immediately sit up, pulling at my hair. "Raph. Calm down." A steady and strong hand gently pressed down on the hand that was gripping at my hair, guiding me to put it down. "Now...what happened?"

"W-Well...I...I um...you know h-how I told you that I was told to be a woman? As punishment?"

"Yes."

"A-And that I had to be COMPLETELY a woman. Parts and everything to add to the punishment."

"Yes."

"W-Well...C-Can you check t-to see if I...If I'm...P-Pregnant?"

"What?" He blinked at me with a shocked expression.

"Please."

"Is it...a human's or..."

"I-I'll tell you after you check, okay?" He nodded his head with a worried expression before guiding me to lay back down. He hovered his hands over my belly and my hips, a gentle white light coming from them, then the light turned a soft blue mixed with a gentle green. Once the colors appeared, Gabriel pulled his hands away with a shuddering gasp, and just stared at them. "Gabriel?"

"I..." He swallowed before nodding his head. He then looked at me, seemingly forcing himself to calm down. "...yes. You're pregnant."

"It's Aziraphale's." I replied as I placed my arm over my eyes, knowing that there was no way in Heaven or Hell that I'd be able to stop my tears.

"I...I could tell. Your aura and his were mixed together."

"What am I supposed to do, Gabriel!?"

"That's up to you. You can keep it or get rid of it. I don't suppose you'll be telling Aziraphale, which in my opinion is wrong, but if you want to know what I personally want you to do with it...I want you to raise it."

"WHAT!?" I gawked through my tears as I moved my arm to stare at him.

"Raise it like you raised Tana or Nova."

"That was different!"

"No, not really." He replied, quickly irritating me. "The only difference is that they didn't come from your body. That's all. They're still your children no matter what. Even if one of them currently resides in Heaven."

"O-Oh..." I breathed out.

"You didn't know?"

"No, I didn't know she made it there. I...I thought that maybe since I was her Father, that maybe...but..."

"No. She talks of you often. I spoke with her and told her the situation you're in and she thanked me. She thanked me for being there for you when She couldn't and while Aziraphale couldn't. Then, I left. I visit every now and then, but when I do, we talk about you. She laughs at the fact that you're a woman, and she said it must've been payback for all the years that you never understood her pain, but...now...you're pregnant with Aziraphale's child. What will you do?"

"I...I can't hide it from Hell. I'll...they'll let me have the baby, then they'll kill it, take it, and raise it as their own Hell spawn! I don't want that! I...I want to raise it. I-I do, but...I don't...I don't want them to take it away from me!" The tears became less like streaks and more like steady streams as they went down my cheeks, touching my ears, and going into my hair that Gabriel JUST washed.

"You could earn commendation. Do something completely wicked, evil, sinful, something! Then they'll have to give you commendation, granting you time to be pregnant without them monitoring you and you can live here, protected by the protective markings I have around the border of my home."

"Perhaps...if the commendation is big enough...I can get them to reduce my womanly punishment by cutting the commendation in half...if it's long enough.

"That seems like it might work. You better get started, but not today. Today you rest."

"I...I have a week of commendation left."

"Good. Use that time to think and plan. I'll have to be in Heaven most of the time, but whatever you want in my home is yours. Don't ask. You can use my bed to sleep, and you'll be safe until then."

A week went by a lot faster than I ever thought it could, but I actually did something that had my own hand in it rather than just the humans, and I didn't like it, but Hell ate it up! I introduced Orgies, wine with sex, and food with sex. They were willing to give me three years of commendation. I told them one year and I get to choose when I'm no longer a woman. I got Lucifer's personal sign off on my request. I nearly sobbed when I saw it and I will eternally blame the hormones even if they're not in full swing yet.

I just got dressed after taking a bath when Gabriel came back as a dove, but this time with a familiar looking owl accompanying him. They transformed back to their normal forms and I smiled at both of them, but my smile instantly faded when I noticed the immense concern and dread on Nova's face. "What's wrong, Nova?"

"Uncle Gabriel said...well...he said that you were pregnant. That it was Aziraphale's." She looked at my belly with an expression that read, 'I don't know how you want me to react about this.'

"He told you the truth." I nodded my head. "I'm about a month and a half along. Are you okay, Nova?"

"A-Am I okay!?" She let out a breathless scoff of what seemed to be disbelief before looking at Gabriel, who shook his head in exasperation. She then turned to look at me and tears started to fall from her eyes. "I'm going to have a little sibling that will live as long as me! Well...obviously not as long...I'll be older, but that's not what I'm worried about. Are YOU okay!? You're pregnant. You're a DEMON...pregnant with an ANGEL'S fledgling. I'm scared. I'm happy for you, and I'm excited to have a little sibling that I can help raise and teach when you have to be off doing demon duties...that is...if that's okay...but...I'm mostly scared."

"Will it matter to you that this fledgling will be biologically mine when you weren't?" I asked with the emotions getting hold of my mouth before my brain could come up with a logical response.

"Mother, it never bothered me in the slightest that we weren't biologically related. You're my Mother and when you're in male form, you're my Father. You're my parent. You raised me with the help of Uncle Gabriel and Zee Zee. So, it won't bother me that this fledgling will be born from you. Like I said, what's bothering me is if you'll be okay. Will you...will you even survive that? What about Heaven or Hell getting wind of it? Are you going to tell Zee Zee?"

"I...I don't think I'll tell Aziraphale."

"Raphael..."

"No!" I snapped at him. "You tell me, Gabriel! You tell me how you think Aziraphale, who is already afraid of being caught as merely my friend, how he might react to being a Father!? How do you think he'll react when he finds out he got me pregnant!? I'll tell you how he'll react! He won't speak to me! He'll tell me that it would be best to get rid of it! H-He'll..." Tears began to fall from my eyes without my say so as my heart ached.

"He didn't tell you to get rid of me." Nova stated with a voice of reason like she usually did when something was weighing heavy on my heart.

"You were different sweetheart. You were a product of an angel and a human. This...this is a product of Heaven and Hell."

"No." She hummed. "It's not." She came towards me as I sat down on the bed, and she scooted next to me, placing her hand on my stomach. "It's a product of love. You can't tell me he doesn't love you. Surely you know by now, and I know how much you love him."

"I...I found out..." I sniffed. "...I found out he loves me while we were having sex. I-It was the way he was treating me. It would be one thing just to be kind and gentle, but he was more than that. I...I can't quite explain it, but...I found out then and I nearly cried my eyes out." I let out a strange combination of a choked-sobbed-laugh as I shook my head, looking at her hand on my stomach before placing my hand over her's. "Not very demonic sounding, am I?"

"No, but you were with the one you love, thinking they could never love you, then you find out they can, and now you're pregnant. I think you're allowed to be a little emotional." She smiled softly at me. "Hey...will I get to raise them when you're off doing demon stuff, since you won't tell Zee Zee?"

"Yes, of course." I nodded before kissing her forehead. I then looked at Gabriel, who still stood in place with a worried look on his face. "What's wrong, Gabriel?"

"She made a fair point. What if...what if you don't survive it? Childbirth, I mean."

"I..." I swallowed a thick lump in my throat before continuing as I tried to push away the several ton weight of anxiety. "...I don't know, but I have to try. I don't want to get rid of it. I want to love it and give it happiness and choices and opportunities. I'm just worried about what God might-"

Swiftly interrupting me, a white light appeared next to me and as it vanished, SHE came out of the light with a brilliant smile. "Hello, Raphael."

"M-M-Mother!?"

"This...This is Her?" I heard Nova ask with a whispered sort of reverence and shock.

"Hello, Nova." God grinned at her. "I know quite a bit about you."

"Wh-What do you know?"

"I know that you're a Nephilim, that your biological mother is proud of you, she likes to watch you from Heaven every now and then, and she is glad that Crowley is your Mother or when the right form is had...Father. It makes her happy, and she's at peace with that. I know that your biological Father was one of my Principalities, but after he treated your mother in such a way, I couldn't allow him to live, so I burned him in Hellfire. I've allowed some Nephilim to live, but the world as well as the biblical writers don't need to know that. I know that Gabriel taught you how to transform into an owl. I know that you've traveled the world causing both mischief and blessings, I know that you've talked about the Archangel Raphael to get humans to believe in him. I know that you have no interest in romance at the moment, and that's fine. I know that you STILL try to practice fire. I could teach you if you like, but it would have to be normal mortal fire like the ones you're conjuring as of late. I know that you're extremely worried about your Mother."

"W-Wow." Nova stuttered.

"I know much more, but that would take a long time to describe. Right now, I'm here, because..." She then turned to face me again as she miracled a chair next to my side of the bed and sat down. "...you're worried I'll do something like take them away, or I'll curse them, or I'll do something that shows my disapproval."

"I...yes, Mother. I am. It's...It's been so long since I've seen you." I began to sob uncontrollably, because I remembered everything from OUR beginning. It hurt and now she was here, and I'm pregnant, and I'm scared, and I- "I...I miss you!" She got up and moved me so that she could comfortably hold me in her arms like I would Nova sometimes when she would cry, and she began to pet my hair as I sobbed into her dress, clutching the fabric for dear life.

"Shh...it's all right, my sweet Raphael. It's going to be okay. Gabriel, Nova, and myself will be here for you. It's going to be okay. I'm not going to do anything to your little fledglings. Well, I'll love them, but-"

I shot up, tears an all falling due to gravity, but I didn't care as I stared at her wide-eyed. "Fledglingssss!? M-More than one!?"

She giggled. God...Giggled. My Mother had the nerve to giggle! "Yes. Twins. You're having twins, my sweet Raphael."

Between her saying that she wouldn't do anything to them, that she was okay with me being pregnant, that she would love them, and now the fact that I'm having twins, I started sobbing again, but this time it was because I was happy. Almost as happy as I was when I found out that Aziraphale loved me. Almost. When I finally calmed down, I sniffed and looked up at her despite my newly formed headache and let out a nervous but happy laugh. "C-Can you tell me what gender they'll be, or will they have a gender?"

"Oh, but Raphael...what would be the fun in that?"

At that, Gabriel snorted out a laugh, before bursting out into a full blown clutching-your-stomach laugh. "She's got you there, Raph!"

I laughed through my remaining tears and nodded my head. "Fair enough, but...what about Aziraphale?"

She let out a heavy sigh as she pursed her lips off to the side in a half frown. "Well...that's up to you. You have always been able to tell him who you were, just not Heaven or Hell. The same goes with you being pregnant. I will not tell you the outcome if you tell him before the fledglings come or if you tell him when they're fully grown. You have to reach that on your own. Every action...or lack there of...results in a consequence. Whether good or bad...in this situation...depends on you, Aziraphale, and time. The distance in which you tell him anything. Gabriel was right all those years ago. There will eventually be a time when you reach 'Too Late', and you're approaching it. I won't tell you by how many years, but it's approaching. If I were you, which I'm not, I would at least tell him I'm pregnant. The outcome...might not be what you think. I'll check in every now and then, and the fledglings will have my own protection over them. I assure you. Also, no...you won't die in childbirth. I'll be back before you know it. Good luck, Raphael." She kissed my head and got up to step into a pillar of light before vanishing from all of our sight.

"Did..." I started with complete disbelief. "...that really just happen?" I asked as I turned to face a shocked Gabriel and an overjoyed Nova.

"I'm going to have siblings! Little tiny siblings! Oh! I can't wait!"

"I almost can't either." Gabriel agreed once he got out of his shocked stupor. "And I do believe it DID happen. You just got Mother's blessing. Now, she also gave you very sound and very strict advice on telling Aziraphale."

"I'd have to have my own place first, Gabriel. Once we do that...I won't even fight if Nova brings him by. I'll tell him."

"And if you don't?" Gabriel huffed with a look that said, 'You know I don't believe you, right?' I couldn't blame him for it either.

"Then Nova has my permission to tell Aziraphale who I used to be in Heaven." At that, both of their faces dropped. Not in shock, astonishment, or even concern. It was almost...sad. "What?"

"You...you would have ME tell him that his mate, who he thought was dead...was alive this whole time? That..."

"That's something YOU need to tell him. It would be unbelievably wrong if anyone else were to do it."

"He...He's moved on from me."

"He hasn't!" Gabriel growled. "You've no idea what he's like when he sees Sandalphon standing in your place! He still looks at him with fury, agitation, and scorn swirling in his eyes. He acts all nervous and anxiety ridden, and he usually is, but mostly I think it's so that he doesn't kill him! He's not over you! He's still in love with you, but..." He started to calm down much to my relief, because it was rare that I saw him like that. "...but he's also...he's also in love with you. He still loves the angelic you, but he also loves the demonic you. If anything, you have his love more completely than any human has ever obtained love, because this means he loves you no matter what, and as such...he'll likely be joyful at the news."

Stunned from his words, I just simply nodded my head. He was right, of course, but I hadn't realized Aziraphale was acting like that in Heaven. "You need to tell him, Mother." Nova spoke softly with a determined look in her eyes and a gentle sympathetic smile on her face.

"Fine." I relented. "But we DO have to get me my own place first. Somewhere not too nearby, but still in Rome and still...a large home. We'll need room if I'm going to bloody well have twins!"

"Leave that to us." Gabriel grinned. "Nova can be there with you when you tell Gabriel. You'll need someone there, and as much as I want to..."

"I know." I nodded. "He can't see you with me. Not yet, but maybe someday."

"I honestly don't know at the moment, but maybe." With that, Gabriel placed a hand on Nova's shoulder, giving her a knowing smile before turning into a dove and flying out.

"We'll get you the best house, Mother! You'll see." She turned into an owl and followed him out.

I looked up at the ceiling and felt as if all of the tears from earlier were nothing compared to the endless anxiety and joy swirling in my heart and soul. "Thank you, Mother." I whispered as I thought about how thankful I was to have her blessing, to have Nova, to have Gabriel, and to have Aziraphale. I only hope that when I do tell him that I'm pregnant that he doesn't immediately regret what we did.


	12. ...When You're Expecting...

I was now four months pregnant, SHOWING, and finally completely settled into my own home. It had three rooms. One for Nova, one for me, and one for the fledglings. Their room was in between mine and Nova's. There was a large Garden in the back, a small one in the front, a pond in the middle, a huge kitchen, and a bathing pool twice the size of Gabriel's. My bedspread was black and white. Gabriel's decision. He thought it would be funny. It was...but now that I know that Aziraphale will be here any minute with Nova, who likely told him an emergency level lie, I was feeling like it was probably ridiculous and I was nervous, and I was scared, and...the sound of large wings coming closer and closer to me as I sat at a bench in the back Garden made my nerves shoot to Alpha Centauri and back. "Where is she!?" I heard Aziraphale ask. I made a point to get up and quickly hide my belly out of his sight until it was time to show him.

"She should be in the Garden." Nova breathed out, clearly out of breath from having to catch up with Aziraphale, who sounded more panicked about whatever she told him than anything in the world. "Zee Zee, you need to calm down."

"Calm down!? You tell me that something's happened to Crowley, and you tell me to calm down!? Dear Girl, I'm afraid you may not know me as well as either of us thought. The Garden? This way?"

"Yes, but Zee Zee...I..." It seemed that he rushed ahead of her to come find me as he appeared, and Nova followed behind with an exasperated expression.

My eyes locked with his, and my heart dropped to my feet as I recognized the look in his eyes. It was the same look he gave me as I was dying. Scared, worried, and desperate. He rushed towards me, but I quickly held my hands up from where I was at, behind a dense rose bush that stopped just below my chest. "Please...stay there." I asked him, but then I saw a look of terrified pain cross his face.

"Please, tell me what's wrong, Crowley! Nova said something happened to you, but I...well...I don't believe I allowed her to explain. I...the look on her face...she was hesitant and scared of telling me. What happened?"

I let out a heavy sigh as I looked at Nova. "Could you please go and prepare dinner?"

"Are you sure?" She asked me as her gaze shifted to Aziraphale.

"Yes, please." I nodded then waited for her to leave. Once she was gone I looked at Aziraphale, who seemed about ready to go into a full panic attack if I didn't tell him soon. "She's right, something happened. Although...it was around the time of Jesus' crucifixion." He tilted his head in confusion, but the worry was still there in his eyes. "Angel, I need you to sit on that bench there, close your eyes, and don't open them until I say. I'm going to touch you, but you can't open your eyes, okay?"

"Crowley..."

"Please." I quickly interrupted him.

"All right." He sighed before doing as I asked.

I walked over to him, feeling the leaves and grass beneath my bare feet as the distance between me and him seemed farther than anything I've ever traveled. I swallowed the lump in my throat and stood in front of him. I then took both of his hands, watching for him to keep his word, he was, and I places both palms on either side of my large and ever growing belly, quickly gaining a gasp from him as he purposefully pressed his hands just a little tighter to my belly. "You can open your eyes now." When he opened his eyes, I don't know what I had expected, but confusion, concern, MORE worry, and a glimmering protectiveness was definitely NOT what I had expected. "I'm pregnant, Aziraphale."

"Y-Yes, I-I...I can...can feel that. S-So...a h-human got you pregnant? I...we have to um...I can't let you...Hell can't find out..."

"No, Aziraphale, you misunderstand...and have apparently misheard. I said it happened around the time of Jesus' crucifixion." I sat down next to him, holding both of his hands in mine, swallowing another lump in my throat, but this one just didn't want to go the fuck down! So, with a shaky breath, I looked up at one of the trees in the garden and saw a familiar dove. That helped the lump go down a bit more. So, with a shaky breath, I looked him in the eyes and continued. "They're yours. You...you got me pregnant, I'm having twins...and they're yours."

Again, when I had expectations on how he would react, I wasn't sure what to expect, but fainting almost immediately was NOT ONE OF THEM! Gabriel immediately came down from the tree, picked Aziraphale up in his arms like I had when I took him out of the library, and we walked to my room. He set him down carefully on my bed, miracled a cage, and put himself inside with some bird seed that he wouldn't eat. _'Good luck, Raph.'_

_'Thanks. Neat trick. Thought you weren't going to be here.'_

_'I'm a sap, who worries about his sister. Leave me alone.'_

_'I'm never going to let you live it down!'_ I grinned at him before sitting next to Aziraphale, carding my fingers through his white cloud soft curls.

_'We'll see.'_

It didn't take long for Aziraphale to come to. Only about thirty minutes, but when he did, he immediately looked up at me and shot up like a meteor shower. "Whoa!" I said as he began to seem dizzy. "Steady there." I continued with shaking hands resting on his arms.

"Y-Y-You're t-telling me to be s-steady!? Y-You're p-p-pregnant! A-And th-th-they..." His eyes widened when he realized what I had said earlier. "T-T-T-Twins!?"

"Yes, twins. Angel...are you...are you okay?'

"I...I should be asking you that! They...they're _mine?_"

"I've only ever had sex with one being." I told him with a small smile at seeing the look of awe on his face. "Found out about two months after it happened. Please...I need to know. Are you okay?"

"In exactly what way, Crowley?"

"In all the ways, I suppose." I looked down at my hands that were clasped over my belly. "Are you okay with this? Are you okay with me? Are you okay mentally? Are you okay emotionally? Do you regret what we did? Do you...do you not want them?" With the last question I finally looked up at him and there was a look of horror on his face.

"Crowley...you're pregnant...with MY children! How...How could I NOT be okay with that!? I...I'm going to be a...a...a Father! I...I'm overjoyed, overwhelmed, and of course I'm okay with you! You're one of the few people I trust most. Mentally? Emotionally? That...could take some time! No, I don't regret what we did at all, and if I weren't afraid of the risk it may have on the...the...fledglings...I would like to repeat it, and of COURSE I want them! They're mine too, but that...that is...if you...if you don't mind me raising them too." I couldn't help it. Stupid hormones. Stupid adorable, kind, and loving Aziraphale! I started crying with my head in my hands. "H-Hey..." He whispered quietly as he scooted closer to me so he could press his hand against my back and gently rub up and down. "...Did I say something wrong?" I shook my head. "Then what's wrong."

"I...I thought..." I began through my tears, but I couldn't say anything through how relieved I felt.

"Take your time, My Dear."

I did. It took me about fifteen minutes to calm down. "I thought..." I began with a still shaking voice. "...that you would tell me I should get rid of them, or that you don't want them, or that you don't want to talk to me again again. I don't know...these stupid hormones have me crying all the damn time time now!"

"No, Crowley." He laughed with a sigh, making me feel even more relieved. "I'm so happy! I'm just afraid of what Heaven and Hell might do to them."

"We won't have to worry about that. Besides, Nova will be raising them while I'm gone, or while you're gone. So..."

"What do you mean we won't have to worry about Heaven or Hell? Won't they sense a fledgling made by an Angel and a Demon?"

"Probably, but Nova is strong, and we'll be able to sense when they're in danger." I tried to reassure him while thinking, _'There's also the fact that they'll receive God's blessing and Gabriel's attention, but you don't know that. If you only knew!'_

"I hope you're right." He sighed as he looked at my belly. He then placed a loving hand on the top swell of it and he kissed my belly.

"Aziraphale..." I started with a whisper.

"I can't wait to meet the two of you. I'm sure at least one of you will have your Mother's lovely eyes."

_'Could you be any clearer that you love me!?'_ I thought in my head, but then another thought occurred to me. _'He...probably doesn't know he's doing it. Just like he didn't realize he was about to discorporate me after the Library burned down and after he found the mark on my chest.' _I cleared my throat and shook my head lightly to push the thoughts away. "Angel, there's nothing lovely about my snake eyes. Perhaps they'll have your eyes. At least one of them should have your white hair."

"White hair?" He snorted out a laugh, which was absolutely beautiful compared to the nervous flutter in my chest and the questions that rested in my soul. "On an infant? Are you sure?"

"Better than my blood red hair."

"It's not blood red, My Dear. It's scarlet, and it shines rather remarkably during a sunset."

"Careful, Angel, I might think you're in love with me."

_'Raphael! Dangerous territory!'_ Gabriel warned in my head.

"I..." He stopped and retracted his hand.

"Aziraphale, it's okay." I quickly tried to reassure him. "I know what I am. I know you can't."

_'What the Hell!?'_ Gabriel screamed in my mind, causing me to wince slightly, but I brushed it off as a sigh.

_'Well, CAN he!? Last I checked, I'm the enemy and Heaven wants me destroyed!'_

_'Fair point, but Raph...'_

_'No buts. He can't. I can feel it in what he does and I'll be able to see him love our children. I'm content for now.'_

_'He NEEDS to KNOW who you WERE!'_

_'NOT YET!'_

_'Raphael...'_ His tone came as a warning, but I glared at him as he started fluttering in the cage he put himself in.

"Crowley..." He let out a heavy sigh as he finally looked at me.

"It was just a joke, Angel. However, I'm sure you will love your fledglings to pieces."

"Yes!" He huffed out a relieved laugh that seemed to lift a weight off his shoulders, placing that same weight on my shoulders. "I'll love them with all I have. I'll teach them what I can and...OH! They're powers are sure to be interesting. We'll have to warn them not to use them too much as it often leads to untimely demise when humans or creatures that look human show evidence of powers."

"True." I nodded before grabbing his hands and putting them back on my belly. "Hey, Aziraphale."

"Hmm?" He questioned as his eyes widened, looking at my hands atop his.

"We're going to be parents." At my words, tears started to fall from his eyes as a wobbly smile made it's way on his lips.

"Yes...we are. When are you expecting them?"

"Good question, hadn't figured that out just yet. I was just going to let them get here when they get here. Nova is going to help deliver when it happens. If you're not here, she'll go find you immediately after they're born."

"I can't wait." He grinned as he looked at my belly with more love than I think I've ever seen on his face.


	13. ...TWINS!

Nine and a half months pregnant, and I'm DONE being pregnant! I've been done around month six or seven! When they first kicked, I was SO happy, but then they wouldn't STOP! I'm pretty sure they were sparring in there. One with a tiny staff and one with a tiny sword! God visited a few times to check on me, and every time she would just grin with that same knowing smile, wish me luck, and leave, but NOW...Oh, NOW, they had stopped kicking, my stomach had dropped, and I felt like a beached whale! Aziraphale visited too, and anytime I told him how I felt about my size, he'd tell our fledglings that I was being ridiculous and that I was beautiful. He loves me, I know it. It's obvious. To me anyway and anyone with eyes, but I also know that he may be holding himself back, OR he really and truly doesn't realize what he's doing. He's very intelligent, but on some things concerning himself...that's another story!

Either way, I found myself in the Garden, checking on the new apple tree that Gabriel had Nova plant for his amusement while Gabriel and Nova were watering the rose bushes when I felt a sharp pain, nearly pushing me to my knees. I cried out above what my own ears would allow me to hear, quickly getting their attention. "Mother?"

"Are they coming?" Gabriel asked, but then my water broke. "Shit! Nova, get everything ready!"

"Right away, Uncle!"

As she went off, Gabriel helped me to my room and took the large blanket off of the bed before laying me down on it. "Alright, Raph. Just...just breathe."

"Really!?" I snapped. "We don't actually need to breathe you know!"

"Well, you do! You're pregnant and in labor! Do as I say or I swear I will tell your fledglings how embarrassingly dopey in love you were with Aziraphale not a week after being mated with him!"

"Fine!" I growled as I started to breathe like Nova had taught me, but it felt as if it was causing more harm than good! "I fucking hurt! They're going to split me wide open!" Tears of pain started falling from my eyes when Nova rushed in with everything.

"I used some minor miracles to get everything warm, but here's what I have so far. Some rags, towels, hot water, and two warm blankets for the fledglings. If I need to get more I can."

"N-No..." I shook my head. "...I just want them out! I hurt so much!"

Nova gave me a sympathetic smile before coming up next to me on the bed to hold my hand. "You're not going to think about the pain once they're here, Mother. I promise."

"And how would you know?" I shot at her, knowing she didn't deserve it, but I just wanted someone to hurt as much as I was hurting!

"I've helped deliver a number of babies in my travels. You know that."

"I know that! I fucking know! This just...AHHHHH!" I screamed as another harsh wave of pain shot through my hips, up my spine, then back down again. "I-It's like they're BOTH trying to come out at the same fucking time!"

"Just breathe..." Gabriel started, but I snapped a glare to him before grabbing his robe.

"You tell me to breath one more time, Brother, and I will...AHHHHHHHH FUCK! M-MAKE IT STOP!"

"Fine threat you have there." Gabriel stated, but the sarcasm was palpable like the tears going into my mouth from how much pain I was in.

I was in labor for two hours before the first one decided to _grace_ us with their presence! "I see the head!" Nova called out.

"Good! Yank on it and get it out!" Gabriel slapped my arm with a disapproving glare. "OW! What the fuck!?"

"You don't yank on a baby, you imbecile! You could hurt it!"

"I'm tired, irritable, and I SO thought I was done with being pregnant before. FUCKING NOPE! I'm done with it now! This hurts! I want it over with!"

"Then push!" Nova snapped, so I did. She was scarier than God sometimes.

It killed me to push. It felt like my spine was trying to come undone with ever muscle and every nerve while Gabriel wiped the sweat and tears off my face and neck. Eventually, I pushed one more time and heard the sweetest sound my tears had ever heard. I heard my little fledgling cry! I sobbed as my heart instantly became too big for my chest. "You've got one more, Raph. Just one more."

I nodded my head while he left me to help take clean and take care of my first fledgling so that Nova could continue to help me deliver the second baby. "This one seems smaller than the last. Should be a tad easier. Now, push!" I did as she asked and it took another thirty minutes. Easier my ass! However, I soon heard that sound again, and went boneless while she continued to do whatever else she needed to do.

"L-Let me...I want...I want to see them. What are they? Do they have wings? What color is their hair?" As breathless as I was, Nova was right. I just wanted to hold my fledglings. I didn't care about the pain I just went through. That sound was everything to me.

With the proudest grin I had ever seen on him, Gabriel came over with my little bundle of joy. "Seems you've got two boys. This is the first. Yes, they have wings. Their wings are both a shining silver. A perfect combination of yours and Aziraphale's wings. This one though, seems to have your hair color."

I took the small fledgling from him and immediately noticed the weight and size of him. "This...this is the first one?" Gabriel nodded. "But...Nova said the second was smaller! I-Is...Is the second one okay?"

"The second one is fine, Mother. Just cleaning him up now. How about you start breastfeeding that one."

I nodded my head and moved to do so, knowing that Gabriel wouldn't be bothered by it, but paused when the small fledgling opened his eyes. "G-Gabriel?"

"What is it?"

"This one has both mine and Aziraphale's eyes, but there's one problem."

"That would be?" He looked closer at the baby, gasping at what he saw. "Oh...that's...that's your eye color before you fell. The left is Aziraphale's...the right is..."

"Raphael's." I nodded as I swallowed a lump in my throat. "Nova, what color scheme does the one you're holding have?"

"The hair is blonde like Zee Zee's, but the eyes...are also different colors. The right matches Zee Zee's while the left is different, but it doesn't quite look like your snake eyes. It looks...human-ish."

"Guess it's time for you to own up to who you used to be. There's no denying those eyes." Gabriel stated. "Aziraphale would ALWAYS look at your eyes when he got the chance, and don't try to back out now. You promised him. Now's the time for consequences, Brother. I'm sorry. I'll be here until you're done breastfeeding both, but then I have to go. God should be here while I'm gone and while they're napping. Nova should be back after God leaves, I should think."

"I will." Nova confirmed.

I agreed with a small nervous hum before breastfeeding the first fledgling. I burped him when he was done and set him down in the cot next to my bed while Nova held the other so that Gabriel could snap his fingers to replace the linens and my clothes. I then breastfed the other, repeated the action and soon they were both sleeping next to each other in the cot. For a while they fussed and we didn't know what was wrong, but then Gabriel reach in and made it to where their hands were touching. After that, they went to sleep almost instantly. "I have to go and so does Nova. Will you be all right?" Gabriel questioned cautiously.

"Yes, I'll be fine. Time to own up to a lot of things. I just hope I haven't reached 'Too Late'."

"I hope you haven't either. That is...if you DO tell him."

It had been nearly three hours since they both cleaned up and left. God came and blessed them with a shield of protection from Heaven and Hell while doing the same for Nova so that she could help raise them without being afraid that either would come after her or the fledglings, and as I was thinking how grateful I was, I soon heard the sound of wings flapping with excitement. "Where are they?" Aziraphale whispered after tucking his wings away. Nova closed the door quietly before standing guard at it.

"They're over here." I told him as I pointed to the cot next to the bed. "One has my hair, one has your hair, and both have silver wings."

"Oh!" He gasped, placing his hands to his mouth as he looked at them. "Wh-What are their names?"

"I haven't named them yet." He looked confused and worried so I quickly clarified, "That was something I thought we should do together, but...there's something you should know. Something I should've told you a long time ago. I...I need you to-" Just as I was about to tell him to sit down, the first fledgling started to cry, and was swiftly followed by the other. "C-Can you hold the white haired one while I feed the red haired one?"

"Of course!"

"Thanks, I just haven't figured out how to do them both at the same time yet."

He picked up the one I told him to, asking me, "What was it you wanted to-" He immediately cut himself off when the fledgling opened his eyes. "Crowley...?"

"I'll explain once they're down again, please, just...let me explain."

"You better." He choked out, tears threatening to fall as his gaze hit me much like the lightning did during the whole Ark situation. Once they were both fed and put back down for their naps, Aziraphale placed a gentle miracle over them so that they would sleep peacefully through whatever fight we were about to have. However, when he looked at me, he was anything BUT gentle. His eyes held a cold fire that could only come from some of the rarest of stars, and it held a promise. If he didn't like my answer, he was going to either smite me, or drown me. I had NEVER seen that look in his eyes, and it was completely terrifying. "They're asleep. Speak, Demon!" He demanded as he crossed his arms. There was no longer a warmth in his voice. It no longer held any love. It held the feeling of being deceived, it held fury, it held wrath, and it held pain. SO MUCH pain.

"I-I..."

"Now is not the time to stutter, serpent!" He spat my title out as if it were the venom I could possess at will, and I felt it slowly poisoning me with guilt, terror, anguish, and a silent plea in my soul for him to listen. "Why do they have my eyes...AND my mates eyes!? Both of them. They both have different eye colors and one of them belongs to Raphael. What trickery is this!? How dare you alter our fledglings!?"

"I didn't!" I snapped with a fury of my own. "Aziraphale, I SWEAR to you on everything that I am and was, I would never alter our fledglings! I would never trick you. Not ever!" My bravery took hold of my heart, guiding my mouth to continue. "I know I should've told you sooner. Much sooner. I should've told you as soon as I saw you again..." I turned to Nova and let out a heavy sigh. "Nova, please leave. Don't ask if I'm okay or if I'm sure, just do as I say." She nodded and left without another word. Once the door was closed I turned back to Aziraphale, who somehow held more of a betrayed gaze than before. "I told you once that my mate was still in Heaven. I told you the truth. He is...sometimes. I told you that I loved him. I still do. However, that's because...I used to be the Archangel Raphael."

If I thought I saw fury before, it was nothing compared to what I was met with in a millisecond. With conjured sword in hand, he used a miracle to set it alight, jumped on the bed and held it against my throat with his wings out and full, his body radiating Holy Light and his eyes illuminated by Holy Wrath. "You dare claim to be him!? I've told you about him! I've told you almost everything! Even if I asked you to tell me something he once knew, you might know it, because I've spoken so much about him! You have no right to have his name on your lips, Demon! You fell! My mate DIED! He died IN MY ARMS! He died a HERO! You're nothing but a disgusting demon! You are just NOTHING!"

"Aziraphale...please..." I held my hands up, fresh tears falling from my face as my heart pounded, threatening to crack, break, and bleed. That's when I realized I had one final way to prove it to him. "I-I-I can prove it, PLEASE! L-Let me prove it to you. Just...put your sword away. If you're still not satisfied, I won't fight you and you can have them, okay? I-If I can't seem to prove to you that I used to be Raphael I...I..." I looked at my sleeping fledglings and choked out a sob. "...I'll give them to you. I...I know I don't deserve them anyway."

Every ounce of negative energy left him. The fury died, the Holy Wrath was soothed, the Holy Light was doused, and the pain grew into confusion and concern behind a thin sheet of ice called heartbreak as the sword vanished entirely and he staggered off the bed and fell to his knees, looking at our sleeping fledglings. "Y-You can't...you can't give them up."

"If I'm discorporated, I won't have a choice. They'll see that something happened to my body BEFORE I was discorporated and they'll...they have ways of making even the strongest of demons talk. Please, just...let me prove it to you."

"There's nothing you can do to prove it to me."

"Yes, there is."

"You know everything about him!"

"Yes, I do, because I WAS him. Come here, please."

"No, I won't!"

"Dearest, please." He gasped and a sliver of hope entered my aching and still pounding heart.

He got up and started coming towards me. "You better have the best proof in the universe, Crowley. I'm...I'm losing it here, and honestly...I'm not sure I want you to be right. If you are...that means I tried to kill my mate twice, and that I moved on from my mate, only to...you better be right."

"I am. Come here. Place your ear against the middle of my chest and listen. Listen and with your hand..." I grabbed his hand and placed it above my soul. "...and feel."

He did as I asked, but as soon as he did, he choked on a sob as he quickly backed away from me all the way to the other side of the room, gripping tightly to his chest as his sobbing worsened. "Y-Y-You're..."

As much as I wanted to, I didn't go and comfort him, I didn't hold him, I didn't rush to reassure him, I didn't make any move to stop those tears. I didn't even look at him once he slid down the wall with his fist still clutched to his chest. I looked at my own hands in front of me, my heart feeling like a black hole of uncertainty. "Now what, Dearest? What will you do, now that you know your mate is fallen? What will you do now that you know it was ME who died in your arms a so called 'hero'? What will you do now that you know your mate is nothing but a disgusting demon? What will you do now that your mate is nothing?" It pierced my soul like a Holy weapon to spit his words back at him with my shaking voice, but his words hurt me more than any weapon could.

"O-Oh, God, I...Crowley, I didn't..."

"Don't!" I pleaded through my tears as I finally looked at him. "Don't you dare tell me that you didn't mean it. Don't you dare tell me that you were JUST angry and heartbroken. Don't you dare tell me that you were JUST trying to defend your mate's honor. Don't you dare make ANY attempt at taking what you said and almost did...back. You can't. It's done." It was true. He did it. He said it. He hurt me in ways I never thought he would be capable of hurting me, but I still loved him with everything I had and I watched as he grew paler and paler by the second as I spoke. The guilt, the dread, and the horror in his eyes became deeper and deeper, and now, his eyes and cheeks completely wet with a river of tears on either side of both eyes. I did this. I knew I did. I should've told him sooner. If I had...this wouldn't have happened. I know that he feels guilty enough for the both of us, which is why my next words are spoken with everything I am. Heart, mind, body, grace, and soul. "I forgive you."

If anything that seemed to make it worse as buried his face in his hands, his legs sliding in front of him. I couldn't let it go on. His pain. The pain I'm responsible for by not saying anything sooner. So, I got up from the bed and despite still being in a lot of pain, I tried to make my way to him. He finally looked up, his face twisted in horror, and I collapsed onto the ground, my vision going black due to the pain and how hard I hit the floor. "Raphael!" I heard him call out, but his voice was going. It was getting muffled. I barely heard my daughter's cry of panic before I no longer heard anything or felt anything anymore.

When I came to, I didn't exactly come all the way. I could use all my sense, but movement was not an option. Therefore, I had no way of opening my eyes when I heard Aziraphale praying. "...anything! Please, God! I know I don't deserve her! I know I have no right! I know don't deserve even an ounce or a speck of her forgiveness, Lord! I know I can never take back what I've said and done! I...my hands are still shaking, Lord! I don't...I can't...what I did and said...it's...it's unforgivable, yet she...Oh, God, please! She's been asleep for a month now!"

_'A fucking month!? What about our fledglings!?'_

"I beg you! You brought him back somehow...when she WAS a He. He died, I know he died, I felt it just like everyone else did! You brought him back from all the way back then! Please! I'll be better! I...I don't know how, but I will! I'll do anything! Just please! Please bring her back to me! I'll fall if that's what you want! I can't...please! I just got her back and I...Oh God, what have I done!? She had JUST given birth that day and I held a sword to her throat! Oh, God...I'm so sorry! Please!"

A door opened, gaining a gasp and the sound of tears being wiped away. "Zee Zee...they're crying again. I fed them and changed them and burped them like you said, but they won't stop crying."

"I-I'll be right there."

"Do you want me to stay here with Mother?"

"I-If you don't mind." I heard him get up with a sniffle, walk, then stop. "Nova, I never asked...did you...did you know who she was to me?"

"I did."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"It wasn't my place to say anything. It was something she needed to tell you, but she was so terrified that you wouldn't love her anymore, that it wasn't the right time for you to know, that she'd mess it up somehow, and when she found out she was pregnant...she was terrified that you wouldn't want them. That you would think it be best if she got rid of them...before they were born. She was terrified of a lot."

"I...I did this. I...I know she said she forgave me, but I...I don't think I can...not for myself."

"How about you stay here a bit longer and I'll figure something out about them, okay? I've delivered and took care of so many infants, I've lost count. I'm sure I can think of something. Maybe their wings need adjusting or they need another bath. Stay here, Zee Zee. She might wake up while you're gone, and besides, you have a year of commendation to get through. You've got time. Do you want me to bring you anything to eat?"

"I'm not hungry, Nova, but thank you. Tell them I love them."

"They still need names, you know."

"I-I can't!" He choked out a sob. "She...Crowley...she said...she said it was something we should do together, and I...I can't."

"Okay, okay..." Nova whispered in a gentle tone. "...no names yet then."

"I-I'l stay here, if you don't mind."

"Not at all. Keep an eye on Mother for me, Zee Zee."

"Of course." I heard him sit back down and felt him take my hand in his as the door closed. "Oh...what am I going to do when you...if you...do wake up? What could I ever hope to say to you? Four thousand years, My Dear, and I can't imagine the toll it had on you, and yet...I dared to...I al-almost..." The tears were back again and he rested his head on the back of my hand as if pleading for forgiveness.

_'I can't let him be like this! Move you stupid body! Move! I'm awake! Now do as I SAY!' _I pushed as much will power and imagination through my body that I could and I realized just how much pain I was in. _'Just how hard did I fall? Could having given birth that day affected it?' _I willed my eyes to open and I saw how much of a mess, Aziraphale was. His hair was a mess, his whole body was shaking and paler than I had ever seen it, his clothes were in disarray, and his face was so tear-stained, I wondered if he had begun crying that day and simply hadn't stopped. _'Move!'_ I commanded my body, and I was able to twitch the hand he was holding, causing him to quickly lift his head to look at my open eyes with a gasp. _'TALK!'_ I growled at my mouth, and I was glad it was listening. I was able to give him a soft smile and say, "Hello, Dearest." It felt SO good to say that word again. I didn't realize how much I might miss a word. I know I said it earlier, but to be able to calmly use it...it was a weight lifted off of my entire body, not just my shoulders.

"I...h-how can you smile at me?"

"How could I not?" I asked as I shakily brought my hand up to his face. "You've been crying."

"Yes." He quickly sat back to wipe the tears away.

"Have you eaten since I fell on the floor?"

"No."

"Have you slept?"

"I can't."

"But you used to love sleep." I furrowed my brow in concern while the rest of my body seemed to get the idea it was supposed to restart now.

"I know. I can't. I keep...I tried. Once. A week after you fell on the floor...and I...in the dreams I would have...I would...I would go through with discorporating you, and I can't..."

"Hey, it's all right."

"No! It's not!" He shook his head as he dropped his hands to his knees to look at me. "I...I almost discorporated you...AGAIN!"

"Well..." I moved to sit up, but was caught by Aziraphale's strong worried hands as he helped me sit up.

"Please...don't...don't get up. I...I don't think I can handle it if you...not again. Please." I nodded my head and sat there, looking at him.

"Well..." I continued. "...between almost discorporating me twice...and me not telling you who I used to be for four thousand years? I'd say we're nearly even, because trust me...I feel like an idiot for not telling you sooner."

"You are." He nodded, but there was a smile there. "The biggest idiot I've ever met."

Despite him unable to officially say it, because of Heaven and Hell, I heard the 'I love you for it' that was hidden in his words. "Yeah, but Aziraphale...what happened...with me falling on the floor. That's not your fault."

"It is, though." He sighed as he began to mess with his ring. "If I...Hadn't reacted poorly, then you wouldn't have come towards me to comfort me. You had just given birth mere hours before I arrived. Then...I...I said those horrible things. I held a SWORD to your throat, Crowley! I...I made you so frightened that you...that you were going to...give up the fledglings you had known for just a few hours. I...there's no forgiving that, no matter what you say. It was my fault, and you won't convince me otherwise."

"Fine, I won't try, but I do forgive you. You're here now, and you've been taking care of our fledglings. I heard a little of you talking to God and to Nova before I was able to open my eyes. Our fledglings don't have names yet, and I'm interested in finding out how you fed them while I was out cold."

"I...well..." A blush formed on his face as he started to stutter. "...You...You were leaking quite a bit while you were asleep. You were still producing milk, so I...I filled up infant bottles with it and sometimes I would feed them and sometimes Nova would feed them. You make enough for both of them and then some. So...I started...doing that."

I blinked at him a few times before throwing my head back to laugh. "You milked me! You milked me like a damn cow!"

"Oh! Hush, you! It worked didn't it!? They're fed and they-"

The door opened with Nova holding both fledglings that were still crying apparently. "OH! Mother! You're awake! Good! I think they want you. Nothing I do seems to be helping."

"Okay." I grinned as I held my arms out so she could hand me both of them. Once they were in my arms, they stopped almost immediately. "Hello, little ones. You've been misbehaving for your big sister and your Father it seems." They began to sniffle at my scolding, which caused a smile to form on my face. "That's all right though. You missed me and that's okay. I love you both."

"W-Wait...so you'll still let me..." Aziraphale started with an astonished expression.

"Of course I will. You're their Father. I can teach them how to be mischievous, sneaky, cunning, and persuasive while you teach them how to be good, vigilant, kind, crafty, and fierce. They'll be strong enough on their own, but they can be fiercely strong, kind, or determined. So...there's that."

"O-Oh..." He breathed out. "...w-well, they ate just thirty minutes ago or so..."

"So, they're ready for a nap, but they're not taking one?" Both Nova and Aziraphale nodded. "My little rebellious fledglings, but I can't let you nap yet. You need names. I think they should have universe names. Something in the universe that we created together."

"I think that would be a great idea." Nova grinned. "It should be something the two of you created together. Why not the constellations? God named them before they gained their names and there are still some of them yet to be named, so why not?"

"That's a brilliant idea, Nova." Aziraphale agreed. "Could I name the one with your hair while you name the one with my hair?"

I smiled as I nodded my head urging him to take the red headed fledgling. "But, if we don't like the sound of the name, we have to be honest. They'll be stuck with the names for forever."

"Right." He said as he looked down at the no longer fussy fledgling.

I looked down at the one in my arms and couldn't help but think of one name with that white hair and stars in his eyes just like his Father Aziraphale. "This one is Draco." I stated as if it were definite and I hoped that Aziraphale felt the same, because I can't see him as anything else but a Draco.

"A good strong name, My Dear." My heart pounded with joy as I held Draco closer to my chest, giving him the tightest, but gentlest of hugs. "This one...is Orion."

I beamed at him with pride. Those were the constellations we worked on together and had the most fun making. It was fitting. "Draco and Orion it is."

"Why was I named Nova, then?"

"Oh, I thought that one was obvious." Aziraphale said with a smirk. "A Supernova is a powerful and luminous stellar explosion."

"He's right."

"Wow...my name is amazing!"

"I certainly thought so." I stated as I looked down at the NOW sleeping Draco. "Is Orion asleep?"

"Yes. Fell right to sleep once we agreed on their names."

"Good." Nova started as she came towards us. "I'll go put them down for bed now and give the two of you some privacy."

"Thank you." I told her as she took them from us.

"No problem. Goodnight."

When she left I looked at Aziraphale, and did not like what I found. "What's wrong? You look as if you're unsure of something."

"I am." He sighed, looking to the floor as if it would give him some answers while I just waited patiently and a little nervously. "I tried to...I almost killed you. I...want...I want to...what we had in Heaven, it was amazing, but..."

"But...I'm a Demon and you're an Angel." He nodded his head with a guilty look in his eyes. I couldn't blame him. I wanted the same things, but if Hell saw me with him, they would tell me to guide him into falling or to incinerate him, and I can't do either. If Heaven...other than God and Gabriel...saw him with me, they would tell Aziraphale to smite me proper or tell him to douse me in Holy Water. So, I let out a sigh and thought about our fledglings. "Aziraphale..."

"Hmm?" He asked as he looked up at me.

"Do you love our fledglings?"

The questioned seemed to relax his whole form as a calming and loving smile was instantly brought to his face. "More than anything."

I wanted to tease him by asking, 'More than me?' but now was not the time. "Then that's all I can ask for. Just...Just love them, raise them, and teach them when you can. When you get commendation or when you can get away. When I'm out doing my job, Nova will be wherever my home is and she will raise them. The three of us will bring them up the best way we can, and she can teach them how to be Nephilim in this ever changing world, so actually, they're very fortunate to have an older sister. They'll be fine, but love them and I'll be happy."

"I can do that." He grinned.

"Good, I thought you might. Now we just have to raise them and deal with their teenage years...it's another beginning."

"I'm not looking forward to the teenage years."

"Nor am I, but we'll get through it. Nova will be strict too. So, another beginning?"

"Another beginning."


	14. Oysters...and a Night in Rome

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an 'E' chapter! I am still trying to get better at writing 'E' in first person! That being said, I hope you enjoy.

Eight years later, and our little fledglings have turned into fine young Nephilim. By five they learned how to control their wings and to keep them out of sight. By six we had to move out of Rome, because humans were getting suspicious, but Orion and Draco gained their own unique powers. Irony at its finest too. Draco can use fire while Orion can use water. Both mortal aspects. Nothing Hellish or Holy about the either, but it comes in handy every now and then when there's no water to be found or when something needs to be set on fire or merely heated. By seven they taught each other their powers, but when it didn't work, they both went behind all of our backs and learned how to preform healing miracles until one day, Nova fell in the garden and scraped her knee. Draco rushed to help her, and that's how we found out. They're very adept at it, and the love they have for their older sister still warms my heart. NOW, at eight years old, we've moved back to Rome in a different part of the city and they're growing to be a bit mischievous with their attitudes and powers. At my wits end, Nova told me to go get a much needed drink while she takes care of the boys. All too happy to take her up on that, I went and met up with Aziraphale.

That's how we eventually ended up in a restaurant with a plate of oysters for each of us. "And how...am I supposed to eat this?"

"Here, let me show you." I watched how he ate his oyster, and I had to clutch my hands to my clothing so I wouldn't grab him and show him what else he could do with a technique like that.

"D-Do you have any idea how that looks."

"Oh, yes. I'm very aware, My Dear." He gave me a sidelong glance with blown pupils, causing me to swallow a thick and wanting lump in my throat.

"R-Right and what will we do after this?"

"I have a small place not to far from here." He smirked. He bloody well smirked and my heart nearly flew out of my fucking chest! We already had sex once, but apparently my cock and my heart forgot about that, because while one was pounding, the other was growing. Almost painfully so.

"Good. We're going to need it afterwards."

"For how long?"

"Let's get through dinner first. Nova's watching Draco and Orion."

"How are they?"

"Mischievous. Very mischievous. We've moved back to Rome and they've taken a keen interest in seeing how much of my garden they can uproot before I notice. Nova saw how close I was to losing my mind, so she sent me to go get a drink."

"Oh, clever girl, she probably found out I was in town. So, are they getting on fine?"

"Yes, they're skilled at their powers, Nova's a bit jealous at it, but they're great at it. However, telling them not to fly above the house or outside of it is still one of the biggest challenges I've ever faced. Building a Nebula was easier than trying to get them to listen, but...I enjoy it."

"And you say you're not nice."

"I'm not." I told him as I started to eat my oysters while thinking, _'Not after what I did to you by NOT telling you who I was sooner.'_

"Whatever you say, Crowley."

"Yeah, that's another thing. You almost messed up saying my name. You didn't have any issue after I first changed it, but you almost called me Crawley. Why is that?"

"Oh, well...while I was playing my game, I was thinking about how you changed your name, but then you showed up."

"Okay, what were you thinking about that for?"

"Well, what if we were to have human names. It would make things easier."

"Perhaps." I agreed as I sipped what passed for wine in Rome.

After dinner, we went to his place and the door was only just closing on its own when he grabbed my clothes and pushed me against the wall, his lips crashing to mine, causing me to groan as I grabbed at his hips, pulling him closer to me, which pulled a moan from him when he felt how hard I was. "What do you want, Angel?"

"You." He breathed out before attacking my neck with his lips, nearly making my knees buckle from the pleasure of it.

"A-Are you sure?"

"Of course, I'm sure." He replied as he went away from my neck. "Are YOU sure? What's wrong?"

"Nothing! I just thought...after our big fight, me falling, me having been pregnant, and the last time we had sex I was a woman, and I really don't feel like being that way again..."

"Fine by me." He shrugged. "That means I get to explore you differently. Do you not want to have sex with me?" His voice became a bit smaller in that tone, and I couldn't allow that to happen.

"Where's your bed?" He grinned at me before yanking my hand towards wherever his bedroom was. Once there, I didn't even have time to look around as he picked me up like I was nothing and put me on his bed, sparing no amount of time between that action and kissing my neck. I snapped my fingers and our clothes were gone, but then our cocks brushed together and any sense of anything left my brain as it was replaced with the sound of desperation in the form of a moan leaving my lips while a gasp left his. "F-Fuck!"

"That's the idea, isn't it?"

"Y-You...You didn't know a thing about sex when we first did it! What happened?"

"We had sex." He stated plainly as if that was all the answer he needed.

"Did you...with anyone else?"

"No. I had been thinking about it for a few years now. Once Nova told me that you changed back into a man, I was intrigued, but I didn't get to have the opportunity, because I've been sent on mission after mission."

_'To get your mind off what happened in our fight.'_ I thought a bit bitterly, because that's what Gabriel told me around when the boys turned four, but I didn't want to think about that right now. "How do you want me?"

"On the bed." He smirked.

"Yes, well..." I rolled my eyes with amusement bubbling in my chest. "...I meant do you want me on top, on bottom, as a man, as a woman, as...both?"

"Both?" His brow rose up to his hair line as he seemed to think about it, but soon shook his head. "I don't think I'm ready for both, but you as a man...I'd like to try that, and...I'd like to be on top again, if that's alright with you."

"More than alright." I growled as I pulled him in for another kiss. He then wrapped his cool arms and hands around my back, his fingers digging into my skin as if he would find the most precious jewels there. My left hand was around his waist while the other was gripping the back of his ever soft hair, and when I decided to tug lightly, I gained a combination of a gasp and a moan.

Before I could say anything tempting or alluring, he pushed me onto his soft bed and started kissing me, his tongue exploring my mouth as if it's never been there before. I fought his tongue with my own, but he won when gripped the inside of my thigh, forcing me to moan at the feeling of his strong hands on me, and if he would just go up just a little higher... "So many noises. They sound different with you this way. They're almost...louder, rougher, and it seems as if you want me more than last time."

"Yes, well, after telling you who I used to be, things are a bit different. For one thing..." I smiled at him exactly like I used to in Heaven, causing his eyes to widen an incredible degree, but I wasn't going to let that stop me. I brought a hand up to the side of his face and used my thumb to stoke his cheek bone. "...I'm not afraid to call you Dearest. At least when we're alone."

"I...I think I'd like that, but...I'm still..."

"I know. You're still upset at what happened, but I'm not. I think...if it were switched...I would react the same way, if not worse. If anyone DARED to pretend to be you, or if I THOUGHT someone was pretending to be you and I thought you died...I don't think I'd be able to hold in my anger." Before he had time to react to that, I flipped us, earning a remarkable laugh from him as he placed his palms on my chest.

"I thought I was going to be on top." He giggled.

"Oh, you _were_, but I have some ideas. I want to do some things too." I grinned at him before looking at the scars on his arms from the fire. I leaned back, resting on the heels of my feet, pulling Aziraphale's hand to guide him to sit up as well. Once he did. I took his hand and I kissed every finger before going up his hand. I looked up briefly before getting to the scars on his right arm, and reveled in the fierce blush on his face that was accompanied by the swift rise and fall of his chest. Once I was at the burns, I kissed them far more gently than I had his fingers and hand. The rough scarred skin that mimicked a topography map felt warm beneath my lips, but that was typical in Hellfire scars. I then moved up his upper arm, to his shoulder, to the nape of his neck, and then finally to the side of his neck where I let my snake fangs grow out a bit, imagining an aphrodisiac venom in them before sinking my teeth into him.

The moan he let out was loud, lewd, pleading, continuous, and his fingers began to scratch up my back, oddly enough sending spikes of pleasure further throughout my body, making my cock twitch with not only a want anymore, but a need. "Wh-What did you do to me!?"

I took my fangs out and licked the wound clean as well as miracling the wound gone. "Are you upset?"

"Not. At. All!" He groaned before he brought both of his hands on either side of my face. "That felt good! No...more than that...I nearly finished then and there. What did you do to me, My Dear?" His eyes were so blown with pleasure, the color of his eyes were but a small sliver of turquoise, and even that had darkened.

"I grew my fangs, imagined they were filled with an aphrodisiac venom, and I sunk my teeth into you. Don't worry, the wound is clean and gone, but the venom will be in your system for twenty-four hours."

"Is there a cure?" He smirked, looking up and down my body from where he sat.

"Oh, only the best cure." I replied before gently guiding him back down on the bed, giving chaste kisses on his forehead, cheeks, chin, throat, chest, but then I stopped being chaste and took one of his nipples in to my mouth, twirling my tongued around slowly, sucking lightly every now and then, blissfully drowning in the sounds coming out of him. I did the same thing to the other one after five minutes of attention, and gave another five minutes of attention to the other one before going back down his body. Grabbing at his soft, but muscular belly, sucking on the skin there, leaving harsh proof that I was there, but he could just miracle those away if he wanted to. By the time I reached his cock, I didn't look up, I didn't hesitate, and I didn't ask. I took him into my mouth, realizing that if he was any thicker, I would have to do my my mouth stretch even more than it was.

Once I could feel him in the back of my throat, I saw out of the corner of my eye that he was having to grip the sheets and pillows as he panted and moaned. "Crowley!" He moaned out once he was able to get control of his neck to lift his head so that he could look at me. "P-Please!" I didn't need to be told twice, I began sucking and as I did so, I was surrounded by love and desire. Specifically his. I don't know how I didn't sense it earlier, but it was warm, wonderful, wanting, caring, gentle, rough, demanding, and I wanted it all.

When I felt it on my lips and tongue that he was close, I lifted myself off of him, gaining a defiant whine in response. "Oh, don't look at me that way, Dearest." I spread his legs and looked at everything before me. So pale, so pink, so mine! I then returned my gaze up to him, seemingly causing him to shudder beneath me, which in turn brought a delighted smirk to my lips. "Is it alright with you if I'm on top instead? I'll make it up to you, I promise." He gave a flustered nod, which was good enough for me.

I did a small miracle and made my fingers slick enough to go in, but once my middle finger touched his entrance I looked up to see if he was sure. "Crowley, if you don't hurry up, I'm going to have my way with you and I'll be on top. PLEASE!"

"Right, just checking."

"Well, if it wasn't obvious by my hard penis, you shouldn't have to check."

I snorted out a laugh as I shook my head. "Don't call it that. Call it a cock, a dick, or even a member for fuck's sake, but don't call it a penis." I pushed my finger in before he could say anything and DAMN he was tight! After about a minute of pumping my finger in and out, I found that right spot. Once I hit it, his back arched and he had the sheets in a vice grip with both hands. After ten minutes of continuously doing that I noticed him shaking his head with a huff. "What is it?"

"I need more. I need you. I need...I need...your cock. Inside me. Please!"

"You're not ready..." Before I could get his name out I felt the small wave of a minor miracle and just like that he was slick and ready. "...well then! Your wish is my command, My Angel." I lined myself up with him, and slowly pushed in, hissing at how tight he still was, but then again, he wincing for the size of me, so there was that. "You okay?" I asked once I was half way.

"Y-Yes, just...give me a moment."

"You could just miracle yourself more..."

"I don't want to. You feel good."

It shouldn't have touched my heart as much as it did, but the fact that he wanted to wait it out with me made the tightness bearable and the look on his face when he finally relaxed was beautiful. He gave me a reassuring nod, urging me to continue and not wanting to disappoint my mate, I did as he wanted by slowly thrusting in and out of him, finding that right spot. When I found it, the reaction was far better than when I found it with my finger. His fingers started clawing at my upper arms and back with soundless moans as his back arched again. "There you are!" I growled before beginning to hit it with every thrust.

It didn't take long before he was gasping my name as he took himself in his hand and started to go in time with my thrusts. That's what did it for me. Watching him do that was my limit. So, with an embarrassingly loud moan of his name, I finished inside him. He followed a few seconds after in much the same way as far as noises went. When we were both spent, I laid down next to him, my head on his chest, my legs wrapped around him, and I miracled away the mess. "That was..." He began, but even I knew that words would be nearly non-existent for the next hour. So, I just nodded against his chest.

I had apparently fallen asleep there, because I woke up and he wasn't there. "Aziraphale?" I reached out with the link I still had and found him. "The kitchen. Of course." I may not have gotten a tour of the house, but I could still see rooms and openings as we made it past them. Once I was up and dressed, I made my way into the kitchen. There, I saw him ironically eating an apple. "Well, well, well. My Dearest, My Angel, My Aziraphale...eating an apple. Was I that sinful and tempting?"

Without a beat and without looking up from the scroll he was reading, he replied with a smirk, "Absolutely."

"Not the answer I was expecting." I told him as I sat down next to him.

He gave me the apple with a small smile, pulling a laugh from within my chest. "So...who's Adam and who's Eve in this situation?"

"Neither of us. We're Aziraphale and Crowley."

I nodded as I turned the half eaten apple in my hand. "Fair answer." I took a bite as my eyes caught what he was reading. "Something from Heaven?"

"Apparently." He muttered. "It seems I've gotten a small commendation."

"What for?"

"That's the strange part. It doesn't say."

_'Gabriel, what does Aziraphale have commendation for?'_

_'It's not exactly commendation. More like a...vacation of sorts. He's been running himself ragged.'_

_'He told me he's been on mission after mission.'_

_'And he has.'_

_'He told me Heaven did it.'_

_'Technically, yes, but he asked for the work. He came to me directly and asked for work.'_

_'Well, then maybe you should make it clear that this isn't a commendation. That it's a vacation, or that he shouldn't be hogging all of the Heavenly work. Something! He's analyzing that thing harder than the humans analyze my stars!'_

I could hear a sigh of frustration coming from Gabriel. _'Fine...'_

"Oh! It changed!"

"May I see?"

"Yes, but be careful of the paper. It still has some Holy Power in it." He held the scroll open for me and I nearly face palmed at what I read.

_Principality Aziraphale,_

_You are being given two months of commendation. Your miracles and blessings will be of your own accord and responsibility. You will not be expected to check in with Heaven until the day after your commendation ends. You will report any miracles and blessings you have done and they will be reviewed to either extend your commendation or hold it over for the next one. You are receiving this commendation letter, because honestly, you're working so much and nearly leaving other angels without their adequate amount of work. So...take some time off...or something._

_Archangel Gabriel_

"Well..."

"Yes..." He hummed. "...It does seem a bit strange, but that's two months I get to spend with my fledglings."

"They're not fledglings anymore, Angel. They're proper Nephilim. If I were still an angel as well they would both be proper angels, but...they're Nephilim."

"You weren't JUST an angel, Crowley."

"To _you._ You know that. No one else can know and you know that."

"Yes, I know, and it's a shame, because they don't know that you're..."

"A demon." I quickly clarified. "I'm a demon. I'm from Hell. I'm fallen. I'm no longer someone in her light." I wanted to add, 'Except when she comes down here or when Gabriel checks up on me', but I think he's been through enough and I don't think I know how to explain that. Also, I'm certain I'm not supposed to. "I'm a demon, you're an angel. We're a strange demon and angel, but it's what we are."

"Yes..." He agreed hesitantly with obvious disappointment. "...You're right, of course. Although, could I ask...aren't you mad at the Almighty for what she did to you?"

"I am...of and on. Sometimes...I'm grateful, but other times, I'm really not. The really not times are kind of rare, because if I hadn't fallen, I wouldn't have become a demon, wouldn't have been stationed on Earth the same time as you, wouldn't have spent time with you, wouldn't have had FOUR AMAZING KIDS, one of which was human, but acted every bit a Nephilim as her younger sister, but I wouldn't have anything like what I have now. I just wish she was a bit more talkative. I have no idea what I'm supposed to do, because...if I hadn't become a demon, I would've become a star, and well, I'm not so apparently she still wants me for something, but she won't fucking tell me what for!"

"Perhaps it's something you have to figure out for yourself."

"Trust me, Angel, if you knew the things I knew and if you knew what it was like being the very first...you'd want to rant and rave to her too. There was so much I had done, said, and had gotten to do, but now it's as if none of that had happened. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm grateful for some things she's done for me, but she could tell me what she wants me to do!"

"I find it amusing how you woke up all cheery and sarcastic, but then you go into grumpy demon mode."

"I am NOT a grumpy demon!"

"Sure. Whatever you say, My Dear. So, when should we go see Draco and Orion?"

"Now, if you like." I sighed as I pinched the bridge of my nose, silently admitting defeat, and damn it all...he knew it too if his cheeky smile was anything to go by.

We left his house, walked to mine, and were welcomed by two very excited boys and a laughing Nova. "So, the two of you had a sleepover, huh?"

I smirked up at her as I gave Draco a hug while Aziraphale did the same for Orion. "Yes, as a matter of fact we did." Aziraphale piped in. "Although, I'm almost certain you don't want details, now do you, Dear girl?"

"Ah-ha...um...no." She laughed nervously as she slowly shook her head, causing me to grin while the embarrassed blush appeared on her cheeks. "Nope. Don't want to know any of that. Did the two of you at least have a good time?"

"Yes, we did." We both answered at the same time.

I looked at Draco, who was bouncing up and down excitedly, looking back and forth between me and Aziraphale. "Guess what kids?"

"What?" ALL THREE of them asked at once.

"Father has two whole months off! That means Father and Daddy will be home together, which also means lots of fun and powers training."

"YAY!" Draco and Orion shouted before flying up to Aziraphale, tackling him to the ground, the three of them erupting into a fit of giggles and laughter.

We helped them train some more with their healing and helped them with their flying technique, but once Aziraphale's commendation or vacation was up, he had to go back to work, and apparently while he was gone, Hell gained two new fallen angels for going up to God and directly questioning her about her plan and a bunch of why's, so Aziraphale was going to be worked to the bone for a long time, unfortunately, but in the moments that he was with us, it actually felt like a real solid family. If only Heaven and Hell weren't in the damn way! There has to be some way that we can see each other and spend time with each other without Heaven or Hell knowing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember! This was an 'E' AND I'm trying to get better at it. I'm not perfect, so if it was bad, I apologize. Thank you for reading! I will begin the new chapter ASAP!


	15. The Arrangement

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I know this chapter is rather short. I apologize, but YAY! We have the arrangement!

Many years later, we had an argument on opposite sides. I was the black knight and he was part of Kind Arthur's Round table. I lied to my troops and had our side lose, but in a way that looked like we gave it all we had, but I did that because I felt bad. I got Aziraphale to raise his voice, and I didn't like that. Now, though, I found myself dressed in commoner clothing in a miraculously still standing tavern, and I feel the presence of my Angel enter the same tavern. "So...that battle...seemed it was thrown to me." Aziraphale sighed out as he sat down next to me.

"He'll have the same as me." I told the man behind the counter.

"Crowley, are you going to answer me?"

"Wasn't aware you asked a question, Angel." I told him a bit more bitterly than I had intended, but still took a sip of my Ale anyway.

"Well, did you throw the battle?"

"May have. What's it to you?"

"Well, I want to know why?" He huffed out as if that were supposed to be obvious. "I wasn't exactly pleasant when we met up again, and we hadn't seen each other in quite a long time. I'm afraid I've grown a bit tetchy as of late."

"That's an understatement." I chuckled lightly, but when he slapped my arm lightly, I laughed fully. "Alright, Angel! You win. I threw it because I felt bad. I made you raise your voice, I upset you, so...I...altered some information."

"So, you lied."

"Lying is such an ugly word." I shook my head. "I prefer altering the truth, or bending it, or misplacing information in a sentence. I don't much like the word...'Lying'."

"Well, regardless whether you like it or not, that's what you did."

I rolled my eyes when the man came to us with Aziraphale's drink. I handed him the money and miracled the rest of the tavern to not notice us or what we were saying. "So, what else have you come to talk to me about."

"I've got commendation thanks to your secret efforts, but...King Arthur still died."

"Which is what _I_ got commendation for. A year. You?"

"The same. I'm afraid you're right. We do seem to cancel each other out."

"Ah! There it is!" I grinned while my entire body filled with amusement. "You want to talk about what I said."

"Yes, I do. I think...an arrangement of sorts is in order so that we don't keep canceling each other out. Yes, we receive commendation, but us receiving commendation at the same time is going to be very suspicious if both head offices find out, and I don't want to risk them finding our boys or Nova."

"You know, you could just consider Nova your daughter too. Might as well. You're basically her other Father."

"Yes, well...I do...consider her my daughter that is. I've thought so since I started training her in swordplay. I just...didn't say anything to either of you, because I wasn't sure if it would be welcome and then after I found out who you were, I wasn't sure how either of you would react if I said I wanted...to be..."

"You can be, Angel. It'll give her something else to call you other than Zee Zee."

"Oh, but I like her calling me that. It reminds of little Nova holding her first little wooden sword."

Warmth filled my heart at his words. "So, Nova now has two Fathers. Just like she always has." When I finished making that statement, the door to the tavern opened, causing me and Aziraphale to turn around. We both smiled when we saw our children, and OH it was STILL so good to call them that, but now Nova was included in that! "Where have you all been?" I asked.

"I was a maid servant for King Arthur's wife. I faked my death so that they wouldn't be suspicious if I went missing." Nova answered as she sat next to Aziraphale.

"We were knights for King Arthur." Draco and Orion chimed together as they sat down next to me and each other. "We were even able to introduce ourselves as his sons!" They finished in unison yet again. It was always weird and intriguing when they did that, but sometimes it could get annoying.

I held a dramatic hand to my chest, giving a fake scoffed. "Well! My own children! Taking sides! I would think that at least ONE of you would take my side!"

"We hadn't seen Father in hundreds of years!" Draco whined.

"Yeah!" Orion agreed. "And Nova was already infiltrating the castle."

"Infiltrating?" Aziraphale asked with a furrowed brow.

"Ah! So YOU'RE the little scoundrel that fed my men information!"

"That I am!" She grinned as she gave a dramatic bow while she stayed seated.

"HA! I DO have at least ONE!" I told Aziraphale, who was giving me an honest smile.

"So you do." He said before turning to face Nova. "Nova, sweetie, I must ask you something. Your Father has brought something to light and I have mentioned something I had thought for some time since you were just a little fledgling."

"What is it?" She tilted her head with a look of concern on her face.

"Since you were really little, I had...well...At the time, I thought it was wrong of me to think so, but since then...I had considered you like a daughter to me, and your Father brought it up just moments before the three of you arrived. He said I could consider you that way if I wanted, but I want it to be your decision. Do you want me to-"

"YES!" She shouted, giving him a tackle hug that I had to support so that they both wouldn't fall down.

Once they were upright and their hug ended, I could hear Draco and Orion laughing, bringing a victorious sort of smile to appear on my face. "You hear that, Draco?" I heard Orion speak. "We OFFICIALLY have an older sister!"

"Yes..." I could hear the way Draco was smiling. "...but she's ALWAYS been our big sister. Nothings going to change that. She'll be JUST AS ANNOYING as usual."

"Annoying am I?" Nova challenged. "I'll show you annoying!"

"Children!" Aziraphale properly scolded, and I was going to have to name that voice, because I had NEVER heard THAT voice before. It was definitely a Fatherly voice. One to not be challenged either. "Not in this lovely tavern. Sit back down."

"Yes, Father." The three of them muttered before sitting back down.

"Now, Crowley..." Aziraphale started as he, too, sat back down. "...about the arrangement..."

"Engagement?" Nova piped up mischievously.

"Who's getting engaged?" Draco asked.

"Are the two of you getting engaged?" Orion questioned.

"Oh! Can I help plan the wedding?" Nova smirked.

"Oh! Don't act like the three of you don't have perfect hearing!" I snapped. "You damn well know what your Father said! He said Arrangement. We're trying to find a way that we don't cancel each other out so that Heaven and Hell don't get suspicious about either of us and possibly find out about the three of you."

At that moment, a particular dove decided to fly threw a window and perch itself on Nova's shoulder. "Nova, why is it that doves seem to always find you?" Aziraphale asked, and I noticed the look of subtle panic in Draco and Orion's eyes that I felt in my chest.

"I'm just good with them, I suppose. I've always had a pet dove." Nova, smooth as always, and Aziraphale accepted that answer.

_'What the HELL are you doing here, Gabriel!?'_

_'I was sent by God, because she said that two of you are going to make an arrangement. A way to keep Heaven and Hell off of your backs. I have to understand what the two of you are doing so I can protect you and your family.'_

"What did you have in mind?" Draco asked carefully.

"Well..." I started. "...Perhaps every now and then we lend a helping hand to the other. He does a bit of tempting here I do some blessings there. Only when needed though. I can do some blessings and tell Aziraphale exactly how I did it so that he can send a report to Heaven while he does the same for me with temptings. That way we can control how much blessings and temptings are in one area and we'll just make one more than the other. We'll make it look like we just barely missed each other so that we're not there at the same time anymore."

"Oh, can we help with the rules?" Orion questioned with excitement in his eyes.

"Sure." I chuckled lightly. "I don't see why not."

And so, the arrangement was discussed and born. Draco and Orion had some good points that we added to it, and Nova offered precautionary measures that made sense. After about three hours of talking about it, Draco and Orion headed off to see what else they would be able to do in times like this. They did like traveling the world after all. Draco entertained the idea that perhaps they could be pirates, causing Orion to pinch the bridge of his nose in exasperation, but he agreed anyway. So...my boys will be pirates. That will be interesting, and Nova said she'll be Captain of the ship. Draco and Orion said they wouldn't have it any other way. So...not just my boys, but my little girl as well. I'll have to check up on them and see just what type of pirates they turn out to be.

After they left, Aziraphale was fretting over them becoming pirates, but I just smiled at him and placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "They'll be fine, Angel. They can definitely handle themselves. So, are we in agreement to the arrangement?"

He let out a worried huff of air before turning to face me with a contemplative expression. "Yes, I suppose we are. Besides, our children came up with some rather unique and compelling arguments and rules."

_'That's for sure. Gabriel, what do you think about the arrangement?'_

_'I think it will work, but you HAVE to be careful! I can only do so much without exposing myself or more importantly...you.'_

"I think it will work. We just have to be careful."

"I hope you're right, Crowley."

"I am, Dearest." I smirked at the way it STILL made his cheeks flush a brilliant red when I called him that out of nowhere. Oh yes, I do believe the arrangement was going to be an amazing ordeal.


	16. The Fourteenth Century

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The names of the added characters in this chapter are MADE UP! I don't know if there was anyone in this time period with these specific names. That is all, thank you!

The strange thing about time, especially for immortal beings like me, Aziraphale, and our children, is that it was hardly linear, but on the rare occasion it WAS, it was fucking unbearable! It's the fourteenth century and I fucking hate it! Everywhere I look there's heartache, sickness, and pain. At the moment I was drowning in the sorrow called my commendation! Aziraphale was halfway across the country working over time to try and bless people, commanded by Gabriel to do so and was ordered to not go anywhere else until instructed, so I just sat in the middle of a dense forest filled with greenery despite the gray and gloom just outside of it, and I stared at the words on my scroll.

Interrupting my wallowing I heard a flapping of wings, causing me to hiss. "Go the fuck away Aziraphale! I don't want to talk right now!"

"I do hope you don't actually talk to him like that." Gabriel's voice rang throughout the hollow soundless forest. Like I said, it was dense and green and beautiful, but there were no living animals in it any longer. I heard the grass beneath his feet as he walked closer along with the whooshing of his wings going back into his form. "You could be out there, you know. Healing."

"Why the FUCK would I do that!?" I snapped at him as I waved the scroll in the air. "Apparently I did this! Apparently I had a conversation with Pestilence! Apparently I'm the reason why children everywhere are clinging to life like a flickering flame to the last remnants of a bloody candle!"

"You could be a poet, if you wished."

"I don't wish! Not to be a poet anyway."

"You received commendation for all of this then?" He sighed out as he miracled a stump to sit on next to me. "How long is the commendation for?"

"Two fucking years! Signed by Satan himself! Isn't that ironic, Brother? The one that killed me is congratulating me on widespread murder! And of course, the humans don't know it's murder. Some blame witches, some blame demons, some blame the faithless, and some just join whoever's blame is the loudest, but NOPE! Apparently it's MY fault!"

"DID you talk with Pestilence?"

"Yeah, but not about this! We were having a civilized conversation! Apparently I was CAUGHT talking with them. We didn't even talk about work! I just saw them in the area and was all like 'Hey! Hadn't seen you since the seven year famine in Egypt! Saw the work you did WITH Famine. Also saw the work you did when Moses was tryin' to free all them slaves with his brother and sister. Yeah, how about we catch up?' We did, and we didn't talk about work! She told me she fancied me. She was being genuine which was weird, but I told her I was still mated. She asked me who, but I wouldn't tell her. She said they were lucky, I said I wasn't so sure, but...yeah...civilized, you know...for a demon talking to a horseman. Didn't say a FUCKING THING about 'Hey, you know what this peaceful town needs with all of the happy children despite already living borderline poverty? The fucking PLAGUE! I didn't do this, Gabriel! I swear! You have to believe me! I wouldn't do this!" The tears flowed in giant wet globs down my cheeks, but I didn't care. I was drunk, miserable, and I didn't want to cry like this in front of Aziraphale. Not like this. Not because of this. Not when he's likely heard rumors about my supposed involvement. The only other solace since my children were steering clear of all of this? The brother I couldn't be seen in public with, but who was making a risk by coming to comfort me anyway.

He draped a large golden wing over me, wrapping me in protection, love, and hope. "Shh...I know, Raphael. I know. You didn't do this. This wasn't your fault. It couldn't be your fault. You love the humans too much to do this. You love children too much to cause them pain and to leave them without parents. I know."

That did it. That made me sign my bloody name on the scroll, accepting the commendation, burning it away to be sent to them, and I sobbed my eyes out on Gabriel's chest, clutching at his dark purple nobleman vest and shirt. "I-I didn't! I...the children...there was a little girl...she looked like Tana! She fucking looked like Tana! I tried to heal her, but I couldn't get to her in time! I swear I tried! Her mother was already dead! I tried, Gabriel! I hate it here! I hate this time! It's horrible!"

"I know." He whispered, rubbing circles into my back. "But you know...you CAN do something. You can go to the people who ARE suffering and you can bless them. You can use your healing powers and heal them. You can speak your true name. You can go to the orphanage on the edge of town and heal all of those children. You can make them believe there are better times ahead even if it seems dark now. You won't be monitored for TWO YEARS, Raphael."

"Did Mother send you to console me?"

"No, but she knows I'm here. She's the one that is keeping Aziraphale away from you and I. Aziraphale HAS heard about the rumors, and he's having a hard time with them, because apparently he ALSO saw you with Pestilence. So...for now...God is making the two of you have some breathing space. So, I'll be with you for now. Only myself and Aziraphale are the only angels allowed to be on Earth at the moment, or the very least in this country."

"I'm a fucking child! I'm sobbing like a baby or like a fledgling! I...I..."

"You...aren't fully a demon."

"But fucking WHY!? It would be less painful than this if I were! For one, I wouldn't give a damn about anything! She should've just made me a fucking star if I was going to have to watch this much suffering! She's not doing anything about it!"

"But YOU CAN." He clarified once again. "She can't ALWAYS solve the humans' problems, but WE can. YOU especially. You and I, we can heal, but you're so much better at it than me! You've been guarding and protecting the humans for so long now, I'm certain now more than I ever was before that it really IS what you're meant to do even as a demon! You're still able to heal after all, and that's a holy capability. Besides, can you imagine the look on Lucifer's face when he realizes that Raphael is still alive somewhere? That he didn't officially kill you?"

That got a sob of a chuckle out of me as I nodded my head. "Yeah, you're right, but what if I'm too late again?"

"Then I'll be there to help you." I looked up at him and he gave me a reassuring smile. "I think I've told you this, and if I haven't I apologize, but upon my vow to protect you, I was also given a heart and a soul to better understand the weight you carry. So...another vow I made to myself was to protect your heart and soul, so this is me attempting to. Come on. It'll be just you and me. Let's go and heal and bless and help. You also know how to cook, so you could make some children food or make the soil healthy enough to grow crops again. We can do it. Aziraphale is doing his part far from here."

"Okay." I sniffled. "You win, Gabriel. Let's go, but I can't promise it'll be easy for me.'

"I don't expect it to be."

We went out and we helped as many along the way as possible. Those that were beyond us, Gabriel was there to console me, but those we could, when and if they would ask for our names, Gabriel would introduce himself as a follower of mine and a follower of God while we both introduced myself as the Archangel Raphael. Those who didn't believe right away got to see my wings and my staff. The rumors spread like wild fire, but they apparently didn't make it to any demons yet, because I was still able to be top side and I wasn't discorporated. Then, we made it to the orphanage he talked about. "This the place?"

"Yes, you take care of the children, miracle the room soundproof to all except me, and I'll keep the adults distracted, okay?"

"Understood." I nodded as we went inside.

"Excuse me, gentlemen, what are you here for? This is an orphanage."

"I'm well aware of that, Ma'am." I told her with a slight bow. "My name is Anthony Fell and this is my Noble brother, Lord Gabriel. Of course, there's not much of our family I'm afraid. This illness going around, nasty business, but I'm of the medical profession and we've agreed to look after one another. If you'll allow me, I would like to take a look at the children. Have any doctors been by to see them?"

"No." The woman answered. "They haven't."

"Have you requested for doctors?"

"We have and we kept getting denied. How did you hear of us?"

"Let's just say that we're devout followers of God and we felt the will of the lord lead us here." Gabriel answered, and I nearly slapped the back of his head.

"Will you permit me to look at the children? Perhaps I may pray for them as well." I asked her as gently as I could, seeing as she was both relieved and confused at us being here.

"O-Of course."

"I will stay out here and gather more information, Brother. You go on ahead."

"Stay safe, Gabriel." I nodded to him before making my way up the stairs and into the wide and lengthy room that held up to twenty beds. Ten on either side, and only six of them held children. I poked out of the room and looked down at the woman. "Excuse me, Ma'am. Why are there only six children here? I understand this is an orphanage, so I would figure there would be more children."

"There were, but they...didn't survive."

"Ah, my apologies." I went back in the room, and saw six pairs of eyes sitting up and staring at me. "Hello, children." I grinned at them as I shut the door, miracling it soundproof like Gabriel said, and I stepped forward. "May I know your names?"

A little girl hopped off the bed and came towards me. She had long orange hair and sapphire eyes with freckles dancing across her face. She was wearing a torn white dress and her feet were filthy and bare. "My name is Gabriela. What's yours?"

"My name is Raphael, but the lady downstairs was told my name was Anthony. What about the rest of you? Don't worry, I won't hurt any of you. I'm here to help all of you."

Two boys that had to be around the age of ten came forward. One had black hair and brown eyes while the other had light brown hair and dark green eyes. "I'm Jackson, Sir. This is my best friend Eric. Known each other since we were kids."

Another girl came forward, but she picked a younger girl up and held her on her back. The girl walking forward had short dark brown hair, and chestnut eyes while the girl she carried was a fair blonde with sky blue eyes. "I'm Sarah and this is Elizabeth. She can't walk, because her legs are badly injured and the illness has gotten into her legs."

Finally, the last boy came forward and he seemed to be around Gabriela's age. "I'm Michael." The boy with the long black hair and emerald green eyes stated. "What do you mean you're here to help us. I've watched my parents die because of what's going on. We're all sick, Elizabeth...like Sarah said...can't walk."

"Ah, so you're a tough young man, are you?"

"I've done a lot of growing up, so yeah."

"Let me tell you a secret, Michael. It's a very sad but very true secret."

"What is it?"

"I miss my Mother too." Poor little boy, his lip started to quiver and his tough guy facade fell immediately as he rushed forward to clutch at my clothes and cry his eyes out.

The door opened, so I turned around to see who it was. Thankfully it was Gabriel. "The woman downstairs has left to go into town for food supplies for the children. Miraculously, there's fresh vegetables and meat. Oh? What's this?"

"This is Michael. He misses his mother and was trying to stay strong enough for everyone here. A brave little man, huh?"

Gabriel nodded his head before coming towards us. "You know, we have a brother named Michael. I'm Gabriel."

Gabriela's eyes lit up like the brightest stars as she stared at Gabriel. "You mean like God's messenger angel? The Archangel Gabriel?"

"That's right." He grinned, and oh no. I knew that look. I had that look when I saw Tana for the first time. I had that look when I rescued Nova. He wanted to adopt her. If I didn't know any better, as he looked around the room...he wanted to adopt them all.

"Gabriel?" Gabriela asked. "Raphael says he can help us. How?"

"I think it's best if he shows you."

I nodded and silently prayed, not knowing what it would do, _'God, let me do this for them. Let me recreate the Orion Nebula for them. It will be beautiful and it will light their spirits and it will be false, but seem and feel real to them. It will be temporary.'_

_'Go on then.'_ I heard her voice in my head and nearly cried, but nodded my head.

I then had all the children step back. "Alright. This will be something extra special for all of you." I focused on my heart, my grace, and my soul as well as what it felt like to create it, and soon the entire room was surrounded in reds, yellows, and blues from the Orion Nebula, earning awed gasps from the children. Once the miracle was done, I took the light back and the room returned to normal again. I did let it linger for a bit though.

"You're a witch!" Michael cried out.

"No, I'm much better than a witch." I let out my wings, and smiled at all of them.

"A-A-An angel!" Jackson stuttered out.

"That's right." Gabriel spoke up with pride in his voice before crouching down to Gabriela, letting out his own golden wings. "He's the Archangel Raphael and I'm the Archangel Gabriel."

"Oh my!" Gabriela gasped.

"Everyone sit down so I can heal you before the lady from downstairs comes back." They all did as I said and I healed every last one of them, including Elizabeth, giving her the ability to walk again.

Gabriel had put his wings away, but I hadn't, so when the woman from downstairs DID come in and saw all of the children happy and healthy while they played with one another, she fell to her knees with her hands clasped together and tears in her eyes. "Your name, a-angel. What's your real name?"

"My real name is Raphael. I am the Archangel of healing, and I am a Guardian angel to those in need. You mustn't speak of my brother the Archangel Gabriel coming with me, but you may speak of me all you like. The children are all cleaned and healed, as you can tell." I put my wings and staff away, only half listening to the children playing as I paid attention to the woman in front of me as tears continued to fall from her eyes. "These are dark times indeed, Ma'am, but God is watching and God cares what's happening. May I ask your age?"

"I...I'm only twenty-seven."

"Who left you in charge of all these children?"

"Erm...no one. I um...took it upon myself to take them in. This place was abandoned, once being a hospital, so I cleaned it up to be an orphanage and then all of the illness happened."

"Raphael has cured them of the illness, but that does not mean they can't catch it again. I have an Earthly home far from here with plenty of room for them to play and grow if you would like to join them and if you would permit me adopting all of them."

_'I fucking knew it! You sap! You have kid fever! You want a kid so badly!'_

_'How I see you with your children has rubbed off on me, okay!? Shut it!'_

_'Whatever you say, Gabriel.'_

"O-Of course! W-We'd be grateful!"

"Do you have any family?" Gabriel asked.

"N-No. They um...they perished in a fire three years ago. It's just me and the little ones."

"Very well, but there is a VERY important rule. You can't tell anyone WHAT I am and as far as WHO I am, if anyone asks, you're staying with a man named John. It's the human name I go by on Earth, okay?"

"Yes! Children, do you all understand that?"

"Yes, Ma'am!"

"Good." Gabriel grinned, then had his shirt tugged on by none other than Gabriela. "Yes?"

"Does this mean you'll be my Papa?"

"Um...if you like."

"YAY! I've never had a Papa before! I have a Papa!" She launched herself into his arms and I watched with a warmed heart as he caught her with tears threatening to fall.

After a while, he ended the hug, clearing his throat before getting back up. "Right, well, Raphael and I will go downstairs and discuss getting all of you to my home. It's a distance from here, but the plague there has come and gone. When it came through it was harsh, but now that it's gone, people are rebuilding again. My home was the first to be rebuilt. Everyone, listen to um..."

"Miss Kline. My name is Miss Kline, but you may call me Eliza, John." She smiled once she said his earthly name.

"Very well." Gabriel grinned. "Everyone listen to Miss Kline while we're gone."

Once we were downstairs, I placed my hands on his shoulder and looked him in the eyes. "Gabriel, what are you DOING!?" I whisper shouted.

"I...well...the plague is going to get worse here and...I...well...like I said...watching how you were with your kids rubbed off on me, and I wanted some of my own. Six seemed like a good number, and I DO have enough land and room for all of them. I have a vegetable garden, my neighbors have some cows, goats, and sheep...so...I mean...is it bad idea?"

"Usually I hear Aziraphale babble this much." I chuckled with amusement. "Gabriel, are you happy with your decision? Keep in mind, you helped me deal with my own children. I have three, you'll have SIX."

"Yes. I'm happy with my decision. I know it won't be easy, but I'm happy with the decision I've made."

A familiar woman walked into the orphanage and I felt a subtle miracle settle over the place. "Hello, Mother." I swallowed a lump in my throat.

"Hello, Raphael. Hello, Gabriel. The two of you have done fantastic work." She then turned to me and wrapped her arms around me, causing tears to immediately fall from my eyes. "I know you haven't seen me since I blessed your twin fledglings, and I KNOW you STILL don't know why I've made you a demon, but I have my reasons. Just like I have my reasons for allowing you to keep all of your angelic power. I have my reasons, my sweet Raphael, but you cannot know them yet. I'm watching, and I'm proud, but there are things you CAN'T know yet and things you WON'T know. Why you're a demon and not a star is something you CAN'T know YET. Trust me, please? Trust me like you did in our beginning." She pulled away and for a moment, she actually had a pleading look in her eyes.

I nodded my head. "I'll trust you, but I'm still majorly pissed off about a lot of things that you're lettiing happen."

"I know, and unfortunately, you're going to get even more pissed off at me in the future. I know it, and just like now, there will be things I can't and won't tell you." She then turned to Gabriel, letting go of the embrace she had me in and gave him a kind smile. "I'm glad you're taking them in. They'll be happy, and you have my blessing. I'll also help to make sure they aren't too much trouble, without having to show myself. Some good dreams and good thoughts should help. Well...I must be off. SOMEONE has to relieve Aziraphale. He's been working nonstop and DESPERATELY needs rest."

With that, she vanished, leaving us with stunned expressions and the pausing of time miracle she placed had ended, resuming time to its rightful place. "Did she just..." Gabriel started.

"Yup." I smirked, ignoring the tears that still fell from my eyes. "She said you get to be Papa Gabriel and that apparently someday I WILL figure out why she did this to me."

"You'll help me, right?"

"Every now and then, yeah. Keep in mind, I have a curious and protective mate."

"That's true. So...another adventure for us then."

"Apparently." I grinned, knowing I was going to enjoy watching him take care of SIX children. One of which, he seemed to have an instant attachment to. OH, when they find love and want to marry! Poor Gabriel! HA! 


	17. Beelzebub Pays a Visit and Discussions are Had.

After I had miracled Hamlet a success, Aziraphale and I, along with our children watched the play. I was right. It was gloomy, but it was...actually decent. Not that I'd tell him that, but after the play, we had to go our separate ways. He's going to Edinburgh after all, and I'll stay here. The boys came with me this time while Nova left with Aziraphale. The boys and I were on our way back to our home when Draco was pulled from my side, causing Orion and I to turn around quicker than anything. "Beelzebub! What a surprise. Would you let him go?"

"Fat chance, snake! I want some answers!"

"Let him go and you'll get them." I tried to stay calm, but every fiber of my being wanted to snap her neck for holding a Hell dipped blade against my son's throat. It won't do anything unless she pierces his skin.

"How can I trust you? We're both demons!" She growled.

"You're going to have to try if you want answers, because I'm not giving you any unless you let him go UNHARMED."

She furrowed her brow at me as she tilted her head, then she looked at him. Once she did, I felt her power search out his, and I nearly sank to my knees in defeat, but I HAD to stay standing for my boys. "No way..." She whispered, letting him go. He ran back to Orion, coughing and gasping as he held onto his brother's shoulders. Meanwhile, Beelzebub put her blade away as she stared at me in shock. "I...the aura that...Nephilim has. I...I recognize it, but...it's..."

"Beelzebub..." I started with my hands up. "...I WILL give you answers, but you HAVE to LISTEN to EVERYTHING. Okay?"

"How are you alive!?" I could've been wrong, but I swear she nearly whimpered the question.

"Not here. Back at my home."

"You'll invite me into your home?" She blinked in shock at me with a dropped jaw.

"You've invited me into your room in Hell."

"That's because you're my only friend." She then quickly covered her mouth with her hands.

Unable to help it, I smiled at her and nodded my head. "Come with us."

"Father!" Orion snapped, gaining a gasp from Beelzebub. "Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"You saw what she did to Draco!"

"I did, but I can promise you, she can do MUCH WORSE if we don't cooperate, and besides, I have a feeling about this. Listen to me, alright?" He reluctantly nodded, so I turned to face Beelzebub once more and let out a sigh. "No trashing my place, alright?" She frantically nodded before following us back. This house wasn't as glamorous as our other homes, but it had a living area downstairs, a kitchen, and three rooms upstairs. One for me and Aziraphale, one for Nova, and one for the boys. It had a small garden front and back for vegetables, but unfortunately, I couldn't have my bathing pool.

Once we walked in I told the boys to go upstairs, they refused, I sighed, relented, and so we all joined together in the living area on the chairs and sofas. The twins, of course, were sitting next to each other while Beelzebub sat next to my on the couch, but at a safe distance. "Can I ask a question?" Draco asked with a hint of bitterness.

"I don't see why not." I sighed.

"WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU HOLD A HELL BLADE AGAINST SOMEONES THROAT IN THE MIDDLE OF A FUCKING STREET!"

"DRACO!" I snapped, forcing him to swiftly calm down, looking a little ashamed.

"Sorry, it's just...it's ridiculous. Not only that, but she attacked me!"

"Yes, and you're MORE than capable of defending yourself. You know that."

"Oh, and risk Hell finding out who and what me and Orion are?"

"That's already been done. She knows what you are and she knows your names. Now...it's HER turn to ask questions and you will sit there and behave, and NOT act as if you were still a fledgling!"

"Yes, Father." He grumbled.

"Draco, you should've known better than to raise your voice in the house." Orion calmly chastised.

"Yeah, Yeah." He rolled his eyes.

"Hey, just because the play didn't end the way you wanted..."

"It was a STUPID ending!"

"BOTH of you, be quiet or you will BOTH go upstairs! Honestly!"

"Yes, Father." They both sighed out.

I nodded my head once at them before turning to see an astonished Beelzebub. "What?"

"That was..." She shook her head to compose herself before continuing. "That was like when you'd give orders in Heaven..."

"So, you figured out who I was by reading my son's aura?"

"I...yes, but...I...It wasn't until one of them called you Father that all of the pieces of what I read came into place. I just thought they were traveling with you, I didn't...but then..."

"Your questions, Beelzebub?"

"I have new ones now."

"Let's start with the old ones." I pinched the bridge of my nose. "You have to understand, with who I was, AND the fact that you've discovered my boys, I'm a little on edge and more than a little worried about what's going to happen."

"I...can see that. Um...first question...back when the plague happened...the one in the fourteenth century, I saw you and Archangel Gabriel departing from an orphanage. I was quite a distance away, but Lucifer asked me to investigate the Raphael rumors. I um...didn't find anything of course, because well...you don't look like you, and I wasn't expecting you to be a demon with all the rumors, so...why were you and Gabriel together?"

"Oh wow...that's...a very loaded answer. Ask me another and I'll get back to you on that."

"Fine." She pouted. "Does...Does Gabriel miss me?"

I grinned at her and nodded my head. "Yes, very much. He was heartbroken when he found that you fell."

"He told you that?" She whispered in awe.

I nodded my head again. "Yes, he did."

"I...I saw him leaving that day with six children and a woman. Did he and the woman..."

I chuckled lightly, unable to help myself. "No. He has never taken another mate. He has also not even taken a human to bed. That woman ran the orphanage at the time and she assisted him in raising the six children he took with him. They all grew to be fine young men and ladies. His face though when Gabriela decided to get married. Oh! I thought he was going to either murder the man or burst into tears! Um, but...no. He and that woman never had a relationship beyond friends."

"You...you met up with him, so you...you must have a way for me to see him again."

My eyes widened at that. "Beelzebub? Do you...still...I mean...I know why I can, but you..."

"I tried to leave." She muttered, but I heard it while her head was down and she was tugging at her sleeves. "Once I saw what Lucifer was doing to the other angels, I didn't want Gabriel to get hurt. I tried to leave, but then he said that he would make sure he killed Gabriel if I did. I fought angels, but I also guided some demons away from Gabriel so that I could do so. It...I hated it."

"And now...because of your efforts...you're the Prince of Hell. I thought you enjoyed it. You're excellent at being the Prince of Hell. You're one of the most ruthless demons."

"But a part of me is still in Heaven. I didn't WANT to be a demon. No one did, but you were the ONLY ONE that was even remotely different like me, so I..."

"That's why you befriended me." I nodded my head in understanding. "So...your next question is if I can get you to see him?"

"Yes."

I made a look as if I was contemplating my answer, but instead, I contacted Gabriel. _'Hey, Gabriel, if you had a chance to see your mate again, would you?'_

_'Raphael, you know I would, but that's not possible. They're the Prince of Hell! They're ALWAYS in Hell.'_

_'I think I may have an idea. Come to my house now please. There's no time to waste.'_

_'Fine.'_

I felt his presence appear in front of my door and there was a knock. "I wonder who that is." I mumbled loud enough for Beelzebub to hear. "Stay here. I'll be right back." I went to open the door to let him in and immediately started talking. "Right, so...come with me to the living area. My idea, starts with..." Once we stepped in I pointed at Beelzebub. "...this."

Beelzebub immediately stood up, tears threatening to fall, but then Gabriel rushed in front of me about to miracle his weapon into existence. "What are you doing here!? I won't let you hurt them!"

"Gabriel you great big Oaf of a FOOL! Stop!" So he did and blinked at me in shock and confusion. "She wanted to see you again, you great lug! I got caught. When we went to the orphanage, she saw us leaving. She caught us not too long ago, pulled a Hell blade on Draco, and then figured out that they're Nephilim and that I'm not dead."

Gabriel relaxed and stared at Beelzebub. "You...wanted to see me?"

"Boys, upstairs now."

"Oh, come on!" Orion complained, but then he was pulled by Draco.

"Yeah, come on, you idiot! I already got in trouble with Father. Don't you start!" Once their room was closed, I stepped back from the both of them to give them some space.

"Yes, I wanted to see you, but when I saw Crowley with you, I was VERY confused. I was sent to investigate the Raphael rumors. Lucifer was FUMING. When Crowley came back, he ORDERED Crowley to tell him anything and everything he saw from his time on Earth, because I...I told him that I saw Crowley, but I didn't mention you. Didn't want to."

"Beelzebub..." Gabriel sighed as he sat down on the sofa, followed by the Prince of Hell herself. "...you have NO IDEA how much you've just complicated things. Hell CANNOT know about his children. They can't know he's alive. They can't know that...he's still him. His grace is just altered to be a demon. He's definitely a demon, but he still has his powers and his staff. Hell can't know any of that!"

"Stupid question, but why?"

"Well..." I started as I sat in the chair Draco was sitting in. "...for a start, if Lucifer finds out who I WAS, then I'm toast. I'm killed all over again, and I don't think I'm going to get another revival. I can be discorporated any number of times, but Lucifer would destroy me. There in lies the EXTRA problem with Gabriel. You see, and this will answer your earlier question, when Lucifer killed me. He really did. I really and truly died, but then God brought me back. I woke up, realized I wasn't a star, and she was crying. We had a discussion and she made me fall. I left, knowing that I would get to see my mate, Aziraphale, again. He was guarding the wall. I went to see him, but he didn't know who I was. He didn't know I was alive. However, while I was there, Gabriel had caught sight of us and immediately went back to God, because he quickly figured out who I was. He then..."

"I then..." Gabriel interrupted. "...asked her to allow me to protect him and Aziraphale. There's a lot that goes to it, and if I can, I'll explain it to you someday, but I basically defied her plan. She didn't fell me, obviously, but based on the request I made and the nature of it, and the fact that I was pleading and offering to protect Raphael and everything he holds dear, she bound me to the task while making sure I keep up with all of my other tasks. If I fail in protecting him at all costs...I fall. Immediately. I bargained my grace in order to protect him and everything he holds dear. He can communicate with me whenever he likes, but that doesn't mean I always come when he calls. If I'm on a mission he either has to figure it out for himself or wait. I have his mark on me and he always has a piece of jewelry on him that has my mark. I protect him, his three children, and I control Aziraphale's orders, commendation, and anything that involves him really, so that I can make sure Heaven doesn't bother either of them. There's a lot more that you don't know, but that's...the basics. I protect him with my life and with my grace."

"Wait...THREE children? There were only TWO!"

"The boys are biologically mine, but my daughter, she was a Nephilim made between an angel, who was burned for his crimes, and a human who suffered for birthing her. I took in a human daughter as well, so I have a daughter in Heaven, one on earth, and you've met my boys."

"You said that Aziraphale didn't know, though." She mentioned with a furrowed brow.

"I HAD to tell him who I was once they were born. You probably noticed that they were both wearing eye patches on opposite eyes. That's because they have two different colored eyes. The eyes that are covered...are mine. The eyes I had in Heaven. When they were born, there was no denying my eyes, so I had to tell him who I was. It didn't go well at first..."

Gabriel snorted out a laugh as he rolled his eyes. "Understatement."

"BUT..." I glared at him. "...it's better now."

"Wait...you make it sound as if YOU gave birth."

"I did. It was while I was punished for library incident. I was forced to be a woman, and well...Aziraphale got me pregnant."

"Why couldn't I sense them...your twin boys...until I focused real hard on them?"

"God's blessing." I shrugged.

She blinked with a dropped jaw before her shocked mouth split into an open grin of disbelief. "A DEMON getting God's blessing! OH! This is too rich!"

"Beelzebub..." Gabriel pleaded as he took her hands in his, causing her to gasp before looking up at him in immediate concern as if a 'Gabriel' switch had been turned on. "...NO ONE can know about who Crowley was and is. No one can know about the extra tasks I have taken. No one can know about Aziraphale and Crowley being together. No one can know about his children. Please!"

The softest smile I had ever seen on Beelzebub since she was in Heaven appeared gracefully on her face. "Oh, you handsome fool, you. Of course I won't say anything to Hell. I'm going to help you."

"What!?" Gabriela and I asked at the same time.

"I'm not going to risk my mate falling. I'm not going to risk Raphael dying again, let alone Crowley getting discovered. He's my only friend in Hell, and it would a piss poor way of repaying him for reuniting us." She then suddenly looked nervous. "That is...I mean...if you still...he said you were heartbroken by my fall...I...If you love me still..."

"I never stopped." Gabriel breathed out, gaining a brilliant smiled from Beelzebub, who then surged froward and kissed him on the lips. Once moaning started to happen I cleared my throat loudly, and thankfully they BOTH got the message, because they both blushed slightly before sitting up quick as lightning. "S-So...we'll BOTH be protecting Raphael."

"Yes, but we'll also BOTH be protecting _Crowley_." She stated as if it were the most absolute fact.

"Oh, boy...I think I'm really lost here." I told both of them as I leaned forward, clasping my hands together. "Beelzebub, why would you risk the WRATH OF HELL to protect ME? I understand if you're doing it so that there is an even less likelihood of Gabriel falling, but I know you, and there's more to it than that. There's also more to it than me being your friend in Hell."

She let out a heavy sigh before giving me her full attention. "Do you remember how you sacrificed yourself for Aziraphale?"

"Uh, yeah. I still have the scar." I smirked bitterly.

"Yeah, well...It was more memorable than you think. You were the kindest, most patient, most caring, and the most fun angel out of all of us. When Lucifer struck you with his blade and SMILED...a lot of us realized just how wrong we were, but it was too late."

"So...you're going to protect me so that I don't die again?" I asked feeling a bit more confused than before.

"Yes, because you're still you. You're a demon, Crowley. Only God can change that and it doesn't seem like she's going to be doing that anytime soon. You were basically an innocent in the battle. You've NEVER wielded a weapon. You always had your staff, because you never wanted to draw blood, but then you sacrificed ALL OF YOURSELF to save your mate. If Gabriel's life is tied to yours then I will protect both of you by mainly protecting you. I of course can't be seen defending an angel, let alone an Archangel, but if the occasion calls for it, I can defend you and your actions. I'm also still excellent at fighting."

"I know." I grinned with a fuller understanding of things. She wanted to protect her mate like I protected mine. With her life if necessary. "I helped train you in Heaven." I stood up from my chair with a slight grunt, looking at the two of them. "Honestly, I would love to continue visiting, but if either of you are missing for two long, both head offices are going to get suspicious. Gabriel's practically covered, but Beelzebub, you're not. I'll try to make it to where the two of you can see each other again, but you both have to go."

"S-So..." She started as she got to her feet. "...you'll let me protect you on my end?"

"NO ONE can know who and what I am, that I have a family, that I'm Aziraphale's mate, that I have children, and that I still have my angelic powers. Do you understand?"

"Yes." She nodded her head seriously. "I'll protect your boys too."

"Beelzebub...this is very strange. You know that, right?"

"Considering I watched you die, I hear rumors that you're alive, then it turns out that not only you're alive, but you've lain with your mate and have two fledglings? YEAH, I'd say I understand that this is strange. Here, I need to give you my mark."

"Oh, seriously!?" I groaned.

"Yes, seriously." Gabriel huffed. "You have my mark so I can communicate with you, it's only fair that if she's protecting you too, that you have hers as well."

"I thought GOD pressed my mark into you."

"She did, but it wasn't exactly like there was anyone else around to do it. Anyone can do this. Well...anyone like us. It's how some angels communicate with one another now a days. However, it's only those who are either mated, or who trust one another with the strength of one who is mated."

I rolled my eyes, but relented. "Fine, but it can't be placed on my body. It has to be placed on jewelry, otherwise Aziraphale will notice."

"Makes sense." They shrugged, so I took off the pendent I was wearing that looked like an eight pointed star with an emerald in the middle. I turned it over, and showed her Gabriel's symbol. She took it in hand and focused. Now, one might think that her symbol would be flies, but no. When she handed it back to me her symbol shone next to Gabriel's. The symbol of a rose. It shimmered with red, pink, and orange for the petals and a dark forest green for the stem and thorns. I put it back on and tested it. 'Beelzebub, can you hear me?'

'Yes, of course I can hear you.'

"Gabriel, did you hear any of what I said to Beelzebub just now?"

"No, I did not."

"Perfect. Now I get to have TWO annoying voices in my head. I get to have an angel and a devil on my shoulder protecting me."

"Don't abuse it, Crowley." She growled out before leaving.

"She's right. Now that you have both of us, you'll have to be careful who you call and where." With that, he left and my house was empty, all except the twin fledglings who have been hiding behind the wall since Beelzebub started talking about protecting me. "Boys, out from behind the wall. Now."

"Are you really going to trust her?" Orion asked.

"Is Uncle Gabriel really mated to her?" Draco wondered with a curious expression rather than a rude twisted one.

"Yes and Yes. Now, who wants a trip to Edinburgh? I'm stressed out and could use some of your Father's reading and I want to watch he does with the tempting bit with the clan leader."

"YEAH!" They both shouted and I knew that I was going to have my hands full for the next few eternities! Although, there was that matter with the end of the world being written that I didn't like. I'm sure they were exaggerating though. Why create this only for it to end so horribly?


	18. Dressed Like That?

"So..." I started as we sat down at our table, now that Aziraphale was finally dressed in what he should've been dressed in when coming to Paris. "...tell me again why you DIDN'T change clothes before I arrived?"

"I told you, I..."

"Yes, you wanted a nibble, but Aziraphale, I know you better than that. Why did you REALLY not change clothes?" The waiter came by and cleared his throat. He asked us in French what we wanted to eat, so I ordered for the both of us considering I've been here before. When he smiled and left, I turned to face Aziraphale and found that his jaw was dropped, eyes were wide, and the most remarkable blush was on his cheeks. "What?"

"You speak French!?"

"I...yeah? I thought you knew."

He quickly closed his mouth, instantly turning the shocked expression to one of joyful awe. "No, I didn't. That's impressive!"

"No..." I huffed out a laugh. "...what's impressive is your determination to not tell me the truth about why you would put your corporeal form at risk."

He pouted with an indignant huff as he rolled his eyes. "I knew what was happening here. I knew what was going on. I knew about all the deaths. I DIDN'T know if it WAS your work or not. I had only heard rumors, so...I thought...well...you've always been there when I've needed you in the past, so...when I couldn't find you no matter how hard I looked, I..."

"You've got to be kidding me." I blinked several times as if that would erase the implications of his words. "You heard a rumor or three about THAT being my demonic work, and when you couldn't find me, you DELIBERATELY got captured, because you knew I'd save you?"

"Well...you have to understand. I couldn't find you, and so much killing...almost without just cause...it just...wasn't the you that I knew, so I immediately began to become worried. I didn't know what to think, what to do, and when I couldn't find you...not only that, but our children are currently in Italy...I didn't have anyone to help me, so I...erm...summoned you...the only way I knew how. It worked." He then furrowed his brow as if a sudden thought with a tendril of realization happened upon him. "You know...for years...nearly since the beginning, it's almost as if there's a tether between us, but you're the only one that can feel it."

"Funny thing about that..." I sighed, but was quickly interrupted by the waiter coming back with our food that came to the table miraculously fast. Almost...Aziraphale level miraculously fast. I couldn't help the soft chuckle that left me once the waiter left. "...impatient, Angel?"

"Just a little." He grinned, then looked at his food. "OH! You got my favorite!"

"Ah, irony at its finest! Of course the apple crepes are your favorite. I got strawberry and cream for me, obviously."

"Yes, it looks delicious. Now, what were you saying concerning the 'tether' remark I made?" He immediately started eating his crepes, looking at me like how the twins used to when they wanted a story before bed.

"Yeah...um...well...there is. A tether of sorts, I mean. God put it there, or maybe it was always there, but we didn't need it in Heaven, but yeah. It's how I'm always able to find you, how I know when you're in Heaven, and how I know when you're in trouble. It um...often times pulses with your heartbeat, and when your heartbeat picks up in a panic, I know you're in trouble and I come to you right away."

"That's..." He said once he was halfway through his crepe. "...rather sweet."

"Not sweet, just doing what I'm meant to. Protecting you." I rolled my eyes once I noticed the disbelieving smile. "Alright, alright. You win. I suppose it's sweet, but, Angel...I have a reputation to uphold!"

"Oh, _so sorry_, My Dear!" The sarcasm was more palpable than my own skin. "We wouldn't want _that_ to get ruined now would we? Why, you're a demon that sleeps with his Heavenly mate...a demon that had children with their heavenly mate...a demon that adopted a Nephilim and a human...a demon that rescued an angel from Hellfire...Oh...but your glorious reputation, that is NEVER just humans to blame...yes...let's make sure that _NEVER_ gets tarnished. How dare I think you're sweet." He rose a brow at me, causing me to chuckle low with a shake of my head.

"Who taught you sarcasm again? Surely it couldn't have been me. Perhaps our daughter."

He grinned at that before taking a sip of his wine. "She's certainly skilled at it. Must take after her demonic Father."

After that we ate in a comfortable silence and then we headed back to my place here in Paris. It was a one story house with the usual three rooms, furniture, garden, bathing pool, living room, and kitchen, but this time mine and Aziraphale's room was on the other side of the house away from Nova and the twins' rooms. "Well, this is home for right now. I suspect you plan on making your bookshop in London your permanent home?"

"If I'm allowed to, yes." He nodded. "It grows tiresome, having to constantly move. It would be nice to have a solid base of operations, and that way, if Heaven needs me, they don't have to work to find me."

"You do know..." I smirked as I grabbed some more wine and glasses before heading to the sofa in the living room. "...you have to SELL books in a bookshop?"

"You do know I can still smite you, My Dear?" We sat down together and both laughed at ourselves. "Oh, well...I'm sure I'll think of something. I don't think I could stand the thought of someone taking my books. I've worked so hard to get them. I'll keep the most important ones upstairs, you know, but downstairs will be for show."

"You could make your store hours heinously ridiculous."

He nodded his head as he pursed his lips at the idea, and oh how I wanted to kiss them, but this was important and we only had so much time with him NOT having commendation. "I could do that." He mumbled, but then his eyes lit up as he turned to face me while I was pouring him a glass of wine. "We could have a private backroom! Upstairs would of course have the same rooms as all our houses have had since you allowed me to be their Father too, but the back room could be where we drink, talk, and just...BE. There will be plenty of nooks and crannies for you to hide in with your snake form if Heaven comes in, and that way you'll be able to listen in on whatever they say!"

"And _I'm_ the demon?" I scoffed with a feeling of amazement coursing through me. "Well, that does sound like a plan." I handed him his wine, he thanked me, and then took a large gulp of it. "Whoa! Aziraphale! What's wrong? You know better than to gulp wine down like that!"

"I just..." He looked into his wine glass as if it may provide him with some courage to continue, but we both knew that wouldn't happen so he let out a heavy sigh before looking at me with a worried expression. "...I'm worried, Crowley. As the years progress I'm getting more visits from Heaven, I'm being watched more closely, and I worry that they'll find out about our arrangement and...destroy you. I...I don't want that to happen. I don't know what I'd tell Nova, Orion, and Draco. What if...what if they find out?"

"They won't find out." I stated, trying to reassure him. _'They won't find out, because I have Gabriel and Beelzebub protecting me and lying for me and...I should really do something for them at some point. Damn...'_

"How is it you can have so much faith, being a demon while I, an Angel, have dwindling faith in our arrangement?"

"Probably a little optimism left over from being who I was in Heaven." I muttered, but knew he heard me. "It'll work. Our arrangement. They won't find out, but if they do, we'll think of something. We always do."

"Yes, you're right." He nodded before looking up and ahead, smiling slightly as he noticed the caged dove. "Another one of Nova's?"

"Yes, I'm sure it's going to be a thing for as long as she's alive or at the very least as long as I'm alive." I glared at the dove just as it was flapping its wings.

"I think it wants out." He pouted.

"No, it just likes being talked about and gaining attention. Prideful little prick if you ask em."

_'Watch it, Raphael!'_ The dove started to flap angrily and I started to cackle, holding my stomach as I tilted my head all the way back.

"I don't think it's truly all that funny, My Dear."

"Oh, but it is. Then again, I may just be pleasantly drunk. Who knows?" I died down into a few chuckles as I looked at the dove in the cage. "He knows how to get out, the crafty bugger. I've seen him do it. If he's in there, it's because he wants to be, I assure you."

_'Well, at least you're not wholly lying.'_

_'Me? I would never, Gabriel!'_

_'Sure you wouldn't.'_

"Say, Aziraphale, what frivolous miracles was Gabriel talking about anyway? You said he got onto you."

"Oh, well, I may have um...Well, My Dear, I miracled my clothes clean when they got dirty, I miracled a few couples together, I miracled myself to be a woman for a bit just to see what it was like...I lasted a month. Honestly, Crowley, I don't know how you put up with it as long as you did. I also miracled a few glasses of wine to be better than what was served, I um..."

"Got it." I snorted out a laugh. "Frivolous. Yeah, that sounds a bit...well...why did you miracle couples together? I understand the other things, but...the couples?"

"I...well...I was thinking about us...in Heaven...before you fell, and it took some of the pain away. Getting couples together like I did."

_'How is that frivolous?'_ I asked Gabriel as I nodded my head at Aziraphale.

_'What he DIDN'T tell you is that he's also had to miracle some...messes...from thinking about you. Surely I don't actually have to say it.'_

_'No.'_ I tried not to grin in amusement, but I couldn't help it. _'I understand exactly what that means.'_

"Crowley, why are you grinning at me like that?"

"Oh, because you just admitted that you missed me. The...Heavenly me." It was a partial truth, but the amusement came back when I heard Gabriel sigh in my mind. _'Feeling awkward, Brother?'_

_'You have no idea.'_

_'Really!? When I brought you and Beelzebub together for the first time since she fell, I was pretty sure you two would've had sex on my couch had I not reminded you both I was there!'_

_'The other frivolous miracles were...'_

I couldn't help it, I bursted into laughter, startling Aziraphale quite a bit. "My Dear, are you alright?"

"Yes, I...I just had a funny thought is all. You um..." I tried to calm myself, but I was still chuckling lightly as I continued to feel the death glare from the dove. "...Do you happen to remember who Gabriel's mate was?"

"I um...no...I don't. I never spent THAT much time with him. I'm a Principality, he's an Archangel, and by the time we were mated, I saw him even less because I was always with you, my Seraphim and Archangel."

"Ah, well, you're never going to believe this, but...Gabriel's mate fell." He gasped in shock and then thwacked my arm. "OW! What the Heaven was that for!?"

"That is NO laughing matter!"

"Well, it is when I tell you who she is. She's the Prince of Hell. Beelzebub." His eyes went wide as the moon...up close...with disbelief. "My thought was, what if they could see each other again? If they could have what we have, but then I rethought it, and it would be a bit too...emotional, weird, awkward, and hilarious."

_'Is that truly what you think?'_ The sadness in his tone calmed my amusement, but I continued to smile for the story's benefit.

_'No, it's not, but I had to say SOMETHING for bursting into laughter out loud and I was definitely not going to say, oh...that sofa that you liked so much in my house during William Shakespeare's time? Gabriel and Beelzebub almost had sex on it. More wine? Yeah, NO! You think YOU felt awkward reading those miracles? I was about to get a very unwanted front row seat!'_

_'You could've left the room.'_

_'Someone help me! It was my own house!'_

_'Comfortable sofa.'_ I could SEE the shrug in Gabriel's more human form despite there not being one at the moment.

_'I can't believe you.'_ I smirked towards the bird.

_'Yeah, well...you know what...I'm done with this conversation. Let me out into the Garden so that I can go back to Heaven. I have reports to read.'_

_'Yeah, I bet you do.'_

I got up and continued to talk. "However, looking back on it, do you think they WOULD react like we did?"

"Well, perhaps not EXACTLY like we did." Aziraphale chuckled while I got the dove out of the cage. "I reacted rather poorly, My Dear."

"And I didn't tell you I was alive for four thousand years, Dearest. We're even."

"No, we're truly not. You never tried to kill me." Gabriel the dove jumped into my hand and bowed his head slightly in thanks.

"Come to the garden with me?"

"Of course." He sighed before following me. Once there, I released the dove and off it flew into the sky. "You know I still mean it. You never tried to kill me. You've, in fact, risked your life for me...several times. You've saved me from more embarrassing mishaps than I care to admit. We are not, and likely will never be...even...as you say. I tried to kill you twice, and I still have nightmares of it. Though they're fewer in number now...they still exist, and I can still see and hear it clear as day you giving one last sorrowful look to our fledglings before I...before...We're just not even, Crowley." I tried to speak in order to convince him otherwise, but before I could, he quickly spoke, "After this, I'm needed in Italy. Seems I have to make up for the frivolous miracles with some Heavenly intended ones."

"I could come help you. Nova and them are in Italy right now, remember? I could cut your miracles in half since I'm on commendation and all. Just tell me what needs doing and we'll get it done in enough time that'll get you commendation too."

"If you insist, My Dear." He sighed out with exasperation, but there was definitely a smile there.

"And wear the right blessed clothes this time, Angel."

"Yes, Crowley." He rolled his eyes and we made our way to being sober and heading towards Italy.


	19. Timeout

_'Hey, Gabriel...'_

_'What is it, Raphael, I'm in an Archangel meeting.'_

_'Wow...sounds boring.'_

_'You've no idea. What's wrong? There's a tone in your voice that means you want to ask me something, but you're not sure how to say it.'_

_'I hate you sometimes.'_

_'You don't have the capacity to hate me.'_

_'What is it, Raphael?'_

_'If I asked you for Holy Water, would you give me some?'_

_'Let me finish with this meeting and then we can talk about your idiocy when I come down there.'_

I winced at his reply, but I kind of expected it. Beelzebub told me to stay on my guard, that Ligur and Hastur were starting to partner together and that they've tried to make multiple claims against me about me not being a bad enough demon. I've seen what happens when that's listened to. It usually ends in torture, alteration of memories, and a visit with Satan himself, and that was something that wasn't on my list of things to do...ever.

It took nearly an hour for him to get done, but I instantly knew when he was, because he miracled himself into my home, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Gabriel..."

"Raph. WHY!? Why are you doing this to me!? I have made a vow to protect you and I've done pretty well keeping Heaven off your back, in the beginning, smiting demons that would come near you or Aziraphale without it being obvious, and since Beelzebub stepped in to help, she's been keeping Hell off your back, or at least trying to. As Messenger, I can say that God said this or that, and it be partially true, because I'm meant to protect you, but Beelzebub doesn't HAVE that option. All she can do is tell you what's going on and to send demons elsewhere. So...WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU ASKING ME FOR HOLY WATER!? THE ONE THING THAT CAN KILL YOU!?"

"For insurance." I shrugged. "In case a demon DOES show up...I'll use it on them."

"And what if it splashes on you, hmm!? You'll be burned! You'll be nonexistent!"

"You just won't help me, because you don't want to fall!" I snapped, quickly growing irritated by him telling me things I already know.

"I DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT FALLING!" He shouted with Heavenly authority.

"Don't growl at me with that Holier-than-thou tone! If I were still in Heaven, I could have you on your knees with a single word, Archangel!" I snapped back with some of my own remaining Heavenly energy, which caused him to widen his eyes as he took a step back. I composed myself, letting out a breath of air, but the rage still boiled in my veins. "I would set it up in a way that it wouldn't harm me in the slightest. I'd make sure that THEY'RE the ones that trip the trap. I wouldn't put myself at risk. I promise."

He shook his head as he took what seemed to be a steadying breath. "I don't care about falling, Raph. I care about losing my brother...again. Only this time...I don't think Mother will bring you back again. I care about my niece and my nephews that will miss you terribly. I care about Aziraphale suffering AGAIN by losing you, but this time...you won't exist any longer. Sure, God can bring you back. Nothing is impossible for Mother, but I don't think she will. I think this life she gave you was a gift and to waste it by putting yourself in danger...I don't think she'd appreciate it.'

"I know she wouldn't. So...is that a no?"

"The most direct and painful no I could ever express. If you want Holy Water, you're going to have to ask someone else. I will not hand you a liquid death. I am meant to protect you at all cost and that means even from yourself. If you acquire Holy Water somehow, I will trust you to NOT get it on you in any way, but I will not be the one to deliver it to you."

"I understand, but...I swear, I'd be careful with it."

"The answer is still no. Holy things can harm and even kill you. Since Heaven, you've always been adventurous and reckless at times, but this is too much. Even for you. Demon or not. You cannot ask me to do this. The answer is no."

"What if...what if I ask Aziraphale?"

"Ask Aziraphale? Raphael, I do believe you've finally lost it. Do you remember how he reacted to you saying who you were after supposedly being dead for four thousand years? Then, you're going to go ahead and ask him for liquid death for you. Holy Water. He JUST got you back."

"He didn't JUST get me back. That was centuries ago."

"And to him it's still yesterday, because he will never forgive himself. You're going to ask him to give you the one and only thing that could erase you from existence!"

"It. Is. Not. A. Suicide. Pill!"

"That's not how he'll see it." He then shook his head with an expression I remember seeing once or twice, but could never name. The closest thing I could call it was Heartbreak, but it was more intense than that. When he stilled his head to look at me once again, there was a sort of resignation in his eyes. "If you decide to ask him, I will be here when that goes south, because it will go south. He will think the same thing I thought, but it will hurt him infinitely more. Yes, he was soldier, IS a soldier of Heaven, and yes, he is as fierce as they come, but his heart is tender for you."

"I know, but I don't trust anyone else. I don't HAVE anyone else and if I went to my children..."

"Armageddon might as well start early with those three if they hear about it."

"Yeah, about that...what are you going to do about Armageddon? Don't you enjoy the world?"

"Of course I do, but Heaven wants a war and I'm expected to deliver. I'm expected to rally ten million angels while Beelzebub rallies ten million demons. We're to fight each other and the Earth will parish."

"And do you even care!?" I scoffed, my fangs coming out without me trying.

"I just said I do! I care about the Earth, the humans, my niece, my nephews, you, and Aziraphale!"

"Aziraphale doesn't know that."

"He CAN'T know that! If he did...it would be problematic and I wouldn't be the one overseeing his miracles anymore."

"If there were a way to avoid Armageddon?"

"Then I would STILL have to rally ten million angels, and Beelzebub would STILL have to do the same for the demons, and we would ALL still have to be in character in a way, but if you find a way, take it. I doubt there is such a way, but I'll still have to be a bastard to basically everyone. You, Beelzebub, other demons, humans, and Aziraphale. Then, if you DO somehow manage to turn off Armageddon, then...I don't know what to do, but if you come close...and I'm there for it...ALL angels will be watched closely including me. Especially me, because I, along with Michael will be leading them. If you come close...I have to urge for it to continue. I don't want that. I enjoy this Earth and everything in it, but I STILL have to be as Heaven has always seen me since all of the angels fell. Since you fell. However, I don't want to talk about that right now. That's in the distant future. All I can say is that I'll be here in your home keeping guard of it once you go to Aziraphale with your request for Holy Water. I'll be a dove in your room so that I'll hear him when he visits, make sure no one interrupts your sleep, but him or your children."

"Fine. What will you tell Heaven?"

"I'll tell them what I usually tell them. I've been sent on my own missions from God and I am not to be followed or disturbed. If they have a problem with that, they can take it up with God. You ARE my own mission from God, so I'm not lying in the slightest. If I have to guard you in your sleep, I will."

"Aziraphale will likely feed you bird seed." I smirked with a slight wryness in my tone. "How do you know if I'll go to sleep?"

"Aziraphale is your last resort. If it goes as horribly as I'm predicting...you're going to want to succumb to sleep to try and forget."

"H-How horrible are you thinking?" I asked with wide and nervous eyes.

"Very. Go on, write your letter to him saying that you want to meet him."

It took a week to hear back from Aziraphale. We met, and it...didn't go well. It went as well as Gabriel thought. I said things I didn't mean, things I don't think I could take back even if he knew it wasn't true. I broke his heart when he read the paper. I felt it in our strange tether. It trembled in a way that made me almost think that that the tether itself was beginning to shed tears. So, once he was out of sight, I made my way home where Gabriel was indeed waiting for me. He sat on the sofa and he didn't ask me anything. He didn't speak to me. He merely looked at me with pure pity and remorse in his eyes. Pity for the pain on my face and the remorse for being right. I knew him well.

I went upstairs to my room, because he was right. That fight left me hollow-hearted, because now I understood what Aziraphale meant all those times he said he still felt guilty about the things he said to me centuries ago. The heartbreak I personally caused and witnessed...and the fact that I made him angry...it weighed on my heart more than the four thousand years of not telling him. I thought about it on my way back from the park, and decided that it was likely due to the fact that we were in SOME form of being together again and I just ruined that by making him think I wanted to off myself. It hurt. No, it ached! If William Shakespeare were still alive he could write at least four more plays based on the interaction and aftermath alone. Of that much I was certain.

When I finally reached my room, I took off my clothes until I was in nothing by my underwear and I crashed onto the bed. I felt covers being placed over me and a strong, but warrior worn hand pet through my hair a few times. "Sleep well, Brother. I'll be here when you wake."

"Wh-What if I don't wake for another hundred years?"

"Then in a hundred years, I'll be here. Shifting your home and your wardrobe to fit with the times."

I felt sleep take me in the most wonderful of ways once I physically felt the promise of his words shine in the necklace I wore. "Wh-What if..." I quickly spoke, grabbing a hand to the necklace. "...What if Aziraphale comes and tries to take it off? What if...What if he sees the symbols?"

"I will guard it while you sleep. Since I'll be here, I can speak to you in human form when he's away. You may or may not hear me, but I'll guard it none the less. I'll put it in one of your wardrobes. I AM the only person that can take it off after all. Perhaps I can turn it into the lock on my cage."

"H-Hate ssssseeing you in a cage, you know. It'ssss wrong. Your wingsss are sssstrong and...and..." Sleep was pulling me under with an unrelenting grip now. My control over it slipping. "Y-You...You cassssted a miracle on me...didn't you, you basssstard."

"Guilty. Now rest, Brother. I'll be here, I'll guard the symbols." I felt him take off the necklace before my senses vanished in an instant as the large tidal wave called sleep washed over me in a blissfully heavy push and pull.

_I'm in the nothing once again. It's heavier than it used to be. Wait, that wasn't right. It had no weight. It SHOULDN'T have weight. "Mother?" I called out as I started to walk in the dense nothing. It felt as if I was surrounded by dark matter, but I knew I wasn't, because thought it was heavy, it was also soft. Moving through this felt as if I was walking at the bottom of the ocean. Dense, thick, watery, making me feel weightless while weighed down and compressed at the same time. Then, a flash of light appeared and the ocean feeling went away as everything was replaced by the nothing I knew in the very beginning._

_"Hello, Raphael." Her voice in my dreams like the wind through the trees, soothing the aches in my chest. I turned to face her, tears rushing down my face as I ran towards her, wrapping my arms around her in the tightest hug I could manage. "Darling, you know you're dreaming, don't you?"_

_"I...I suspected. It...It didn't feel like the nothing I knew for a while."_

_"When humans have dreamless sleep they don't truly dream of anything but the nothing, but when they wake, they forget about their 'Nothing' dream. You being who you are, were walking around in the 'Nothing Dream' energy. When you called my name, I changed everything. I sense Gabriel's miracle at work here. Are you all right?"_

_"Do you truly even care if I'm all right?" I mumbled into her shoulder. "It's been so long and I still don't know why you've done this to me. I know he loves me still, and I've said it twice that I still love him. Once when he didn't know it was me, and once when I was telling him who I was, but it's as if...he won't believe me that I still love him. It hurts, Mother. Being this close yet so far away, and in the park today. I...I asked him for Holy Water."_

_"I'm aware of the Holy Water. Gabriel came to me with tears in his eyes. It gave me quite the start."_

_At that, I pulled away from her with widened eyes. "What do you mean!?"_

_"Let me show you."_

_She waved her hand and the nothing changed into a FULL SCENE of being in her library where she was reading. It was a rule that only Gabriel, being the messenger, or any of the Seraphim were only allowed in God's library, but at the moment there was no one. She was reading Hamlet...of course! When I was about to say something, there was a frantic pounding at the door. Memory Mother looked up with confusion and concern before miracling the book back to wherever she kept it. She then waved the door to open, revealing Gabriel behind the door. He came in, shut the door, and stood there with his head bowed. "M-Mother?" He questioned quietly with a choked sob, earning an even more worried look from Mother._

_"What is it, Gabriel?" She asked as she stepped towards him. Once she made it there, she gently tilted his head up so she could see his eyes, and gasped when she saw tears in his eyes. "Why are you crying, my dove?"_

_"Raphael...he...he asked me for Holy Water."_

_"He what?" She whispered in pure shock._

_"Th-That wasn't part of your plans, was it? To bring him back just for him to RISK accidentally ending himself?"_

_"No. It most certainly wasn't. Many things were thrown off by Raphael's death, rebirth, and your request. Him dying by Holy Water will NEVER be part of my plans. I brought him back, why would I wish for him to die either by his own hand?"_

_"I don't know. I...he...he's going to ask Aziraphale for the same thing, but I told him no. We had a small argument, but I...I promised that once he went to go and ask Aziraphale the same thing, I'd be there. I will, I promise and I'll be there as long as I'm needed."_

_"Just as you've vowed. I know. This...This is concerning news. DOES he want to end his life?"_

_"No. He's said he doesn't."_

_"Well...does he know Aziraphale will likely tell him no?"_

_"I've told him."_

_"Of course. Well...if he DOES manage to gain Holy Water...we're all going to have to trust him to use it with more caution than anything before, and we're going to have to trust him to NOT use it on himself. Rest, Gabriel. You need it, and then got to meet Raphael in his home."_

_The memory vanished and we were standing in the nothing once again. I looked down and gasped in shock once I realized I was returned to my original appearance. I was muscular, my robes were back to their original color, my abs and pecks were defined and my legs were thicker with muscle. "Wh-Why am I back to this!?"_

_"It's a dream. You've had them before. Dreams are quite like me. Anything is possible. Right now, it's possible for you to return to your original form. However, let's talk about what you witnessed in my own memories."_

_"I...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt Gabriel, or you, or Aziraphale."_

_"I know, Raphael, but you have those who care about you, and the ones that do care...the ones that know you and what you are...when they hear the words Holy Water and the fact you want it...can you understand how it may come off? How it may sound? Even if they were entirely sure that you wouldn't use it, there's still a chance that some of it could get on you and that's an added fear. Knowing that you wouldn't kill yourself, but wondering if just ONE false move were to happen...if it would end you with just a splash or even a drop. I promise you, Raphael...Holy Water can kill you. Permanently. I can bring you back, but it will be like before and I'll have to alter your soul that much more. I don't wish to. I already altered more than I had wished. If I alter much more, you won't be you any longer. It's possible, but every possibility has its downsides. For every good thing there is a bad. It's how things are balanced. You should know this better than anyone."_

_"I know about balance. You and I discussed and created it. I remember our beginning very well, Mother. So, I AM limited to this life?"_

_"Raphael, like I said, I could always bring you back, but if I remake your soul to what it was in the beginning, you might as well have been made that day, because it will bring your soul back to its beginning. The same can be said for if I returned it to the soul you had when you fell. It will only contain the memories from then."_

_"What if...you remade me with the same soul I had before dying?"_

_"Because even after all of that it still wouldn't be completely you. Your soul is yours and yours alone. I can only put so much back into a soul after you've created your own life and that's what you've done. As soon as you and Aziraphale left Eden, you created your own life by your rules and your plans. You've decided how you were going to live, and since you ARE your own person, there are some things I can't replicate. I can put all of the same feelings back, but it won't be the same. It won't be genuinely you. It will be something I made and placed there. Do you understand?"_

_"Yes, I understand." I sighed out before looking around. "You know, I never thought I'd see the nothing again."_

_"It's peaceful isn't it?"_

_"I suppose." I furrowed my brow. "It's empty. There's no life, no light, no sounds, no color...I mean, black isn't even a color here, it's just...nothing. There's no white or black, it's just...empty."_

_"I know."_

_"Why are you here in my dream? I still don't know why you've made me like this, and I haven't seen you in what feels like forever, but when I DO see you, it's almost as if you deliberately try to NOT say ANYTHING helpful."_

_She smiled at me while nodding her head. "That's because I'm not going to tell you what you want so badly to know. You will find out in time the plans I've made and had to adjust for you. You'll find out on your own. I won't tell you how, but you'll know."_

_"I just...there's SO much you're not telling me and we used to tell each other everything."_

_"No, I had my plans since the beginning. I didn't tell you a lot of things then, just like I'm not telling you a lot of things now. It's not time for you to know them yet."_

_"How...How long have I been asleep then? I know you, and I know how dreams work."_

_"You've been asleep for four years, and Aziraphale is starting to get worried. Would you like to see?"_

_"Yes, please. Can you show me what Aziraphale is doing currently?"_

_She nodded her head before waving her hand, once again changing our surroundings. This time she started walking behind Aziraphale, so I followed. We eventually made it to the door of my house, and I noticed that Aziraphale seemed thinner, paler, and his clothes were a bit unkempt. All in all...he wasn't himself. "Before you ask, he hasn't eaten, slept, drank, or really cared about himself since your fight. Gabriel had been with you the whole time in both human form and dove form, Nova has been in and out, Orion and Draco come in twice a month, and when they're here and find the letters of what you must get done for Hell, they've done it for you. Aziraphale has only brought it on himself to finally visit you. Nova had explained your situation to him a week ago and he scarcely believed it."_

"I..."_ Aziraphale spoke with a voice completely unlike him. It was timid, unsure, hoarse, and...guilt ridden. _"...I shouldn't be here, but...I have to see if what Nova said was true. Not that she would lie about such a thing, but...I...If he's been asleep as long as she said he's been asleep...Then it's my fault."

_"NO!" I shouted, quickly reaching out to grab his shoulder to try and tell him it wasn't his fault, but when my hand was supposed to touch his shoulder, it went through him instead as if I were a ghost."_

_"This is a vision of current events, Raphael. This his happening in real time, but you're still asleep upstairs, dreaming."_

_I watched helplessly as he unlocked the door with Nova's key that had a small engraving of a flame on it, and he walked through. We followed him up the stairs all the way to my room, where God and I moved to the side to see his expression. What I found caused my heart to ache. He held a hand up to his mouth and tears formed in his turquoise eyes. _"I did this. Oh, Crowley."_ His voice was shaking now, but I was growing confused._

_I looked over at my body and blinked several times at what I saw. My hair was growing out everywhere, it was messy, tangled, my black clothes, though obviously kept clean and changed, were wrinkled and twisted around my body. My skin was as pale as a fluffy white cloud, the underneath of my eyes looked worn and tired like a humans did when they didn't get enough sleep, and I was somehow thinner. "Mother, we're an angel and a demon, why are we affected like the humans are?"_

_"Because the two of you have hearts and souls. Though neither of you will die from being malnourished, you still have some of the similar effects."_

"Crowley, I'm so sorry."

_"It's not your fault, Angel." I sighed out before noticing the worried looking dove in the cage. "Gabriel? Can you hear me if I'm talking in my dreams?"_

_The dove'_ _s eyes blinked a few times before flapping in what seemed like surprise. 'Raphael!? I haven't heard your voice in four years!'_

_"I'm here with Mother. I'm watching things right now. I can see Aziraphale. She's told me that he hasn't been taking care of himself."_

_'He hasn't, and there hasn't been one frivolous miracle. I even made a crepe restaurant open up to see if he would eat then, but he looked at it, sighed, and walked away.'_

"How is it that Nova, Orion, and Draco haven't brushed your hair?" _He asked before miracling a brush in his hand. He then miracled more pillows behind me, propping me up quite a bit. He then lifted me up enough to where he could sit behind me, pushing me forwards slightly, but not enough to where I'd be uncomfortable. He then started to brush my hair. _"I'd miracle your hair to be cut, but I'm not sure if you'd like that." _He sniffled as he brushed my hair gently and carefully. _"I should've visited you after the fight. Even a week after the fight. When...When Nova told me that you had been asleep for four years and that you haven't woken up at all or even acknowledged she was there...my heart dropped, My Dear. I...I'm not even sure if you can hear me. If...If you can, I'm immensely sorry. I...the second time I tried to discorporate you...after...I had told God I would be better. I promised God I would be better for you, but it seems I've failed if I've done this to you. I...you must know that I didn't mean a word of what I said. Well...aside from refusing you Holy Water. I still can't do it. It took me quite some time to come to terms that you would never use it as a suicide pill. You love your children too much for that. Then, I thought about it...I had never seen you fraternize with anyone else, but me and your children. I thought even more about it, and wondered if perhaps there was another angel you spoke with. If you had somehow gotten in contact with Gabriel, but that would be impossible considering he would likely smite you on sight. Then...I wondered about a demon, but you don't speak kindly of them either. I was a fool, and I know you can't hear my apology, but I'm sorry."

"Aziraphale..." I whispered out in awe and concern.

"Of course...I still can't give you Holy Water, but...I'm sorry for the things I've said. I'm sorry for not realizing sooner that what you said was no more than a hissed out lie. I'm sorry that our children quickly deduced that we had a fight and had been taking care of you these last four years. I'll...visit when I can. I'll take care of you while you sleep whenever I have the opportunity to." _He looked over at the dove, who quickly started to try and eat the bird feed that I knew was miracled to taste like whatever Gabriel wanted to eat, knowing that he has told angels, including Aziraphale that he didn't eat, but I knew he did, and drank wine too! Aziraphale smiled at the dove kindly as if silently thanking it for being there. _"At least Nova has brought you some company. You know, one would think with her affinity for turning into an owl, she would keep pet owls or some such. I wonder why it's a dove."

_"Probably because that dove is Gabriel and always HAS been Gabriel." I muttered with a slight smirk. The vision went away and we were back in the nothing. "Wh-What!? Bring him back!"_

_"No." She breathed out with the sound of an ocean wave crashing against a cliff at high tide. "You will rest, you will allow him to care for you, and you will wake up when I decide."_

_"A-Are you putting us in time out?" I asked as I remembered doing a similar separation thing for the twins, but it wasn't through sleep and dreams, it was through different rooms and chores._

_"Actually, yes. You've both been idiots for longer than I care to acknowledge." My jaw dropped as my brain ran out of things to say, so she continued. "You were my wisest angel, Raphael, and in many ways, you still are, but you lack common sense, and you speak before you think. You often times have the patient of many saints, but you're also quite emotional. Now, being emotional isn't a bad thing, but it can be when harsh and untrue words are said in a fit of emotion. Aziraphale had done the same to you after you gave birth to Orion and Draco. It's been like a frustrating dance that NEITHER of you are in tempo for."_

_"Angels and Demons DON'T dance, Mother."_

_"Regardless..." She sighed in frustration as she pinched the bridge of her nose. "...I've had to shift my plans around since The Fall, and I've been doing well at it in my personal opinion, and the two of you in my plans have done great. However, that doesn't make it any less infuriating when I have to watch the two of you tripping over yourselves and blaming yourselves in almost constant succession. I'm also tired of the ridiculous fights that could simply be solved if EITHER of you bothered to TALK to each other. You two used to speak all the time, but now..." She groaned as she crossed her arms and all I could do was gawk at her, because she was actually acting like I did when I was being a frustrated mother or father, depending on how I felt at the time. "...NOW, apparently YOU'VE grown allergic to showing emotion in public, and Aziraphale has grown allergic to talking and listening for more than ten minutes unless a meal is promised. You are BOTH in timeout."_

_"What's Aziraphale's punishment!?"_

_"Seeing the damage words can do. Seeing what thoughtless actions can lead to. Seeing what NOT listening can cause. However, more importantly, it's also a way for him to realize how much he needs you. That last one is for both of you, because I do not want to hear EITHER of you say that you don't need the other. BEFORE The Fall, I made you for each other, and so help me, I will not allow such a thoughtless and such a hurtful phrase cross either of your lips again! You're in timeout, he's in timeout, and he will receive minimal missions, but he will still feel your loss as you will not be there to smile with him, to laugh with him, to drink with him, to encourage him, to make love to him, to hold him, to kiss him, to simply be there awake and alive with him. While YOU, will be able to hear everything that goes on outside. You will be asleep, paralyzed in your form. You will not require food, drink, exercise, or anything else you've grown accustomed to. The only people you will be able to communicate with are Gabriel and Beelzebub."_

_"You um...know about Beelzebub?"_

_"Of course I know." She scoffed. "What makes you think anything gets past me? I'm the ultimate parent and I created parents in the first place."_

_"Right, right...but...don't you think you're going a bit overboard?"_

_"Nearly six thousand years and I've witnessed the two of you and your struggles, your spats, your petty arguments. I've watched the two of you listen and not listen, talk and not talk, I've seen the two of you claim blame for things that WERE the other's fault and things that entirely weren't EITHER of your faults. I've had enough of your squabbling and though I am a hundred percent certain it will continue in the future, I am going to put a stop to it for now."_

_"Is it...Is it because I lied to him and said I didn't need him?"_

_"YES! It is also because he ALSO LIED and said it was MUTUAL. The both of you are being idiots, and I raised BOTH of you better than that. I've GIVEN you PLENTY of opportunities to be better than that. I will tell Gabriel of your punishments so that he is made aware, but I will summon him back to Heaven after Aziraphale leaves. When I leave, you will begin to hear and sense everything that happens to you, but you will not wake up."_

_"Why not punish me when I didn't tell him who I was?"_

_"That was simply not telling. Though it was foolish, it protected him in some ways. What you did in the park was outright LIE to him like a CHILD or FLEDGLING, because you didn't get what you wanted. So...you're in timeout and quite literally grounded."_ After her rant about our punishments, she vanished and I felt my senses rush to me like a harsh wind. I was suddenly aware of EVERYTHING. Sounds, touch, smells, and tastes, but I wasn't aware of sight and I couldn't move.


	20. 1941

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I know the chapter is short, but I didn't know what to do with this and the writer's block was getting REALLY annoying so...HERE! :) Enjoy!

The years passed. I felt them pass. They were excruciatingly slow, and through the years, I spoke with Gabriel and Beelzebub about various different things just to keep me sane. Beelzebub told me how Hell was, the different Commendations I gained due to my children, and Gabriel told me how my children were as well as how Aziraphale was when he was secretly following him as a bird. Aziraphale finally cut my hair to shoulder length and he kissed my head every time before he left, whispering a prayer to God to allow me to wake soon, and every time I could feel a singular tear drop fall onto my face.

MANY years later, and felt Mother's curse lift, and all at once, my body felt Heavier than anything. At the moment, I could hear Gabriel walking in in his human form. His steps seemed saddened. They hadn't seemed like that before, and he hadn't really arrived in his mortal form before. He's always stayed as the dove in case Aziraphale showed up at some point. It was...odd and disheartening. He sat down next to the bed, and I decided to pretend to be asleep for a little longer to hear what was wrong. "Raphael, are you ever going to wake up?" He asked with sorrowful voice. "I know...I know I usually come in with good news and how Aziraphale is doing, but...I'm here for me. It...It feels as if I'm talking to a corpse, or a gravestone that looks like you. I...I've heard you through our link, but sometimes I think I'm going crazy. Sometimes I hear you in my head when I know it's not you. It...It's been difficult. I...I watched you die in Heaven...then you came back from the dead...then you get punished by Mother to be like this. I want to laugh with you again. I want to spar with you like we do sometimes. We're still tied, you know. How you can tie with me with a staff is beyond me, but you've kept me in training and on my toes, so there's that I suppose."

The door opened once again and I heard the familiar shuffles of feet from Orion and Draco. "Is he still not awake?" Draco asked with his own uniquely worried tone.

"No, he isn't." Gabriel sighed.

"Uncle Gabriel..." Orion asked with his curious tone. "...Did Grandmother happen to say how long she'll punish him for?"

"No, she did not. What are the two of you here for anyway? I thought the two of you just left to take care of some of his demonic errands."

"We were on our way to the docks to board the ship..." Draco started.

"...but then we saw you, and we thought to ask." Orion finished.

"We need to get going though." Draco stated. "The ship will leave soon. It was good to see you, Uncle Gabriel."

"You as well. Stay safe." They said their farewells and closed the door behind them. "Please, wake up soon, Brother. I feel like I'm losing my mind."

"Hmm..." I hummed as I opened my eyes up at him with a confident smirk. "...Strange, I thought you already lost your mind when you went to God to request to be my Guardian Angel as it were."

"RAPHAEL!" He shouted and just as I was moving to sit up, I was suddenly burdened with an arm and lapfull of an Archangel Gabriel. He wrapped his arms around me, despite pinning me back down to the bed, and held me in a crushing hug.

"Gabriel, you're my brother and I love you, but get off so I can talk to you face to face rather than chest to chest. Also, you're directly on top of me, and um...I have a mate, you have a mate...you're my brother...it just wouldn't work."

He got up and hit me in the shoulder with a false offended expression before getting in his chair. "How long have you been awake?"

"Since you walked through the door." I gave him a toothy grin, feeling more awake than ever.

"You're a fucking bastard, you know that!?" He groaned, but I could see the physical relief in his shoulders.

"Thank you. I do try. Now..." I looked down at my clothes and found they have changed just like my room has. "...how much have the times changed?"

"More than you think. You now have a human name, because the humans wouldn't accept your name as just Crowley."

"Oh?" I blinked a few times. "What did I need a human name for?"

"For helping humans as a sort of...secret agent of sorts? You've also stolen from Nazis and returned items or given them to safer, less insane hands."

"Nazis?" I asked, because it was such a strange word, and I didn't know why, but I knew I didn't like it. "Tell me about them and what I've supposedly done." He spent three hours talking to me about them, giving me a detailed history of what they've done, what they're doing, and what they plan to do, and I swear I've never felt more sick in my entire life. "And...what's my full name?" I asked, trying to suppress the bile and fury in my throat.

"Your full name is Anthony Jay Crowley."

"J? Like the letter?"

"No, Jay as in a blue jay bird. Nova and the boys picked out the first name, but I selfishly chose the middle name, because...it's um..."

"It's your favorite bird, isn't it?" I grinned with a risen brow when he rolled his eyes with a suddenly flushed face. "HA! It is! Well, at least it sounds interesting."

"Yes, but Aziraphale hasn't heard of your new name. He's been..."

"Busy, I know. Must be the Nazi business. If what you're saying is right, then that lines up when he started visiting me less and less." As soon as I said it, I felt something twist in my link to Aziraphale in a nervous manner. I focused on it and closed my eyes to will myself to see what he was seeing. I've never tried it before, but I thought why not, it might be interesting and it might be useful. What I saw set several bells off in my head. He was muttering to himself that the Nazis won't know what hit them and how dare they ask for his books, but he was packing his books into a bag. When I left from seeing things from his perspective, my vision was blurry and I could feel blood coming out of my nose.

"Raphael! What did you just do!?"

"I saw the world through Aziraphale's eyes." I told him, but another reason presented itself. "Without his consent. I've got to get dressed and go to him, is there anything that can take me to him faster than a set of wings?"

"Well, perhaps not faster, but you have a license in your wallet and a beautiful car out front. Here..." He touched a hand to my head, giving me a spark of healing for everything that was wrong while he also sent the knowledge of how to drive. That last one made my ears ring, but it soon dulled. "There, and as far as clothes..." He looked me up and down before snapping his fingers, miracling me in all black clothes except for my tie. "There you are, and..." He took the necklace out of his pocket, showing how different it was. It had the same chains, but the pendant was small, circular, and it had an emerald gem in the middle of it while it held his and Beelzebub's symbols on the back. He put it on me and tucked it beneath my shirt to where no one could see it. "...ah, now even I feel better, knowing I won't have to take it off again for a while."

I nodded my head at him before getting up from my bed, giving him my own tight hug. "Thanks for looking after them for me, but I have to go."

"I understand." He said as he tightly returned the hug. "Go. I'm sure he's doing something foolish."

"He is, but I'm about to do something even worse, because if what you've told me is true, there's only one place he would be heading with books, and also I felt the thought enter my own mind, so at least I have an address." I immediately made my way to what was apparently my car, and Someone she was beautiful! Sleek, black, shiny, sturdy looking, and not a scratch on her. When I got in, I hadn't even put the keys in the ignition before she started up, revving with what I could've sworn was excitement. "Oh, you're a bit sentient are you?" I chuckled lightly before beginning to drive her towards where I felt Aziraphale was. _'Gabriel, was the car sentient while you had her?'_

_'She's sentient!? She wasn't that way when I or the kids had her, and I know Aziraphale hadn't done anything to her.'_

_'I'm to blame.'_ Came God's voice.

_'Is that...'_ Gabriel started.

_'Yes, it's me, God. I'm interrupting your connection. The sentience of your vehicle is because of me. I felt somewhat bad for having you asleep for so long, but I HAD to get my point across. Do you understand why you were punished and are you sorry for it?'_

_'Yes and yes, Mother. I vow to never lie to Aziraphale about anything ever again.'_

_'Even about Gabriel?'_

_'Can that be an exception since he's supposed to be secretly helping me?'_ I asked carefully.

_'I'll agree to that. Now go. I know what you're planning and I don't have any grievances for it as long as he doesn't get discorporated.'_

_'THANK YOU!'_

I got there, and he seemed to be both relieved and angry at seeing me, which was strange, but he miracled a shield around us and I miracled one around his books just in case he forgot. He did. I then grabbed the books and handed them to him, and there were sparks and explosions of several different emotions coming from him as I walked through the rubble to my car. "Cr-Crowley!" I heard from behind me once I made it to the car, and I could hear the shuffling of rubble coming from Aziraphale's feet.

"Still here, Angel." I promised him before opening the door that he would be going through.

"I...I can see that, Crowley." His voice was shaking, which struck a concerned chord in my heart, but I wasn't going to mention it until we were back at his bookshop.

The ride there was silent, but I felt his anxious gaze burning into the side of my face as I drove carefully, quietly, and with the lights off. When we got inside the bookshop, I closed the door behind me, and turned to face Aziraphale. I would think he would've pinned me to the door to kiss me, but he hasn't. In fact, he seemed more anxious than ever. "Everything all right, Aziraphale?"

"Well..." He said as he set the book bag down with a furrowed brow. "...I don't know. Is it?" He asked as he wrung his hands, looking at his shoes, causing me to notice that nearly NOTHING had changed about his outfit since I last actually saw him in person.

"What do you mean? I asked you, Aziraphale. You should know the answer to that."

"That's not what I mean, My Dear." He sighed. "I...When you saved my books, I felt...well...I...um...I didn't know what it was until I lost the feeling of it for nearly eighty years. I...I felt your love for me, and it...it was heavy, warm, wonderful, and...oh..." There was a faint smile on his face as he talked about it, which eased some of my anxiety a bit. "...in all the universe we created together...there aren't words how it felt. It was...Ineffable in a way. I...I also felt something else, but I could be very wrong...but...I believe I felt forgiveness."

"You weren't wrong." I breathed out. "I do forgive you. You did nothing wrong, after all."

He shook his head as he let out a mirthless chuckle. "I do believe you are wrong, Crowley. I said some awful things at the park, and it seems...well..."

"I've heard your apology, Angel. I was aware of everything that was happening around me, I just...couldn't wake up. I don't want to talk about it if it's all the same with you, but...I was aware of everything. Thank you for taking care of me, Dearest." I brought a hand up to the side of his face as gently as he could. "What I did...what I said...was wrong. I am so very sorry for lying to you." I then closed the distance between us, pressing my lips against his in what felt like sweet sweet relief and freedom. I could reach out and touch him now! When I pulled away from him, I heard a pouting whine, bringing a grin to my face. "The lie? Was that I never need you. That is the furthest thing from the truth. I need you. Don't know where I'd be without you."

"It's the same for me." He nodded his head.

"So I've gathered." I smirked.

"Wh-When um...When did you wake up?"

"Just about an hour ago. Sensed you were in trouble, or about to be in trouble, so I made my way over."

"B-But...the Bentley and your fame...I..."

"Well, we DO have some good children and Nova always has that trusty dove of hers, doesn't she?"

"What does the dove have to do with anything?" He furrowed his brow at me with pure amusement in his eyes.

"Perhaps it's a good luck charm of sorts." I replied.

"That's a good answer, My Dear. Now...I DO believe we have some time to make up for."

"Yes." I smiled at him as anticipation coursed through my veins and even my wings that were hidden away. "We do." I finished as the wave of his lust and love crashed over me. "We have LOTS of time to make up for."


	21. Holy Water

When I walked back into my flat, I was still stunned by everything that just happened in my car. I had called off the robbery, let them keep the money and their useless pissed off tempers, and I just leaned against my now closed door, holding the tartan thermos he handed me. As I was sulking and contemplating, I heard shuffling in my flat, quickly gaining my attention, drawing me forward. Once I made it to my 'office' room, which had just a desk and a throne, I found Gabriel sitting in the throne with his feet on my desk. "What are you doing here?" I sighed in agitation.

"What are you doing with Holy Water and why are you so bitter...and why the Hell does your hair look so awful!?"

The look on his face told me he was both worried and completely pissed off. "Why are you so pissed off?"

"Well..." He grunted before taking his feet off of my desk while I put the Holy Water in the safe behind the painting I had placed just over it. "...One of us has to answer the other's question."

"I agree." I shot back, spinning the lock back in place once the Holy Water was secure and still, and I closed the picture before turning around to face him. "So, since you barged into my home, how about you answer first?"

"I've seen you go through a lot you know." He stated calmly, but his shoulders were still tense in a way that asked, 'When is the penny going to drop, Brother?' He let out a shaky breath as he looked me in the eyes despite my sunglasses still being on my face. "I've been through some of it with you. I've seen you suffer with Aziraphale not knowing who you are, I've seen you suffer because he DOES know who you are, I've seen you being punished by God, I've seen you love humans as friends and one as an adopted child...and I've watched you lose them, I've witnessed wars with you, I've witnessed plagues with you, we've witnessed Death's handiwork together, Raphael. We've seen Disease and Death work together to corrupt minds into purposefully causing their own demise to grant Death a soul for the taking, but Raph...I'll be damned if I let that happen to you. I saw Aziraphale in Heaven mere hours ago, and thankfully it was ME who saw him, and THANKFULLY I was still in bird form, otherwise he would've noticed me, but...he was crying as he took Holy Water from Heaven. I was watching his heart break, and I knew instantly who the Holy Water was for. Then, I decided to spy on your conversation in the Bentley. You were apparently going to have humans do it, and risk them screwing up...handing you something that could've had even a drop of Holy Water on it."

"I wasn't going to use it to kill myself!" I growled. "I thought you knew that!"

"I thought I knew that too!" He spat back, pure fury and heartache in his violet eyes. "Humans...they don't think, Raph. You know this! Why would you let them do it?"

"Because you WOULDN'T and I thought Aziraphale was the same. Apparently I was wrong."

"You're right." He breathed with a slight nod. "I wouldn't and you knew why. I can't lose you again. Aziraphale can't lose you again. Your children never knew the loss of losing you."

"No one was going to lose me! I was going to be careful!"

"Well, now you don't have to, huh?" He scoffed, but there was absolutely no mirth in his voice. This was a scolding.

"How dare you scold me, Gabriel." I glared at him as I allowed some of my old self to come through. "I am the first angel to have ever been created, and you dare try and put me in my place with mere words?" I sounded like my old self in such a way that surprised even me, but it seemed my heart, soul, and grace felt all of my emotion and started controlling my speech, because normally I wouldn't be speaking to him like this. I would've just told him, 'Don't fucking scold me, you bastard!' but apparently not. "If you want to challenge me, simply say so and we can spar here and now, and you'll be on the floor in fifteen seconds. I'm giving you an extra five, because I may be a bit rusty, but oh...I can get there! You are my brother, Gabriel, and always will be even though I am Fallen, but you are not older than me, so don't pretend you can be a supercilious fool and bark at me about how wrong I was and how hurtful I was being. I've learned through ever year, every decade, every century, and every millennia about how cruel I can apparently be without trying, so I really don't need you to remind me! If you want to have a calm conversation, then lets, but do not scold me." After I finished I didn't have any time to register his face or anything else, because I felt my body burn up for about point five seconds before blacking out.

When I woke up, I wasn't in bed, but I was apparently in water and it was fucking cold. I looked around, my vision blurrier than its ever been, leaving me to only see shapes and colors, but I saw no one in here with me. "H-Hello!?" I tried to shout, but my voice came out as a shattered shivering sound. I heard footsteps rushing towards me and soon I saw a familiar soft and solid blob of color. "Aziraphale." I whispered out. "I'm cold." I told him before blacking out again.

I don't know how much time passed between me blacking out with Gabriel to blacking out with Aziraphale, but this time when I woke up, my vision wasn't blurry at least, and not only that but I was warmer. I felt around me and realized that I was under my covers and in my bed. _'You're an idiot!'_ I heard Gabriel's voice in my head followed by a very audible flapping of dove wings in a cage. _'I apologize for trying to scold you, but bringing out your angelic soul like that...calling it forth...when you're a demon...you're a fucking moron!'_

_'I'm just as surprised as you are.' I thought back to him. 'I tried to stop, but I couldn't. I was going to simply tell you not scold me and call you a bastard, but you saw how that went. I knew I could do it a bit, just a tad for affect when talking to humans who accidentally see my wings, but I didn't know I could do it to that extent. What exactly happened?'_

_'Honestly? I'm still baffled by it. I guess Aziraphale sensed something wrong, because as soon as you hit the floor, I sensed him FLYING here in a panic, so I had to quickly turn into a dove and place myself in a cage in your room. I could hear everything that happened though. He fussed over you, and sobbed quite a bit. He felt your skin and apparently you were burning up something awful, so he put you in a tub of ice water. You sat there for two weeks before your...fever...began to come down. It was another two weeks before you woke up and blacked out again.'_

_'And now? How long has it been now?'_

_'Five months, making it a total of six months. While Aziraphale was away to check on his bookshop, Beelzebub came here and I told her what happened.'_

_'How did Beelzebub find out?'_

_'Our marks on you are sometimes a two way link with emotions or health if it gets to a dangerous level. She felt it, but she also felt Aziraphale's presence, so she didn't show up until he left. She found me, we talked, and so far she's been handling your load of demonic work.'_

_'Is she mad?'_

_'No...she actually wanted to try and take care of you if you could believe it. She had the look of someone who wanted to take care of their big brother, but couldn't. She saw you in the tub and shook her head, saying that it looked as if someone put you in a bath of Holy Water, because you weren't breathing and your heart wasn't beating.'_

_'Then...how am I alive?'_

_'We have no idea. Your soul and grace were still spinning, but I think your angelic self took quite the toll on your heart.'_

_'So...demonic heart attack?'_

_'To put it simply...yeah. I asked God about it, and she said she didn't bring you back, which means something happened, but that only leaves Aziraphale left who could've...'brought you back' whatever that means.'_

The door to my room opened slowly to reveal Aziraphale, looking down at the floor, and oh my...his coat is crinkled, his bow tie is off, his hair is in more disarray than I've ever seen it, his shirt looks as if he wore it to bed, tossed and turned, but didn't fix it, and his eyes...as they looked down to the floor...looked oh so tired and emotionally worn out. "Aziraphale?" I whispered, not trusting my voice to go any higher, but he looked up at me immediately and with a shaky breath he fell to his knees and started sobbing, which set off all of the alarms in my head, causing me to leap to my feet out of bed to go to him. Thankfully I didn't fall or slip or black out again, because once I made it to him, he had his face buried in his hands, tears spilling out in large drops and thick streaks while his body shook with how much he was crying. "Aziraphale, I'm here. Please stop crying. Why ARE you crying?"

"I...I thought...wh-when I found you...I thought...I...the Holy Water. I thought you...I thought you drank it, b-because...I...I felt your heart stop. I felt it as if it were my own. Everything in me stopped and I colder than anything I've ever known. I felt lifeless, hopeless, and worthless. I...I flew here as fast as I c-could, but when I found you...I...I couldn't find the Holy Water, so...I thought you did it. I thought...I thought I killed you. Oh God, I thought I actually did it. I thought I killed you. It felt just like when you died the first time! I c-came here and y-you were on the floor...motionless, breathless, and your heart wasn't beating! I t-touched your skin and felt how hot you were so I quickly made you an ice bath in hopes it would do something and that's when I felt your grace and soul still spinning, but they were going DANGEROUSLY slow! I hadn't left for two weeks and in that time I hadn't even told our children what I found. I couldn't. Then...I heard you speak while I was taking care of your plants...I felt your heart start again. I was so relieved I almost didn't know what to do when I saw you dazedly looking at me, but then you said you were cold and passed out, so I quickly got you out of the water, cursing myself for putting you in cold water, knowing that you're cold blooded and that the cold bothers you."

"Hmm...but that doesn't entirely explain why you're crying. I can understand you feeling guilty about those things, but not to the point of tears."

"I keep messing up. I keep hurting you. I...I'm a terrible mate."

"No you're not." I chuckled warmly. "I didn't use any of the Holy Water, if that makes you feel better. It's hidden away and safe until I need to melt a demon with it."

"I'm still a horrible mate."

"No, you're really not." I turned his head out of his hands to make him look up at me. "You took care of me even though you were mad at me."

"Mad at you!?" He gaped at me in horror as he quickly shook his head. "What on Earth would make you think that I was mad at you!?"

"Well, despite everything we've been through...you said I go too fast for you. I mean...I figure...after having children together...I must've made you so mad somehow that now we were going to fast, but I don't know what's too fast."

"I thought...well..."

"You mean...after you realized that I wasn't going to use it for a suicide pill...you started thinking I would use it as a suicide pill again?"

"Yes." He nodded with an ashamed look. "You've...we've...seen a lot and...oh...I know I'm foolish, but I wasn't ready to let you go. I won't ever be. I already lost you once, and somehow it's more frightening knowing what that feels like than actually experiencing it again. I...I can't. I know you might think I'm strong, but I am only so mentally. Emotionally..." He let out a dry chuckle with no mirth. "...I have a lot to work on."

"No you don't. I would've reacted the same way if you asked me for Hellfire. I'm a demon, remember? I don't do emotions." This earned a sudden hearty laugh from him.

"What do you mean you don't do emotions, My Dear!? You have three children that say otherwise! You've taken care of me, done blessings...even when it WASN'T part of the arrangement." At this he rose a single brow at me through his tears. "I'm sorry I said you go too fast for me, but perhaps...we can leave it at your awful driving?"

"My DRIVING!?" I laughed before wrapping my arms around him. "I'll have you know, Angel, my driving is exceptional."

"Remind me, Crowley..." I could hear the sarcasm start while I felt his shoulders relax exponentially. "...We created the universe, yes? We helped God do it. I wasn't aware that we created another one, and somehow in that one, you're a good driver."

"Heh, you just don't know, because you don't drive."

"I don't know what cocaine or LSD is like either, but I've witnessed it enough to know I never wish to find out. Similar to your driving. You may enjoy it, and that's good for you, but me...the passenger...It gives me such anxiety to watch you speed through town with reckless abandon."

I leaned away from the hug to give him a kiss on his head before getting both of us to stand. "Whatever you say, Angel."

"Say..." He started once we both sat on my bed. "...what happened to get you on the floor anyway?"

I promised I would never lie to him, and I intended to keep that promise even now. "I got into an argument with a friend and a little of my angelic self came through. It was...strange and disorienting. I hadn't meant to do it. Meant to call them a bastard, but apparently there's a shred of angel still in me after all."

"It wasn't another demon was it?" He gasped.

"No...it wasn't." I breathed out as the anxiety started getting stuck in my throat. "I don't want to talk about it."

"And...they just left you like that!?" He scoffed. "Some friend! Oh, My Dear. I'm so sorry...I don't even know them."

"Oh...you've met them once or twice." I stupidly added. "But that's not the point. I don't want to talk about it."

"Then we won't. Right now, I'm just thankful that you've seemed to forgive me...again. Oh...I've no idea how I'm supposed to return your kindness."

"Not kind, Angel. I'm a demon. I can't be kind."

He rolled his eyes with a huff before nodding his head. "Whatever you say, My Dear."

We continued to talk the whole night about his worries, what he did for me while I was out cold, and what he was doing just after he gave me the Holy Water. Apparently there was a lot of self drinking and crying before he felt my heart stop. We briefly talked about how Heaven and Hell were both discussing...separately...about the end of the world, but that was a very SHORT discussion. I wasn't looking forward to it at all like the other demons and Aziraphale didn't really give an opinion on the matter. He just stated that Michael was helping Gabriel get the angels ready.


	22. The End?

Tried to call Aziraphale, but it didn't go through, because of my idiot self shutting down the phone lines! _'Gabriel! We've got a problem!'_

_'What is it?'_

_'I was just given the Antichrist! I was just given the Nephilim that will end the world! I literally have the ACTUAL tiny terror in the back seat of my car in a basket!'_

_'What do you want me to do!?'_

_'I tried to call Aziraphale, but because of me, I can't reach him through my cell phone and I've still got a ways to a phone booth. He should be at his favorite sushi restaurant. The one I told you about, the one where they know him. Go to him and tell him what's going on in the best way you can with the position you're in. When I get to a phone booth I'll call him and tell him that he and I need to talk.'_

_'I'll tell him the Heaven got word that things are happening and that you're involved. I've got nothing to do, so I'm going now. Thank you for telling me. I assume Beelzebub knows.'_

_'I assume so. She would've helped to deliver the baby. It was supposed to be her job since everyone found out that there would be an Antichrist and it would be Lucifer's Nephilim.'_

_'Alright, there's one problem though.'_

_'What's that?'_

_'After I talk with Aziraphale, I have to come back to you...to take the jewelry back. God told me about it a long time ago. Once the Antichrist is delivered, I have to take the jewelry back so that you can't communicate with me during the entire time. We will go eleven years without contact. I don't know what may happen after Armageddon. Good luck, I'll visit you soon.'_

* * *

"Alright..." Aziraphale started after he had finally agreed to the whole Godfather bit. "...so...we'll be a part of his life, but we'll need positions where we CAN be a part of his every day life."

"Yeah, I thought about that. I could be a Nanny, since I've had more experience with children than you have, given the fact that I raised Tana as well."

"I'm glad you still remember her." He smiled softly as well as mournfully.

"I always remember her." I returned the smile, but quickly shook my head to focus on the plan. "Anyway, I could be the Nanny, and you could be the Gardener. Also, we could be married, and that way, the Dowlings won't find it strange if we talk to each other so much. We could make two positions miraculously appear and before you get upset about anyone losing jobs, we could send them to a better paying job or they can win the lottery or something, but we have to do this."

"I agree, My Dear. Besides...it might be nice to be a married couple."

_'Right...as if we're not already married.'_ I inwardly rolled my eyes and around now, I would joke with Gabriel, but the replacement ordinary chain he gave me left me feeling a bit hollow. Millennia of having my brother talk to me and share laughter with me...he took his symbol, but not the jewelry. He decided it in the car, hoping it may provide SOME comfort, but it doesn't, and now, it's just me and Aziraphale against the world, Heaven, and Hell.

* * *

We ended up with the wrong boy! It was a nice eleven years, and I had a fondness for the little devil, but the problem was...He WASN'T a little devil! He was entirely human, normal, an eleven year old with your typical bad mouth and childish words and phrases, who also happened to have a knack for recognizing good and bad people. He met one of the new housekeepers when he was seven, tried to tell his mom that they weren't trustworthy, she told him to go play with his toys, and later towards the end of the month that same housekeeper was caught trying to assassinate Warlock's Father. Two weeks after that, Warlock and I were walking through the park with his mother when a homeless man stopped us, asking for some money, and at first, Harriet was disgusted by him, but then Warlock said he seemed like a good man that had bad luck, and that she should try and hire him as a guard or as a cleaner or something. Now, he was one of the best security men they had. Oh, he could be persuasive and his own strange powers that he may have gotten from being exposed to me and Aziraphale for so long, purposefully pouring our powers into him to influence him...but he WASN'T THE RIGHT BOY!

* * *

Aziraphale met me at the bandstand. He said we weren't friends. He said there's no more our side. He said he didn't like me. He said that even if he knew where the Antichrist was, he wouldn't tell me. He lied. We're mated to each other. There will always be an our side. He loves me. He DOES know where the Antichrist is, and he wants to tell me, but he feels like he can't. He lied, and somehow...that hurt more than him saying it was over between us.

* * *

I lost him. I don't care about anything anymore. I obviously care about my children, but how am I supposed to tell them? I don't have the energy to save the world anymore. My love died. How was I going to tell Nova and the boys? WOULD I be able to? The world's ending after all.

* * *

HE'S ALIVE! OH! MY CLEVER DEAREST ANGEL! HE'S ALIVE AND...He needs me! I have to go!

* * *

To my surprise, Gabriel appeared in a lightning bolt and Beelzebub came up from Hell at the same time. They looked at each other, seemingly communicating through thought before looking at us and walking towards us. I caught Aziraphale adjusting his tie out of the corner of my eyes, so I figured I should do something as well. "Lord...Beelzebub. What an honor!"

"Crowley. The Traitor." She deadpanned, but I could see the hidden look deep within her eyes. They were having to put on the show they were expected to, and for that...there was heavy remorse for some reason. Her voice spoke harshly, but her eyes said she didn't want to have this conversation.

"That's not a nice word."

"Oh the other words I have for you are worse. Where's the boy." I nodded my head to the boy, knowing they weren't going to harm him, but not exactly know what they would do. I knew they had to completely fulfill their main rolls as much as they were able now, but I didn't know what that might entail.

"That one." Gabriel pointed with a false smile. "Adam Young." He walked forward and I could see it on both of their faces. Neither wanted to be in this situation. "Young man...Armageddon must...restart. Right now. Temporary inconvenience cannot get in the way of the greater good."

_'Wow...he's trying hard to keep his stone cold face!'_

"As to what it stands in the way of, that is yet to be decided, but the battle must be decided NOW, BOY!" I watched while Beelzebub was talking, and it seemed as if Gabriel made a physical hand gesture while sending a mental thought her way. At that moment, I realized they WERE communicating through thought! "That izzz...your destiny! It is written! Now START the WAR!"

"You both want to end the world..." Adam started. "...just to see whose gang is best?"

"Obviously! It's the Great Plan." Gabriel answered. "It's the entire reason of the creation of the Earth."

_'Your facade is faltering a bit Gabriel. You're slowly beginning to splutter.'_ I don't even know if he could still hear my thoughts, but thankfully I didn't have to wonder, because Beelzebub interrupted his talking.

"I've got this!" She then moved forward to him and crouched down in an almost endearing way. You know...if it wasn't for the fact that she was trying to get him to restart...The End. "Adam, when all this is over, you get to rule the world. Don't you want to rule the world?"

"It's hard enough to think of things to do for Pepper, Wensley, and Brian to do all the time so they don't get bored. I've got all the world I want."

"Well you can't just refuse to be who you are!"

_'Why? You did when you forced Mother to alter her plans!'_

"Your birth!" He continued, seemingly growing agitated. "Your destiny! They're part of the Great Plan!"

"Um...Ahem..." Aziraphale cleared his throat before heading to Adam so that he could stand behind him.

I frantically looked back and forth between Aziraphale and Adam, swiftly thinking, _'What the Heaven and Hell are you doing, Aziraphale! What the fuck!? Seriously!? What are you thinking!?'_

"...um...y-you keep talking about The Great Plan..." Aziraphale continued.

"Aziraphale..." Gabriel started. "...maybe you should keep your mouth shut."

_'LISTEN TO HIM! YOU DON'T KNOW EVERYTHING!'_

"...One thing I'm not clear on..."

_'Fine! Don't fucking listen! Someone help me, I wish he could hear my thoughts sometimes!'_

"...Is that the Ineffable Plan?" He finished.

"The Great Plan!" Beelzebub shouted, clearly growing agitated the longer she stood there. "It is written! There shall be a world and it shall last six thousand years and end in fire and flame!"

"Yes, yes, that sounds like The Great Plan." Aziraphale agreed, and I could tell by his posture that he was growing a bit braver. "Just wondering...Is that the Ineffable Plan as well?"

"Well, they're the same thing!" Gabriel replied.

Once he said that, I remembered every time Mother told me about the word Ineffable and about her Ineffable Plans, and just like that...a look of realization appeared on my face as everything in me felt hopeful and lighter. _'He's right! Oh my God!' _I quickly thought before I whispered, "You don't know." and headed to the other side of Adam's shoulder, standing next to Aziraphale. "Well, it would be a pity if you'd thought you were doing what the Great Plan said, but you were actually going against God's Ineffable Plan." As I spoke...it ALMOST felt like all of those times I could calmly speak to Gabriel and even Beelzebub. "I mean, everyone knows The Great Plan, yeah?" I asked rhetorically as I nodded my head. "But the Ineffable Plan is - well, it's Ineffable isn't it? By definition...we can't know it."

"But it izzzz...written." Beelzebub stated as she looked directly at me.

"God...does NOT play games with the universe!"

_'Are you kidding me!?'_ I thought with a scoff. "Where have you been!?"

I watched him take Beelzebub to the side to talk to her as if we couldn't all hear what they were saying, when in fact, we all could. "I'm gonna need to talk to um...Head Office. How I'm supposed to get ten MILLION ANGELS to stand down...from their war footing is - it doesn't bare thinking about!"

"You should try to get ten million demons to put their weapons down and go back to work."

"Well, at least we know whose fault it is!" Gabriel shouted as his eyes looked directly at me. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Aziraphale give an actual proud wave, which caused me to smile with pure amusement. Gabriel then walked towards Adam with more falseness in his eyes as he continued his facade. "Young man, you were put on this Earth for one reason and one reason only...TO END IT! You're a disobedient little brat and I hope someone tells your Father."

"Oh, don't worry they will, and your father will not...be pleazzzed." In puffs and pops of green and purple they vanished.

"Weren't they odd?" The woman that allowed Aziraphale to use as a body spoke.

Once they were gone, I felt the scar on my chest being ripped open as if the wound that made the scar was happening all over again, but in reverse. "NO!" The wound was slowly tearing, it was burning, and I could feel the pain getting stronger. It felt like I was dying! "No! No No No No No No No No!"

"What's happening? I can feel something."

The pain ebbed, but the burning stayed there. Now, the pain felt as if I was being stabbed repeatedly in the same spot that Lucifer had first struck me, but I had to get up. Aziraphale didn't need to see this again. So, with the same amount of will power and imagination that held my car together, I imagined that the pain was fine, I imagined that I wouldn't bleed out, I imagined that I could still do anything, if only for a few more moments. "They did it." I answered in disbelief, knowing why the pain suddenly appeared. "They told his Father."

"Oh no."

"And his Satanic Father...is not happy." For a while there were talks of volcanoes, of book girl feeling the aura of the place, people asking what was wrong, Aziraphale saying that the devil himself was coming. "Right...that was that." I told Aziraphale as I felt the pain come back full force. It seemed it was coming in and out of waves, but at some point...there would be a fatal wave...I just knew it, but more importantly...Lucifer was coming. The world was doomed after all, and the firsts to go out by the hands of Lucifer himself would be us. "It was nice knowing you."

"We can't give up now."

"This is Satan himself! It isn't about Armageddon! This is personal! We are FUCKED!"

I heard the hissing of a blade against concrete, then I saw Aziraphale with his sword. "Come up with something or-" My eyes widened, because I knew he wouldn't smite me, but there was a certain amount of determination in his eyes that had me second guessing for only a moment. "-I'll never talk to you again." Well, FUCK! That was worse!

So, through my pain I pushed through time and space and created a pocket dimension wrapped in a hiatus of time. Time wouldn't move here, but it would WAIT to be moved manually by me. I pictured the sands that Adam and Eve walked along just outside of Eden, but in doing so, both my angelic and my demonic power swirled inside this new dimension, forcing our wings out. I heard Aziraphale sigh in relief while I didn't have the luxury. To hide my pain, I placed a new pair of glasses on my face before speaking. "Adam, listen. Your Father is coming to destroy you. Probably to destroy all of us."

"My Dad?" He asked with a hint of a scoff in his voice. "He wouldn't hurt anybody."

"Not your Earthly Father. Satan. Your Father who is no longer in Heaven. He is coming and he is angry."

"So, what do you want me to do about it? Fit him?"

Aziraphale and I looked at each other, both of us remembering what it was like to fight Lucifer. "I don't think fighting him would do any good. You're gonna have to come up with something else."

"But...I'm just a kid." He replied, seeming a bit helpless now, but he was still being brave, so I had to give him that.

"But that's not a bad thing to be, Adam." Aziraphale calmly spoke to him. "You know...I was scared you would be Hell incarnate. I hoped you would be Heaven incarnate, but you're neither of those things. You're much better. You're _human_ incarnate."

"Adam, reality will listen to you right now. You can change things."

"And whatever happens...for good or for evil. We're beside you." We both took his hand as we stood side by side. Aziraphale with his sword and me...with my tire iron.

"I'm going to start time. You won't have long to do...whatever you're going to do."

After that, he told off his Dad, and it felt as if everything reset, but the pain was still in my chest. It felt as if Adam set the WORLD as it should be, but me...not so much, or perhaps that's GOD'S doing. Yeah, that makes much more sense, but either way, Aziraphale and I were now holding hands on a bus on the way back to my flat, not knowing if his miraculous bookshop and my sentient Bentley counted as resetting the world.

Once we made it through the door, the pain increased ten fold and I collapsed, clutching a hand to my chest.


	23. Family Reunion

I didn't pass out, but my vision became blurry. "O-Oh...Oh, My Dear. Let's get you to your bed." When we got there, he placed me gently onto the bed and above my covers, but I still winced at the searing sensation that seemed to slowly spread through my bloodstream. A crackle of lightning was heard and I knew who it was, but unfortunately so did Aziraphale. He instantly went into defensive mate mode and spread his wings, knocking things over while miracling a dagger in his hand. "Don't you touch him!" He snarled.

"HE'S DYING!" Gabriel roared back before pushing Aziraphale to the side, but Aziraphale growled as he pinned the Archangel up against the wall.

"I am a Principality! By all rights and rank, YOU follow MY orders, but I've allowed differently, because God obviously wished it! You will not go near him!"

"He will DIE if I don't help him! Do you hear me!? Or are you too busy protecting your mate to hear when someone is trying to help him!?"

"M-My mate died. You saw it."

I sat up on the bed as carefully as I could and looked at them both. Gabriel let out a heavy frustrated sigh as he leaned to the side to look at me. "Some help would be appreciated, Raphael."

"H-How do you..." Before he could finish, I heard the crackling of the floor, and out popped Beelzebub.

"Well, look at this." She rolled her eyes. "It's not every day you see a Principality pinning an Archangel against a wall with the promise in his eyes to kill someone he considers a threat to his mate.

"Cr-Crowley! B-Beelzebub is-"

"I can see that they're here, Aziraphale. My vision is blurry, not blind."

"You collapsed!" Aziraphale pouted with a worried and confused look.

"I did." I nodded.

He then turned his gaze to Gabriel to glare at him. "Why do you want to help him?"

"Because he's my brother!" Gabriel shouted. "He is not only my brother, but I am tasked with protecting him at all times!"

"Wh-What do you mean tasked?" He furrowed his brow at him as his eyes slid to look at me, but I couldn't quite read the look in them as the pain began to increase, causing me to clutch my stomach and flop back on the bed, shouting and crying out in agony. My blood felt like Holy water rushing through my body while my skin felt like Hellfire licking at my skin, only this time...it felt as if it would leave scars rather than being a soothing balm.

Gabriel rolled his eyes before turning into the one and only dove that we've ever had, he flew over to the side of my bed to stand exactly opposite from Beelzebub, and he transformed back into his usual self. "God tasked me with protecting him at all costs."

"He's...telling the truth..." I hissed through my teeth. "...but...what he's not...telling you is...that he ASKED and BEGGED...God to protect me. He asked...to watch over all of your miracles and...your missions so that he could...properly protect you. The one thing in the world...at the time of his asking...that meant more to me than...anything."

"H-How long!?" Aziraphale squeaked as he stared at me with a slightly betrayed look, but I was in too much pain to react properly, so I just decided to answer him instead.

"The two of you can talk AFTER we heal him." Beelzebub snapped.

"She's right." Gabriel nodded. "Right now...he's being destroyed."

"What?" Aziraphale's horrified voice was so quiet that unless you were a supernatural being of some sort or even half of one...you wouldn't have heard it. "Why?"

Gabriel lifted me up and started taking off my clothes and I obediently moved as he told me before laid on my back. All of my clothes were off except for my boxers, but as I looked down...I didn't JUST find black demon blood coming out, but there were hints of gold coming out. Then, I inspected my arms, thinking I would find normal skin, but no...my arms were covered in scales and violent red lightning streaks going in the exact patterns of my veins. "Because he's overexerted himself." Gabriel explained as he and Beelzebub gently went to work on what I assumed would be explained soon. "Aziraphale, you know who he was..."

"Yes." Aziraphale nodded as he walked a bit closer to me. "I know he was my mate in Heaven. Raphael. Then...he died, but God brought him back and made him fall."

"Yes, well...there's a slight difference." Gabriel breathed out.

"Aziraphale..." Beelzebub started in probably the most calming and sympathetic voice I have ever heard, quickly earning Aziraphale's attention. "...She didn't fell him."

This caused him to furrow his brow as he shook his head in intense bewilderment. "Yes...she did. He's a demon, but...why is golden blood coming out of him too?"

"That's part of it." She sighed out. "Aziraphale...he's not just an Angel or just a Demon."

"God wanted to make him an angel again, but him dying...it left her with no choice but to do what she did. She had to alter his grace and his soul to bring him back." Gabriel added.

"What did she do?" Aziraphale questioned with a worried frown.

"Crowley..." Beelzebub sighed out. "...is a Nephilim."

Seeing that Aziraphale was about to fall over, Gabriel miracled him a plush and comfortable chair to fall into. "Not only is he the first and the oldest angel, but he's also the first and the oldest Nephilim. He is BOTH an Angel and a Demon. The scar he has from when Lucifer pierced his chest is a scar, yes, but it's a supernatural scar. Those who were wounded by Lucifer in battle with HIS sword, but fell anyway...if Lucifer came close to them, their wounds would begin to rip open and at an agonizingly slow pace...recreate the wound and the pain with it until it increases from ten to a hundred fold...until the demon is begging for death. At least...that's what Beelzebub told me."

"It's true. It's why we've had to move demons to different areas, because after some of them were wounded in battle as angels...they switched to our side, immediately pledging their loyalty, and he took them in." Beelzebub nodded

"So...why is he like this? What happened other than the wound...or IS it the wound?"

"It's partially the wound." Gabriel supplied. "Right now..." He pursed his lips to try and explain in the best way possible. "...Aziraphale, do you know how when humans get sick their good cells attack the bad ones?"

"Yes."

"Well, it's a little like that, except...because of the wound...and how he's used his powers today...he has demonic cells trying to attack the angelic ones while the angelic ones try to attack the demonic ones. Basically...Holy Water is trying to douse Hellfire while Hellfire is trying to evaporate Holy Water. His body is destroying itself at an alarming rate and eventually...him. It would be just as if he was dunked in Holy Water."

"If...If he's a Nephilim...why make him immune to Hellfire?" Aziraphale asked.

"That's a good question." Beelzebub hummed.

"Yes, but it likely has an Ineffable answer." Gabriel muttered, but everyone heard him.

"He's a very unique Nephilim. He's different from Orion and Draco." Beelzebub mentioned and at that, I watched as Aziraphale paled, covering a hand over his mouth.

"P-Please..." He whimpered out much like I did when Gabriel said he knew Nova.

"They're not going to hurt them, Angel." I told him with a raspy voice. "They help protect them and keep them out of sight from other angels and demons while we're busy. Our children call them Uncle Gabriel and Aunt Bee." I smiled softly as I remembered how Beelzebub showed up on my doorstep with tears threatening to fall and a huge blush on her cheeks from the twins suggesting that she should be called Aunt Bee.

Seeing that he was stunned, Beelzebub decided to continue. "Draco and Orion...they were born as demonic and angelic Nephilim. They were made like that. However, they also weren't originally one or the other. Crowley was meant to keep perfect balance and be careful with his powers. They can come out in pieces such as a command or a heavy temptation, but..."

Gabriel held a hand up to her with a guilty expression. "Aziraphale, do you remember in 1967 when you handed Raphael Holy Water?" He nodded his head with widened eyes. "I was the friend he had shouted to, only...it wasn't a little of his angelic self. It was an awful lot. I was going to heal him, but you were coming faster than I would've been able to heal him and certainly faster than I would've been able to get Beelzebub up to his flat. We...had an argument about the Holy Water. If I were to give it a percentage...about ninety percent of his angelic self came through, but it proved to be too much and he collapsed without warning while his angelic self tried to burn and destroy everything that made him a demon including his corporeal form, the piece of his soul that God had placed there, and his grace that had to be twisted. Right now though...it's both his demonic and angelic self fighting for dominance, because he wasn't careful enough. Now...it was a good thing he wasn't, but...everything has its consequences."

"Yes..." Beelzebub nodded. "...he pushed himself demonically when he used all of his imagination along with upping his demonic power in order to get through the infernal wall of Hellfire. Then, after his wound began to rip open, signalling that Lucifer was coming, he stopped time and created a pocket dimension with a great deal of angelic power so that the two of you could talk to Adam."

"H-Have...Have you had to do this before? Heal him like this?"

"No." They both answered him.

"We've never had him this bad before. If his demonic self gets out of hand, Beelzebub heals him. If his angelic self gets out of hand...I heal him. Before Beelzebub agreed to protect him just after Hamlet was miracled a success...he had to do it on his own, which didn't go well a lot of the time, but I did what I could with healing."

"Hey...one of you tell me what the two of you were communicating telepathically about." I requested. Then, I felt Gabriel's warm hand on the side of my head taking me back to the scene.

_'Gabriel...' Beelzebub had thought once they both arrived. '...the may have done it!'_

_'Yes, by watching the wrong boy all along, they may have done it, but we still have to play our parts.'_

_Then as she was telling Adam to start the war Gabriel thought to her, 'Bee, you need to tone it down. I know you're agitated and frustrated just like me, but we have to actually work at this. We don't want the world to end, but we have to act like we DO! That will be blown if you look like you just want this conversation to be over and done with already!' It was a swift and quick thought, but it was there._

Then, I was back to reality and they were still healing me. "Ah, welcome back." Gabriel grinned. "Tell me something, Raph. How did Hell find out you had the wrong boy the entire time?" Then the grin faltered immediately.

"I don't know. One minute I was in a theater watching a stupid animation, then Hastur's ugly mug appeared on the screen saying they knew it was me."

"That's what I thought." He breathed out. "Beelzebub and I had a chat while you were out. Michael...she had photos of you and Aziraphale, and I tried to tell her I'm sure there was an innocent explanation, but she didn't buy it so she asked if I minded her checking through the back channels."

"But Heaven doesn't have any..." I started, but then I let out a loud groan. "...the phone! She called Hell's phone! Ligur answers the phone! Ligur and Hastur are friends...probably more, or...WERE friends or more."

"What do you mean...were?" Beelzebub questioned with a risen brow.

"I um...melted Ligur with Holy Water. They were coming after me so I used it to defend myself. Placed it above the door and allowed them to open it so that it would fall on them. Wish I had gotten Hastur too."

"Crowley..." I heard the door open with Aziraphale's voice. "...there's some people here who want to see you." I looked at him and his face seemed more stunned than before and completely tear stained.

"Let them in." I told him and he did. The people that came through caused my eyes to widened exponentially. I expected Nova, Draco, and Orion. Not Mother and Tana.

Beelzebub started panicking but God just chuckled at her. "Don't worry, Beelzebub. I will not harm you, nor am I mad at you. I'm here to thank all of you."

"WHAT!?" All of us but Aziraphale exclaimed.

"Yes." She grinned before motioning for Gabriel and Beelzebub to move. She then healed me with her own hands, which worked instantly of course, but I could still feel Gabriel and Beelzebub's hard work rushing through me. "You're healed, Raphael."

As soon as she said that, I sat up only to be tackled by Tana, which caused me to laugh warmly as joyful tears ran down my face. "What are you doing here, Tana?" I whispered as I wrapped my arms around her. Then, I noticed that Beelzebub and Gabriel moved over to where Aziraphale was standing to allow the next group of people in, revealing Draco, Orion, and Nova. As I looked at them and Tana, I noticed that they seemed just as confused as we were, but that was likely due to the fact that Gabriel and Beelzebub were in the same room with Aziraphale.

"I was given a gift, Father!"

"FATHER!?" Draco and Orion shouted in unison with pure astonishment, wonder, and perplexity in their voices.

"What was the gift?" I asked her once she released the hug.

"She made me a Nephilim too! She asked me which Nephilim I wanted to be. Angel or Demon, and I chose Demon. I'm frozen at the age of twenty five, which is nice."

I looked at Mother and the tears fell even faster as I choked out a sob. "Thank you!" I cried out as I wrapped Tana in another hug. "Wh-Why did you do this?" I asked Mother.

"Because, my Archangel of Guardian Angels still needs his own Garrison after all."

All of our eyes widened this time as my heart suddenly felt too big for my chest. "I...You're..."

"Nothing's impossible for me. You're still Raphael as much as you are Crowley. The two of you are the same and balanced. I can name you an Archangel again if I please and there's nothing anyone can do about it. However, I won't do that until this...traitor business is over with. I will return when that time comes and I will reinstate you as an Archangel, but you will remain on Earth with your mate and children, guarding humanity from good and evil. Until then, I will leave you and your family to get...acquainted. Draco, Orion, and Nova were quite worried when I told them we were coming to see you."

With that, she vanished and I watched as Tana turned to face Nova. "Hello, little supernova."

"LITTLE!?" Draco and Orion gawked in unison.

"Oh, that's right! I haven't met the two of you!" Tana squealed in delight. "I'm Tana. I'm Nova's big sister and by the extension...your big sister too!"

"Boys, don't act so surprised." I breathed out in amusement. "You knew that I adopted a human before Nova. I've told you about it."

"WE THOUGHT YOU WERE KIDDING!"

"Nope." I told them with a wide grin. "This is Tana. My once human daughter that is now a demonic Nephilim. Why Demonic?"

"Oh, well...Nova was an angelic Nephilim so I chose Demonic. I kind of envy Draco and Orion though. They're both like you!"

"Right, well...as much as I want to catch up with you, Tana, I think you and your siblings should go into the living room and have a nice long chat while we figure out how we're going to get through tomorrow."

"No complaints here!" Nova beamed before grabbing Draco and Orion's hands, practically DRAGGING them out of the room until Tana shut the door behind them, being the last to leave.

"So...about tomorrow...when Heaven and Hell are likely to come after us to burn him in Hellfire and drown me in Holy Water."

"We may have a suggestion for that." Gabriel grinned, but it wasn't Gabriel's usual grin. If anything, it resembled Beelzebub's. "Ready?" He asked Beelzebub and earned a nod before they held their hands out to one another, and right before mine and Aziraphale's eyes, they switched forms. Gabriel was Beelzebub and Beelzebub was Gabriel.

I let out a hearty laugh as I felt overwhelming joy and hope soar through every part of my being. "This just might work! If I'm in Aziraphale's corporeal form, he won't get so much as a smudge on his coat."

"And if I'm in Crowley's corporeal form...he'll get wet in the hair obviously, but he won't melt like ice cream!"

"So..." I smirked at Gabriel, Beelzebub, and Aziraphale. "...whose up for the biggest prank to ever be pulled off in six thousand years?"


	24. Unexpected Guests

A month after the swap and the failed executions, Aziraphale and I agreed that it would be best to get out of the city where both offices knew where we were. For Aziraphale, it was a positive move, because this way, he could just simply have his own personal library with no one trying to buy his books. For me, it was a difficult transition, because I've always been in a big city. I was used to people, humans, women with their children, men with their children, mothers, fathers, unruly teenagers, suspicious humans, sinful humans, and in the city, they were everywhere, but out in the countryside where our South Downs cottage was, it was spacious, roomy, and we were right next to the ocean, but it wasn't crowded.

One might think that with how crowded Hell was, I would despise what I had in the city, but the truth of it was, the city gave me a sort of comfort. It felt as if I could hide within the sea of people if I needed to. I felt that, in the Bentley, I could use the other cars as obstacles for anyone trying to chase me. This was, of course, not true as proven by the fact that Hastur was able to appear in my precious Bentley, pissing me off by sitting in Aziraphale's spot.

No, the countryside wasn't easy for me and still isn't, but at the same time, the fresh air it offers, the many different large trees, the sounds of the ocean waves crashing against the shore, and the miraculous expanse of land that we have so that we could place Aziraphale's library near the cottage, and so that there was enough room for me to grow my own mini Eden, I felt a bit content, but more importantly, I felt free. I could sit outside with my coffee, the newspaper, and in the blasted tartan house slippers that Aziraphale had gifted me for a house warming present, and I was able to close my eyes for a few moments to listened to the wind-chimes make their music along with the rustling leaves of the evergreen trees.

"My Dear, you're up early." Aziraphale yawned, now that he was used to sleeping again. He still had nightmares every now and then of various different types involving me or our children getting hurt, but he knew I would always be there to comfort him. What he didn't understand, judging by the expression on his face, was why I was up just before dawn.

"I am." I replied, opening my eyes before setting my coffee down on the table in front of me as well as the newspaper so that I could give my angel my undivided attention. "But then again, so are you. What happened?" I questioned with a concerned expression. "Another nightmare?"

"No, just realized the bed was empty. I went to go and snuggle you, and you weren't there. Was something troubling you?" He asked as he took his own seat at the front porch table next to me.

"Something like that." I answered. "I love our home. I'm content here, but I was always used to the city, you know? I don't think there was a time...since cities were a thing...that I hadn't lived in a city. Now, I'm out in the country, feeling somewhat like I'm in Eden again, or in one of Heaven's gardens with you again. It's...disorienting I guess. Not only that, but I don't have any missions to do. I won't receive any either. I'm on my own. I'm free and I just don't know what to do."

"Hmm...well...while you contemplate that, can I ask you something that's been weighing on my mind?"

A flash of panic appeared like lightning in my chest, but I forced it to go down before making any rash moves or before I say something stupid, which I've had a habit of doing through six thousand bloody years. "Of course, Dearest."

"Oh, good." He sighed. "Well, I know it's been quite some time since I saw Gabriel and Beelzebub hovering over you...healing you...or attempting to before God got there, but...I was wondering why you never told me that you were a Nephilim or about Gabriel and Beelzebub."

Letting out a sigh that held at least six different emotions, I nodded my head, because I expected that question to pop up at some point. "I didn't tell you about the Nephilim thing, because it was something that Gabriel and I figured out a few decades after he first came to me while you were out cold from the library fire. We were both wondering why I was able to still do some things like summoning my staff, heal, or even when I was able to let out a little of my angelic self. Then, after the twins were born, when they were toddlers that were growing into their powers, it was less of a thought or a suspicion. It was then that we realized it was the only explanation. The twins could do both Heavenly and Hellish things. Gabriel went to God to ask her if that's what she did, making me a Nephilim, and it was. She wouldn't say why, but we at least got our answer."

"And about Beelzebub and Gabriel?"

"Well, Gabriel was obvious. Heaven wasn't allowed to know I was alive at all. Then, it was because he had to keep up his appearance with you in Heaven about him being an ass towards you when in fact, he actually likes you. He thinks you're a great angel, and he's helped me protect you as much as he was able. Him being cruel to you was all an act that he honestly didn't want to put on. There's a lot more to it, but...you couldn't know. If you did, then it would bring risks like him failing in his promise, Heaven finding out about me, or Heaven growing suspicious of him and making him fall regardless. Then...you would also be at risk for falling. We couldn't let that happen...so...the act was a thing. As far as Beelzebub...we couldn't risk her getting found out at all. We couldn't risk you knowing, because then you'd be comfortable around her, or you wouldn't fear her. She's a bit more complicated than Gabriel's situation, but I promise...I never lied to you except the one time I said I didn't need you."

"Thank you for telling me now, at least."

"I'll tell you anything you want, Angel." I told him before getting up to give him a deep kiss. While my lips touched his, I felt him stand with me just before my back suddenly met the front door of our cottage. With a low moan, I grabbed his hips, bringing them closer to mine so that he could feel what he was able to do in just a single movement. Soon, I felt his tongue seek out mine, causing me to groan while my knees decided they didn't want to exist anymore. I broke the kiss to hold myself up on the wall, painting and gasping and achingly hard. "Fuck!"

"If you want." He smirked.

"Oh, Angel, believe me, I want!" Just as I was about to take him inside I heard the roar and soft purr of an engine coming towards us until it stopped, instantly killing my mood. "Who the Hell!?" I asked as I looked just behind Aziraphale's shoulder.

"Just us, Father!" Nova said as she got out of the driver seat.

"And...what sort of car is this?" I asked when Aziraphale released me, seemingly with the same question in his eyes.

"Oh, well, do you remember that show I told you about that I really like?" Nova question cautiously with a slightly proud grin.

"You mean the one where you decided to take a page out of my book and whisper into a writer's ear to suggest characters to make one named after me with the WRONG pronunciation? Yes, I know that show. I also know that the show you're talking about...EXISTS AS A SHOW in ANOTHER UNIVERSE!"

"Ah...well...that was...um..."

"Hold on..." Draco furrowed his brow as he got out of the passenger seat while Orion got out of the back seat. "...You and Father made the universe together. I thought...you only made the one."

Aziraphale chuckled lightly, warming my heart with the sound as he shook his head. "My darling child...do you really think it would've taken us so long if we were just creating one universe? No. What a lot of people don't know is that God gave us multiple doors to work with. We created other universes or...alternate universes. God would work with them in her own way and she certainly made them interesting."

"Yes..." I agreed as I remembered something God told me in pure amusement about a week after the Apocanope. "...apparently for her amusement, in that universe she made a show about us from Eden to us dining at the Ritz after our swap went well. Anyway, that's not the point." I shook my head as I glared at my daughter. "That's three universes over. What were you doing over there and who gave you the blasted key to the door!?"

"Grandmother did." She stated proudly. "She said that me and Tana should go and explore what you and Father created."

"Wait..." Orion spoke, seemingly offended. "...why weren't me and Draco given a key!?"

"Really?" Nova snorted out a laugh. "Do you really have to ask that? We all know what kind of trouble the two of you would try and cause."

"Fair point." Draco and Orion shrugged in unison, because we ALL knew that they would try and cause more mischief than naturally necessary.

"Anyway, yeah...I went universe hopping, went under a different name, met the nice and handsome actors, and suggested the name, but I absolutely loved the car they picked for the show...so...here's my 1967 Chevy Impala."

"Hmm..." I hummed with excitement flowing through my veins. "...We should have a race sometime."

"Oh-ho!" Nova laughed out. "You are SO on!"

"Say..." I started as I looked around. "...where's Tana?" As if on cue, something started rubbing against my leg. I looked down and saw a black cat with long silky hair. "Ah...I see Nova and your Uncle Gabriel have been teaching you tricks." I chuckled warmly as I crouched down to softly pet her on the head.

She then ran to Nova's side and turned back into her normal self. "Yup! I chose a black cat, because their beautiful and I get along with all types of cats anyway, kind of like how you get along with all types of snakes."

I was about to compliment her on her choice when an uncomfortable and unfortunately familiar presence appeared. "Well, well, well..." Hastur's disgusting voice sneered in delight as he came up behind my daughters along with Dagon and the demon that delivered the Hellfire. "...what have we here?"

"It seems..." Dagon seemed like she was about to cackle wickedly as she started to circle my boys. "...we have some handsome and strong Nephilim."

"Not to mention sinfully beautiful." Hastur added as he touched a lock of Nova's hair, earning an intensely disgusted glare from her. "I should like to play with them." He darted his eyes towards me.

_'BEELZEBUB! DAGON AND HASTUR ARE HERE! AT THE COTTAGE! MESSING WITH NOVA, TANA, DRACO, AND ORION!'_

_'Those fucking idiots! They were told not to mess with you, but they must've figured out about the swap otherwise they wouldn't have the balls to go topside against you!'_

Lightning crackled harshly while a thunderstorm suddenly rolled in, swiftly revealing Sandalphon and Michael. _'Gabriel! Michael and Sandalphon are here!'_

_'I know! They found out about the swap! I'm on my way!'_ Another lightning crack and Gabriel appeared in between Michael and Sandalphon while Beelzebub came up from the ground near Hastur.

"Oh!?" Hastur cackled. "NOW we have...what do the humans say...A PARTY!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, yes, yes...I know I'm evil for leaving it at THAT cliffhanger and I'm not sorry, but I wanted to make sure the next two chapters had room for excitement and action...so...yeah. See ya in the next chapter!


	25. Heaven

What the Hell do you want!?" Aziraphale growled at all of them with a hint of holy wrath hidden beneath his voice.

"Well...I assume wank wings and the others are here for the same reason we are." Hastur grinned wickedly while I kept an eye on my children. "You fooled us. Good job! Really! That little stunt you did was impressive, but now we know that it was just that. A foolish trick! You're BOTH done for!"

"Oh...but do tell us about these four." Michael purred as she walked around Nova and Tana, then around Draco and Orion. "They're Nephilim. The two girls are half human. One is half human and half demon while the other his half angel, but I can clearly tell that in her blood resides the blood of a punished angel for creating a Nephilim just before the great flood. I can't quite place the demonic one. These two strapping young men on the other hand...they share both Crowley's demonic scent and...yours...Aziraphale." She narrowed her eyes at him as a sly smile grew on her face. "My...what would Raphael think? He DIED for you and how do you repay him? You defiled yourself with a demon, producing wicked little half breed vermin!"

"How are you still an angel?" Draco asked as he glared at Michael.

"No kidding!" Orion snorted out a half laugh. "I know that angels are filled with righteous fury and that they can do some really nasty stuff, but..." Orion smelled the air then smiled. "Oh...well isn't this funny. Do you smell that Draco?"

Draco furrowed his brow in confusion at his twin brother while I was gaping at them both for being so cocky. Then, Draco smelled the air and his eyes widened. "Ligur. Why do you smell like Ligur? He's dead. Father killed him with Holy Water."

Orion smirked as he let out a mischievous chuckle. "Don't you see, Draco? If Ligur is dead and she still smells like him then..."

Draco's eyes widened before he started laughing. "OH! This is too good! You call us wicked little half breed vermin, but you have one of your own cooking in that belly of yours! HA! Don't go judging us on something you've done! I'd say..." He smelled the air again, ignoring Michael's panicked looks as she looked frantically back and forth between a bewildered Gabriel and Sandalphon. "...You're two months along. They're healthy too, that's good."

"Now listen here you...!" She conjured a sword and was about to swing at him, but I quickly pushed her away, snarling at her.

"Don't you touch my boys!" I stood in front of them, making my wings appear in a protective stance.

"Michael..." Sandalphon started with pure disgust in his voice, but I was pretty sure he was just created that way. "...you fornicated with a demon?"

"It was just once!" She shouted. "W-We've been talking, he's been giving me inside secrets on Hell and I've told him where I've noticed Crowley. He wanted to repay me for all f the...help...I've given him and...then I ended up pregnant not long before the Antichrist turned eleven."

"Disgusting." He spat. "You should burn in Hellfire as well for defiling yourself in such a way."

"Hold on..." Gabriel spoke as he stepped closer to Michael. "...was that the back channels you were talking about?" She nodded, but held her sharp gaze on me.

"Yes, but Aziraphale had been spending thousands of years with Crowley in his bed if the scent of his boys are enough to go by."

"Well...if that's the case..." Dagon grinned, baring her insanely sharp teeth. Then, before I could stop her, she grabbed Draco and plunged herself into the Earth with him while Hastur grabbed Tana and yanked her down as well. After that, Sandalphon miracled himself over to Orion and then they vanished while Gabriel did the same for Nova, but I at least knew Nova would be safe.

"Seems you've got two in Hell and two in Heaven. Which will you go after first? Which mean more to you?" Michael chuckled manically.

"And you're carrying a demon's Nephilim inside you. How long do you think they'll let you live?" I shot back, still holding my wings up in a furious manner. "Mark my words, Michael, I will get my children back and all of you will regret messing with me, my mate, and my children."

"We'll see about that." She smirked before snapping her fingers, making a golden rope bind me, Aziraphale, and Beelzebub. She snapped her fingers again and we were in Heaven.

I looked around and we were in the sentencing room that Aziraphale's trial was held in. I saw Nova being held like a prisoner by Gabriel, but I knew it was an act for now and just next to him, Sandalphon was holding Orion in the same way. The spare demon from earlier appeared again with more Hellfire and he relit the pit, creating the infernal tornado again before leaving while Uriel poured Holy Water into a bath next to it. _'Gabriel! What are they doing!?'_

_'They're going to try and kill Nova and Orion up here while they do the same to Draco and Tana in Hell! Then...they're going to do the same to you and Aziraphale.'_

_'You're supposed to protect me! Do something!'_

_'I can't.'_

_'What do you mean you can't!?'_

_'God forbade me from helping in this. You and Aziraphale have to prove yourselves apparently. I'm sorry.'_

_'PROVE OURSELVES!? WE SAVED THE WHOLE BLOODY WORLD! WHAT ELSE IS THERE!'_

_'To save YOUR world. It's...It's a test, but the angels and demons don't know that. They're going to go with it to the fullest extent and if you fail...you really and truly die. There's a riddle. Something God has said to you and something she's done. You're apparently supposed to be able to understand.'_

"Fuck!" I shouted as I thought what his words could mean. I thought about when I woke up, when God was crying. She would've known then what would've happened between me and Aziraphale. I remember her telling me nothing was impossible for her, but if that was the case... _'GOD! MOTHER! I NAMED YOU! DO YOU REMEMBER!? I NAMED YOU AND YOU NAMED ME! IT WAS JUST US IN THE BEGINNING! NOW THERE IS SO MUCH! WE'VE DONE SO MUCH TOGETHER EVEN WHILE I WAS A DEMON! I KNOW MY PURPOSE DAMMIT! MY PURPOSE IS TO BE EARTH'S GUARDIAN, HEALER, AND PROTECTOR, BUT MY BIGGER PURPOSE IS TO BE A PARENT! TO BE A FATHER OR MOTHER DEPENDING ON THE SITUATION! ALLOW ME TO DO THAT! YOU SAID NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE, SO YOU KNOW WHAT!? I BET LYING ISN'T IMPOSSIBLE FOR YOU EITHER! YOU LIED TO ME WHEN YOU SAID YOU COULDN'T CHANGE ME FULLY INTO AN ANGEL WITH MY MEMORIES IN TACT DIDN'T YOU!? YOU DID! I KNOW IT! YOU CAN! YOU LIED TO ME ABOUT THAT DIDN'T YOU!?'_

_'I DID.'_ Came her voice as it was filled with delight.

_'CHANGE ME BACK! LET ME PROTECT THEM! THEY ARE MY WORLD! THEY ARE MY EVERYTHING! I'LL STAND UP TO LUCIFER HIMSELF AGAIN IF I HAVE TO! I'LL DIE FOR THEM, JUST PLEASE! I'LL BE BRAVE AGAIN!_ _'_

I felt a shift in my...well...everything, then I heard her say, _'Welcome back, my son.' _Her voice almost sounded relieved. I'm sure we would discuss it after, but for right now, I needed to break from my binds.

"Release them!" I shouted when I meant 'let them go', but being Raphael again would take some getting used to, but they hadn't noticed I had changed.

"Why would we do that?" Sandalphon laughed.

"If you don't I'll make you regret it!"

"As if you could do anything! A lowly demon!" Bringing on all of my power, I willed the binds to snap, shatter, and turn into dust with a mere thought. "H-H-How!?"

I then focused on my clothes, making my old robe appear, but while doing so, I felt my appearance change as well. I could feel my hair and eyes change to what they were, but not my body. That was okay though. Finally, once everything was changed, I brought out my staff with its twin snakes wrapping around it with new intricate golden swirls and etchings. I felt my marks return to what they used to be as well. When I looked over at Nova and Orion, I noticed their eyes were wide and their jaws were dropped. "I am the Archangel Raphael! I am the first and the oldest angel in all of existence." I slammed my staff down once against the polished floor, creating a rapidly spreading jungle of trees, flowers, fruits, vegetables, berries, bushes, and grass all around us. The Hellfire and the Holy Water bath still there. I released all of my wings, earning gasps from everyone including my children. "You bring forth Hellfire and Holy Water with the full intention of destroying my children!" I stomped towards Sandalphon, who visibly shook with pure terror in his eyes. I was about to say something to him when I sensed Michael and Uriel try to make a run for it. I tapped the head of my staff against the ground, commanding harsh thick vines with thorns to wrap around them and bring them just a bit closer to the Hellfire. "If I sense you trying to leave again, I will not hesitate to throw you in! You've harmed and insulted my family! You will suffer the consequence at my hand!"

"Y-Y-You're j-j-just an A-Archangel! L-Like us! Y-You were the demon Cr-Crowley! Wh-What happened!? Y-You can't have th-this much power!" Sandalphon stuttered.

I turned my gaze to him, feeling the power pulsing through me just like it used to, and I felt warm, confident, furious, vengeful, and immensely irritated! "I am the first angel. I am no mere Archangel! I am the first angel and the first Seraphim! In rank, I am above you." I took a step forward, snapping Beelzebub's and Aziraphale's bindings free. "In power, I am far superior to you." I tapped the head of my staff against the floor again, bringing the same vines to carefully wrap around his arms to release Orion, who then instantly ran towards Aziraphale and Beelzebub. I took a few more steps, tapping my staff twice to command the vines to bring him to his knees while holding his arms back in such a way that forced him to look up at me while another one with far less thorns wrapped around his neck. "In compassion, comparably, YOU are the foulest of demons! You DARE hurt my family! Even if everyone thought I was dead, you DARE hurt AZIRAPHALE'S family!?"

"H-He's...nothing...but...a normal...angel!" Sandalphon tried to argue, the idiot.

"HE IS A PRINCIPALITY AND MY MATE, YOU INSIGNIFICANT WASTE OF GRACE!" I hit the bottom of my staff against the floor, commanding the vines to carry him up in the air. "GIVE ME ONE GOOD REASONS WHY I SHOULDN'T TOSS YOU INTO HELLFIRE RIGHT NOW!? JUST ONE!"

"B-Because I was...created...by God!" He struggled to say as he tried to scrape at the vine around his neck.

"EVEN THE DEMONS WERE CREATED BY GOD! UNLESS SOMEONE VOUCHES FOR YOU SOON, I'M GOING TO PLUNGE YOU INTO HELLFIRE! YOU TRIED TO KILL MY MATE! YOU WERE SMILING YOU VILE DISGUSTING THING!"

"Raph." Gabriel spoke kindly, now holding Nova more gently since he didn't have to disguise himself any longer. "I cannot vouch for him. He's done so much wrong, and he has very little compassion, but everyone deserves a second chance. You were given one. Allow him to have one."

I nodded at him before gently tapping the bottom of my staff twice against the floor, making the vines instantly revert back into the ground from where they came and did the same for Michael and Uriel. "Michael! Uriel! Don't you dare leave! I meant it when I said I wouldn't hesitate!" I growled at them and heard their quickly mumbled, 'Yes Sir'. Sandalphon remained where he was, paler than anything I had ever seen while horror still shimmered in his eyes. I looked back to Gabriel and saw that Nova was still in a hefty amount of shock. "Are you all right, Nova?" I asked her carefully and gently.

"Yeah." She nodded her head.

"Do you think differently of me now?"

"Yeah..." She nodded and for a moment I felt hurt, but then she said, "...but that's because I had no idea my Father was even more of a badass as an angel!"

Feeling relieved I turned around to go check on Aziraphale, Beelzebub, and Orion. "Is everyone over here okay?" I asked.

"M-My Dear...your...your staff...your power..." Aziraphale whispered out, gaining the confused looks coming from Beelzebub and Orion.

"You mean...you didn't know he held such power?" Beelzebub questioned with a furrowed brow.

"No. I didn't. D-Did you always hold that much power?"

"Yes." I nodded. "Gabriel knew of it, because he was the only one who could match my strength before you. I'm the reason there's so many gardens in Heaven. They used to be training halls until I started training and sparring with Gabriel. I stopped when the amount of gardens grew out of hand in my opinion. The next day, God created more angels. You were among the newest at that time."

"Incredible." He breathed out with a wide smile.

I nodded my head in thanks before looking to Orion. "Orion, are you okay?"

"Y-Yeah. My arms are a bit sore..." He stated and from behind me I heard a squeak of panic come from Sandalphon, filling me with a strange sort of delight. "...but you were amazing! Hey, can I take the eye patch off now?"

"Of course you can, and we still need to make our way to Hell to rescue Tana and Draco." However, before we moved to do that, I stepped towards the Hellfire and Holy Water. "First, these need to go." I waved my staff back and forth slowly between the Hellfire tornado and the bath of Holy Water, bending and controlling them to do what my mind imagined, causing the Hellfire to evaporate the Holy Water while the Holy Water doused out the Hellfire at the same exact time, making them both vanish entirely. "There, now that they're gone..." Finally, I turned my gaze back to Michael and Uriel. "You, Uriel, roughed up my mate. You pushed him against a wall. He's told me." She looked down in shame, which was good, but not enough. "Remember who trained you. As punishment for your actions, you will be put through training again as if you were a freshly created fledgling, am I clear?"

"Yes, ArchSeraphim Raphael." She breathed out, seeming relieved that it was her only punishment so far.

"And you, Michael, you tried to have my mate burned for your very same crimes. You've given away Heaven's secrets, you've slept with a demon, you're carrying his child, and yet you tried to have Aziraphale burned for speaking with me? For wanting to stop the world? For wanting to protect what God told us to love and protect from the beginning of Earth!? If I could, I'd make you human, but I can't. So...GOD?"

In a flash of light she appeared with the proudest look on her face that I have ever seen in my entire life. "Yes, Raphael?"

"Can you clip her wings, dwindle her grace, and have her live like the humans do even though she'll still be an Archangel and immortal?"

"Yes, I can do that. For how long do you wish?"

"A full century from today. Then...she can have her wings and full amount of grace back."

"What!? What about Gabriel! He's been the cruelest to your mate, Raphael!" Michael pleaded.

"I am well aware of what Gabriel has done. He has protected me and done EXACTLY as he had been tasked with since The Fall. He has been a secret friend in the shadows for Aziraphale even though he didn't know it, a loyal brother to me since we've known each other, and a loving uncle to my children."

"Accept the punishment Raphael has so graciously given you, because I promise you, Michael, I can come up with something much worse."

"I-I understand. I accept my punishment."

"Good!" I grinned before going back to Beelzebub, Aziraphale, and Orion, who were apparently joined by Nova and Gabriel while I was giving out punishments.

"What of Sandalphon's punishment?" Uriel asked.

"He is being given a second chance at the request of Gabriel. If he fails in it...in ANY way...he will know true punishment." I answered then fully turned towards my family. "Now...all we have left is to storm Hell. Who wants to come?" They all raised their hands with enthusiasm, causing me to chuckle lightly.

"I know where they've taken them. I placed my symbol on Draco centuries ago so that I could communicate with him and know where he's at. They're in the trial hall we built for you. He's told me they're waiting for me."

"Perfect!" I laughed. "Let's go make sure you're not late, then."


	26. Hell

Getting to Hell was easy when you consider the fact that there's an elevator in Heaven that leads straight down to Hell. However, arriving was a different story when you were the newly restored Raphael like I am. We walked out of the elevator and there was practically a horde of demons waiting for us. It was me, Aziraphale, Gabriel, Beelzebub, Nova, and Orion. I looked at them and gripped my staff tightly, focusing on why we're here. "You all have options here. You either move, I cut through you...very violently, or you hand me back my children." I watched as twenty wide-eyes demons left the crowd of fifty with their figurative tails between their legs. "It seems thirty of you are horrendous idiots."

"Let me, My Dear." I grinned at Aziraphale before nodding my head and out of the corner of my eye I could see the questioning looks on Nova and Orion's faces. However, they were swiftly traded by looks of further astonishment when Aziraphale unfurled his wings, summoning his beloved flaming sword that sung with pure delight as he grasped the hilt of it. He began to glow brighter and brighter, then the glow vanished, revealing Aziraphale how he looked in Heaven when he was wearing his robes, but this time...all of HIS hidden markings were all over his body. When God gave everyone their marks, she made them unique for everyone. If I wanted, I could have snake markings all over my body, but I couldn't change the placement of them or the design. For Aziraphale, he had hundreds of eyes all over his body, shimmering a brilliant and Holy gold. "I'll ask once more just for the sake of being polite." Aziraphale warned with his Ethereal voice that sounded like his normal voice, but as if it were echoing and reverberating off of everyone and everything. It was a Heavenly warriors voice. It was a Principalities voice. "Either leave, give the children back that Hell took, or I'll smite all of you with one swipe of my blade." Ten more demons left, but one quickly stepped forward, shaking like a leaf. "What is it?" Aziraphale bit out, quickly growing impatient.

"I...I know where they've taken the Nephilim."

"Well, where are they?" He asked in a very similar way that he asked that ex-nun at the used-to-be convent.

"They were taken into Lucifer's chambers. The very depths of Hell. I...I must warn you though. He doesn't look the same. He's not a mighty and great beast. He looks like he did in Heaven, but he's still very much demonic. Also, I was wounded by him, and when...Adam...sent him away, denying him, he somehow made it to where the wounds don't cripple us when we're near him. So...there will be more demons on your way there, but he doesn't want to give them up."

"Why not?" Aziraphale questioned bitterly as he pointed his sword at the demon's throat.

"B-Because he wants to use them to trap Raphael! He saw the Nephilim called Draco...Lucifer saw his eye that was hidden by the eye patch and remembered those eyes! He's also hoping to trap Crowley as well! Don't smite me, please!"

"You are free to go..." Aziraphale nodded, pulling the blade away from the demon's throat, but once he was out of sight, he didn't spare the others another word as they tried to lunge after him in demonic fury. Like he promise, with one swing of his flaming blade, they were all sliced in half at their stomachs, and they were vanquished brutally by Holy Fire. The affect was much more spectacular than Holy Water, but it did the same thing. They wouldn't be coming back. Ever. "...so are the rest of you." He breathed out as he watched the Holy Flames die down. He then turned to us, still wielding his sword, but in a safe manner. "So...Beelzebub, do you happen to know where Lucifer's chambers are?" It was then that he seemed to noticed the impressed looks on our children's faces while Beelzebub, Gabriel, and I looked at them with amused looks. Their jaws were dropped, their eyes were wide, and their faces were pale, but not in horror. "Nova? Orion? Are the two of you okay?"

"WHY THE HELL DIDN'T THE TWO OF YOU TELL US THAT YOU TWO WERE SO FUCKING AWESOME!?" Orion shouted excitedly.

"Why haven't I seen those markings on you before?" Nova asked sensibly once she was able to close her mouth.

"The markings are a part of my power, strength, rank, and who I am. It's a very complex answer in its entirety, but as far as why we didn't tell you..."

"...we honestly didn't think we'd have to." I finished for him before turning to Beelzebub. "So...Lucifer...where's his chambers?"

"It's further down. I'll take you but you and Aziraphale will have to fight your way through. Gabriel and I will watch Nova and Orion."

Once we made it there, we opened the overly large ruby red doors, and a deep menacing cackle of the original Lucifer could be heard. For a moment, I thought we had been discovered, but then I heard, "You REALLY think your Father is going to come here!? Well, tell me Angelic Demon Nephilim, what is your Father's name? The demonic one."

"Crowley!" Tana growled out.

"Crowley?" Lucifer's voiced calmed in a strange manner. It was as if he was actually contemplating it. While he was silent, we moved a little further in, careful to make sure the door didn't make any noise what so ever as it shut, and we inched closer to see them. When we had them within eyesight I could see that Tana and Draco were actually being kept comfortable. They weren't being held captive or tortured, they were just sitting on couches with tea on the coffee table while Lucifer sat on his double king sized bed with his back facing us. Tana saw us, then Draco, but both had the good sense not to reveal anything about us being here. "Tell me more about Crowley." He requested. Actually requested. It wasn't a demand or a command, which shocked me to no end.

"Why would you want to know about him?" Draco questioned cautiously. "So that you can kill him? Or at the very least discorporate him since you couldn't do away with him with Holy Water!"

"Holy Water?" Lucifer seemed to breathe out in concern. "There's never been Holy Water in Hell."

"There was." Tana sighed. "Do you remember the end of the world?"

"The one that didn't happen? Yes, I remember it well. Considering I was trapped here while Asmodeus ripped a piece of my grace from my chest so that he could work his own demonic work into it. Then, he put it in himself and took the form of my beastly self. After he was turned to dust by my son, which was finer work than I could've ever expected, I used the sword I had in Heaven during the first war and I completely obliterated him. He will never exist again unless God decides so."

"Wait...so...you..." Draco seemed to struggle with words, and I couldn't blame him. It would explain why I was so close to the 'beastly form' of Lucifer on the surface and didn't immediately discorporate, but it was all just so...unprecedented. "...you DIDN'T have the Archangel Michael bring Holy Water into Hell to try and give our father a deadly bath?"

"WHAT!? NO! I would never!"

"Now I'm really confused." Tana stated. "He helped stop the end of the world."

"Yes, and I'm relieved."

"Say what?" Tana and Draco asked at the same time while our jaws dropped.

"I'll explain, only if you tell me more about Crowley." He stated calmly, and this was just getting far too weird for me considering this was once the Archangel that killed me.

"Like what?" Draco questioned with a tilt of his head and a furrowed brow, looking as confused as we felt.

"I don't know." He said as he rubbed the back of his neck. "I'd heard of him, sent him his commendations, sometimes had them with my personal signature to avoid questions, but..."

"Wait, why?" Tana asked.

"Well..." He dropped his hands onto what seemed to be his lap as he leaned forward a bit, his long hair falling like silk to the front of him. "...Probably because I know what it's like to regret falling. A lot of the other demons...they don't like that they fell..." He let out a dry chuckle before continuing. "...in fact, they hate it, and they curse God, they shout at her things that I dare not repeat to you, but they don't regret following me in the rebellion while I...regret it all together."

"Why do you regret it?" Tana asked as she stood from her seat to sit next to Lucifer, placing a gentle hand on his back and...oh my...I felt it. A surge of gentle love between them. It was small, but...it was there. _'HOW!? LUCIFER!? AND MY DAUGHTER!? MOTHER WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING!?'_

_'I'm thinking I'm still ineffable and all of my angels and demons choose their own relationships none of you are actually related by blood. Brother or Sister was just a word or phrase to use because I created all of you. You know that. Now hush, I'm interested in how this will play out. This was definitely NOT what I expected and I'm not doing this. I'm not affecting their affections in the least!'_

"Tana, may I ask...before answering...how old are you? You're a Nephilim, yes, but you're a GOD MADE Nephilim, which is probably one of the most interesting things I've seen in a long long time."

"I was fourteen when the great flood happened. The one with the Ark and Noah. My Father...Crowley...he found me as a baby and took me in. He raised me and taught me many things. He even taught me good things. He rescued me while I was drowning and he also rescued a small angelic Nephilim infant and took her in as well. He named me Tana and her...Nova."

"So he's kind."

"Yes..." She grinned as she turned her head to face him, apparently not noticing the dropped jaw expression on Draco's face as he looked back and forth between the two. "...although...he doesn't like being called kind...or nice...or any good four letter words."

"How strange." Lucifer chuckled. "I...I regret it because I hurt so many. I killed those I considered to be friends, brothers, sisters, and I caused my mate to fall with me. Then...she pulled that stunt by taking my grace and putting on my face..."

"WAIT! You killed your own mate?"

He let out a scoff as he shook his head. "She stopped being my mate the moment she suggested that we kill Raphael."

"Why was Raphael the end of it?" Draco asked quickly, interrupting them as his eyes widened with shock.

Lucifer looked up at him and let out a breath while mine was caught in my throat. "Raphael...he was the best of us all. He was good. TRULY good. He never wielded a weapon, only a staff, and Lord Above he was beautiful. His eyes an amber color, his robes a healing and calming green, his voice was gentle, patient, amused, but it could also be strict when training another. He's the reason there's so many Gardens in Heaven. When he would unleash all of his power in a full on spar between us Archangels or the Seraphs and Cherubs...he created a Garden. However, he wasn't just beautiful in appearance, he was beautiful in personality and how he treated everyone. He...tried to convince me to stop the war that I had started. I tried to get him to join me and I...said horrible HORRIBLE things to him. Then I DID start fighting with him, but I only sought to injure him or his mate. NOT KILL HIM. I threatened him with it, but...I was only going to injure him. His calmness, patience, and plea got to me though, and I would've stopped it...if it weren't for the fact that Asmodeus wanted to kill him more than the other angels. She despised his kindness and beauty. She was always a very jealous angel if someone looked or was treated better than she was. Sometimes...I wonder why God kept her or created her at all. She was my mate, but...I chose to just be her friend. I...felt no attraction to her. Not after she uttered those words at least."

"But you...you killed Raphael..." Draco stated with pure bewilderment.

"I see you've met Aziraphale, then." Lucifer sagged lower at that.

"Well...yeah." Draco replied. "He's my angelic Father. Crowley is my demonic Father and Aziraphale is my angelic Father."

"Oh..." Lucifer breathed out in a strange mixture of shock and confusion. "...I...I wouldn't have expected him to move on. Um...tell me more about Crowley and I'll tell you more about why I want to know."

"Um...well...it would help to know what you know about him." Tana supplied and it seemed we were just going to sit back and relax as we watched this strange turn of events unfold.

"Well, I've been told he's a coward, that he spends most of his time up top, that he has never once tortured a soul, which makes him and I the only ones to never have tortured souls..."

"No..." Tana shook her head as she brought the hand that was on his back, to his hand and held it gently, bringing out a gasp from him, which made my eyes grow wider. "...not what you've heard...what you KNOW."

Lucifer let out a heavy sigh as he nodded his head. "I know that I apparently injured him in battle, which means he was one of the angels that was injured by me, but then joined my side. I know that he was sent to watch over my son as he grows up, because until the day came that he would begin to grow into his powers...he would be as defenseless as any human. I know that he helped Adam stop Armageddon. Those are the things that I knew before you shared with me the things you knew."

"So...you don't know practically anything." Draco concluded a bit harshly, but received a huff from Lucifer as confirmation.

"I wish I did. I know everything about every demon here, except him."

"Well..." Draco started. "...from what we've been told by our Father's...Father met Aziraphale on the Eastern wall of Eden after tempting Eve to eat the apple. Stuff happened in between, he then found Tana as a baby, raised her, then rescued both her and Nova from the flood waters, sneaking them onto the Ark with Aziraphale to help keep them hidden. Together, Aziraphale and Father raised Tana and Nova. Tana here..." He said as he pointed to her. "...was entirely human. She lived, she loved, she died. Nova lived on and continued training, doing blessings and mischief here and there. Years after that, when the Library of Alexandria was set to burn in Hellfire for a few minutes, Aziraphale was trapped inside, Father went in, rescued him, flew him to his own private home, dressed his wounds, and took care of him as much as he was able. After that...and after Jesus' crucifixion...Father and Aziraphale got together...Father was Mother at that point...and Mother got pregnant with me and my twin brother Orion. We have two different colored eyes on opposite eyes. My left is his right and vice versa. After we were born, we were raised happy, rebellious, mischievous, resilient , reliable, kind, loving, understanding, calculative, and strong in every way we could be strong. Then..." He continued in careful detail, avoiding mine and Aziraphale's arguments as well as me actually being Raphael. "...then Heaven tried to burn our angelic Father while Hell tried to drown our demonic Father. We got captured, we told you that our father would come for us, and you asked us if we really thought so...with a bit of an evil laugh...why was that?"

"Well...I didn't think any demon would come and rescue their children from me, being too frightened of me and all, but Crowley...though I didn't know much about him...I somehow always had a feeling that if he weren't injured, he would make a fierce and difficult combatant if he were to go against me. You said his name...and I wanted to know more. What you've said...It's shed some much needed light on my lack of knowledge."

"What I don't understand is..." Tana started. "...we were told something peculiar about the fourteenth century that doesn't add up with how you're acting now. We were told that you heard rumors and that you became furious with Raphael for being alive."

"That would be Asmodeus' lies. I was furious, it was true, but I was furious that I couldn't go to the surface to speak with him. There's so much that I'd like to say to him...ask him...and...I..."

"And what would you say to him if he were here?" I asked as I walked towards him with my staff in hand, watching his whole body flinch. It was then that I realized my entire voice shifted to the one I had in Heaven. My voice box changed again, but it got the job done. Once I was to the bed, I looked at Tana with a small smile as I nudged my head at her, signalling her to go sit by her brother. Tana and Draco had widened eyes, but they didn't say anything. I then moved to where Tana had sat, letting out a relaxing sigh. "This bed of yours is extremely comfortable." I told him before miracling my staff away. "I've put my staff away, will you look at me?"

"I..." Came his croaked reply as he continued to look at the floor with widened eyes that were filled with fear, doubt, and wonder.

"We have all the time in the world now, Lucifer. Take your time." That seemed to do it, because he instantly brought a hand to his eyes as he sobbed so hard his whole body shook like an earth quake.

"H-How!?" He asked after five hours of sobbing. "How are you alive!? I remember plunging my sword into you!"

"Mother brought me back. She turned me into a demon and I've kept who I am a very tight secret. My children know, of course, because they-"

"Wait! You have children!?" His head shot up, looking at me with astonished eyes that were filled with tears.

"You've been talking to them this whole time." I smiled at them and they smiled back. When I returned my eyes back to Lucifer, his jaw was dropped while his eyes darted back and forth from them to me. "I was the demon Crowley. At the beginning, when I was a demon, I was named Crawley, but I changed it."

"Th-They're your...but..." He held a hand up to his chest, and just as I could feel the love from earlier, I felt the heartbreak as well.

"Lucifer...tell me what you're thinking. Don't fear my opinion, just tell me your thoughts at the moment that make you clutch your chest."

"I...I can't explain it. I...while I was talking to your daughter...I felt warm. I felt safe. I felt...understood. She has your patience, that's for sure." He gave a small laugh at that before continuing while looking at the floor. "I...my chest...I know we don't have hearts, but...when she sat next to me, it felt like I was given one. Heavy and strong, but oh so fragile, but then...you said she was YOUR daughter and I immediately felt empty here, because if she's related to you, then I can't...I don't know, but I can't something."

"Love." I breathed out with an understanding smile, but at my word, his eyes grew wide as he drew in a gasp and looked at me. "That's called love. I can renounce you as my brother and just have you as friend. Mother allowed us to make our own relationships. That doesn't limit the changes of them. I could feel it the moment she sat with you. It was gentle and small, but it's there."

"Y-You...can feel love?" He asked me with a small voice of wonder.

"Now that Mother restored me back to being Raphael, yes. I can. I've been here since you asked them if they really thought I would come and rescue them."

"So I...She..." He looked over at Tana, who started smiling at him, which then caused him to smile with a short laugh of delighted disbelief, but he quickly shook his head with a furrowed brow. "...but she was captured and brought here. She...She hadn't met me before today and anything she would've heard about me...about what I've done..."

"That's something you'll have to talk to her about, but I can tell that the small and gentle love between the two of you is pure and honest. The longer you get to know each other, the more it will start to grow. Now, what else did you want to say to me?"

"I'm sorry." He quickly said. "And...I know that I've no right for forgiveness. I tried to injure your mate, after all, and I ended up killing you, but...I'm sorry all the same. There's also...Oh, there's so much I want to say to you."

"We have time. We do. Do you have the ability to come to the surface?"

"I...I've had the ability, but if I did, then the other demons would get curious and follow me, so I never left. Not even after Eve ate the apple."

"I can make sure they don't." Came Beelzebub's voice from the other side of the room, causing both of us to turn our heads.

"BEELZEBUB!?" He looked at who else was there and his jaw dropped. "Gabriel? Aziraphale? And...are those..."

"Yes, those other two are also my children. Meet my boy, Draco's twin brother...Orion, and my daughter...Nova."

"Lucifer..." Beelzebub continued. "...I can make sure that demons don't follow you, if you wish to go to the service and see what's become of the Earth."

"Thank you, Beelzebub." I told her with a small nod and a smile. "There, you see? You can come visit me and we can talk."

"B-But...what about your mate?" He asked as he looked directly at Aziraphale with pure remorse in his eyes. "I...don't deserve to set foot in your home."

"It's apparently a day for second chances." Aziraphale answered with a small shrug. "Yes, you killed him, and it may take me a while to become comfortable with you in our home, but for six thousand years my mate has been making the decisions he was able to in his situation and it got him this far. However, if you DARE hurt him or any of our children, I will not hesitate to end you when you least expect it."

"U-Understood." Lucifer squeaked out.

"That includes Tana's heart."

"I think I can handle that one, Father." Tana grinned. "But thank you."

"If you think I'm going to back down on this, you're sorely mistaken."

I let out a heavy sigh before looking at Tana with a pleading smile, which caused her to let out a relenting sigh. "Fine."

"Good." I nodded my head. "Now, as much as I'm sure they would love to hear the stories you have about me in Heaven BEFORE God introduced her idea of humans, they have work to do for right now, and I would rather not have my children in Hell, if it's all the same to you." I summoned my staff once again, looked down at my clothes, snapped my fingers, and changed my robes into a white suit with a white button up shirt, white jacket, white pants, dark green boots, and an emerald green tie. "I also have business to attend to." I then looked at my hair, snapped my fingers again and shortened it to shoulder length. "But any time you want to visit, just send Beelzebub my way. I'll make time and I can teach you about the world that ALMOST ended."

"I'll have to take you up on that sometime soon." He replied when he stood next to me.

"Hope so. It's one thing that Aziraphale doesn't understand my love for music, but for you to have never experienced any of the world through six thousand years...there's a lot to catch up on."

"B-But...do you um...do you forgive me?"

I let out a breath through my nose before speaking. "You've apologized, you've shown remorse, but you have to prove to me that you're sorry. You also have to prove you won't hurt my daughter in any way. I accept your apology, but as far as forgiving you goes...that may take some time. Luckily, we have lots of it."

"True." He nodded with an understanding look in his eyes. "I'll see you soon, then."

"All right, then." I smiled before opening my arms, signalling for my children to come towards me. We left, saying our goodbyes, then the children and I got to work with our Guardian Angel duties.

It was now February and while all four children were out either working or doing their own thing, I was relaxing at home with Aziraphale when a knock came from the door. "I'll get it, Angel." I told him as I left the comfortable pillow that was his lap. I was laying there, listening to him read to me, and I was almost asleep, but if it was Adam again I really didn't want to NOT answer it. When I opened the door though, it wasn't Adam, but Lucifer, and he was dressed in relaxed clothing. A red T-shirt with a cartoonish demon on it, a black jacket suitable for the cold, black jeans, and black sneakers. His hair was short and a bit shaggy, but in a way that was in style with someone that had his hair type. "Angel, Lucifer's here."

"Oh, shall I go make tea then?"

"That'd be great, thanks." I told him. Then I turned back to Lucifer and grinned. "Come in."

"Thank you." We sat on the couch after he looked around, stunned by the look of the place. "Beelzebub didn't tell you I was coming, because she wanted it to be a surprise. There um...there's a lot I wanted to ask you about before I um...see the world."

"Well, let's get started then." I grinned, knowing that this would likely be the longest conversation I had ever had, but I had a feeling it would be an interesting and good one after everything that's happened.


End file.
